CancerCompass message board discussion started by pfg777 on 10/13/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,17051,0.htm Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ My wife and I  planned on taking care of my grandmother (89) until she passed away, but it got too much for us too handle.  We also take care of her daughter (63) which has cebral palsey.  We had to put my grandmother in a nursing home 9/25/2007, and the sad thing about it the same day she was admitted into the hospital, her son (61) (my dad) passed away the same day.  We are not sure how he passed, but we are waiting for the death certificate to see the cause of death.  Unfortunately, we have not spoke to my father since Summer 2000.  My father was stealing my grandmother's money and wrecking her cars, so I had to move in with my aunt and my grandmother to boot him out and help them have a real life, instead of some real life nightmare.  I hate the fact that i had to get police to evict him, but he treated them wrong.  But anyway, my grandmother was admitted into the hospital 10/11/2007 for respitory distress.  She also has diabetes real bad and congestive heart failure.  She is dying slowly, and i hate to see it.  I try to stay wit her all night, but it is too hard.  Se is like a mom to me other than my real mother.  She took care of me while my mom worked long hours at night as a engineer. She is to the point now to where she is breathing really fast and jerking in bed a lot.  She was able to respond yesterday, but tonight she was awful.  sucks to see it.  I have already told her that she is going to be safe in Jesus's hand to just let go and relax.  She is still fighting it though.  I called in my cousin (minister), and he prayed with her and told her "go be with your husband and son"  Last night she kept crying out "Jesus, help me".  i was so sad, that i almost passed out.  it is hard to hear her, because they have a big oxygen mask on her helping her breathe.  Today when we went it, the only person she could recognize was my daughter.  She said "there is my great grand baby".  She doesn't remember me, but that is okay, because i know she is ill.  My grandfather died of colon cancer, and also had a bad case of Alzheimer, so i am used to it.  Well, i got in a big argument with the nurse and the head nurse, because my grandma kept saying "help me please"  "it hurts".  it is hard to hear her through the mask, but i heard enough to make my heart jump and feel dizzy.  I hate to see her go, but i also hate to see her go slowly.  I wish her peace, and for her suffering to be over.  and at the same time, i am fighting the department of human services to pay for her long term care for the nursing home.  But if she passes this weekend, then we won't have to wealthy the payments.  Every time i go to see her, i go in a daze and remember all the good times we had.  she was very involved in church, and she was always our homeroom mother in grade school.  Her and my grandfather dedicated their time to family, the church, and also tutoring people that could not read.  They will be missed.  Every were she goes he is loved, she is so sweet to people, this really sucks.  Everyone please keep us in your prayers, thank you.PFG777 pfg777 Sat, 13 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT