CancerCompass message board discussion started by pooprecious on 2/14/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,20930,0.htm Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ Two year's ago I lost a precious sister to lung cancer. I was never very close to her until she came to live with me, and shortly after was diagnoised in the IV stages of lung cancer. I took care of her to the very end. She and I became the best of friends, as well as we shared so much love between each other. Shortly after her death I met an awesome, incredible man. He ws someone I could talk to openly about anything. We dated a few times, but I think he knew I wasn't ready for a relationship, and we stopped talking and dating. Last month I got an email from him and he's in the IV Stage of RCC.  When I heard the news I was devastated. He lives 80 miles away, and I go to see him a few times a week. We still have that connection. I'm so heart broken. There are times I look at him and think, why did I distance myself from him. He's probably everything I'd want in a man. He's great with his kids, he's very kind hearted and funny as heck. But there's one thing that's bothering me. I'm not one to give my heart very easily, but I love this man. I can't explain it. There are times when I'm around him, I have to leave the room, because I don't want him to see me crying. I don't understand why the Lord allowed two people whom I care about to come into my life, and then take them away. Sometimes I wish I could just stay away so I'm not hurt if something should happen to him, but then my heart say's I do make a difference in his life, and that would be the most selfish thing I could do, staying away. How do I get a tough heart. My heart has always been unselfish, and giving, and now I'm faced with loosing a man I fell in love with because I wanted to be there as a friend.   pooprecious Thu, 14 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT My heart goes out to you. The man of my dreams was taken from me in nov, we waited 2 years to be together so i could finish school. Shortly before i finished he was dx'd with RCC.  I packed my things and moved from NY to Fla to spend whatever time he had left with him.  I started and finished my externship there, only a month before he died. It was the hardest decision i've ever had to make, but i wouldn't have had it any other way.  It's still hard to believe he's gone!! All the tears, fears, good days and bad, the hard, endless work of taking care of him for 11 months. NO REGRETS!!!  You have to do what your heart tells you to do.  Do what's right for you not anyone else. Cindy611 Thu, 14 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT