CancerCompass message board discussion started by 8chalupa on 9/28/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,16622,0.htm Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ My Mother was diagnosed with non hodgkins lymphoma of the stomach in May.  I immediately quit my job and moved in with her. For whatever reason, they did not operate.  She did 8 treatments of Rituxan (which the cancer did not respond well to) then 24 radiation treatments which ended this week.  She is a young 81.  However, she is very weak, sleeps all day, eats very little solid food, and drinks about 3 Boosts a day.  She is despondent and gazes into space.  I find the only time I can get a response from her is when I'm upset with her (which breaks my heart).   None of the doctors have ever staged her cancer?  I keep asking, but noone seems to know.  My fear is that if the radiation has not taken care of the cancer she will not be able to do chemo because she will not be strong enough, then what?   I am fighting my behind off for her and I actually get angry with her for not fighting (of which I have much guilt).  Every hour and a half I make her drink 1/2  a Boost.  I can only get about 3 in her a day.   The doctors won't put her on IV for nutrition?  I'm so confused and don't know what else I can do. I would deeply appreciate any suggestions, guess I'm just plain scared.Thanks    8chalupa Fri, 28 Sep 2007 00:00:00 GMT i know what you mean. There's nothing wrong with fighting for her. If your doctors aren't doing what you need seek a second third fourth opinion if you have to. And if you don't know why they're not doing something than ask them, demand an answer. You have a right to know as her primary caregiver. goofpuff Mon, 01 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT btw I also understand your anger and guilt over your mom not seeming to want to fight like you. Just remember that she is in pain and depressed which can make anyone want to quit. Don't stop fighting for her. She needs you. goofpuff Mon, 01 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT Thank you so much for your response.  You're absolutely right and your response couldn't have happened on a better day.  I had a meeting with Hospice?  Even though no doctor has said that she is terminal.  I've decided to not accept the care at this time but it was eye opening.  Sometimes I think we all forget how strong we really are.   Thanks again. 8chalupa Mon, 01 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT Thanks for the support, I'm trying every way I know how.  8chalupa Tue, 02 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT I was told that I have stomach cancer in 10/19/07 they open me up but they said they could not do surgey because it had spread but after I heard they couldn't remove it I really didn't know what to think I had alot of thoughts about it being the end for me but then I started thinking this decision don't affect me but my family to so when I seen them fighting as hard as they could for me the least I could do is put up a fight to. So you fighting for her is the right thing even though she might not see it right now. You hang in there and keep fighting and let her know she has people that love her and that she has reasons to fight for for life. You are doing the right thing be strong and I wish her the best and I pray that her and you continue to have the strenght to keep fighting.Best wishes  Tracy37 Sun, 25 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT