CancerCompass message board discussion started by Txgirl68 on 1/15/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,19743,0.htm Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ I've only been here a week or so, but my Dad was diagnosed with EC last month (December '07).  He had a CAT scan that didn't show anything, but his PET scan showed cancer spread to lymph nodes in his abdomen as well as cancer in his liver.  He had an MRI on his liver and a CAT scan on his abdomen yesterday to confirm.  Results came back today and he was told there is nothing they can do for him.  Chemo would only allow him to live a little longer.  He and my Mom decided to forego that.  He is 68.He is still mobile right now but they will eventually set him up with hospice care at home.  The doctor told him his best guestimate is 6-7 months left. Not sure how they are going to break the news to my 9 year old nephew who lives with them (my brother lives with them also), but Dad is in good spirits and has already accepted what is going to happen.It's a roller coaster right now....best way to describe.  One minute I'm fine, the next I'm crying, the next I'm find again.  Guess it will be this way here on out....just coping the best we can and dealing with the time that's left.Not easy.... Txgirl68 Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am so very sorry to hear about your dad and his decision to leave things as they are. It is obvious that you love your dad very much and are willing to respect his decisions-no matter how painful. There is no easy decision when the cancer has mets. It's difficult to hear the words "not curable" and "palliative" from the doctors. I honestly don't know what I'd do if it happened to me. Daddy's EC has mets to the right lung. He has just begun his first round of chemo and has been soooo sick and in so mcuh pain that it breaks my heart. My prayer is that these early experiences are not indicative of the quality of life he is going to have throughout this journey.I have to admire your parents for the strength it takes to make such a difficult choice. I am sorry that I have nothing more to offer than my thoughts and prayers for you and your family. But you have that-I will be praying that God will give you the strength to endure what the next several months hold.Do you have any brothers or sisters? I am fortunate to have two brothers and a sister. It has been a blessing to have 3 others that are going through the exact same thing to turn to when you need a shoulder.Please keep us posted...God Bless  GeorgesGirl Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am very sorry to hear of your dad's diagnosis, stage IV is never good but I also hate to hear that your dad has decided to forgo treatment.  I would encourage a second opinion, it sounds like perhaps the doctor was rather pessimistic.  I will be honest that the survival rates for stage IV are dismal but there are plenty of survivors out there and your dad is shortchanging himself if he doesn't give himself at least a chance to be one of those survivors.  My dad took a shot at being one and unfortunately his chemo didn't work but I am so proud of him for trying.  I would highly recommend that you check out  Cathy's EC Cafe as it is an active site with many long term survivors who post daily, some of which were dx with mets just like your dad's.  Perhaps they could recommend a doctor in your area for a second opinion or at least your dad could read some of their success stories and then make a decision.  I am sure he is shellshocked by the news and overwhelmed by the statistics.  Perhaps the right decision for him is to just enjoy what is left of his life, only he knows that answer.  I just hate to hear that someone has given up the war without going to battle.  I am certainly not recommending that you be anything but supportive of him no matter what and it sounds like you are.I am truly sorry for your news and wish you and your dad the best.Debby Debbyw67 Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT If your Dad doesn't want to undergo chemo, would he consider something like tongren?  They do a conference call 5 days/week for stage 4 cancers.  We have used tongren in conjunction with treatment, but I know people who have foregone treatment, choosing quality of life over life itself, or so it would appear.  Some of these people have survived years in good health, although their doctors gave them months to live.  It's a form of energy healing, and would involve his sitting quietly during the call to receive the energy (very simple).  If you're interested, you could private message me to send you the phone number and time.  tongrenhealer Wed, 16 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT I'm so sorry about your Dad.  My husband was diagnosed in 2004 and survived for 2 years with a decent quality of life. He also had mets to the liver.  The first Dr. we spoke to was very pessimistic and only gave him a few months, but he was wrong.  Seek another opinion, perhaps even alternative medicine in conjunction with standard treatment.  God bless you and your family.  My prayers are with you. allpoos Wed, 16 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am very sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis - my son, age 34, was diagnosed at Stage 4 in April 2006.  His chances were only for 3-4 months with treatment.  Because of his young daughters, his wife and the rest of the family, he took everything that they could offer him.  He was Robbie right up to the end and he lived exactly 19 months and one day from diagnosis to death.  He died very peacefully at home.  I knew in August that his time was limited but I prayed for one more Christmas.  Unfortunately that did not happen as he passed away on October 7 2007. Robbie gave it a valiant fight but I remember telling him at each stage and each different treatment that if he decided that he had had enough I would support him fully.  Your Dad needs to know that you support his choices and I always cried away from my son.  It will be a roller coaster ride - it still is for me and it has been 3 months since we buried by beloved boy.  He alwyas said - one day at a time - just one day at a time.  I cannot believe that he was giving us all advice but I am still taking it and I offer it to you as well.  That is what got me through 19 mojnths of hell and the past 3 months.  Hugs to you and yours and I will pray for all of you.Lynn Momlynn Wed, 16 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT