CancerCompass message board discussion started by bobbi678 on 1/24/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,20058,0.htm Sat, 19 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sat, 19 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ My mom has recently been diagnosed with non small cell lung  cancer that has metatisized to her brain, abdomen and lymph nodes.  Her oncologists  nurse today told me she probably only has 6-12 months.  She is 84 so I'm sure this is a factor in that diagnosis.   I honestly don't know what I'm looking for except support from others that are going through the same thing.  She opted not to do a clinical trial because her oncologist didn't recommend it because of her age.  She has done 6 whole brain radiation treatments and will have 9 more. After that she'll have radio surgery right to the tumor in the brain.  Her oncologist wants to see how she's doing after all this and then we'll discuss chemo.  Any thoughts or suggestions from anyone?  Has anyone else gone through something similar with a loved one close to her age? I don't want to lose her---I just lost my dad in October.  :-(Thank you for any help.      bobbi678 Thu, 24 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi,I'm sorry about your mom.  My mother has stage four non small cell lung cancer too.  Has anyone talked to you about Tarceva?  My mother tried it as a first line of treatment without success, but it works well for some.  It is a chemo in pill form that usually has less bad side effects than other chemo drugs.  Good luck to you.    Roz Rosalind Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT Roz, I think that is one of the medicines they would have used if she had opted to do the clinical trial.  (she chose NOT to do one, though)As soon as her radiation is over the oncologist will talk to her and I about chemo. I think he's very concerned to give it to her because of her age.   Mom and I are simply taking one day at a time.  Thank you for responding to my post.  Bobbi bobbi678 Sun, 27 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi Bobbi,Tarceva has been around a few years and it is usually used after the more traditional chemo,  It really isn't a new medication.  My mother was on a study through Dana Farber and what was different was that she used it as a first treatment.  My mother's oncologist told us that certain people were more apt to have success with it-- women with adenocarcinoma.   I started asking questions and reading about people's experiences with Tarceva on this board immediately.  You may want to do that yourself.  It is supposed to be easier to handle than other chemo drugs.  It did not work for my mom, but some people, including some in their 80,'s have done really well.    Roz Rosalind Sun, 27 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT I wish i could provide you with some insight, but i wanted to let you know i am sending you the best wishes with your mom and for you.  Having lost one parent and the possiblility of losing another so soon is just too hard. Lots of love Garcia Thu, 31 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT I lost my dad in Nov. My mom has nsc lung cancer . She was given a year last Jan. She has been on Tarceva which has been successful in reducing and slowing the cancer. BUT she suffers from horrible side  effects which I posted today on the web site. My heart goes out to you. mildred Sat, 23 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi, Bobbi,My heart is with you also.  Those of us who read this board are the ones who probably share the greatest understanding, through our experiences. I just want to say tha my husband died of cancer last May-our girls were only 18.  Now the doctor has given me a "timeline" for my breast cancer, so they are in your place.  We are living and loving every single moment, and treasuring each one.  Each day we plan to do something happy together, and adapt it to how I feel. I think this is healing-love is very powerful-and I'm not "buying" the timeline-I'm fighting the disease the best I can. doctors are not gods-they can be wrong, and they have been wrong, and there's nothing wrong with hope.  Carl Simonton and Bernie Seigel have written books about people who got timelines and lived many years, even went into remission. Hopefully I'll win, and my daughters won't have to go through this again.  But even if I don't, we are making good memories every day, and that is worth a lot too.  Don't live in fear-it won't change the future, and will make the present harder to bear.  Look at your mom right now, enjoy her and love her, because this minute is all that's truly real anyway.  You have her  now, and you have her love forever.  Love doesn't die, and as I told my daughters, if I don't make it, I will be somewhere loving them for sure-I know I will, and I know your mom will always be loveing you.Sincerely,Starshine starshine Sat, 23 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi Bobbi,I lost my mom 20 years ago to cancer when she was 62. My dad is 87 now and just had a stroke and not sure how long he'll be hanging on. Plus I'm fighting tonsil cancer myself.So, there are a lot of us out there with you. You are not alone, we all care for eachother and support eachother. Be there for your mom, spend as much time w/ her as you can. Say all the things you've wanted to say, and just hug her.God bless you. Be strong.Rick rick51 Sat, 23 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT Be sure she is not suffering too much with these treatments. At times the treatments are far worse than the illness itself. She has had a good innings at 84 but that is no reason to lose her now. Watch her eyes. They will tell you how she is and what she wants to go through.You have to put her feelings first and foremost and surgeons often want to go ahead so as to find out what happens. Don't let her be a guinea pig. Just love her. And watch her eyes. Love to you. Jokerboy JOKERBOY Sat, 23 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT