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Overwhelmed By Statistics - Looking For Hope

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Subject: Overwhelmed by statistics - Looking for hope
Date: 02/23/2007

My mom has been battling stage IV NSCLC for about 18 months now. We went through a year of chemo with no success (but luckily minimal side effects) and then 8 weeks of tough radiation. The radiation shrunk the primary tumors (in her lungs, nodes and spine) but in the meantime, new tumors appeared in her lungs and the adrenal gland in her kidney.

We've been very hopeful through all of this. She's only 57, and perfectly healthy otherwise. She's also a non-smoker (only smoked a few in her ealry 20s). The frustrating thing is that she's been handling treatment so well - but it just hasn't been doing the trick. Even our doctor is frustrated.

Luckily we live in a good area (outside Wash DC) and we have access to great care. They just put my mom on Tarceva - and supposedly she's a good candidate for it. We'll see how that's working in about 2 months. She is showing side effects - which I hear is a good sign with that drug.

For the last year or so, the whole family has been approaching this like it's a winable battle - only to keep getting our hopes smacked down every time there is a new consult with the doctor. My mom was devestated to hear about the new growth, and asked the doctor - how do I compare with most patients that are in my same situation? He calmly responded "most patients that I see at this stage, have not survived as long as you have." That knocked the wind out of all of us.

All of the stats give her very limited time. But she seems to be handling everything so well even though the cancer is continuing to spread. Her body has slowed down a bit from all of the treatment - but she is still working full time and running a household.

I'm scared because I'm trying to balance statistics with what I see with her on a day-to-day basis. When I see her I think "she's fine" but when I read about her situation, I am worried that she could suddenly go down hill at any time. It's plaguing me every day. And I have no idea, not even a sense of an idea of how long I have with her.

I am interested to hear stories about people or caregivers in a similar situation. I feel like we're walking a tightrope of living with hope every day and being scared that things could go downhill very quickly. I truly don't know what to expect. Could she survive like this for years? Or should I really be helping her plan right away for "worst-case scenario."

I'm an only child, and she's a single mom. We're really in this together and I have no experience to know how I should be approaching it. But lately I can't think of anything else. I would love to hear your thoughts. I have been reading your posts and am inspired by your lives - and I guess I could use a little bit of that right now to help me find a sense of normalcy.

Take care,

Nicole

Messages History for "Overwhelmed By Statistics - Looking For Hope"

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