CancerCompass message board discussion started by marlene66 on 8/2/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,14954,0.htm Sun, 23 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sun, 23 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ My husband has stage III lymphoma. Were newlyweds. Also new to cancer. I am constantly busy. I took a 3 month family medical leave and returned to work part time. Just enough hours to keep my med. insurance. I am trying so hard to hold things together but it gets harder and harder. I feel as if I am losing it if that makes sense. I am so overwheled and exhausted.  I don't tell him how I feel cause I don't want him to feel bad. It's not his fault. Theres no one for me to talk to. I feel alone I suppose. I know I'm not by reading your stories. I pray for everyone here and the ones who aren't.  Thank you for reading this. marlene66 Thu, 02 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I don't know much about the type of cancer that he has but cancer has been in my family for a long time. It has personally affected my mother, sister, grandmother, grandfather, and some aunts. On the 10th of august i have to go see a surgeon to set up a biopsy on my left breast. My mammo showed a 2.3 cm. lesion. I'm very scared! I'm just 34, will be 35 on the 27th, and breast cancer runs very strong in my family, including my mother. And my 25yr. old sister died 2 yrs ago of ovarian cancer. The doctors tell me that breast and ovarian cancer are linked. So i'm very high risk. Anyway, i know how you must be feeling. I think i've been through all of the emotions you could possibly go through in a  lifetime. I'm here if you need to talk.                                                                Your Friend,                                                                 Tracy's Sis Tracys Sis Thu, 02 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT Hi,So sorry you and your husband are going thru this.It stinks.Know that we are here for you.You need to vent to someone.Please don't keep it in.Hopefully you have a close friend or family member you can confide in.If not we are here for you.Will be praying for your husband and you.Keep the faith.God Bless you and yoursSusan Connies Sis Thu, 02 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT My heart goes out to you both. Sounds like you are both so young. Cancer has no boundaries. I just want you to keep the faith. It will carry you through. And by no means do not give up hope. My sister is a lynphoma survivor! She was in her 60's when this occurred. It has been more than 5 years, and her scans have been clean. She had a bone marrow transplant and underwent chemo. Her husband made the decision for her treatment to be aggressive. She also took Retuxin (not sure if that is the correct spelling) At that time it was experimental. Do your own research. Everyday there are new advances in cancer. My other sister is being treated for Ovarian cancer--my husband is being treated for lung cancer and right now is taking a break from his 3rd round of chemo being treated with Alimita. They will do another scan in 3 months and go from there. Swollen lymph nodes is what showed in the recent scan but no spreading. We are so grateful for that. We are Christians and have had so much prayer going out for him. People we don't even know. My niece in PA (we are in RI) said an older gentleman comes up to her in church and asks about my husband, as he has been praying for him! My brother died in 1978 of colon cancer at 38 leaving 4 kids--the youngest was 4 at the time. Had it been discovered in this day and age he would have had a much better chance of surviving. Our own Police Chief here in Providence was having treatment for colon cancer when my husband was and he is back at work and announcing he is cancer free. I think that is saying alot--in that cancer is a very sneaky disease and can hide out in other places. No matter who you talk to there is someone in their life who is dealing with this horrible disease. It seems like it is getting to be epidemic. We had those dark days also, and it is scarey. And yet here my husband is after having part of his lung out in Oct of 05. I will be thinking of you both and be praying for you. Trust in "Him",  Barbara Wife Who Loves Fri, 03 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT You must be so tired and scared.  Do you have a church family or a Pastor you can talk to?  Any family members who are close?  I can't promise things will get better, but as time goes by you'll be able to deal with it more easily.  The initial weeks are difficult because everything is new and there is so much to think about.  I also want to encourage you to laugh and enjoy each other's company.  It probably doesn't seem possible right now to laugh at very much, but a happy attitude really helps in coping with things.Please e-mail me any time you want.  I promise to answer.  england45 Fri, 03 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/2/2007 marlene66 wrote:My husband has stage III lymphoma. Were newlyweds. Also new to cancer. I am constantly busy. I took a 3 month family medical leave and returned to work part time. Just enough hours to keep my med. insurance. I am trying so hard to hold things together but it gets harder and harder. I feel as if I am losing it if that makes sense. I am so overwheled and exhausted.  I don't tell him how I feel cause I don't want him to feel bad. It's not his fault. Theres no one for me to talk to. I feel alone I suppose. I know I'm not by reading your stories. I pray for everyone here and the ones who aren't.  Thank you for reading this.  This Is My Story About Surviving Cancer  I was 64 years old when this all began in August 2001. I had a slight cough, so I went to the doctor. I told the doctor this cough comes and goes. I was lucky that he told me to go for an X-ray, which I did. The X-ray came back and my doctor saw something on it but it wasn’t clear, so he told me to go for a Cat/Scan which I did. When the Cat/Scan came back it showed that I had a Tumor in the lower left lobe of my left lung.  He sent me to a pulmonary doctor to see if it was benign or cancerous, on 9/10/2001 a day before the World Trade Center disaster. I went to New York Downtown Hospital which is about four blocks from the World Trade Center.  On that day a bronchoscopy was done on me but I had to wait almost four weeks to get my results because everything was closed down in that area. When I finally got the results they were inconclusive. I went to a thoracic surgeon at New York University Hospital. He didn’t think it was cancer because I never smoked and I looked like I was in good shape. The tumor I had was in the lower left lobe which had to be removed. My surgeon took a biopsy of my lower left lobe during surgery and it came back malignant, He removed the lower left lobe and said he got all of the cancerous tumor, we had to wait two weeks for the pathology report and then found out it didn’t spread.  He said I would have to go for Cat/Scan for the next five year.  A year later I went for my first Cat/Scan and I was free of cancer.  I was supposed to go for my last Cat/Scan in Oct 2006.  In May 5th 2006 my wife and I went out to dinner and she noticed I wasn’t walking straight. I went to the doctor the next day and he said everything seemed alright. He told me if there is numbness in you hands go right to the emergency room. That night my left hand felt numb but I shook my hand and it was alright, I think I slept on it. I told my wife about it and she insisted that I go to the emergency room which we did. Thank God!  When I got to the emergency room I told them my symptoms and they took a Cat/Scan of my brain and found a 5cm tumor in the lower left cerebellum and a 2cm lesion in the front left lobe. A neurosurgeon was call and he told me I must be operated on immediately on the 5cm brain tumor. My surgeon said this metastasized to my brain came from my lung and it was in a good location. The operation took 8 hours and it was a success. He took the whole tumor out. He advised me to get external radiation, which I took for five weeks and I had no side effects from the radiation He said 90% it will never come back 10% it could come back. The good news if it did come back I could knock it out with Gamma Knife. Now the other good news is the 2cm lesion on the top of my brain could not be operated on because it was in a bad location. He used the Gamma Knife which collapses the tumor and that was also a success.  Then I went to my oncologist who recommended I take a Pet/Scan of my whole body which I did, the Pet/Scan showed an abnormality on my adrenal gland, I took another Pet/Scan and it show up again. My oncologist recommended I take it out, he said it could be cancer. I took his advice and had laparoscopic surgery. They took out the right adrenal gland and it was cancerous.  This metastasized from my lung then to my brain and then to my adrenal gland. Every three months I go for Pet/Scan for my whole body and MRI for my head and so far I am a Cancer Survivor. I won’t say I’m free of cancer because cancer can come back anytime. I don’t know why I’m here but I’m here. Somebody up there likes me. I think Positive, I have a great Family and Friends and they all prayed for me. Above all I have Faith. So everybody out there with cancer, think Positive and have Faith and God will watch over you God Bless You All! I would like to also add in closing this little extra information about myself.In August 2003 the day of the massive blackout on the entire east coast I was walking when I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath.I called my wife and she came to pick me up with my son-in-law and took me to the emergency room. After doing certain test, they said I was alrightI could go home. One of the doctors recommended I take another test. Which I did, I had to wait 8 hours for the results. After doing certain tests “Cardiac Enzymes” it was confirmed that I had a heart attack. They put me in the Cardiac Care Unit. They transferred me to N.Y.U. Medical Center. Where they gave me an angiogram, it showed that I had three blocked arteries.One was blocked 98%, one 60% and the other 40%, they did Angioplasty on both (the 98% and 60%) and inserted stents. I had to return a month later to have another angioplasty and had a stent inserted in the artery that was 40% blocked. Everything went well. Thank God! I AM A SURVIVOR! Danny124 Fri, 03 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT I know how you and your husband feel my mother had stomach cancer and ovarian cancer and end the end she lost her battle and pass away in 1983.so I when on with my life and then my sister had breast cancer and later it turn in to bone cancer we lost her in 2006.and then there was me I had breast in 2006 I found a month or so after my sister pass away but my dr. Said it was in the early stage.and he said he could go in and get it .so he did I was so happy. I hope everything turns out good for you and your husband.from sweetpea. BRIGHTPINK Fri, 03 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/2/2007 marlene66 wrote:My husband has stage III lymphoma. Were newlyweds. Also new to cancer. I am constantly busy. I took a 3 month family medical leave and returned to work part time. Just enough hours to keep my med. insurance. I am trying so hard to hold things together but it gets harder and harder. I feel as if I am losing it if that makes sense. I am so overwheled and exhausted.  I don't tell him how I feel cause I don't want him to feel bad. It's not his fault. Theres no one for me to talk to. I feel alone I suppose. I know I'm not by reading your stories. I pray for everyone here and the ones who aren't.  Thank you for reading this.Hi Marlene,I know how your feeling.  I went back to work as a nurse after taking off three years to help my husband with his company.  We had health insurance although very high deductible so I took my works insurance and it started 6/1/07.  I hadn' been for a physical in a couple years (yes I know to long) so I decided to go June 13th I think.  I had a positive guiac test so even though I'm not 50 yet the P.A. wanted me to go for a colonoscopy (thank the Lord).  I got the call 7/3/07 that it was positive for cancer.  I went through feeling like I was having an "out of body" experience, not me not the Cancer word, no way, to feeling hopeful, to depressed, to "I'm gonna die" .  All those emotions are completely normal and are exhausting.  I imagine your husband is probably feeling them also and probably doesn't want to upset you just like you don't want to upset him.  I know I keep a lot in because I have a 16 year old at home and don't want her to worry so much.  I know I'm going to beat my cancer it's early stage II and pretty curable (rectal) and I'm very positive at this point.  Just know that your not alone and this site is very good for venting.  There's a man on here that was going through pretty much the same things at the same time as me and I really like being able to vent to him.  Do the same, find a support here or a group where you live.  DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE!  If you believe in God lean on your faith.  I don't know what I would do without my church family.  I've always been kind of shy and standoffish and this has shown me how many people really care.  I'm getting so much closer to so many people and opening up more.  Things sometimes happen for a reason, try to find a positive one to focus on.I've decided most people seem to be getting cancer these days.  My personal believe is man has done this to themselves (not God as some seem to blame), to much processed foods, high fat diets, unhealthy living, genetics, cooking in teflon, hormones in foods.  Yikes, the list goes on and on.  I worry about all these really obese children and how young they are going to start getting sick.  Anway, this was kind of off the subject but I've just been thinking about it a lot.God Bless You and your husband!Terry  Snowmom60 Fri, 03 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT I have stage III S Hodgkins Lymphoma I am on my 9th treatment of ABVD and as of two weeks ago I am Cancer Free.  There is so much hope.  I have 3 more treatments left... You are so amazing, My husband has been just like you so supportive...  You are wonderful and so strong.  This is something that will put stress on your marriage now but your love will be so much greater when this is all done.  You keep your chin up and make sure you take time for yourself, go out with friends or family, except any help that is offered... God Bless you and feel free to contact me if you wish, I look at this site weekly.  Also if you have any questions feel free to ask! Lori Your Friend Fri, 03 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT I have been in your shoes, my husband age 26 was diagnosed in Nov of 06 but it was bone/soft tissue sarcoma and I lost him in March.The hardest thing in the world besided losing them is not knowing, and everyone will tell you god does things for a reason, I know this may be true but I also know that those words are not very comforting, all i can tell you honey is be strong, honest to your husband and yourself, and hold on tight to your faith.  Tell him everyday how much you love him and be there for him and remember cures are becoming available everyday, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, people from our church and our family is what helps me and the kids (age 9 & 5) everyday and knowing he will be waiting for me, that is all I have to look forward too! cancercrusader Sat, 04 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/2/2007 marlene66 wrote:My husband has stage III lymphoma. Were newlyweds. Also new to cancer. I am constantly busy. I took a 3 month family medical leave and returned to work part time. Just enough hours to keep my med. insurance. I am trying so hard to hold things together but it gets harder and harder. I feel as if I am losing it if that makes sense. I am so overwheled and exhausted.  I don't tell him how I feel cause I don't want him to feel bad. It's not his fault. Theres no one for me to talk to. I feel alone I suppose. I know I'm not by reading your stories. I pray for everyone here and the ones who aren't.  Thank you for reading this.So sad to hear about your husband.  Mine has Stage 4 GBM brain cancer.  We have been married 34 years; it's so tragic at any age.  The mortgage company is going to foreclose on our house since I can't afford the payments (my husband hasn't worked since Sept 06).  My whole life has been ruined by cancer.  If you can find a therapist who is trained to help cancer families, it would be the best.  I have a therapist who keeps me focused and is a great help.  Friends don't know what to say or do and after a while, they stop calling.  We are too uncomfortable for them and their carefree lives.  I have to stop myself from feeling so angry and bitter about all of this; somedays are better than others.  Take each day at a time and try to do some fun things for yourself (I go to concerts).  Here's a hug from me!  Barb Hotflash Sat, 04 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT Please do not feel as though you cannot talk to your husband. My wife made the same mistake and ended up having an extramarital affair. Your husband is there to talk to regardless of his health hun.. Harleyman123 Sat, 04 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT Dear Marlene:My prayers are with you and your husband.  I do hope you get responses from your note.  I myself battled cancer for 8 years and am now cancer free for 2 years headed on three.  Being a R.N. I was very involved with my treatment and chose different methods of treating my cancer and had a very wise cancer M.D.You yourself need to greive and cry because this is happening to you also.  Where you feel you need to hold things togeather I do hope your husband is involved and doing research into his type of cancer.  Its up to him to hold things togeather also for its his body and the educated he is the better things sometimes turn out.   Feel free to contact me I will do what I can for you even share my treatment methods if you'd like.Take care and God BlessJoyceOn 8/2/2007 marlene66 wrote:My husband has stage III lymphoma. Were newlyweds. Also new to cancer. I am constantly busy. I took a 3 month family medical leave and returned to work part time. Just enough hours to keep my med. insurance. I am trying so hard to hold things together but it gets harder and harder. I feel as if I am losing it if that makes sense. I am so overwheled and exhausted.  I don't tell him how I feel cause I don't want him to feel bad. It's not his fault. Theres no one for me to talk to. I feel alone I suppose. I know I'm not by reading your stories. I pray for everyone here and the ones who aren't.  Thank you for reading this.  Joycet50 Sat, 04 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/2/2007 Tracys Sis wrote:I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I don't know much about the type of cancer that he has but cancer has been in my family for a long time. It has personally affected my mother, sister, grandmother, grandfather, and some aunts. On the 10th of august i have to go see a surgeon to set up a biopsy on my left breast. My mammo showed a 2.3 cm. lesion. I'm very scared! I'm just 34, will be 35 on the 27th, and breast cancer runs very strong in my family, including my mother. And my 25yr. old sister died 2 yrs ago of ovarian cancer. The doctors tell me that breast and ovarian cancer are linked. So i'm very high risk. Anyway, i know how you must be feeling. I think i've been through all of the emotions you could possibly go through in a  lifetime. I'm here if you need to talk.                                                                Your Friend,                                                                 Tracy's SisHi there, please try a product called Glyconutrients available from a company in Dallas Texas, USA, called Mannotech... it is reported as being the one thing most of us with degenerating illness need - it puts back into the body the 8 essential sugars our bodies are missing as a result of the way our foods have been processed. These 8 essential sugars work in the human system around each individual cell as messengers.... relaying to other cells, including the ones that fight cancer, everything they need to know... if one of these essential sugars are missing, the cell cannot communicute and thereby cannot ask for help, cannot receive help... they remain isolated and as you can imagine... are the perfect place for an isidious illness to develop...help your body heal itself by using this product... it might seem a little expensive, but today the conventional cancer methods are by no means cheap.... I am not an agent, I am a cancer patient myself with a host of complications... but am fighting cancer the natural way... logic tells me, if my lifestyle and what I allow into my body's system, by way of eating, medication etc ( I have been on anti-epileptic medication for 40years!) has resulted in severe chemical sensitivities, allergies, and finally cancer, then, its up to me to try, through nutrition, detoxing,etc to change my internal environment, and give my body a fighting chance... If lack of one of the essential sugars is a major contirbuting factor, or lack of digestive enzymes, or lack of oxygen, or the pH level is too acidic (perfect for cancer reproduction), then its up to me to change this and help my body restore its natural balance....The Medical Journals for teaching have been recently re-written to include a chapter on these 8 essential sugars and the first doctors tohave studied this aspect of nutrition graduated in the year 2002... so medical science will eventually catch up with the scientists and doctors who have done the research into Glyconutrients... but for the rest of us struggling with illnesses... we need to pass on the information by word of mouth...We have been wonderfully made....all thanks to our creator.... Unfortunately we live in a world no longer able to keep us healthy... but our creator has put into action his own schedule for fixing things up.... in the meantime, each one of us out of appreciation for the life he has given us, can do our own small bit to help ourselves and to help others.... please find the internet site on Glyconutrients and read up on the success others with life threatening illnesses, are having while taking this product... Kindest regards to you for your well being... may Jehovah God bless all your efforts and take note of any praise you offer on his behalf as you and many others seek to comfort fellow beings in their adversity....LeeLee2 Lee sa Mon, 06 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/2/2007 marlene66 wrote:My husband has stage III lymphoma. Were newlyweds. Also new to cancer. I am constantly busy. I took a 3 month family medical leave and returned to work part time. Just enough hours to keep my med. insurance. I am trying so hard to hold things together but it gets harder and harder. I feel as if I am losing it if that makes sense. I am so overwheled and exhausted.  I don't tell him how I feel cause I don't want him to feel bad. It's not his fault. Theres no one for me to talk to. I feel alone I suppose. I know I'm not by reading your stories. I pray for everyone here and the ones who aren't.  Thank you for reading this.Stay positive.  Evrything will work out fine.  My 26 year old son has Papalary kidney cancer.  He had his right kidney and adrenal gland removeed in Feb 07.  He had a second surgery July 07 to remove his L2 lunbar and to install titanium bracing in his spine.  He is recovering fine.  He's been maried to a wonderful woman since Nov 2003.  He has two small boys (1 1/2 and 3 yres).  His wife in convinced tha he will be ok.  She has an amazing faith.  Our priest also gives us inperation.  My wife and I also beleive that he is going to be OK.   You see, my wife is a two time cancer survivor. (Beast).  Last time she was diagnosed, we were told that she has it in her bones. She was given 6 months.  She's on her fifth year.  There is no one more positive in this world.  She is on an oral chemo(Fumara).  Her pholosophy is to live with cancer.  Not to fight it.  She says we all have it.So you see,  Is all about  mental state,  your faith in God and faith in your Doctors.  It is important that you have positive freinds and family around you and your husband.     Keep your husband positive.  He's going to be OK!    FXMAD Mon, 06 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT prayer girl call me if you want to talk asper45 Tue, 07 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT You didn't say what grade his lymphoma is or what type of lymphoma he has.  Is he being treated?  If you tell us more we can be more supportive and suggest where you can get more information and support.  There are email lists for patients and their caregivers which would be very helpful to you--but I'd need to know more about his diagnosis and treatment to steer you to one of them.Please hang in there!  hugs, Carol L lymph Thu, 09 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT What a wonderful note.  I welcome it and Thank You.. reama Thu, 09 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT You didn't say what grade his lymphoma is or what type of lymphoma he has.  Is he being treated?  There are email lists for patients and their caregivers which would be very helpful.Please hang in there!  lymph Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/7/2007 asper45 wrote:prayer girl call me if you want to talk who is this??? Joycet50 Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/10/2007 Joycet50 wrote: On 8/7/2007 asper45 wrote:prayer girl call me if you want to talk who is this???  Sheila5 Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/2/2007 marlene66 wrote:My husband has stage III lymphoma. Were newlyweds. Also new to cancer. I am constantly busy. I took a 3 month family medical leave and returned to work part time. Just enough hours to keep my med. insurance. I am trying so hard to hold things together but it gets harder and harder. I feel as if I am losing it if that makes sense. I am so overwheled and exhausted.  I don't tell him how I feel cause I don't want him to feel bad. It's not his fault. Theres no one for me to talk to. I feel alone I suppose. I know I'm not by reading your stories. I pray for everyone here and the ones who aren't.  Thank you for reading this.Hi Marlene, My husband and I will celebrate our 25 th wedding anniversary this September.  The day after our youngest son's graduation party July 15 th we had to take him to the hosptial.  He has been diagnosed with Grade 4 Lymphomic brain tumor.  He has started his treatment.  In patient hopsitalization to administer the Methotrexate medicine.  He goes in again for another treatment next week.I too share your same thoughts of being overwhelmed.  We have a family business with our 3 children.  I have to work it is our livelihood and we pay our own very expensive health insurance plus deductibles and copays.I am John's loving private nurse.  I get so annoyed at people who complain because they feel overwhelmed when they have nothing close to what you and I are dealing with.These thoughts that we share are normal thoughts.I vent to close friends and have a great support group of friends from a German club we belong to and from our church.  I hope you have friends to talk to.  That really helps. We have hope and truly believe that after his year of treatment he is going to be cancer free.   I know it sounds awful, but you will look back at this and you will find something positive about what has happened.   John and I talk about his cancer.  YOU HAVE TO.  He probably needs to talk to you and tell you how much he loves you and tell you what his thoughts are.  YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM.  This is what is going to get you through this.  This event is going to make you both stronger people.  God knows what he is doing.  Believe me he won't give you more than you can handle.I hope you open up to each other - YOU HAVE TO. Stay positive - God Loves you and He will take care of you both. Sheila5 Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT