CancerCompass message board discussion started by melanoma mom on 8/18/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,15411,0.htm Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ I hope someone who reads this can help me with many questions. My son Jason died July 22, 2007 Melanoma.  It ravished his entire body and then went to his brain. He had a spot on his scalp from what I understand for years.  He was into bodybuilding.  He did competitions.  I think now this in not confirmed, he went into tanning beds.   He was always tanned. He lived in the sun as a teen, in college (went to C.U. in Boulder, CO.) skied and in his early 30ties got into muscle building and competitions. His name was Jason E. Cohen.  You can google his webpage and see his muscle body and tan. By the time his melanoma was discovered, it had gone to his liver, stomach and lung.  In April it had metasticised to his brain.  Boy did he suffer.   Could this be a prescription for disaster? He knew he had a spot on his skull for years but did nothing about it. Tell me about The combination of melanoma on his skull plus tanning beads.He was diagnosed Dec. 2005 with melanoma on soft organ tissues. He died July 22, 2007.Now I am a four time cancer survivor.  I had Adenoid Cystic Carcenoma of the breast.  I am six years clean of cancer.   I was given radiation in 1999 and when my cancer came back, I went to DUKE Medical Center and they said I did not need radiation.  I needed a simple mastectomy which I had in 2002.   I've been cancer free. I just do not understand doctors. I need a support group to deal with my son's death and the fighting that went on prior to his death with my ex husband, the doctor, who tried to deny me the honor of seeing my son prior to his death.  My son and I were estranged for five years as I did not approve of his bodybuilding steroid use.   Jason was a lawyer.   Also, my ex husband Dr. Edward R. Cohen had me arrested for trespassing two days prior to my son's death. I went to Jason's house to see him and my ex called the police .  I was in jail for eight hours.   So not only am I suffering from my son's death (39) I have to deal with the anguish of not seeing him before his death.  How can this man be a physician?  He always used my son as a pawn when we got divorced and contiued using him vs. me until his death.   So I am dealing with a lot of emotions. Please help me and try to answer my questions.   Thank you Carolyn S. melanoma mom Sat, 18 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT Carolynn,  Your story pains me.  I am so sorry to hear about your son's death from this disease.  My sister lost her fiance to melanoma so I understand the nature of this beast.  Sun and tanning exposure could very well and most likely played a role in your son's developement of melanoma (I work for a derm).  I don't understand why your husband, who you say is a doctor, if he was aware of this lesion on his scalp did not scare him off to a dermatologist.  But of course I have two daughters in their 20's & 30's and I have been harping on them to watch for anything and make sure they keep there annual appointments and stay out the sun but do they listen??  We can only do so much.  But the posture your husband took when you son was ill is unforgiveable.  Please seek counseling.  He'll have to live with his action and I assure you one day it will come back to haunt him.  My blessings go out to you.  Stay strong! Leemg Thu, 23 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT Thank you all for your love and support re:my son Jason's melanoma   melanoma mom Thu, 23 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT My deepest of sympathy.My concerns are twofold.One, with your ex husband being a lawyer, I think it may be in your best interest to remove his name and all the negative comments regarding him. He could retailiate legally and I don't think you want that.My second is that you need help, and you need it quickly.  Even in th "best" of situations (if there is EVER a "best"), when it comes to losing a child, the pain and anguish is simply to much to bear, but as you have been through so much as well, counseling, and possibly medication will help you through this most difficult time.  See a medical doctor first, and have Him?Her help you through this process.You have my prayers.Beth Njtwinmom Thu, 23 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT CORRECTION, I MEANT TO SAY, YOUR EX IS A DOCTOR.MY ERROR. Njtwinmom Thu, 23 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/18/2007 melanoma mom wrote:I hope someone who reads this can help me with many questions. My son Jason died July 22, 2007 Melanoma.  It ravished his entire body and then went to his brain. He had a spot on his scalp from what I understand for years.  He was into bodybuilding.  He did competitions.  I think now this in not confirmed, he went into tanning beds.   He was always tanned. He lived in the sun as a teen, in college (went to C.U. in Boulder, CO.) skied and in his early 30ties got into muscle building and competitions. His name was Jason E. Cohen.  You can google his webpage and see his muscle body and tan. By the time his melanoma was discovered, it had gone to his liver, stomach and lung.  In April it had metasticised to his brain.  Boy did he suffer.   Could this be a prescription for disaster? He knew he had a spot on his skull for years but did nothing about it. Tell me about The combination of melanoma on his skull plus tanning beads.He was diagnosed Dec. 2005 with melanoma on soft organ tissues. He died July 22, 2007.Now I am a four time cancer survivor.  I had Adenoid Cystic Carcenoma of the breast.  I am six years clean of cancer.   I was given radiation in 1999 and when my cancer came back, I went to DUKE Medical Center and they said I did not need radiation.  I needed a simple mastectomy which I had in 2002.   I've been cancer free. I just do not understand doctors. I need a support group to deal with my son's death and the fighting that went on prior to his death with my ex husband, the doctor, who tried to deny me the honor of seeing my son prior to his death.  My son and I were estranged for five years as I did not approve of his bodybuilding steroid use.   Jason was a lawyer.   Also, my ex husband Dr. Edward R. Cohen had me arrested for trespassing two days prior to my son's death. I went to Jason's house to see him and my ex called the police .  I was in jail for eight hours.   So not only am I suffering from my son's death (39) I have to deal with the anguish of not seeing him before his death.  How can this man be a physician?  He always used my son as a pawn when we got divorced and contiued using him vs. me until his death.   So I am dealing with a lot of emotions. Please help me and try to answer my questions.   Thank you Carolyn S.Dear Carolyn:I am writing to express my sadness at your son's passing.  Although 14 years have passed since our graduation, I remember Jason as a bright young man at Capital University Law School.  He was also personable, kind, and thoughtful to his professors and classmates.  I believe that he was not into body-building from August 1990 to May 1993.  At least, I don't recall him ever mentioning it during those years.To be honest, I did not keep in touch with Jason after graduation.  I moved to Oregon where there are few alumni from Capital.  In fact, I believe that I am the only one here.  Most of our class remained in the East to practice law in their home states.I do, however, have some personal connection with your feelings.  My uncle who was like a father to me, and my mother passed away from brain cancer in 2002 and 2005 respectively.  I was somewhat estranged from my mother, but we did communicate regularly by phone and mail until she died in August 2005.I am also not a stranger to health issues.  I was diagnosed with diabetes type II in early 2000, and now take regular insulin shots.I came across the note regarding Jason's passing in the Class Actions section of Capital Briefs, and wanted to express my condolences.  Consequently, I did some research on the internet, and found this posting from you.Based on hard experience, I know that words do not erase pain caused by the loss of a loved one.  Frankly, it only becomes manageable through time.  Please know that I share your grief.  Jason was a fine man.Kind Regards,Bruce A. Bornholdt, L'93 (Capital University Law School)                       brubor Mon, 10 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT