CancerCompass message board discussion started by Cropsey on 11/13/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,17945,0.htm Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ Please help!  My husband and I want desperately to switch him to a different oncologist.  The current physician is so very discouraging.  We want to have someone who knows that the disease is serious but can talk to us with some compassion.  This one only says things like "I can't guarantee you'll be here next year."  This goes on at every visit. (My husband is on a chemo regimen.)Today, my husband spoke with the manager of the office and asked to change doctors.  She called back saying that she spoke to the doctor we requested, and he said that the current physician is a good one and that he is giving the correct treatment.  We know that.  That's not the problem!  It's his personality and lack of kindness. What can we do?  There's only the one office in our town.  There are about 4 oncologists there, plus one who is a palliative care physician.If anyone has had a similar issue please tell me how you dealt with it.Thank you so much......      Eileen     Cropsey Tue, 13 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT You need to switch Doctors. It is inexcusable for him to say that to you. My husband's oncologist will not be specific about life expectancy. He said "our patients continue to surprise us every day" so there is no way we can give a specific amount of time. We are 10 months out from his diagnosis of stage IIIa squamous cell lung cancer and he is now in remission. Recent bronchoscopy and 8 biopsies show no cancer. Keep the faith and do insist on changing Doctors. Find one with a personality. Kaemac Wed, 14 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT I can sympathize with you...my husband, who was 67 at the time, was dianosed last October with Stage 3 B non-small cell lung cancer...I am in central Fla and the Dr that we had was extremely arrogant and had the worst bedside manner I have ever seen. He didn't return phone calls, took 2 minutes per patient of his time....we had to have his Procrit and Neulasta sent from our mail order pharmacy. It took him almost 2 weeks (one scheduled appt had to be cancelled because of this) to give in to give us the order for the meds....they make a ton of money per chemo patient per year...this was a momonetary loss for him and he knew it...on top of that, I took him to the office one time because his hemoglobin was so low...he was becoming very symptomatic..the dr asked why we were there...we explained the problem my husband was having..the dr could have cared less...he never ordered a STAT for blood work.....only blood work that he had his nurse call us the next day and say that he needed to have my husband in STAT because his hemoglobin was way too low...while he was there that day, the recent MRI/contrast scan results came in...he would not tell us the whole day...finally when we were leaving and I had the secretary send his paperwork to another oncologist..as we made the decision to change..he came in and said.."by the way, the tumor is gone."..turned on his heels and left..no explanation, only arrogance...we were shocked and asked the nurse to please explain those results..she went to get the Dr again..he told her to tell us to make an appt, that my husband was no longer his patient..what arrogance and certainly no ethics!!!! I did report him as well as I was able to....my husband was in remainder of chemo with another oncologist that was as caring as he could be...I feel that oncologists deal with so much..they become detached in a way from their patients. but they need to have compassion..we are hurting people and need that caring...even if it is only falsely put on....my husband only stayed in remission for a few months and succombed to the cancer in July..it had metatasized to his adrenal glands and the pericardium surrounding the heart...a HUGE void it has left in my life....I, by no means, mean to be discouraging to you..every cancer is different, as is every remission...prayerfully, yours will give you alot of time together. Cherish every moment that you have.....have no regrets...if you have faith in  God, let it sustain you as it has me....I am a Christian, saved by the blood of Jesus Christ, and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that we will be together again some day....may God Bless you..stay in prayer and make the most of every day together... Sonworshipper Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT Eileen,I agree with everyone who has responded...you need to change doctors.  I'm not sure where you are located, but if there is a major city that you could travel to when needed it would be well worth your time and effort.  A major part of winning the cancer battle besides the treatment is a positive attitude and the will to win.  That's difficult to do when your doctor is so negative and offers no support.You are in my prayers that you are able to locate a doctor who is professional and has a heart and compassion.Tranquillity tranquillity Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 11/13/2007 Cropsey wrote:Please help!  My husband and I want desperately to switch him to a different oncologist.  The current physician is so very discouraging.  We want to have someone who knows that the disease is serious but can talk to us with some compassion.  This one only says things like "I can't guarantee you'll be here next year."  This goes on at every visit. (My husband is on a chemo regimen.)Today, my husband spoke with the manager of the office and asked to change doctors.  She called back saying that she spoke to the doctor we requested, and he said that the current physician is a good one and that he is giving the correct treatment.  We know that.  That's not the problem!  It's his personality and lack of kindness. What can we do?  There's only the one office in our town.  There are about 4 oncologists there, plus one who is a palliative care physician.If anyone has had a similar issue please tell me how you dealt with it.Thank you so much......      Eileen    Hello, my mother has pancreatic cancer and the cancer center here has four doctors. One of them sounds just like the one you are describing. He even went so far as to tell her if she had any hopes of beating this, then she needed to reconsider and realize that she was dying. She was down for two weeks after that visit, like she just gave up. My sister-in-law called the center and told them how rude and cold-hearted he was and that we refused to see him again.She also told them that we expected an apology from him. When the visit came around to see him, we refused and went straight on in for the chemo next door. While we were waiting on the nurse to fix the chemo, the doctor came in and ask if we could come into a room with him. My mother finally agreed.Once we were in the room with the door shut, my brother and myself went off on him.I told him I didn't see how he could lay his head down at night and actually sleep. He stood up walked over to my mother and apologized. He said he was very sorry and that it would never happen again.We've only seenhim once more since then and he has a whole new attitude.I think sometimes they just don't realize the toll this takes on the victim of this awful disease and the family. We have spoken to several other patience and they have all noticed the difference in his attitude and "bedside manner". It is so important to keep their hopes and spirits up throughout this and something like this can really destroy a person inside. Just keep telling your husband to not pay him any attention. If nothing else, maybe you could consider another center in another town close by.I wish you and your husband the best.My thoughts and prayers are with you.   Crazzmom Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 11/13/2007 Cropsey wrote:Please help! My husband and I want desperately to switch him to a different oncologist.  The current physician is so very discouraging.  We want to have someone who knows that the disease is serious but can talk to us with some compassion.  This one only says things like "I can't guarantee you'll be here next year."  This goes on at every visit. (My husband is on a chemo regimen.)Today, my husband spoke with the manager of the office and asked to change doctors.  She called back saying that she spoke to the doctor we requested, and he said that the current physician is a good one and that he is giving the correct treatment.  We know that.  That's not the problem!  It's his personality and lack of kindness. What can we do?  There's only the one office in our town.  There are about 4 oncologists there, plus one who is a palliative care physician.If anyone has had a similar issue please tell me how you dealt with it.Thank you so much......      Eileen    Eileen, I was diagnosed with breast cancer last Oct and was assigned to one office and he had no personality and never explained anything to me. I called my primary doctor and changed.and I am with a wonderful doctor. So it is my prayer that you will be able to change ...trust your spirit ...It makes all the difference in the total care .Rett     Rett1954 Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT My husband's doctor was alot like yours.  My husband was diagnosed over 2 years ago with stafe 4 colon cancer at age 35.  His doctor continually made references to the him not being around in the future,  The first time we ever met the dr. he gave my husband two years to live.  Every time I tried to find some hope the dr shot us down.  It got to the point that I would get sick when we would go see him for an appt.  We found another dr an hour away at Ohio State but she wasn't any better and just echoed what the first dr said.  Neither dr would do a PET scan because they "knew" that the spots on his liver were cancer, even though his enzymes weren't elevated and the they never changed size through a year of chemo.  Through a lady on this board I found a new dr at Ohio State who was more of a general oncologist instead of specializing in just the colon.  He is wonderful.  We stopped seeing the other two dr.'s got the PET scan done, was told the spots on the liver weren't cancer they were cysts and stopped chemo.  Two years from the diagnosis, almost to the day, instead of being dead, my husband and I had our third child.  Long story short, it's hard at the time to know what to do but keep trying to find someone else even if you have to travel.  Hope is such an important thing.  Many doctors don't want to give it but once you find one that will it makes such a difficult time a little easier.  Major universities are a good place to start looking for a better doctor.  I wish you the best! Jlwilson112 Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT Hi,I would advise switching right away. I went to a doctor for a second opinion before my genetic testing. She said to me without batting an eyelash, "If you test positive, they'll probably want to remove both breasts and your ovaries - and probably your uterus too, since your mother had that cancer also." She said if I was positive, then I would just be waiting to get cancer (which is not true). left there with my head spinning. She dropped a bomb with absolutely no sensitivity. I replied, "I can deal with my ovaries and uterus being removed, but the breasts is a whole different thing." Then she said, like it was no big deal, "Well, today there's breast reconstruction..." When I told this story to one of my friends, she reacted by saying, "What is she...nuts??!"When I went to Dana Farber in Boston for the testing, they said that she never should have said that. Most of those who test positive opt for intensive monitoring and may have their ovaries removed. Very few get their breasts removed.Luckily, my test came back negative. It's likely that the gene is in my family, but I don't have it. I also recently changed gyn's (after 15 years) because she also demonstrated complete insensitivity, when I was going through all of this, by getting mad at me - because I didn't specify why I wanted my records transferred.You don't need this additional stress in your lives right now. There is always hope. I now have a sensitive doctor who is reassuring and considerate. I wish I had made the change years ago. Good luck!  dewriter Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 11/13/2007 Cropsey wrote:Please help!  My husband and I want desperately to switch him to a different oncologist.  The current physician is so very discouraging.  We want to have someone who knows that the disease is serious but can talk to us with some compassion.  This one only says things like "I can't guarantee you'll be here next year."  This goes on at every visit. (My husband is on a chemo regimen.)Today, my husband spoke with the manager of the office and asked to change doctors.  She called back saying that she spoke to the doctor we requested, and he said that the current physician is a good one and that he is giving the correct treatment.  We know that.  That's not the problem!  It's his personality and lack of kindness. What can we do?  There's only the one office in our town.  There are about 4 oncologists there, plus one who is a palliative care physician.If anyone has had a similar issue please tell me how you dealt with it.Thank you so much......      Eileen  Some practices allow change of MD for personbality or emotional (or lack thereof) reasons which seems respectful. A good oncologistis kind and positive along with being medically adept.  My sister's onc. will say "There's no gaurantees" but she will also offer hope.  Who knows, maybe this guy was criticized for giving false hope.  Your husband deserves kind treatment.Hayes /Catherine   hayes Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT It's great that you are contributing to the message board even though your husband does not have cancer.  It helps morale to hear success stories, although we should be able to share what ever fellow-sufferers are experiencing.  The "odds" are not what we wish they were but some people do have long-term survival or find out they were misdiagnosed.Hayes/ Catherine  hayes Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT This is one of those times that strong advocacy for your husband makes all the difference in the world. INSIST on another doctor. This doctor's response to you is inexcusable. Time to say to that office, "I am woman hear me roar"! Good Luck, Viktoria Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT Switch!!!!! I had a great oncologist who believed in me. I heard she left her previous group because she felt the other doctors weren't compassionate to the patients. My doctor was so compassionate, in fact, nothing prepared me for the oncologists and researchers I encountered at conferences I attended. My cancer type/subtype was a "bad actor" "very aggressive" "highly lethal" "has no good treatment" etc. I left one conference room in tears. That lecture was NOT directed at medical students or journalists. The attendees were all patients and their families. A perfect example of insensivity bordering on cruelty. Physicians, heal thyself! Why not instead discuss the wisdom of research funding for cell-specific treatments? The way those doctors talked, they might as well have sold booth space to undertakers and estate lawyers. Fast forward: Despite my official 30 percent survival rate (or 15 percent if you factor in my cell subtype) not only am I alive six years after surgery, I have been in remission ever since first-line chemo ended in February 2002. And while I think I owe my life to my doctor's surgical skills and pure dumb luck rather than anyone's positive attitude, I will never forget the hope my oncologist gave me in my darkest hours. If I've learned one thing about cancer in the last six years, it's that this disease is unpredictable. Try to keep that in mind if you're a fellow member of the bad-stat club. I know a woman who had the EXACT same cancer type and subtype that I had. The difference between us was that she was a stage II and I was a stage III. Despite her earlier stage, she survived just two years, and here I still stand. Chat Noir Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT BY ALL MEAN......... SWITCH!!!! Oncologists are a breed of there own, as far as how they treat people. Some are overly untruthfully optomistic, others are dry and overly truthful. When they have patients, the need to be able to 'feel them out' and see what kind of answers the person and ther family really want to hear. A friend of mine told me something awhile back, that is ver true. Thats why the call it "practicing medicine", which means they dont have a black and white  answer, everything is VERY GRAY. Ever person is different, and based on living in a sue happy society, they run scared on what they can or should say, because if it ends up being wrong..some one coms back and says... YOU said this or that, and it wsnt true and my love one died in 6 months, when you said something else. Best way to find a Doctor, is to ask other people you know.  See if there is  a msg board for your treatment center of choice. I was in the same position, living in a rural area, I went to the closest one. My Doctor was the WORST. Thought she was goddess of Oncology, and you as a mere human, had no reason to know, let alone question her reasoning or choices or worth her time to bother with explaining anything to you, you were just to do as told, and not question. She lasted about 4 weeks, and I was gone. She never thought I needed to know my stage, or diagnosis. I only got the answers to my questions from my surgeon. I have stage 3 aggressive non-hormonal breast cancer, that spread thru my lymph system. Your time, mindset, and personal well being is very important when it comes to this disease. Unfortuately, there is TOO MUCH $ to be made in treatments, so at this point in time, there is no way there going to look really hard at a cure. I wish you luck in your choices, and hope you can find a good oncologist that fits your needs as a patient and family. netterz Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT Hi Eileen,I'm so sorry about your husband's cancer and his uncompassionate doctor.  I actually do not have a similar experience.  My oncologist was very, very encouraging and had a very good bedside manner.  I know you say that this is the only oncology facility in town...what about surrounding towns?  Is there a  cancer treatment center nearby?  How often does your husband go for chemo?  You have probably already researched all of this, but if not, it might be worth checking into facilities in other towns.  If not, it may be time to speak with the oncologist in question and tell him that his negativity is causing distress with both of you.  It so surprises me to hear of an oncologist who is not compassionate.  You would think that someone who practices this particular specialty of medicine would be full of compassion--someone who wants to make a difference.   I wish you and your husband the best of luck and health.  Sincerely,Mary  Songbird6352 Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT I have a slightly different perspective than some of the other posts on this subject. I am currently a patient battling renal cell cancer (kidney cancer) for the third time in my life. You can read my history in my post under Renal Cell Cancer (Sutent Has Worked For Me, Tumors Are Gone, dated 11/11). My general feeling is that if a doctor emphatically says to a cancer patient you have no chance of surviving your current illness…. then my advice is to run or get as far away from that doctor as possible. Once the onc he has reached that conclusion, one can only surmise that his efforts on behalf of his patient will be jaded by what he considers an inevitable conclusion so why would he waste time looking for potential treatments. Your post quoted your onc as saying "I can't guarantee you'll be here next year."  Well the painful truth is that statement applies to almost all of us fighting cancer. I will admit that it was not a sensitive statement and he was a jerk for stating it in that manner. But most of these onc’s are men of science and their bedside manner leaves much to be desired. Only God will decide if we will still be here a year from now. When my current onc informed me that I had stage IV kidney cancer he indicated that “things were not good” … some expression one never forgets. My research on the internet indicated that a 5 year survival rate for the stage IV cancer I have was less than 5%. While he was probably aware of that fact, he never told me that, but it sure gave meaning to his words that things were indeed NOT GOOD. While I never got the “warm fuzzies” (and still don’t) from my current onc, I stay with him because my research showed that the treatment program he prescribed for me is what I would have prescribed for myself. I am confident that he knows his business. My opinion is that this should be the most important criteria in selecting an onc. In your case I believe that your onc was being painfully honest while not being very sensitive. If you believe that your husband will not get proper treatment due to your onc’s statement or sentiment, then you have little choice but to move on.  If on the other hand your research confirms the treatment program he has prescribed for your husband’s cancer, then I would say moving to another onc is a matter of choice rather than necessity. Eileen, I hope this helps. Fighting cancer causes all of us to have to make some agonizing decisions along the way. I wish you and your husband a very long and happy life. May God bless you both. Mr. Magoo Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 11/13/2007 Cropsey wrote:Please help!  My husband and I want desperately to switch him to a different oncologist.  The current physician is so very discouraging.  We want to have someone who knows that the disease is serious but can talk to us with some compassion.  This one only says things like "I can't guarantee you'll be here next year."  This goes on at every visit. (My husband is on a chemo regimen.)Today, my husband spoke with the manager of the office and asked to change doctors.  She called back saying that she spoke to the doctor we requested, and he said that the current physician is a good one and that he is giving the correct treatment.  We know that.  That's not the problem!  It's his personality and lack of kindness. What can we do?  There's only the one office in our town.  There are about 4 oncologists there, plus one who is a palliative care physician.If anyone has had a similar issue please tell me how you dealt with it.Thank you so much......      Eileen   You have the right to find another doctor and of course, that doctor can come up with a number of excuses but you must be aggressive and demand your rights as a patient.   Call your primary care doctor and see if you can find some help from your insurance company.   I know oncologists see depressing cases daily but I have to tell you the oncologist I see remains pleasant and positive and the man is overworked.      lily13 Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT Forty-one months ago, my husband Jack (age 65) was operated on for removal of a IV GBM and the operating surgeon "gave" Jack six months.  We were devastated and have since learned that the medical profession has an undercurrent of negativity/fatalism because of the epidemic of diseases.  Since that daunting time my husband has avoided the "follow-through" with the negative surgeon and has gone on to partner with his oncologist/radiologist/general practice doctors and thus has regained his faith in himself.  You MUST partner with doctors who are positive because you and your husband must empower yourselves as you fight the battle to beat the disease and this cannot be done with negative medical care.  Fight to maintain a balance by taking control and good luck.  Loyce! Loyce! Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT According to my first oncologist, I should be nearly on my death bed by now. Instead I'm feeling better every day. She tried to emotionally manipulate me into treatments with her dire prognoses.I was fortunate to live in a larger city where I could find another oncologist with more knowledge than the first as well as a great personality. It will be much harder in your case. Would it be possible to travel to another town for oncology appointments? Having a doctor who brings you down after every visit actually makes you sicker, I think. Do whatever you can to get your husband to a better doctor. Jamilah Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 11/13/2007 Cropsey wrote:Please help! My husband and I want desperately to switch him to a different oncologist.  The current physician is so very discouraging.  We want to have someone who knows that the disease is serious but can talk to us with some compassion.  This one only says things like "I can't guarantee you'll be here next year."  This goes on at every visit. (My husband is on a chemo regimen.)Today, my husband spoke with the manager of the office and asked to change doctors.  She called back saying that she spoke to the doctor we requested, and he said that the current physician is a good one and that he is giving the correct treatment.  We know that.  That's not the problem!  It's his personality and lack of kindness. What can we do?  There's only the one office in our town.  There are about 4 oncologists there, plus one who is a palliative care physician.If anyone has had a similar issue please tell me how you dealt with it.Thank you so much......      Eileen  Dear Eileen, It is sickening to have to report your situation is not that unusual.  My Daughter is an ovarian cancer survivor.  During the initial shock and discovering the treatment options, and how to proceed to cure the disease, we were subjected to the medical profession's routine lack of personal caring.  The only facility we felt had a personal stake in her healing was Cancer Treatment Centers of America.  I can't say enough about their approach to cancer as a total mind, body experience.Remember it is your responsibility to seek an oncologists who shares your belief that cancer is just a disease.  It is up to you to take control of your life and your physician.  Spend as much time to find the right Dr. as you would spend buying a car,. You need more than a good Dr., you need a man of faith and healing knowledge.  Do your homework, search the web for your best options, and don't stop until you find the right ansers for your particular situation.  Interview your next oncologists, and give your cold doctor the boot.   Look for a professional who understands a positive, strong attitude is necessary to assist you in healing.  Live Long and Strong  Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition!   Paisley Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT Hi Ellen, you have the right to switch oncologist. medical therapy envolves the spirit, soul and body. your present oncologist seems not aware of all the three components of healing. cecille Sat, 17 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 11/16/2007 Jlwilson112 wrote:My husband's doctor was alot like yours.  My husband was diagnosed over 2 years ago with stafe 4 colon cancer at age 35.  His doctor continually made references to the him not being around in the future,  The first time we ever met the dr. he gave my husband two years to live.  Every time I tried to find some hope the dr shot us down.  It got to the point that I would get sick when we would go see him for an appt.  We found another dr an hour away at Ohio State but she wasn't any better and just echoed what the first dr said.  Neither dr would do a PET scan because they "knew" that the spots on his liver were cancer, even though his enzymes weren't elevated and the they never changed size through a year of chemo.  Through a lady on this board I found a new dr at Ohio State who was more of a general oncologist instead of specializing in just the colon.  He is wonderful.  We stopped seeing the other two dr.'s got the PET scan done, was told the spots on the liver weren't cancer they were cysts and stopped chemo.  Two years from the diagnosis, almost to the day, instead of being dead, my husband and I had our third child.  Long story short, it's hard at the time to know what to do but keep trying to find someone else even if you have to travel.  Hope is such an important thing.  Many doctors don't want to give it but once you find one that will it makes such a difficult time a little easier.  Major universities are a good place to start looking for a better doctor.  I wish you the best!You need to contact a lawyer, not for money but to let the first two oncologist know that their treatment of a year of chemo equates to malpractice. How awful that your husband and your entire family had to go through this . I am so happy that your husband is doing well and how wonderful and new baby.  Best to you and your family.Eileen ( Clevealnd Ohio )   Lester Sat, 17 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 11/13/2007 Cropsey wrote:Please help! My husband and I want desperately to switch him to a different oncologist.  The current physician is so very discouraging.  We want to have someone who knows that the disease is serious but can talk to us with some compassion.  This one only says things like "I can't guarantee you'll be here next year."  This goes on at every visit. (My husband is on a chemo regimen.)Today, my husband spoke with the manager of the office and asked to change doctors.  She called back saying that she spoke to the doctor we requested, and he said that the current physician is a good one and that he is giving the correct treatment.  We know that.  That's not the problem!  It's his personality and lack of kindness. What can we do?  There's only the one office in our town.  There are about 4 oncologists there, plus one who is a palliative care physician.If anyone has had a similar issue please tell me how you dealt with it.Thank you so much......      Eileen    Hi Eileen:Take heart! This is a common complaint - and it also is just another case of an oncologist "covering his a--"  and it means nothing. Don not fear that death is near! The conflict is this in a nutshell:1) Some of these dummies believe in the concept of "give it to 'em straight. I don't want anybody saying I didn't tell 'em that this could happen..."  - later after the fact, and something dire actually did occur (which it probably won't - but at least they can say: "I told you..."2) The other side of the coin is that with cancer, a major part of the cure comes from the mind itself - really. The mind can and does cure the body. Very highly specialized oncologsts do not just rely on the chemistry and physical aspect of treatment. This is critical. Therefore, preparing you for the worst does nothing but hinder the cure - and aid the cancer! This is what you're being subjected to. By all means change oncologists. If this means that you must travel, don't hesitate - DO IT! and do it NOW!Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) works with ALL insurance. They also treat the WHOLE person - mind and body. They are possibly the most advanced cancer treatment facility in the world - REALLY! They have 5 locations in the USA. Go to one of them - at no cost to you!!The NEVER "prepare you fo the worst" because they win most of the time - IF - the patient gets to them before it's too late. Time is rthe most important factor. They are a wonderful, caring organization.Wehn we were diagosed initially, we had one of the dummies who said: "Probably 6 months - maybe a year. It will be painful." What a dope! Even though his diagnosis and treatment prescription were right on, our hope was gone and his delivery methods were strictly from the Dark Ages. We would have not made it. THEN we called CTCA and what an IMMEDIATE difference!! Today, 8 months later, the cancer is 90% GONE, we have our life back, and our quality of life is rich and full again! CTCA works "miracles" every day! They even believe in "laughter therapy" and have stand-up comedy every week for all patients!!  If you read this, spare your loved ones, call this number, and pack your bags. The journey back to health is wonderful!! 1-800-FOR-HELP (Ask for Jennifer - she will be your Angel of Mercy)Good Luck and God Bless You davea888 Sat, 17 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT Dear Eileen,When I was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer, it seemed that every doctor I spoke to felt obligated to tell me how horribly bleak the prognosis was.  The oncologist I have does not have the best bedside manner and it was upsetting.  I asked him nicely, not to put me into the statistic pool..this is my canoe and I prefer to paddle in my own direction.  Since that conversation, our relationship has gotten much better,  He has lightened up and now we talk more positively.  This week I found out my tumor markers are down into normal range and he is just as ecstatic as I am.  Sometimes the doctors need to be reminded that we deserve to be treated the way they would want their family treated.  If you cannot break this ice with your oncologist, do your best to switch, but remember...you can control your attitude toward the cancer and get the support from other places and support group,if you have no way to switch.  I will keep you in my prayers..and send my thoughts and prayers to all of us waging this war.Pat  patsydingle Sat, 17 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT You must change doctor offices. You will never get a different doctor within this office as they will all stick together.This may mean traveling to a different location or city for a doctor but hope is essential to the care and treatment of a person with cancer. We just changed nuero-oncologists for my husband's GBM after getting incredibly insensitive care from a doctor and his entire office when we were not happy with their practically eliminating steroids during the middle of radiation therapy. Fortunately we live in the Boston area so we had other choices. I have since read that it is essential to maintain steroids during radiation, and my husband is now suffering the results of their elimination. He practically died this week from radiation encephelopathy due to this error. fortunately competent care saved him but he is now at a rehab cent and getting help, but not happy about it. Agw11 Sun, 18 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT  I feel I must bring you all up-to-date on the issue we had with my husband's oncologist.Afterthe manager of the cancer clinic we go to said that my husband couldn'tchange doctors I decided to make an appt. with her and see her alone.Theday after I spoke with her about my concerns, a nurse from anotherdoctor in the group called to make an appointment.  I was so relievedand happy!I didn't tell my husband that I was going to discusshis situation with the manager.  After  the new nurse called him I toldhim it was because of me.  He was so proud of me!  It was a goodfeeling.Now I can concentrate on getting him well.Thank you all for your encouraging posts.  God bless you.                Eileen Cropsey Tue, 20 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT I agree with most of the people answering this message regarding changing oncologist. My husbands onc is very cut and dry regarding explanations. My husband doesn't want to change because he's afraid no one will understand his case like the doctor he has. This doctor tells me to prepare the family for the worst and the next day he puts back the chemo port that was taken out a year ago. The family is totally confused regarding what this doctor is thinking. With stage 4 mestatic lung cancer that is in the bones and brain, I can't imagine why he feels the need to go on and on with more chemo for my husband. I personally don't feel another chemo treatment is going to help him. So far nothing has helped him. The leg tumor is the size of a football. These tumors almost seem to be "laughing" at these drugs. I'm beginning to feel that chemo and radiation is a business; all they want to do is to keep giving treatments so they can pull in more money. There should be some kind of law to stop these guys. VjeanH Fri, 23 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT