CancerCompass message board discussion started by mimi19 on 1/26/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,20334,0.htm Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ Hi, i been reading some of the messages and it just given me so much hope, yet i dont know what to do..My dad been having stomach pain for the last 4 years, he kept on going to the family doctor, and they said just stomach infection, gave him some medicine, and never tell him to go for further check up.. until August, he couldnt get his food through because it feel like the food got stuck in his throat, he then went to check up at a hospital and was diagnosed of cancer Stage IV. We went to a cancer research center (Moffit), and were told that it's stage III. went on chemo.  The first and second chemo was really well.  He didnt have that much of sign effect, only lose a lil bit of hair, and loose a few lbs. we were told to eat anything we want, as long as we keep the weight but not lose any.  A few days before his thrid chemo was scheldule, he had some pain in his stomach, couldnt eat and his stomach was really firm. We went to Moffit for check up, but they said he just had some sign effects due to the chemo. They stopped his chemo pills (not the chemo).  He went back for the chemo a few days later (already stops the chemo pills completely) He went home and his stomach got even bigger. He normally weight 120lbs, and with the weight on his stomach, he weight 150lbs. the doctor told him to remain in the hospital for checkup. He got weaker and weaker from there, til a week later, he were told that theycant do anything else anymore and he only have a serveral more weeks to live. They recommended to stop IV the multivitamin and just wait until he gone because the cancer has been spread all over his abdominal wall and lymp nodes, there nothing can go down so there no point of feeding him anymore. We been home for a few days now, and all we been doing was giving him pain medicine and sleeping pills. I can see that he got weaker, he can barely talk now, and seem like his breathin is getting worse, However, he said that he will not live awoke me from giving up. Yet i dont know what to do really. Please somebody out there help him. What am i suppose to do to help my dad, he;s only 54 and im only 19. We came from Vietnam 8 years ago, and he didnt get to enjoy anything in this country, He just work and worked so i could concentrate in school. He promised me that he gonna walk me down the ails and watch me graduate and success,.. Please somebody out there tell me what to do to help my dad.. mimi19 Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am so sorry.  I do not know what to really say to you.  You are being so brave.  I can tell that you and your father are very close.  He sounds like an amazing man.I too had a similar situation except it was my mother who was 53.  Mind you I am 32.  The only thing that we found worked best for us was to just live for the moment.  At this point the little things are everything.  Just sitting with him and holding his hand while he sleeps is probably a comfort to him.I am not sure I have anything medical to offer you but, try your best to talk with the doctors and nurses.  They may even be able to recommend a counselor to help you through this.You are not alone my friend.      Keep Smiling... Sun, 27 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT I too am so sorry that you have to be going through this....especially at your age.  You should be out having fun now and enjoying life.  Hopefully you will be soon.  In the meantime you need to stay strong, not only for yourself but for your dad.  Remember that courage is stronger than fear and this is the time to find the strength deep within you to stay strong now.  Also rememer that you did NOT do this to your dad and you have no control over this terrible disease.  I know all too well as my father has this stage Iv stomach cancer w/ mets to the liver and lymph nodes and he was only diagnosed only this past December.  I too wrote an e-mail during this time period on this site because I was so scared.  I also live far away from my dad and am not able to see him the way I want to now so my advice to you would be to spend as much time as you can with him and try to find interesting conversations that will take his mind off his disease even if only for a short while.  I know that it helps my dad when I try to discuss politics or the weather or how my job is going or my dog Eddie is doing and the cute things that he does around the house.  And yes, there are many times when he doesn't want to talk on the phone at all....it is those times when I miss him the most and wish I could just be there with him even while he sleeps but the truth of the matter is I don't know how much that would even help him.  I think that the bes tthing is when your father is up for some conversation is to try and talk with him about other things....hope this helps.  I wish I could say more but that's all I know to help.  This one is not in our hands to solve, only to be there and love.....God bless you and your father as well as yourself are in my prayers.  You are not alone.....stay on this site and read the different conversations as I do each and every day and I feel like people really understand and are right there with me.....we are here with you too.  Lila. LSUSAN Mon, 28 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT Greetings from Orange County,My friend, I am sorry to hear about your dad's condition. What you can do at this time is being with him all the time, you can contact clinical trial online asap and try to talk to his local doctors that he needs to be stable to get on clinical trial, they can use J - feeding or they can use TPN to keep him stable for a few months.  I've lost a brother -51 yrs old as stage IV gastric cancer, I felt bad that I did not get him on the clinical soon until he was not stable and he did not have a chance to try it, but if you act fast he can have a chance to get on trial.  The process takes weeks to complete the papers. God Bless your family, loc0322 Mon, 28 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hello Zydeco:To answer some of your questions, my brother was diagnosed negative at first biopsy, then a year later biopsy showed positve for carcinoma, he had surgery on 03/05 and two more surgery after that and a total of three regimens of chemotherapy(21 cycles) and six times of radiation therapy. everybody is different. In order to find a right treatment, you need to follow up with MD Anderson or have your biopsy sent to Mayo Clinic.  You can check in alternative medicines like Chinese Herbal or some other available natural treatments. If you have to have Surgery, make sure to check the Surgeon if he had perform this type procedure many times, otherwise, you may have to suffer alot of  bad uncertainty. please stay on a healthy diet and a regular excercises, meditation, try to control fear. God Bless you, loc0322 Tue, 29 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT