CancerCompass message board discussion started by Cookiemouse on 9/20/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,16328,0.htm Fri, 05 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT Fri, 05 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ Hi, I have written on several boards before about a variety of issues.  One issue that I haven't addressed is the following:My mother is currently going through stage 4 colon cancer, has been through 4-5 lines of chemo and currently we are at a halt.  We are trying to research different options. The issue is:  my father...he is ill himself with a neurological impairment and gets very irritated and irrational with paranoia, yells and screams alot for no apparent reason.  My mother, who should be getting emotional support from him, is on pins and needles...she tries to ignore his outbursts, but it is hard for anyone, especially for her.  He has been a difficult person always, but his disease is exaggerating the negative aspects of his personality.  I have spoken to my mother about him seeing a psychiatrist and possibly medicating him to improve his mood (I don't think that his agitation is very healthy for him as well)...she keeps saying she will do it....How can we address this issue with what is good and healthy for both parents?  She has struggled so much and I want this time to be more emotionally and psychologically easier for her...she is one of those people who always do for others and keeps things internally...I want her to have some quality to her life with a partner who empathizes with her and shows love and support to her in these difficult times. Thank you for any suggestions.  Elaina Cookiemouse Thu, 20 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 9/20/2007 Cookiemouse wrote:Hi, I have written on several boards before about a variety of issues.  One issue that I haven't addressed is the following:My mother is currently going through stage 4 colon cancer, has been through 4-5 lines of chemo and currently we are at a halt.  We are trying to research different options. The issue is:  my father...he is ill himself with a neurological impairment and gets very irritated and irrational with paranoia, yells and screams alot for no apparent reason.  My mother, who should be getting emotional support from him, is on pins and needles...she tries to ignore his outbursts, but it is hard for anyone, especially for her.  He has been a difficult person always, but his disease is exaggerating the negative aspects of his personality.  I have spoken to my mother about him seeing a psychiatrist and possibly medicating him to improve his mood (I don't think that his agitation is very healthy for him as well)...she keeps saying she will do it....How can we address this issue with what is good and healthy for both parents?  She has struggled so much and I want this time to be more emotionally and psychologically easier for her...she is one of those people who always do for others and keeps things internally...I want her to have some quality to her life with a partner who empathizes with her and shows love and support to her in these difficult times. Thank you for any suggestions.  Elaina Maybe you can have a talk with your fathers PCP or GP so that an antidepressant or mild tranquilizer can be prescribed as part of his treatment plan.  I am a mental health professional and I know that irritability and even anger can be a symptom of underlying depression, especially in males.  His MD may have a way of talking to him so that he takes it.  I've seen this work wonders but it takes about three weeks to a month to take effect.  I got my fatheri-in-law and my Dad to take (quit an undertaking believe me-they were both from the "old school") but it definitely worked.  Just a suggestion.  I hope it helps.Donna Withgrace Sat, 22 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT Thanks, I will follow your suggestion, make an appt and have him speak to the doctor.  Hopefully, it will make sense to him and he will see the benefits.  All the best, Elaina Cookiemouse Tue, 25 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT I was never big on anti-depressants but when my mom was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer I saw a change.  I cannot imagine what you and your family are going through with everything!  I have seen a big change in my mom since she started taking them.  She tells me that she doesn't believe in them and would be fine without them but does it for me and my dad.  I see a big help with them! Naunie Tue, 22 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT