CancerCompass message board discussion started by tweetybbad on 1/25/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,20067,0.htm Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ I guess I need to just talk or scream, heck I don't even know at this point.  On 5 January 2008, my oldest sister and I took my mother to the ER in Hot Springs, Arkansas to St. Joseph Mercy Hospital, because she was hurting really bad in her chest.  At first we thought it was her heart, she has had a quadruple bi-pass, but she kept telling us it was a different hurt.  I have had gall stones and remember the pain very well, so I suggested maybe she might have that, and with a CT it showed she had gallstones.  Then on 6 January 2008, mother went in for routine gallbladder surgery.........no big deal, right?  We could not have been more wrong.  The doctor came out and told us, it was cancer and the most aggressive type.  Needless to say we were all speechless!  Mother is 77 years old, has chronic lung disease (on oxygen 24/7) has heart problems, she is not active at all, has had 2 hip replacements and can't walk without assistance, so all these things are going against her.Tomorrow 25 January 2008, mother will have a PET Scan to determine how far the cancer has spread, and that will give us some idea as to the severity, and maybe how long we will have her with us.  She has a DNR in place, and does not want chemo, all she wants to do is go home, and sleep in her own house.  Another problem, my older sister believes the doctors don't know what they are talking about, she says mother is sick, but it's not cancer.  About 3 days ago mother was awake, talkative, laughing and feeling really good, then she took a nap, and woke up a totally different person.  She thought we had put something in her food, and thought my little sister and I were "up to something, and she would get to the bottom of it".  We tried to assure her no one was doing anything wrong, but that didn't work.  The nurse drew some blood for H & H, and found both extremely low so they gave her 2 units of blood, and the next morning, mother was herself again. My oldest sister says, "mother was acting that way because we were withholding information from her" although I tried to tell her, she wouldn't listen, and informed me "I better not keep anything from her".I am getting so tired.  Mother has been here 20 days and I have been here 16 of those days.  Three of my sisters have been staying as well, but they get to go home, and stay home 3 or 4 days at a time, but since I don't have a job, and evidently no life, I am expected to stay here the majority of the time.  I have had 6 back surgeries, and have to be in a wheelchair to get around, and I can't even take my medications at night to ease the pain because I have to stay awake and take care of mother.Has anyone else been in the same shoes as I am in right now?  How did you survive?  If anyone has had a loved one diagnosed with cancer in the gallbladder and in stage 3 did the doctor ever give you a life expectancy of your family.  Mother says she knows she has cancer, and doesn't like pain so she hopes she goes fast, although I want to be selfish and keep her here forever, I don't want to see her suffer.Thanks for lending an ear.Teresa Badeaux/Higginbotham tweetybbad Fri, 25 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 1/25/2008 tweetybbad wrote:I guess I need to just talk or scream, heck I don't even know at this point.  On 5 January 2008, my oldest sister and I took my mother to the ER in Hot Springs, Arkansas to St. Joseph Mercy Hospital, because she was hurting really bad in her chest.  At first we thought it was her heart, she has had a quadruple bi-pass, but she kept telling us it was a different hurt.  I have had gall stones and remember the pain very well, so I suggested maybe she might have that, and with a CT it showed she had gallstones.  Then on 6 January 2008, mother went in for routine gallbladder surgery.........no big deal, right?  We could not have been more wrong.  The doctor came out and told us, it was cancer and the most aggressive type.  Needless to say we were all speechless!  Mother is 77 years old, has chronic lung disease (on oxygen 24/7) has heart problems, she is not active at all, has had 2 hip replacements and can't walk without assistance, so all these things are going against her.Tomorrow 25 January 2008, mother will have a PET Scan to determine how far the cancer has spread, and that will give us some idea as to the severity, and maybe how long we will have her with us.  She has a DNR in place, and does not want chemo, all she wants to do is go home, and sleep in her own house.  Another problem, my older sister believes the doctors don't know what they are talking about, she says mother is sick, but it's not cancer.  About 3 days ago mother was awake, talkative, laughing and feeling really good, then she took a nap, and woke up a totally different person.  She thought we had put something in her food, and thought my little sister and I were "up to something, and she would get to the bottom of it".  We tried to assure her no one was doing anything wrong, but that didn't work.  The nurse drew some blood for H & H, and found both extremely low so they gave her 2 units of blood, and the next morning, mother was herself again. My oldest sister says, "mother was acting that way because we were withholding information from her" although I tried to tell her, she wouldn't listen, and informed me "I better not keep anything from her".I am getting so tired.  Mother has been here 20 days and I have been here 16 of those days.  Three of my sisters have been staying as well, but they get to go home, and stay home 3 or 4 days at a time, but since I don't have a job, and evidently no life, I am expected to stay here the majority of the time.  I have had 6 back surgeries, and have to be in a wheelchair to get around, and I can't even take my medications at night to ease the pain because I have to stay awake and take care of mother.Has anyone else been in the same shoes as I am in right now?  How did you survive?  If anyone has had a loved one diagnosed with cancer in the gallbladder and in stage 3 did the doctor ever give you a life expectancy of your family.  Mother says she knows she has cancer, and doesn't like pain so she hopes she goes fast, although I want to be selfish and keep her here forever, I don't want to see her suffer.Thanks for lending an ear.Teresa Badeaux/Higginbotham My Mom was 67.  In May of this past year she was diagnosised with gallbladder cancer stage 4.  She died in December.  It is a very aggressive cancer.  My Mom was in excellent health.  I spent every weekend I could with her for those 6 months and am glad I did.  Spend as much time as you can with her.  I am sorry to say there are not very many treatments that actually work for this.  My Mom had chemo but it just made her sicker.Pray a lot and spend as much time with her as you can.  I know it feels like a bad dream you can't wake up for and you get tired and want to be selfish, but you probably have very little time with her.God Bless, Eileen cpaeileen Thu, 31 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi. Sorry to hear about all your stuff. My husband is 33 and got Dx with stage IV Colon Cancer at HealthPark Hospital Jan 15, 2008. We have recently done a PET scan and have liver mets (5 spots).  We have already had a colon resection. We are getting liver resection next Wed with possible RFA and start CHEMO in 6 weeks with Dr Divers at Genesis cancer Center. i don't have a lot of information except we have a poor prognosis. Our next surgery is at National Park. Email if you have any information and God bless.Nikol nikar Fri, 01 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT To Nikar and everyone,I have been living with stage IV Colon Cancer with mets to the liver (20+) for 17 months now. I am 44. After my resection, I went to three oncologists. They all concurred that , with chemo I had 12-15 months.I made allmy funeral arrangements. I also decided to fight. If I was losing my life, I was going out with a fight. I am now in remission. I get bombarded with chemo to try and keep it at bay as long as possible. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE  WITH GOD.I really thought I wasdying,and I should be dead. My Dr cannot explain how I went into remission, he did not believe I could.I don't know how long it will last,but each day is a blessing soI try to live every moment.I ampraying for all ofyou. Lori  lori1 Fri, 01 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT My mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 GB cancer after a routine gallstone surgery.  She was only 61 and died 8 monhts later.  I was her primary caregiver and she lived with me for the past 6 months.  We btoth went through hell and I am still going through it just trying to get over the loss and the past months.  If I can do nothing else then I need to get this message out.  FIGHT!  Fight like crazy.  They gave my mother no time and would barely treat her.  The insurance companies owuld not pay for anything., I found good doctors and went straight to the manufacturers for the meds.  She would still be here but she got an infection.  Diet is important.  You need to build up the immune system with tons of fruits, veggies and stay away from processed foods and sugar.  Try FLor-essence tea.  Believe you can win! Smlev Mon, 11 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 1/25/2008 tweetybbad wrote:I guess I need to just talk or scream, heck I don't even know at this point.  On 5 January 2008, my oldest sister and I took my mother to the ER in Hot Springs, Arkansas to St. Joseph Mercy Hospital, because she was hurting really bad in her chest.  At first we thought it was her heart, she has had a quadruple bi-pass, but she kept telling us it was a different hurt.  I have had gall stones and remember the pain very well, so I suggested maybe she might have that, and with a CT it showed she had gallstones.  Then on 6 January 2008, mother went in for routine gallbladder surgery.........no big deal, right?  We could not have been more wrong.  The doctor came out and told us, it was cancer and the most aggressive type.  Needless to say we were all speechless!  Mother is 77 years old, has chronic lung disease (on oxygen 24/7) has heart problems, she is not active at all, has had 2 hip replacements and can't walk without assistance, so all these things are going against her.Tomorrow 25 January 2008, mother will have a PET Scan to determine how far the cancer has spread, and that will give us some idea as to the severity, and maybe how long we will have her with us.  She has a DNR in place, and does not want chemo, all she wants to do is go home, and sleep in her own house.  Another problem, my older sister believes the doctors don't know what they are talking about, she says mother is sick, but it's not cancer.  About 3 days ago mother was awake, talkative, laughing and feeling really good, then she took a nap, and woke up a totally different person.  She thought we had put something in her food, and thought my little sister and I were "up to something, and she would get to the bottom of it".  We tried to assure her no one was doing anything wrong, but that didn't work.  The nurse drew some blood for H & H, and found both extremely low so they gave her 2 units of blood, and the next morning, mother was herself again. My oldest sister says, "mother was acting that way because we were withholding information from her" although I tried to tell her, she wouldn't listen, and informed me "I better not keep anything from her".I am getting so tired.  Mother has been here 20 days and I have been here 16 of those days.  Three of my sisters have been staying as well, but they get to go home, and stay home 3 or 4 days at a time, but since I don't have a job, and evidently no life, I am expected to stay here the majority of the time.  I have had 6 back surgeries, and have to be in a wheelchair to get around, and I can't even take my medications at night to ease the pain because I have to stay awake and take care of mother.Has anyone else been in the same shoes as I am in right now?  How did you survive?  If anyone has had a loved one diagnosed with cancer in the gallbladder and in stage 3 did the doctor ever give you a life expectancy of your family.  Mother says she knows she has cancer, and doesn't like pain so she hopes she goes fast, although I want to be selfish and keep her here forever, I don't want to see her suffer.Thanks for lending an ear.Teresa Badeaux/HigginbothamMy dear girl:The only words that I can give you are that you MUST not blame yourself for any feelings that you are experiencing, either about your mother or other family members.  Probably the most important thing you can do is for yourself and by that I mean, when all is over, you need to be able to tell yourself that you did the very best you could.  You love your mother and she knows that; however, this is her time to come to terms with her death and no matter how difficult it is, you must allow her this and suffer all the agony that comes when we lose those we love most.  I hope you have a friend or relative or even a religious to talk to when you get so low.  Everyone is different, needs are varied, but the main thing is to take care of yourself, both emotionally and physically as best you can.  You will be glad you got through it, I can promise that.Sincerely,SS  Nagatha Fri, 22 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT