CancerCompass message board discussion started by ronnaj1 on 9/14/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,16188,0.htm Mon, 13 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT Mon, 13 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ My Dad has been suffering terrible pain for weeks, heartbreaking to watch. He previously had 2 operations for enlarged prostate which were unsuccesful as he needed a permanent catheter. to cut a long story short after 3 long weeks in hospital we have now been told he only has 2 months to live. The cancer is secondry in the liver and they say they can't be sure of the primary source. They say it is too far advanced for treatment but I just can't accept that. Is it often worth getting a second opinion not really to dispute the diagnosis but  to see if anything can be done to help him and hopefully extend his life providing his quality of life is going to be reasonable?Also can anyone help me with trying to cope with a very emotional Dad who is worrying himself about leaving us? What do I say to him to try and make things better or do I encourage him to let his emotions out. I'm struggling to to watch my dad, who I love dearly, cry his eys out. Thanks for reading my message and I look forward to any replys, they will be gratefully received. Ronnaj1 ronnaj1 Fri, 14 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT Hi Ronnaj1,I just found out last Thursday that my father has uncurable or terminal cancer too.  I am stunned and thinking the same thing. I was the one who took him in the ER on the weekend before and I thought he had just a stomache ache.  It ends ups not to be in his colon but started outside and spread to his liver, pancreas,  lymps and possibly the stomach.  He just had surgery to have a portion of his colon removed.  We are meeting with pathology and the onconologist tomorrow or Tuesday.  I started out hopeful that they would be able to treat it but once they went in it's a Stage 4 and we are not sure what to do ? I don't know what to say.  I am so sad.  He looks so tired and depressed all the sudden.  It was quite a shock.  He's healing from the surgery.  We are not sure how long he has had it.  Nothing ever showed up on his test.  I am so scared.  My mother is devastated. I want to be able to stay hopeful but I am not sure what is going to happen.I am here to get some information and trying to grasp for something.I hope we can stay in touch.  My prayers go out to you and your family. Lisa lizam1968 Mon, 17 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT HI Ronnaj1 and Lisa, I am so sorry to hear about both of your fathers.  We lost my father on 3/31 due to lung cancer that spread to the liver and a primary liver cancer in the same mass on the liver.  We found out my Dad had Lung Cancer in Dec. 05 and he went through all the chemo and radiation and did very well, until Nov. of 06.  All of a sudden he was having trouble with his short term memory, we were so afraid that the cancer went to the brain, they did a bunch of tests on the brain and found nothing.  However, during this time my Dad went in for a physical with a new primary Dr. and the liver test came back bad,  so they did further testing on that with the Oncologist. He also went to a nuerologist during this and they just chalked the memory loss to "the body's way of dealing with having cancer in it" and put him on memory loss meds, which helped.  We had our Dad back!  Long story short, he had 2 types of cancer in the liver, Lung Cancer that spread and a primary liver cancer.  The Oncologist said he had never seen anything like this before and sent the results back to the mayo clinic to have then recheck their findings and needless to say they came back with the same findings.  The Oncologist was more concerned with the lung cancer that spread to the liver then the primary liver cancer.  I actually just found out that when the cancer spreads from another area it is automatically labeled as stage 4, the Oncologist did not tell us, he told us that he thought this was all treatable.  Anyway, when we found out about the liver cancer, my sister and I started doing research and anything you read with liver cancer does not give you hope. We had a special Christmas and spent a lot of time with him preparing ourselves for the worst, my Dad turned 60 this past January 25th.The Chemo really took a tole on my Dad, became very week after the 2nd or 3rd round of chemo and ended up in the hospital March 22nd (my brothers birthday), they told him they were going to keep him in for 3 to 5 days just to see what was going on and to get his strength back.  My Dad , whom I also was very close with, went home to the Lord on March 22.  I miss him so much.If there is anything that I can do for the 2 of you to help with whatever I can please let me know.  My heart hurts for your fathers, you and your family.Amy J.        Amy j Wed, 19 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 9/17/2007 lizam1968 wrote:Hi Ronnaj1,I just found out last Thursday that my father has uncurable or terminal cancer too.  I am stunned and thinking the same thing. I was the one who took him in the ER on the weekend before and I thought he had just a stomache ache.  It ends ups not to be in his colon but started outside and spread to his liver, pancreas,  lymps and possibly the stomach.  He just had surgery to have a portion of his colon removed.  We are meeting with pathology and the onconologist tomorrow or Tuesday.  I started out hopeful that they would be able to treat it but once they went in it's a Stage 4 and we are not sure what to do ? I don't know what to say.  I am so sad.  He looks so tired and depressed all the sudden.  It was quite a shock.  He's healing from the surgery.  We are not sure how long he has had it.  Nothing ever showed up on his test.  I am so scared.  My mother is devastated. I want to be able to stay hopeful but I am not sure what is going to happen.I am here to get some information and trying to grasp for something.I hope we can stay in touch.  My prayers go out to you and your family. Lisa Hi Lisa, How are things? I'm sorry I haven't been in touch I've been finding things difficult to talk about.My dad has now reached a stage where he is lying in bed unable to do much. He is very weak and thin and says he just wants it all over. He's very clingy towards me, I think it's fear. I just wish I new how long it is going to take. He's also very confused which I presume is all part of this disease.Ican't understand why this didn't show up in earlier tests. To be a dying man to me means he must have had this a long time and they failed to find it. I know we all try to blame someone but I can't help feeling that this is someones fault.I'm sorry I can't help you with your problems or answer any questions for you, but I just need to tell someone how I feel, I hope you don't mind.Speak to you againg soon Helen  ronnaj1 Fri, 19 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT l am 66 years old and had hepatacellular carcinoma primary liver cancer removed from my liver in March. The surgeon said he got it all and I did not need chemo or radiation. It is very important that you seek medical help from an institution that specializes in liver cancer. Local hopitals really don't have a clue about primary liver cancer. You need to be where they have a hepatology dept. I went to Mayo in Rochester, MN. The Cleveland Clinic is also very good. Her chances will increase dramatically if you get her some knowledgeable treatment.  points00 Wed, 31 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 9/14/2007 ronnaj1 wrote:My Dad has been suffering terrible pain for weeks, heartbreaking to watch. He previously had 2 operations for enlarged prostate which were unsuccesful as he needed a permanent catheter. to cut a long story short after 3 long weeks in hospital we have now been told he only has 2 months to live. The cancer is secondry in the liver and they say they can't be sure of the primary source. They say it is too far advanced for treatment but I just can't accept that. Is it often worth getting a second opinion not really to dispute the diagnosis but  to see if anything can be done to help him and hopefully extend his life providing his quality of life is going to be reasonable?Also can anyone help me with trying to cope with a very emotional Dad who is worrying himself about leaving us? What do I say to him to try and make things better or do I encourage him to let his emotions out. I'm struggling to to watch my dad, who I love dearly, cry his eys out. Thanks for reading my message and I look forward to any replys, they will be gratefully received. Ronnaj1So Sorry to hear your sad news,My father has been diagnosed with secondry liver cancer which has possible come from colectoral cancer (but not conclusive).My father is trying to be brave for everyone but the other day I made him a large picture board with lots of photographs of family and friends on it.  It is the first time he had cried.  I was heartbroken myself seeing him break down.  I know exactly how you feel .The only thing I would suggest  is making sure they concentrate on themselves .  Hope you don't mind me asking but how is your Father now?A good thing to help them feel as calm as possible is meditation c.d's. My father has always been fit and able and always on the go so it has been a miracle to see him quite relaxed listening to his meditation music.Does your Father suffer dizzy spells?I think it is best to cry as much as possible but I understand how you must feel seeing your Dad cry.I have sought a second opinion for my Father but fear it will come too late.You take care Regards Gail (England) GailEngland Sun, 18 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 11/18/2007 Gaily wrote: On 9/14/2007 ronnaj1 wrote:My Dad has been suffering terrible pain for weeks, heartbreaking to watch. He previously had 2 operations for enlarged prostate which were unsuccesful as he needed a permanent catheter. to cut a long story short after 3 long weeks in hospital we have now been told he only has 2 months to live. The cancer is secondry in the liver and they say they can't be sure of the primary source. They say it is too far advanced for treatment but I just can't accept that. Is it often worth getting a second opinion not really to dispute the diagnosis but  to see if anything can be done to help him and hopefully extend his life providing his quality of life is going to be reasonable?Also can anyone help me with trying to cope with a very emotional Dad who is worrying himself about leaving us? What do I say to him to try and make things better or do I encourage him to let his emotions out. I'm struggling to to watch my dad, who I love dearly, cry his eys out. Thanks for reading my message and I look forward to any replys, they will be gratefully received. Ronnaj1So Sorry to hear your sad news,My father has been diagnosed with secondry liver cancer which has possible come from colectoral cancer (but not conclusive).My father is trying to be brave for everyone but the other day I made him a large picture board with lots of photographs of family and friends on it.  It is the first time he had cried.  I was heartbroken myself seeing him break down.  I know exactly how you feel .The only thing I would suggest  is making sure they concentrate on themselves .  Hope you don't mind me asking but how is your Father now?A good thing to help them feel as calm as possible is meditation c.d's. My father has always been fit and able and always on the go so it has been a miracle to see him quite relaxed listening to his meditation music.Does your Father suffer dizzy spells?I think it is best to cry as much as possible but I understand how you must feel seeing your Dad cry.I have sought a second opinion for my Father but fear it will come too late.You take care Regards Gail (England) Hi Gail,Sorry it has taken me so long to reply. My dad died on November 29th and I haven't been able to entre the site until now. We never got to get a second opinion for dad because he became too weak, the trouble is I can't help blaming myself. I wish I could have done more. How are things with you?RegardsRonnaj1 (Helen from Wales) ronnaj1 Sat, 29 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am so sorry to hear about your dad, I lost mum 7 years ago to breast cancer and the day after gave birth to my first daughter.  My dad has now been diagonosed with advanced small cell lung cancer which as spead to his liver, skin and lymph.   I know exactly what you are going through my mum had a very short fight of just 5 months and was very ill and weak through the whole thing.  People never seam to know what to say when you have lost anyone close but all I can say is that he will be watching and he will still be there part of your lives.  I feel mum with me all the time and just the other day infact the day dad was home from his chemo he was resting and suddendley felt a hand on his sholder and a kiss on his forehead and noboy was in and dad says it was mum kissing him good night.  So be rest assured that you dad is not far away watching over the family. My thoughts are with your family at this very sad time. Siobhan Siobhan1 Sat, 29 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT