CancerCompass message board discussion started by ChrisZ on 1/25/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,20319,0.htm Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ Hi everyone - first of all, thank you to everyone who has responded to me.  Your words have all been very encouraging.  A quick recap - my mom was diagnosed with stage IV EC in late November - unusual because her first symptom was excruciating pain in the arm.  As it turns out, the tumor in her esophagus never really developed and stayed soft and didn't grow out, so she has full, unobstructed use of her esophagus and eats with no problem (very lucky).  However, she does have mets to bones and brain, with the brain being two microspots about 3-4mm in diameter.She broke her arm after being treated for dehydration for 11 days after her first chemo - that was scary.  She was home just after Christmas and it was special for all of us to be there. She has now resumed and is on her fourth round of chemo after ahving a break for a week.  Her broken bone is healing tremendously well.  She is 62 years yound and overall, very healthy.  She has lost about 19 lbs since this ordeal began (lack of eating mainly due to some depression, because some days she woofs down whatever she sees :)  - A few questions - she is going to start treatment for her low RBCs...Aranesp...  is anyone familiar with this and can you tell me about your experience with it.  I have been so positive for my mom and the rest of my family but found last night that I finally needed to let it out.  I was up til about 4am sad, depressed, and crying thinking about my mom and dad and how it will just never be the same again.  I want to tell myself that she has all the chances for some sort of remission as I have seen stage IV survivors.  Her young age, soft tumor that allows her to eat (and I personally measure her progress, although not clinical, by the fact that the "tumor" doesn't seem to be growing and blocking anything), her reaction to the chemo (affecting her hair, RBCs and WBCs says to me that it HAS to be working, although I know this isn't neesarily true).....All of that makes me want to say, well of course she has a chance.  Am I setting myself up for failure or dissappointment by hoping for the best but expecting the worst?  I just don't know anymore - but i do know that today in chemo, she feels better, she is receiving the treatment more as an every week routine and not a dreaded session, and she has had NO PAIN at all since her return from the hospital, which is a relief to everyone.  If there is anyone that would like to talk or pen pal, let me know - i think i need someone to talk to outside my family.The big test will be February, when we go in for whole body scans again to see if there is any progress with the treatments. Thanks for listeningChris PS.  If any of you are alone, I think about you at some point almost everyday.  My heart and prayers go out to those of you enduring this difficulty alone.  Again, if any of you want to speak, I am here and willing to listen or talk about the weather - whatever necessary.  God Bless ChrisZ Fri, 25 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT Same here Chris. If YOU need anyone, I am here as well as alot of other caring people. Sometimes it is hard for me to get the time I would like to have to post messages but I try. This board is important to me and has helped me more than anything else since my mom was diagnosed in Dec 07. She has no cancer that we know of after her treatments of chemo and radiation. Her next CT will be in March so I will be a nervous wreck then. It is so hard watching a loved one go through this. Your emotions are on a roller coster. You just have to hang on. I will be praying for you and your mom. Please feel free to send a private message if you wish. We are all in this together. Love and prayers to you and your mom,                                                                                   Pat                                     Patty5 Fri, 25 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hello, may I ask what kind and stage cancer your mom has? I am so pleased to hear that she is currently cancer free...what a blessing!!!! Which chemo regime did she have? Thanks!Therese tbtahoe Fri, 25 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT Chris-I always choose to believe it's all going to work out, although there have been many days that would make it appear to the contrary.  Of course I know it doesn't always work out, but I just can't let myself go there.  There are survivors, and some of us have to be among those numbers.  Sometimes you just have to find a way to let it out, but it doesn't mean you don't have faith in the process.  The emotional toll is huge.  Your Mom sounds strong, and like she is doing really well with treatments, and that's a great blessing.  Will keep you in my prayers. tongrenhealer Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi Chris - You know I lost my Dad to his first round of chemo, but yet, I KNOW so many Stage IV people are long term surviving!  Look at Cathy's EC Cafe - there a MANY long term survivors of Stage IV with mets.  It is amazing and miraculous!  Don't get me wrong, there are still not enough survivors for my liking :-)  but people are beating this beast!   I think your Mom has an EXCELLENT chance of being a long term survivor!!  Not to mention she has a great support sytem!  You are a wonderful daughter Chris!  You keep fighting with her!  Please know, we are all walking beside you in your battle.  I don't post as actively as I did, but I am keeping tabs and saying prayers for you and your Mom!  Hang in there - keep fighting and know that we are here for you 100%  percent!!  Please keep us posted.  God speed - karen Worriedsick Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT karen and everyone, Thank you for the kind words and support.  I chuckled a little - I have mistakenly been assumed as a duaghter (and that's ok it doesn't bother me! How are people to know!   I am my mother's 32 year old son, and have a wife and two lovely children.  This has been difficult for all of us, but sometimes its easier to speak to others in my position (but my wife and kids are extremely supportive)I will say this - I give thanks that my mom gets on the phone with me and we talk every day that i can't visit her - I am in FL she is in MA.God bless... Christopher ChrisZ Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT Your response made me smile too!  I have 3 sons and I am sure your Mom appreciates that she has a compassionate son to talk to! KatyB Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi Therese,       My mom was a stage 3TN1MO. Her cancer was squamos cell (I am not spelling that right, but you know what I mean). She was on 2 kinds of chemo, cisplatin (in the oncologist office) and 5FU around the clock via a pump she wore. She also had radiation 5 days a week. All of this was for 5 1/2 weeks. My mom could not have THE surgery because of bad lungs so her treatment was aggressive. If you have any more questions please don't hesitate to ask.                                          Pat Patty5 Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT