CancerCompass message board discussion started by monzag on 11/15/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,17992,0.htm Mon, 13 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT Mon, 13 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ my sister is in the later stages of stage 4......she has stopped all treatment and has aksed to be left to pass at home... my sister has a blocked bile duct...after refusing to have any more special proceedures they have left her with a little bag on the end of her wound...which has to be emptied nearly every two to three hours at the moment....she  is also now very jaundiced..... very weak and sleepy......thankgod no pain....... we don't know if there will be pain as she has had hardly any since the start in may this year....her mind is still very alert adn the only thing wrong at the moment is the fact that she is weak and canott get about.....we now have the help of hopsice nurse who we are seeing for the first time tomorrow... has anyone had any jaundice at the end......adivse please....thankyou for reading....and best wishes to all that are in this awfull place as we all are.... monzag Thu, 15 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT I recently lost my father to stage 4 stomach cancer.  He was not jaundiced, however he did have a tube in his stomach (g tube) to drain the bile that he would have otherwise been constantly vomiting up.  It drained into a bag which had to be emptied a few times per day.  I used the website  www.brainhospice.com to help in terms of what to expect at the end of life.  Although it is for people with brain cancer, generally, in the end, it seems to be the same for all.   The hospice staff can help tell you what you might expect specifically as it relates to your loved one.  If she is eating anything by mouth now, eventually, she will stop eating and drinking.  This is somewhat difficult to take, as we tend to equate health and comfort with food and water, However, in dying people, as the body begins to shut down and the person becomes weaker, the process of digestion ceases and it can actually bring discomfort to force food/water.  Expect your loved one to become weaker and thinner.  She may eventually go into a coma or semi coma.  The most important things you can do are to tell her you love her, be with her, hold her hand, give her a massage, and finally, be ready to give her permission to leave this world.  It is said that hearing is one of the last things to go and that even those who are in comas can hear, so be mindful of that and keeping talking to her, play favorite music, etc.The end of life can actually be a special and sacred time.  I am sure your Hospice staff can assist you and be able to answer all of your questions as you and your loved one enter this final stage.  Blessings to all of you. Chi-girl Thu, 15 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT PS-I forgot to mention pain, which had been my biggest fear for my father from the time he was diagnosed.  His pain was successfully managed with morphine, both a transdermal patch and injections.  Sometimes they would alternate the morphine with ativan (anti-anxiety drug) and unmanaged pain was never an issue for him, nor should it be for you loved one.  Hospice staff is very good at pain management. Chi-girl Thu, 15 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT I am so sorry to read about this. I just lost my father on September 25th to Stomach Cancer. My father was in Hospice for 9 days. Honestly, some people rally for quite some time. My father was alert and able to talk for the first 3 days in hospice, after that his pain was being managed by large doses of morphine, so he was basically in a coma. My father also had a J Tube that drained the fluids from his abdomen and bowels. Long pauses between breaths, a gurgling sound when breathing, and basically sleeping all of the time are signs that the end is near. Hallucinations, picking at the sheets on the bed, and spurts of energy are also common. My father died very peacefully. He took one big breath, and it was over.  This is a very crucial, and special time. It's ok to say goodbye, and let them know it's ok to let go. Kristennyc Thu, 15 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT Yes, the end is very near.  My mom was jaundiced and had lots of blockage.  My mom had lots of excruciating pain.  she had lots of morphine patches and via iv.  without the morphine, she was more alert but had alot of pain.  it's really sad to see and witness our loved ones going through this.  My mom's vitals were hard to maintain in the normal range like heartbeat, blood pressure, amount of oxygen going in, and the like.  I wished my mom had received better care.  Just tell your loved one often how much you love her.   Thereishope Thu, 15 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT I lost my father to stomach cancer last year. Yes, he had jaundice in the end - and also aspirational pneumonia, which was hard. The doctors told me that he was not in pain, as the tumor was not touching any nerve. So it is possible that your sister also won't have pain.My father also had problems with bile - constant hiccups because the bile tried to get to his stomach and found an obstruction. He had a J-tube, was very alert. Could hear everything I said. But was weak and on ventilator for the pneumonia. He could hear everything I said. He couldn't speak due to ventilator. When I asked him to blink twice to show he understood what I said, he did.At this time, be there for her - and show her your love. If she has concerns (like family, young children, other concerns), do reassure her and tell her that you will take care of everything - and she can let go. That she is going to a peaceful place. My father passed away peacefully.Take care, and God bless.Priya. Want2bstrong Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT  On 11/16/2007 Want2bstrong wrote:I lost my father to stomach cancer last year. Yes, he had jaundice in the end - and also aspirational pneumonia, which was hard. The doctors told me that he was not in pain, as the tumor was not touching any nerve. So it is possible that your sister also won't have pain.My father also had problems with bile - constant hiccups because the bile tried to get to his stomach and found an obstruction. He had a J-tube, was very alert. Could hear everything I said. But was weak and on ventilator for the pneumonia. He could hear everything I said. He couldn't speak due to ventilator. When I asked him to blink twice to show he understood what I said, he did.At this time, be there for her - and show her your love. If she has concerns (like family, young children, other concerns), do reassure her and tell her that you will take care of everything - and she can let go. That she is going to a peaceful place. My father passed away peacefully.Take care, and God bless.Priya.A big thankyou to everyone that has replied.......may i pass on my condolances to you that have loved ones passed.... my sister is not in pain....the stint that she has is blocked and the bile is now coming out of the wound and into a bag that the hospital put on her in emergency... it is more comfortable and is not so distressing....she is very sleepy but alert when she wakes....the only problem at the moment is the nausea.....asking about the stages of death seems to be very gory but i feel i have to know where we are as my newphew is having a hard time with this and is going about as though his mother is going to be here for a time... i want him to spend as much time with her but he feels that if she is asleep then there is no need for him to be here.....i feel that it wont be long for her she is not afraid and has told us she loves us...all i ask is that she keeps painfreeand will  just go to sleep...thank you again to all that have replied...it is very helpfull......    monzag Sat, 17 Nov 2007 00:00:00 GMT