CancerCompass message board discussion started by Alina V. on 1/8/2005 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,1466,0.htm Sun, 23 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sun, 23 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ It's been 2 years since my Mother was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and I've been grieving and dreading the inevitable. I felt as if she was handed a "death sentence", from her Oncologist. The doctors and myself tried very hard to save her life but after unsuccessful chemotherapy treatments that didn't work, our hope was diminishing and I felt as if the END was near and Death was waiting with each Dawn of Day. On January 2, 2005, my Mother passed away in her sleep. I am an only child and therefore had to make all the funeral arrangements by myself while on the other hand, felt grieve-stricken. Now that its over, I can't focus, sleep, or forget this dreadful haunting nightmarish disease, which took my Mother from me and from this Earth. Is there someone out there who experienced losing a parent and could you please help me cope in advising me on how to move on after this dramatic, tragic, sad experience???? Alina V. Sat, 08 Jan 2005 00:00:00 GMT You have to look at the time you gave your mother and what it meat to her to know some one was there and trying ever thing for her. She would have wanted you to go on and have a good life and learn from all you have been through and make the best of what you have. My daughter is living with the same thing. My wife has a GBM 4 and they said she had 9 months but we will fight it all the way. We don't know what tomorrow will bring but I know she is what makes life worth living for her mother. She wrote this letter to the doctor in Colorado, (For a long time I've wanted to say "thanks" for all you've done for my mother, Rose. ...Each time we'd meet new patients or colleagues, it became more and more apparent that you are so respected and admired for not only being an amazing doctor, but an amazing man. Dedicated, spiritual, inspiring. And somehow, even bad news sounds better when you explain it. You give the gift of time to so many. And treat more than just the body with more than just medicine...you give hope. I know the journey my family is on will test our strength once again. I am so grateful we were led to this place where my family feels safe knowing we are surrounded by people who care. Thank you ... for all you and your staff do everyday! Always, Patricia B.) It is hard to live with the thought that they will not be here but remember you make it a lot better when they were here. I live in Illinois and know my wife could die today but she is in the best hands any place with God and our daughter there watching over her. It is hard to see what my daughter has to do every day and the stress she has to be under, We have just her and if I had to die I would want to know she took care of me to the end. but some day you will see it was for a reason. Your parents would be proud of you. Good luck in the future. Mike B. Rosemarie B. Sat, 15 Jan 2005 00:00:00 GMT I recently lost my mother on February 5 2005 to kidney cancer that had metastisized to her brain. She was only 52. I am one of her daughters. I feel exactly the same way. I can't sleep at all either. I am getting married this August and thought for sure she would make it. My mother and I were very close, I took care of her until her very last breath. I cry every day because I miss her so much. We shared everything together. I try to be positive because I know nothing I do can change what has happened. I try to think of the way she was when she was healthy, I hate to remember her as suffering. Which she was. I know she will always be with me, and I know your mother will always be with you. I wish you all the best. Jessi5 Mon, 07 Mar 2005 00:00:00 GMT I recently lost my mother on February 5 2005 to kidney cancer that had metastisized to her brain. She was only 52. I am one of her daughters. I feel exactly the same way. I can't sleep at all either. I am getting married this August and thought for sure she would make it. My mother and I were very close, I took care of her until her very last breath. I cry every day because I miss her so much. We shared everything together. I try to be positive because I know nothing I do can change what has happened. I try to think of the way she was when she was healthy, I hate to remember her as suffering. Which she was. I know she will always be with me, and I know your mother will always be with you. I wish you all the best. Jessi5 Mon, 07 Mar 2005 00:00:00 GMT My Mother died of colon cancer July 10 2004. I was going to say I lost her....but somehow that didn't seem right. I still miss her so much, and I miss her in ways I didn't realize until she was gone. I have been told often that time will heal....to some degree passage of time has eased the sting, but I still feel bruised. I tell myself that death is part of life, its part of the circle of things, and that makes me feel better sometimes.Other times I am just sad and I don't understand why my Mom had to die, or why the whole thing was so fast. ( She was diagnosed April 15 and she was gone by July 10, She was only 58, and had remarried a year before.) I take great comfort in my pictures that I have of both of us, and all the cards she has sent me over the years. The other thing I do is cry. WhenI feel like I need to,I cry. If I'm at work I'll go somewhere quiet and private, but if I need to cry I go do it. As sad a thing as it is, I try to respect my Mom's death and honor my feelings and my greiving as part of my individual life experience. I hope this helps. You will have good days mixed in with bad, when you find yourself having a good day, do what you can to enjoy. There is a difference between honoring your grief and making yourself miserable! Also take care of yourself, find things to look forward to, create little treats for yourself. Beckyrn Sat, 30 Apr 2005 00:00:00 GMT I am sorry for the pain I know you are feeling right now, I know of it well. My mum passed away on the 22nd March 1998. It takes time, Not time to get over it, but time to accept what has happend and time to adjust to you're new life, a life without a mother. I was also very scared of cancer just after my mum died but looking back I now understand why I was so scared, it was because it was right in front of me distroying the person I loved the most in the world. Now almost 8 years on I am not haunted by cancer everyday - it makes me angry that so many peaple are dying and it also makes me angry that one of those people had to be my mum but I do not live in fear of it. I have learned to live without my mum and it is awlful everyday I miss her everynight I say goodnight to her, But I am happy now in my life the new life I learned to live. Please give your self time, life does go on as annoying as that saying is it is true. Danielle1 Tue, 02 Aug 2005 00:00:00 GMT For 39 days from the time she was diagnosed with secondary liver cancer mestastatic from breast cancer recurrence 17 years ago, my dad, brother and sisters watched our beloved mother deteriorate daily and peacefully went home to be with the Lord on May 12, 2006 ( Two days before Mother's Day). It was the most painful, traumatic and devastating moment of our lives. The cruelest and worst part of it was our parents 60th anniversary huge celebration was pre-planned 4 months ago and was scheduled on Saturday May 20th, but it turned out to be her first visitation night at the mortuary. The words of Jesus in the Holy Scriptures were the only source of comfort that our family have right now: Jesus is the Resurrection and the LIfe. He who believes in Him will never die. Our beloved Mama is now at home with our Lord Jesus and someday we will be reunited with her, and anyone who will trust HIM as his personal Lord and Savior. "So, Mama it's just good night not good-bye --- maybe a long good-night, but we will see each other again." Efcares Wed, 31 May 2006 00:00:00 GMT Hello Dear Being, I wanted to give you comfort in some way.  I just lost my mother to cancer, lung cancer, kidney cancer, bladder cancer, and I witnessed it spread to the brain, and lymphatic system.  I know how you feel.  It has been almost 6 weeks since my best friend died...awful feeling.  I have heard that this is something  I will learn to live with, but never get over.  I  understand that  statement.  Sometimes, I wonder how to live  with it as well.   Know that  I understand you.   I wish I could be of more help, support,  and love . Be well. Cococo Cococo Sat, 20 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT