Latest Emotional Support discussions http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/after-treatment/emotional-support/1,0,120,78.htm Fri, 16 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Fri, 16 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ I just finished reading all messages this morning from February 2008 to present.  I was dx'd with MF Sept. 07 (61 yrs. old) and constantly have questions no one seems to be able to answer.  You are so right about the Internet info. being underwhelming and frightening.  I have been to Cleveland Clinic and now dr. with a local hem. who keeps in touch with the Cleveland dr.  I am so interested in all the talk about drugs many of you are on or have tried.  Both hems. (Cleveland and local - Toledo, OH) said NO to any drugs other than Revlimid. I need to continue working as long as possible because of health insurance, therefore I need to keep a decent quality of life as long as possible.  I am resisting taking the Revlimid - although neither dr. said I must take it.  I could go on and on - so many questions - don't we just need a magic mirror?  God does not promise us tomorrow - just strength for each day!  Thank you Lord for that promise.  My husband is stage 4 renal cell cancer, although he is doing very well at the moment!  We trust God each and every day for the strength to go on and to meet people with a smile.  I had to chuckle at the message that said how frustrating it is that so many people say how wonderful you look (are they thinking - are you sure you are sick?) - I have started answering I feel just great, thank you!  What they don't know won't hurt them.  I always add - but please keep praying for both of us!!!  Thanks for listening!  Great to be in touch with fellow MF sufferers!!kah http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,24077,0.htm GrandmaKathi Thu, 15 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT This may be silly but I am concerned that I may have quite a few of the symptoms and I wondered if there were a few people who could relate their symptoms to me.  I have done some research online and am unsure.  I have abdominal pain, but I have had it for years off and on.  Most often in the morning before getting out of bed, I was diagnosed with Diverticulitus approx 4 years ago.Lately I have had more abdominal pain, back pain, pain during intercourse, frequent/urgent need to urinate, bloating, constipation or diahrrea and my periods seem to be heavier than normal..I read somewhere that often OC is misdiagnosed as a gastrointestinal disease.  Has this happened to anyone?  I have been divorced over a year and without insurance so before I look into somewhere to get some sort of testing, I wondered if I may just be worrying myself to much.Does anyone relate to these symptoms or could you tell me what the strongest indicators were for you? http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23986,0.htm kathyg327 Tue, 13 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT 30th August last year at 1.10 am, my dad died from cancer.  That's the first time I've written that, and it still doesn't ring true.  I nursed him, with my mother, from diagnosis through to the end, four months later.  I left my job to be able to do that, and moved back to the village where I grew up.  Nearly 9 months later, I'm still here.  I've been going to counselling since before he died, and have been on anti-depressants since I fell apart at Christmas.  I just don't seem to be able to wake up from this dreamlike state I've been in.  I used to talk to my Dad every day on the phone.  We talked about every major decision and most of the minor ones in my life and his.  We wound each other up about politics, giggled about all sorts of trivial things and supported each other with various worries about family, career etc.  We understood each other implicitly - just two words was enough for either of us to understand the irritation/confusion/happiness/pride the other was feeling.  We loved, respected and were deeply proud of each other.  When I found out that my husband is a compulsive gambler, he held me as I sobbed and screamed out my shock and pain. He was my compass, and I am so lost without him.  I know he would want me to go on and be strong and have a full life, but those are just empty words.  I AM trying, I'm walking and swimming and trying to keep active, but I'm living like a hermit and just can't cope with trying to rebuild my life.  I feel so stupid for being such a wimp.  My mother seemed to bounce back within weeks and my two brothers seem to have been virtually untouched by grief.  I know everyone deals with things differently, but their way of coping just makes me feel even more alone.  Not that I go around moping - most people think that I'm doing fine, as I generally manage to behave as if life has completely returned to normal.  But I miss him so much.  I keep having dreams that he has come back, but still as a very sick man.  I wake up crying sometimes and feeling as if my chest is about to split open with the pain.  If my dad was here, he'd hold me and everything would be ok again.  But he's not, and I just can't get my head around it. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23917,0.htm dozydaisy Sat, 10 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Pat, There are always risk to anything they do to us.  Endoscopy's are extremely comon, however necessary at times to save a life.  So pray for strength to get over the fear of the anesthesia and have the proceedure done.  I too, like the one person that wrote you have had the camera to look at my vocal chords and it was a tickle.  But I have heard from people in earlier days before anesthetic when having the endoscopy done and they said they really gagged and just hated it. So, if I were you, I would just do it.  It is important to your life.Re: COPD, my mom too has terminal COPD and has been in the hospital 14 times in 12 months.  But I learned how to ensure her safety while in the care of Doctors and rehabilitaion centers.  If you ever need any one to chat with on this subject; I am practically a pro now.  I would love to help in anyway that I can.  You can email me directly if you like at --Message edited by CancerCompass staff. For personal protection, email address removed. Consider private reply. Please review CancerCompass Member Guidelines at http://www.cancercompass.com/common/guidelines.html-- http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23899,0.htm beckylynn Fri, 09 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT I finished my radiation 5 weeks ago. It was low dose and only 10 sessions, but created a fairly large bald spot on the back of my head. I have been dying my hair for years and wonder how long I should wait to dye it now. The doctor's nurse said to go for it, but I'd rather hear from someone who has had the experience.             Thanks, GrannyCon http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23881,0.htm GrannyCon Fri, 09 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT On May 18th 2008 it will be my Daddy's birthday, and 6 months and one day from the day he passed after a short 6 month battle with stomach cancer. He was only 55.  Each day presents one of two scenarios, sometimes good and sometimes bad, in dealing with the passing of my father.  Some days, I can feel the weight of depression on my soul the minute I wake up.  Nothing goes quite the way I want, my spirit is heavy, and then something reminds me of Daddy and I'm in the bathroom bawling.  Other days I think about him and all of the wonderful moments he's taken part of and created in my life, and it feels as if he's right there smiling with me. I'm not crying, I'm just thankful, for being in that moment, and being able to remember and enjoy that I experienced that.  I don't expect to ever get over this in my time here. I don't think anyone does when you lose someone you love.  But in the words of my loving Mother, I am changed forever.  We all are.  I know Earth is not where we are meant to stay.  But this is all we know here and now, and no matter how spiritual you may be, sometimes, it is hard to comprehend life without those that have impacted us so much.  I find myself fighting harder, trying to live harder, and love harder.  I still have a long way to go....  I believe in Flinstones vitamins for my son, and walks in the evening, and taking care of flowers, and appreciating every minute of it.  For all of you in my situation, trying to live life without them; the ones we love; and for those still in the battle, I send you love, and the message to love, and to love life.  It's not over when we pass on, but when we leave here, this Earth, we have only had one shot at making it good.  Make it great!! Love and hugs!!!-Tash  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23834,0.htm tashfish Wed, 07 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT hiI  hopeing for great news today from you !!! I pray its a positive report for you both  we need these great days  for sure  let it be a hole in one !!!   pbh aka marie http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23594,0.htm princessbrokenhead Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT Ok so I am don't have cancer. But my younger brother does. Stage 3 colon with mets to the lever and nods. anyways. I live away from home, about 1300 miles. I have been with my company for almost 10 years, I have accured 40 plus sick days and in a position that if I don't use them by the time I have accured 50 days I will not accuring. I work in a seasonal industry, campus food services where the summers are slow during the months of June and July. This morning I had a meeting with my boss to ask about using some of this sick time during these months...only 25 days. He knows of my brothers condition.anyways, he told me that it was a double edged sword. that he needed to be consistant to all the groups of people. He manages salary employees, union employees, and non-union employees. He stated that I would need to fill out FLMA Paperwork. That would be fine if I qualified, but I don't. According to all the reading have completed, brothers don't qualify as immediate family.What do you do? I can't find a loop hole. Except to make me his perminate caregiver, and if he did that then he was loose his insurance. It makes me so angry and hurt as an employee that this isn't something we can work out. I have given 10 years of my life to them. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23507,0.htm ladybug41079 Mon, 28 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi,My sister and I are both in our mid-twenties and we have always been very close.  A few months ago, she left the country for grad school, but even with her being halfway around the world we were talking at least several times a week.  That is, until a couple of weeks ago, when she filled me in on recent doctor appointments that led to her being suddenly diagnosed with cervical cancer. I don't even know the details of it, and I am so scared, I can't concentrate on anything else. At first, she called me crying, and we talked for a long time, and we talked the following day, but then she seemed to shut down, and now she won't talk to me at all and I feel so helpless because she is literally in another hemisphere. I totally understand that I must respect her need for privacy and her need to cope in her own personal way, but I also want to make it clear to her that I am always going to be here for her when she's ready for my support and I don't know how to do that without making her feel smothered.  When she first called, I did ask her if she wanted me to talk to the rest of the family for her and she said yes, so I did. Plus, she told me her roommate out there is being very supportive of her, so that does make me feel better.  But my question to everyone out there is, could you please help me to understand how I can be the most supportive for her?  I have emailed her cards and sent her IMs that just say that everyone in our family loves her and is here for her, whenever she needs us and she did respond with "thanks".  So should I just stay back and wait for her to contact me, or do I continue to send her little hellos daily? I don't want to nag her, but I don't want to neglect her.  Thank you all for any advice or input you may have. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23488,0.htm Alias101 Sun, 27 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hello everyone!  I am hoping to find some serious support- kind of feeling alone right now.....I have been through the death of my grandmother from stomach cancer three years ago, my mother in November (just seven days shy of my 36th birthday due to breast cancer) and now this month, the death of my Uncle (mother's brother) due to neurofibromatosis.  A bit much to deal with emotionally.... At any rate, I am wondering if there is anyone else out there who experiences bone discomfort with ET.  It's not an actual pain, just more of a discomfort...sometimes I feel like my legs are being weighed down.  Given what has happened with my family hx of cancer, I am trying to avoid being negative, but it gets hard to maintain a positive attitude at times, especially when I hear people tell me that it's not good that I am experiencing some discomfort.  I did some research online a few days ago, and I noticed that there are some homeopathic meds that claim to treat ET, but admittedly, I am too much of a skeptic to consider that form of therapy.  Any responses to my post would be greatly appreciated.Even though I recently joined an MPD support group in my area (IL), no meetings have actually occured, and I just want to reach out and start connecting with others who have ET.   Thanks and the best of health to everyone! Dana http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23470,0.htm Callalilly2 Sun, 27 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT my husband died on march 15 of pancrease cancer.  I am trying to put my life back together but i miss him so much, ronnie was my best friend and i cant stop thinking about all i could have done, or all i didn;t do. i cry so much  me and ronnie were friends for thrity five years, then nine years ago we married and it was the best marriage anyone could have asked for.  we were really soul mates.  i am writing this becasue i do all kinds of things to get pass my sadness.  everyday i have to fake it and no one really knows the pain i am in,  i think i am so alone. my husband was gay and so no one takes his death seriously i guess believing we were not really in love , but we had the perfect marriage.  I love him so much. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23431,0.htm 1sandy Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT My husband is soon to be going through hormone and radiation therapy after a radical prostatectomy.  We have been getting conflicting information on the side effects from the hormone therapy as it pertains to impotency.  Do lupron injections cause impotence?  Marti http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23317,0.htm MartiA Tue, 22 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am so distraught over my brother's cancer.  He was diagnosed with 4th stage sqamous cell lung cancer last Oct.  He has had metastisis to the brain, spinal cord, bone and now the liver.  They are using the most aggressive chemo and radiation available.  The liver and a second spot on the spinal cord was found yesterday and it spread to the other lung.  He seems to be sleeping all day and I don't know if it's the cancer or the meds.  He is on morphine, vicodin, valium and decadron.  It seems that the cancer is beating the treatment.  Nobody has said anything about stopping treatment and letting him have some peace.  He feels like if he doesn't do all they propose he is giving up.  What kind of prognosis do you think he has if he tries more chemo and more radiation?  How long can he live with the cancer spreading this fast? http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23302,0.htm aconcernedsister Tue, 22 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT Well, I really don't know what to say.... the doctors told us my mom has stomach cancer just this month. She has turned down chemo treatment (for now)....she feels she is to weak for chemo, but she is doing radaition 5 days a week for 5 to 7 weeks. This is my first go around with what cancer does not only to the person who has it,but to the people that have to stand and watch.....and who just want to save them and I hate it!!!! I just want my mom to be ok.....she is the backbone to our family and my best friend! I am just 30 and have no idea what to do. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23273,0.htm sunflowerz4444 Mon, 21 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT It seems like this horrible nightmare that progressively gets worse. In and out of the hospital, ups and downs. Emotionally drained! I feel like I can't breathe or sleep and I feel guilty for living. My Dad...my hero. He has been though so much and continues his up hill battle daily. He wants to give up. I understand his reasoning but I can't make my heart understand. He is everything to me. He is the reason for my existance and I want to do everything to make him better BUT I can't. I have to help him get through this. I can't let go. I can't see him suffer anymore. I know, I am selfish, I am a coward because I fall to pieces when he needs me. Ia m so confused and so hurt that this is happening to him. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23197,0.htm welovedad Fri, 18 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT My name is Cayla and I'm 19 years old. My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer in October of 2005 and it spread to her liver and her lungs and the doctor gave her two years. She died Feb 29th 2008 and I just need someone to talk to that can relate and understand to me please. I have no one and I feel so alone. I not only lost my mother I also lost my best friend. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23133,0.htm VikingChic84 Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT I got the news today.My mom has a large inoperable mass in her liver.She had colon cancer and had 1/3 of her colon removed 2 years ago.No follow up treatment...the surgeon said he was sure he got it all. Now its in her liver .I am still in shock with no one to talk to. I am a mess.I can't stop crying even now . I want to know a little about what to expect.....how long will I have my Mom? Does anyone ever recover from something like this? Where do I go for straight talk? I am lost without her. She is all I have http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23026,0.htm Kate Akers Sun, 13 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi- I'm new to this. My Dad was just diagnosed stage 4 inopperable pancreatic cancer (spread to liver) April 5th and is on his second chemo treatment tomorrow. Because I have a medical background I have to communicate between the Dr.'s, insurance, ect. and relay information to my Mom who is his primary caregiver. I go to appointments with him and take care of anything Mom needs handled. Any advice anyone can provide me with how to take care of my own needs while taking care of my Dad and assisting my Mom would be greatly appreciated. I'm really feeling overwhelmed and this is jut the begining. Any stories to help would also be appreciated. I'll post more on the medical aspects of Dad when I get myself in line. Thanks to everyone and take care, Diane http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23024,0.htm bukowski17 Sun, 13 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT that is hard for me to type. It hasn't hit me yet.. Only a little bit. I have some family here. Not my parents, my dad had a triple by pass nearly 2 weeks ago and isn't home yet. so my children are here along with my sis in law and other in laws.. His parents have already passed. If I may help anyone with any questions I'd be glad. He fought his fight for nearly 2 years. Since July 06, I appreciate this site and have met 1 person in particular and have kept in touch the whole way,. So don't hesitate if I may help someone.. yours truly, Ms C http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23023,0.htm Mscheryl103 Sun, 13 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT A friend of mine who is a huge inspiration to me wrote this and said that I could post it.  I thought that many of you would enjoy it. TinaHaving enjoyed a beautiful Easter with my family and  friends, the weekend ended way too soon.  The girls started back to school  and Ronnie went back to work.  I returned to chemo.  I had to force  the car to drive there yesterday because I would have enjoyed  nothing better than staying at home playing with the horses and  piddling around the house. It's over an hour to drive to the hospital  and some days it is a rather lonely trip.  Other days I enjoy being lost  with my thoughts. Yesterday, was a little of both.  I was  dreading treatment but imagining the good that it will do.When I got to the office, Deb gave me a huge smile and  a hug.  Mytrepidation disappeared.  Thank heavens for wonderful  nurses!  She told me that they were doing some redecorating and we'd  soon be getting new infusion chairs.  I've not given much thought  to the soon to be replaced chair even though I've sat  in it more times than I can count. It's a bluish-green color that  isn't exactly inviting but isn't drab either.  It has a serious demeanor  with a tray in front; clinical but comfortable.  Not quite worn out but  dimpled in the cushions and aged more than some I've seen. I started  thinking about the old saying if these walls could talk and began to wonder  about the arms of these chairs.  With four or five patients every single  day, more than 100 lives are cushioned in each every given month. That's a  lot of living!  I've done my share of living while getting infused.  There have been times when I sought comfort from the high back and would  relax comfortably in it's hug, determined that the chemo dripping into my  body was melting tumors.  Other times when Iknew that my cancer  was progressing, but hoped that the next concoction to be given in that very  chair would bring more time and hope. I have experienced both dread and anticipation between those arms. There have been days where I literally had to make myself sit there. wanting to be anywhere and everywhere else.  I have been mad and glad, scared and tired, sick and  frustrated, excited and hopeful in that one silly chair. I've slept there,  rested there, and experienced every emotion under the sun sitting in the dimpled  cushion of that chair.  I've dreamed of my children and family, wished many  wishes, and prayed many a prayer while sitting there.  I've read  books, listened to music, and met new friends.As I sat in it yesterday the chair next to me saw two  other patients comeand go. The first was in and out fairly quickly....an  old pro with thisroutine.  The second was there for the first time and  diagnosed with stage IV colorectal cancer.  She found out just before the  birth of her son and is only 33 years old.  Her husband was with her and at  first I heard determination in the voice through the curtain but as  the newness of what was happening began to settle in the voice became  shakier.  Questions filled the air.  Will this make her  sick?  Will her hair fall out?  How long until it works and how many treatments until she's done?  Answers that had  probably already been given a few times over but often come with different  responses.  I heard her husband's voice waver slightly and then he  asked if she thought she would be ok if he left to call and check on the baby  and work. My mind traveled back to those tearful first visits to  chemo that now seem a lifetime ago and the emotions that Ronnie and I shared  together all from a similar chair.  We would ride home with my head  against his shoulder and his arm on my leg.  I would sleep orpretend to  sleep so that we could act as though what just happened hadn't. Sometimes I would cry silently and sometimes we would cry  together.  And then there were the celebrations when all in the  world was right and news was good.  I lived, and still live, for moments  like those.  My thoughts were drawn to the girl next door. I  heard sniffling and an effort to hold back tears. She was  alone.  I let her cry for a minute or two and then asked if she would mind company.  I parted the curtains and we began to talk. We  exchanged phone numbers and by the time her husband was back life  stories. I saw the relief in his face when he saw her smile.  A  good feeling....all from the support of a comfy old  chair.Suzanne Lindley http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,22922,0.htm chadsmom Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT hi im ariel and im only 15 years old.About a month ago my dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer and it was no big deal they could just take out the kidney and he would be perfect but when they examined the kidney they realized that he was only born with one and that one had be infected with cancer. For the last month my dad has been in and out of the hospital and having many surgeries and going to dialysis evry other day and chemo every three weeks. its really hard on me seeing my dad waking up wiht abrely no hair and i dont really know who to talk to because none of my friends can realy relate to me and i hate talking to my mom about it becuase she gets depressed over it. im going through a really tough time and no one can really tell cause i constantly have a fake smile on to hide my feelings. ariel http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,22894,0.htm arrieeelll Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi, Please can someone help me ?    My Father has stomach cancer, originating from the bowel which has also spread to the liver.  Eight weeks a go he had a stent fitted to enable him to eat.  He was diagnosed in September 07.  He is now in hospital again with severe pain and vomiting.  They don't think that the stent is blocked.  Is this what happens near the end?, Does the stomach get completely fill with tumor? that you can no longer eat even if you wanted to.  The Specialist nurse said that they don't alway like to tell you what may come next because I suppose it could freak you out.  At Christmas my Father had severe vomiting, I took him to my local Doctors and they gave him an anti-sickness drug , thinking it was his chemo but all along after 2 weeks of horrendous trauma it turned out to be his stomach that had blocked.  If I had known that this was a possibility then I could have dealt with it.At the moment my Father is still so alert and not ready to die  but is skin and bones, very sad to see.The Specialist nurse asked him today if he would like a day at the local Hospice.  He said "No Thanks people never come out of those places ".The hospital have decided not to do a barium meal because they think they know whats causing the problem.Please if someone could just enlighten me, at least I will know whats coming, not that it makes it any easier but at least the family can be more prepared for whats to come.  I know now that there are many stages to go through and several people who have lost loved ones have said be prepared as there is lots more to come.Thanks for listening, I don't know what I would do without this site it seems to be my life line at the moment.God Bless everyone else who is suffering at the moment either as a patient or the carer.  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,22870,0.htm Gaily Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT My husband David was diagnosed with kidney cancer in december.the kidney was removed and per urologist all cancer was removed with the kidney. a recent follow up vist shows some abnormal cells in baldder for which he is receiving immunotherapy.This will be followed by biopsy, cat scan, urine and blood work and poss "preventative chemo.  My question ishow to cope from test to results to dr visit and then all over. David is doingOk and has a posative attitude and not really a worrier...I on the other handhave no pateints and a lot of anxiety...how do you all get from one thing to another with out going crazy....I dont want to cry in front of DavidThanks for any suggedtionsSandy  http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,22821,0.htm WOLFLADY1020 Tue, 08 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT I had some blood work done and my red blood cells are elevated and have been so for quite a while. I have been referred to an oncologist. this has really put a scare into me and my whole family because an oncologist is a cancer dr. i still have 2 weeks before my appointment. does my regular dr. think i have cancer or does anyone have any idea what might be going on? http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,22807,0.htm Tami8400 Tue, 08 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi my name is Lisa.  I just came upon this site as I searched the internet for some kind of emotional support.  I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer 2 days after Christmas.  As I have known many people with this type of cancer and the life expectancy, my mother had a rare form and was told she would "probably die of old age".  My mother was 68.I'm not sure what is harder on my family: the anger towards the medical profession (it's not their fault) or the shock of losing someone we all loved and miss terribly.  My mother was larger than life and very noticeably missing.  My three sisters, brother and father are having such a hard time moving forward. Somedays, I can't stop crying. Thanks for listeningLisa http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,22732,0.htm LisaS Sat, 05 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT