CancerCompass message board discussion started by kacey on 10/18/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,17197,0.htm Thu, 21 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thu, 21 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ I am a child of the most amazing man in the world who is suffering from Prostate Cancer, he was diagnosed almost 7 years ago, and given a time period of no more than 6 months.  My daddy has stayed so strong through this all, determined to pull through, and just fight it until they find the cure, because they will find the cure for him.  My dadddy never wanted to undergo Chemo therapy or any desperate measures such as this as he wanted to preserve his quality of life rather than his quantity.  as things have progressed over the years, the natural methods, and massive treatments stopped working.  My daddy gave those ways up when they seemed silly as it came down to a chance of life or death.  My daddy has been on Chemo therapy for about a year and a half now.  The doctors told him his body could only handle three cycles (approx. 3 months), but as always he has surpassed their expectations. And made an amazing fight.  He recently had a change in oncologists and his new Dr. gave him a month or so off chemo, so he could get a break.  My daddy’s cancer has now gone into the bone and spread throughout his body.  He is so weak sometimes, but his new medicine helps him get through the days easier.  It is so hard to watch my strong tough daddy be in so much pain from so much as standing up, I want to give him all of my strength, everything in me but I can not.  And that is what kills me I cant even make him feel better.  It took me about 3 years to stop being a selfish child and accept and not be scared of my daddy’s cancer, but now I am having trouble dealing with the helpless position I am sitting in watching who I know is the most amazing man I will ever know.  I try to spend as much time with him as possible, but time this time is so much more precious than any other time, any other place, any other day.  This is time with my daddy.  I just want a way to make him feel better.  I just want to take the pain away. I want to do something..  I cant have him going through this pain.  He does not deserve it.  He does not deserve to have a low self esteem bc of what “other (non-sick) people will think”.   The thing that is the hardest is when my daddy gets sad and depressed and talks negatively about himself, his life choices or his appearance.  I try to reassure him that he is the most handsomest dad in the world! I just want all of his stresses to go away and I want him to be on a boat on the river doing everything he has always dreamed, in complete joy.  That will make him happy and his happiness will make his cancer fighting cells happy, and he will get better.  The thing here is, I know that he is going to fight and make it, I know he will he has too.  He will. But I just hate to see him in the unpleasant situation for so long.  Oh god I feel so horrible I wish I could take it all from him.  He doesn’t deserve this.   Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks,  Kacey   kacey Thu, 18 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT      I wish I had the miracle words that would make it all go away, but unfortunately, I do not.  All I can say is that I am in the same position you are in.  My father is also fighting cancer, with chemotherapy being the only treatment left.  As you mentioned, I watch my father struggle to get up, suffer side effects from the chemo, see how much his life has spiraled down hill.      I know first hand, that it is one of the most challenging things in life.  My father is very similar to yours from your description.  He is fighting tooth and nail, trying anything and everything that he can, so that he may stick around.  It makes you admire the man.  To watch a man fight so hard, to endure so much, all because he wants to stay here with you and your family.  My dad is my greatest hero.  As yours is to you, I imagine.  I don't try to force my religion on anybody, but I pray every day and night for God to take the cancer from my dad.  I pray for scientific breakthrough medicines that will eliminate cancer.  Perhaps God will grant me this miracle.  I also ask God to keep me calm and sane.  As I'm sure you know, it is easy to lose it, and very hard to keep calm.  Every trip to the doctor, you fear the outcome, and every visit seems like you narrowly escaped.  It is easy to miss out on your own life, because you worry so much about your father's.      The only thing I can say helps me, is my belief in God.  Anyone who knows me, wouldn't think religion would be what keeps me hanging on, but to be truthful, it is.  If you read the Bible (I've never read it all the way through), but it tells of Jesus healing, and even bringing back a dead man to life.  I hear about the miracles, when someone mysteriously is cured from cancer with no treatment.  The only thing that keeps me going, is knowing that my father may be one of those miracles.  I have to pray to God and ask.  I have to at least try.  I've never walked the right path, and always mess up when it comes to sins and stuff, but it also says God is a forgiving and loving God.  So maybe he will overlook my mis-steps and grant me the miracle I pray for every day.       Hope and Faith is all I have to rely on.   I can't tell you that God told me everything will be fine.  I just have to believe and have faith that it will.  Hope is just what keeps you from emotionally hitting the bottom.  Without hope, you give up.  After watching my father battle cancer, I determined that I can never give up, which means I can never give up Hope.  Faith is what makes you or breaks you.  Faith is believing something.  I believe there is a God.  I believe that cancer will one day be cured.  I believe that my dad will be cured from cancer.  I believe God can cure my dad's cancer.  These are all statements of Faith.  Without faith that something will happen, chances are it isn't.        I'm sorry if I offend anyone with all the religion, but it is what gets me through with all of the pain and suffering of watching my dad fight cancer.  If you are uninterested in my religious beliefs, then at least take this for comfort.  "You are not alone, and not the only one to feel this way.  I am also in the same position.  I know the hurt, pain, and fear.  I've been dealing with it also.  I know how it is to try to hide your fear from him.  I know what it's like to try to determine how long you have left with him."   I hope knowing that, will in some way make you feel better about your situation.  I know from reading your message, I felt better to know I wasn't the only one in this position.     Thank you, for sharing your story.  I hope and pray that one day, both of us will be bragging about the newest cancer cure.    Jwm0429 Fri, 19 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT My dads cancer is aggressive too... he was doing the vit c daily for two weeks and it did not lower it but he felt so good and gave him energy as well as it prevents it from spreading.  (most people respond better) But, I would look at an alternative clinic that does that therpy. We have one near us in Newport Beach, CA.  But, also, that doctor recommeded for my dad to go on Prostosal.  We had to order it from England (US does not sell) and he started on it last month.  Yesterday (8/7/07) he had his psa and it went down form 178 to 50.33.  We think its due to the Prostosal as well as the Vit C and the slew of alternative pills he is on as well as his diet.  I can give you some places to call if you like.  www.canceroptions.co.uk/  they are where we got the prostosal I believe.   Also look at nutrition2000  he was on that for months and months -that is who got us started on teh diet and alternative meds.Lupron eventually stops working... that is what happened w/ my dad after 6 years.  chemo had damaged his ammune system but get it back to its strenght.  have u look at his diet. my dad is on no meat - not dairy not alcohol no sugar etc.  go to cancertutor also look at the budwig diet.  my dad has been on all this and is still going storng.  he HAS to make his body healthy again.  also look into polu mva.  that is our next treatment..   Any other questions please feel free to write back. Smpal Tue, 23 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT oops- meant Poly MVA (sorry I type so fast and never check to see if it makes any sense).  Budwig Diet (it is the cottage cheese and flax seeds and oil) my dad is also taking many many supplements.  Such as: Selenium, Lycopine, Poweder Vit. C (as well as wkly vitamin c IV), green barely, beta glucan, pomegranite supplements and juice, green tea, essaic tea, andy some others.  its all about researching the internet and getting on a cancer diet.  Again, no meat, raw veggie diet, no SUGAR at all, no alcohol, no dairy (except for the budwig - that is different) some fish but WILD only, etc.. there is hope out there.     Smpal Tue, 23 Oct 2007 00:00:00 GMT Hi Kacey,   You remind me so much of my own daughter. Thank you for saying such brave honest words here where we can all read them. You really help me understand the feelings I know she has (and mostly shields me from).  I suspect I speak for many many men who have, or wish they were lucky enough to have, children like you. You remind us of the reasons we have to keep fighting. PaulC2 Sun, 04 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 11/4/2007 PaulC2 wrote:Hi Kacey,   You remind me so much of my own daughter. Thank you for saying such brave honest words here where we can all read them. You really help me understand the feelings I know she has (and mostly shields me from).  I suspect I speak for many many men who have, or wish they were lucky enough to have, children like you. You remind us of the reasons we have to keep fighting.dear kacey, what an endearing statement you made. my daughter cried. i am a cancer patient and we appreciate all that you said'being practical: 1: i am on apricot seeds. read about thses on google/yahoo. type 'apricots and cancer' and youll get much information abot the seeds and their active extract called amygdalyn/laeterile, all unrecognised by the FDA.  but i'm doing ok with a halt in growth over the past few months.consider this.also theres homeopathic therapy. go to site www.drramakrishnan.comyou will get info about his boston/newyork clinics. talk to his junior at the office and when the doctor is available you can talk to him. he has several cancer patients under his care.i am giving you this info as you are looking for workable solutions. please consider these routes.DON'T GIVE UP HOPE!!   all the very best and all of our pryaers for you                                                                  tcpitchappan  thevarayan chidambaram Fri, 04 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT i just read your message and it is exactly how i am feeling regarding my dad who last week was diagnosed with aggressive secondary bone cancer.  he is at the moment too poorly to walk over to the park with his grandchildren or do anything.  i feel that i am slowly losing my dad and dont quite know how to deal with this deep emotion that i am losing my hero.... he spoke the other day that he is so dissapointed knowing that he wont see his grandchildren graduate or even reach secondary school (he is only 64 yeras old)  watching my mum is also devasting and she just can't cope with the thought of not waking up with him....  i try to be bright and postive when i visit him, but knowing that i am losing my dad, it is a very hard thing to do.god bless youCharlie mspeps Sat, 01 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hello Charlie, I know that it is now 4 months after your first message to me and I just wanted to let you know that what you are feeling is exactly the way I have been feeling for the last 7 years.  I know that it is so difficult to think of all the things that he will miss out on, but he has to know that he will fight through all of the treatments, surgeries and scares that the doctors give him.  I really think that the only way my daddy has survived through this for the last seven years, is due to his ultimate will to beat the crap out of this cancer.One week after my daddy was diagnosed, the cancer metabolized (I may be using the wrong word) and the cancer went from his prostate to every limpnoid in his body.  There would be no treatment and no surgical way to remove this cancer.  Chemo would not treat it.  My father was given 6 months to live, with no alternative routes to fight this.  He was left with no answers, just one big problem.My daddy tried things from Mexico, he tried the Macrobiotic diet, everything, all it did was raise his levels.  Until he decided that he could not let cancer take his life, he was miserable. Miserable that he wouldn't be waking me down the aisle on my wedding day, or ever meet the man that his sole child would marry.  This devastated me with no boudaries.  I have been a selfish kid with all of this, wondering why my father did not want to spend every second with me in his last days.  It was not me, he was too busy with doctors appointments, and fighting his pain.  Once I realized, that my father cannot do anything for anyone else now other than himself.  And that is key, b/c if he concentrates on the meaningless stresses of everyday life, he will not be concetrating on fighting his cancer. He knows that his cancer will not just dissipate, he has to make it to the cure.  He has to have the hope and we all have to back him with our prayers and love.  He knows that time is short, in fact 2 months ago he recieved his final 12 month letter from his doctor.  This was hard to read when he first showed it to me, as no one should have the power to grant a time limit on someones life. I know my daddy will pass one day, and I know that I will crumble from it, but it will be the way that we pick ourselves up that will make our fathers so proud.  That is my only goal in mind right now, making my father the proudest man he could ever have hoped for.  Have faith, your daddy will pull through.  If it isnt for faith, we have nothing.  My father is divorced from my mother, and has been happily married for 7 1/2 years.  He was diagnosed 6 months after his wedding and was so scared that this woman 13 years younger would leave him, b/c she did not sign up to have a sick husband, my father was 47.  (Of course this was one of my father's fear, as the mind of a cancer patient is always the most positive)  In the past 7 years, this woman has surpassed any amount of strength that I have ever seen a 115 lb. lady take on.  She holds his had and rubbs his back when my huge father is curled up in a ball on the floor bleeding and crying from the pain.  She is so strong, and so is your mother.  The spouses have to deal with so much more than us children will ever realize, and it took me 6 years to realize this.  Your mother will always have the memory of him like we all will, and she will know that he spent every day til his rest loving her more than words could ever explain. I am so sorry to hear about your father, it really hits home and I just want to tell you that you will be able to see the clear sky through this all.   I hope something of this helps your pain.  If you ever need to talk, I will be checking this much more avidly.  Have a wonderful day.   On 3/1/2008 mspeps wrote:i just read your message and it is exactly how i am feeling regarding my dad who last week was diagnosed with aggressive secondary bone cancer.  he is at the moment too poorly to walk over to the park with his grandchildren or do anything.  i feel that i am slowly losing my dad and dont quite know how to deal with this deep emotion that i am losing my hero.... he spoke the other day that he is so dissapointed knowing that he wont see his grandchildren graduate or even reach secondary school (he is only 64 yeras old)  watching my mum is also devasting and she just can't cope with the thought of not waking up with him....  i try to be bright and postive when i visit him, but knowing that i am losing my dad, it is a very hard thing to do.god bless youCharlie  kacey Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT