CancerCompass message board discussion started by daddysgirl on 9/19/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,16300,0.htm Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ My Dad was diagnosed 2 months ago, and only given approximately 3 months to live.  Here we are, in month 3, and my dad has now been hospitalized, since his pain level could no longer be managed at home.  I'm completely consumed by this, and finding it very difficult to cope.  I've told my boss of my situation, and he's been very understanding.  He's been allowing me to take time when I need to, as well as turning a blind eye when I leave a little early to go visit my dad in the hospital.  I also often arrive late, as sleeping now seems a thing of the past.  My concern here is my coworkers.  Many of them do not know why my schedule seems so non-committal, and why my boss seems so lenient with me.  I can't help but feel that they are beginning to resent these things, as a few of them are starting to make snyde remarks.  I am the only girl in my department, and my attendance at work truly affects no one else, as I am actually my own department.  This means that when I am not here, my coworkers are not ANY busier, nor do any of them have to do my work.  I've discussed this with my boss, who insists that I need to do what's right for me, and that I'm not obligated to answer to anyone but him.  It's hard for me to talk about my dad's condition without getting very emotional (keep in mind, my coworkers are all men) as well, I feel like this is somewhat private.  Do I tell them, so that they will lay off the commentary, and risk guilting them all (which I don't think is necessary), or do I suck up the frustration I feel when remarks are made?  Does anyone else out there have trouble functioning at work?  This is all still quite new to me, and I'm sure it will get easier, but when?Kylie daddysgirl Wed, 19 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT Kylie,I am sorry to hear about your dad. Since your boss already knows about the situation, perhaps he just needs your permission to discreetly inform your co-workers of your situation. Maybe you should approach him and discuss this. I would think that he could share this information with tact and your fellow workers would lose their possible resentment.Good luck and God Bless. MrsAl Wed, 07 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT Kylie's suggestion is great. Your boss could be very helpful with this situation. But, no matter what your co-workers say or do, please do not let it make any difference. Take the time you need to be with your Dad. I lost my mom several years ago to cancer, and tried to keep up with a job and family. . . and I didn't give her the time that I now wish I had. If I could turn back the clock, co-workers, job, nothing would have taken me from her side. I am now going through this all over again with my husband's cancer. I'm still working, but second time around, I know what is MOST important in life. Please. . if you have to just ignore your co-workers, and take care of what really matters. God bless you and keep you. JD BubbaW Sun, 11 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT