Please read this and let me know if you agree or disagree and if you have had any experiences that may go along with it.
It Is Time For A Change
It is time for a change in the way cancer is viewed. I recently lost someone very dear to me. It is my belief that it was not the cancer that killed him but mindset. From the minute he was diagnosed everyone saw him differently. They saw cancer and death not a good honest and gentle man.
A diagnosis of cancer is probably the most devastating thing a person can hear, whether it is yourself or a loved one being diagnosed. The first thing that comes to mind is death. We are all guilty whether the diagnosis is for a loved one or us. The doctors and nurses who treat the cancer are the same. It is a mindset that virtually everyone has. The problem with that is that it shows and the patient picks up on it and sooner or later it causes serious problems. The patient has to deal with his or her own mortality and think of the ones they will leave behind if they die. It causes extreme anxiety, which can have a negative effect on any treatment they receive. When we as loved ones learn of the diagnoses it can cause us to freeze in some way. We concentrate so much on the cancer and fear of the outcome that we become unable to focus on research and other things that can help. Doctors too are guilty because many of the treatments they use are based on what they believe to be the knowledge that the patient will not live long. They tend to blame every symptom on the cancer and ignore some very important warning signs. They give drugs that can have a devastating effect on a person with the outlook that they have cancer they are going to die and what difference does it make if they become addicted to something. Believe me it does matter it can seriously interfere with treatment and above all it causes such havoc in the persons life who becomes addicted to something.
I have seen and learned so much in the past few months about cancer and all of the side effects. Emotional and mental side effects both in the patient and others. I have learned first hand what hope can do and I saw too what taking that hope from someone can do. It can cause a person to be sucked into a whirlpool of misery that not only will destroy the value of the time they have left if they are terminal but ruin any chance they may have to defeat or at least have the cancer go into remission.
We all need to start seeing cancer in a different way. This is the 21st century and there are many things that can help cancer patients and more being developed everyday. There is hope it may be a small one in some cases but it is still there. We need to nurture that hope not destroy it. Next week or next year a cure can be found it is there somewhere and soon it will be found and available. How sad that so many people will die before that cure is found maybe days before simply because they are given up on. I believe that doctors need to be trained to work with a person’s mental and emotional health as well as the cancer. I believe that they should offer every patient some small ray of hope. I also believe that when they feel they can no longer do anything that they should be required to offer patients a chance to become part of the clinical studies that go on everyday. They work for some people and if you feel there is not much hope why not give it a chance. They should also be required to tell patients that there are alternative treatments being tried and in some cases working, and they should provide the information for a cancer patient so they can decide if they want to try it.
Now this is something that is very important to me personally because it had such a devastating and tragic outcome for the man I mentioned earlier.
Every patient is offered a form to sign saying if they want to be saved no matter what it takes. There are many people out there I'm sure who would decide that it is not worth what they would have to go through but there are people too who are willing to take that chance. They want the right to fight to live. They are given a choice and they make a decision that is right for them. That decision should be respected. It is known by all and is even in writing. No one doctor or otherwise should have the right to badger them and try to get them to change their mind. A doctor should not be allowed to refuse to treat them just because they choose to fight to live. It is their duty morally and by law to see that the person’s wishes are carried out. They have no right to override those wishes or to stall until it is too late to carry them out. Each person that makes that decision has to struggle with it in their mind. It is not easy for them. They not only have to face death but they have to consider how much suffering they may have to endure. Once their decision is made they should be left alone. It is their life and their body and their choice. Being constantly called upon to restate that decision or having someone insist they change their mind can cause them harm in more ways than one.
It is a terrible thing to have to watch someone you love struggle with all of the issues that cancer brings to their lives. It is even worse to see the fear and confusion they face everyday of their lives. Hope can be a wonderful inspiration and taking away hope can be cruel and as life threatening as the cancer itself. Lets start looking at it a different way. Think of cancer as a challenge to be met and that though it may in many cases be a loosing battle their are always those who will be an exception. Lets look at each person and treat each person diagnosed with cancer as if they are the one who will beat the statistics. Who knows that might be all it takes to make it so!!!!
Ps. I don't know how many people will ever read this but it is written straight from the heart. I have witnessed some heart rendering things in the past few months and I don't want to see people have to continue to go through those things. The man I speak about often told me I should write and I always put him off because I never thought I had anything worthwhile to say. Now because of his death and what we went through together I have found something to write about. His name was John and I dedicate this and all I can do to change things to him.
Lillian D.