Hello Dear Marie.
I am so sorry for your loss.My heart goes out to you.
I lost my Daddy in 2004 in October and I was supposed to go and see him..I lived 10.000 km away from him. When I talked to him on the phone he said "Goodbye forever" and I said that he should not say things like that because I am coming..but he always was joking about "going".Two days later he passed away sitting at the table at night watching TV.I was devasteted.My plane was scheduled for the day he died.For a long time I could not forgive myself that I wasn't there with him.The day before the funeral I wrote a nice card for him as if...he was still alive... and put it in his jacket pocket at the cemetery.It was my way of saying Sorry and Goodbye to him. It gives me comfort knowing that he has my note with him.I don't know how to explain better what it makes me feel but I found a comfort at last.Wish you all the best and as somebody said don't hold anything inside let it out.
LOVE lots Elizabeta