CancerCompass message board discussion started by clearmare on 2/21/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,21186,0.htm Wed, 08 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT Wed, 08 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ My beloved Al lost his battle Feb. 19.  He lived for  7 months since diagnosis.  In one week's time he went downhill very quickly.  He was on oxygen in the hospital and pumped up with pain killers.  I'm happy for him that he's out of pain and in a better place now, but I miss him terribly.  I never knew what real heartbreak was before this. clearmare Thu, 21 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT May God bless you and your family in the coming days with his peace and comfort.Take care,Janice  Infoquest Thu, 21 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 2/21/2008 clearmare wrote:My beloved Al lost his battle Feb. 19.  He lived for  7 months since diagnosis.  In one week's time he went downhill very quickly.  He was on oxygen in the hospital and pumped up with pain killers.  I'm happy for him that he's out of pain and in a better place now, but I miss him terribly.  I never knew what real heartbreak was before this.My prayers are with you.My husband has kidney cancer,he is 50.It has being three years.So far so he is doing good Thanks To God!! But still I think about it every day and It scares me to see life without my husband.I also hate to see my husband in pain.So tonite you will be in my prayers.Keep in touch.I will post{ a hello} just to see how you are doing.                                                      Rally 53 rally53 Thu, 21 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 2/21/2008 clearmare wrote:My beloved Al lost his battle Feb. 19.  He lived for  7 months since diagnosis.  In one week's time he went downhill very quickly.  He was on oxygen in the hospital and pumped up with pain killers.  I'm happy for him that he's out of pain and in a better place now, but I miss him terribly.  I never knew what real heartbreak was before this.God bless you with a comfort unknown to you before. My heart goes out to you.Blessings,my sister's voiceeaglessoar eaglessoar Thu, 21 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT So sorry to hear about your husband, my heart goes out to you and your family . My father was diagnosed in May of 07 and died in Oct. There really are no words to comfort you. You absolutely feel heartbroken in the worst way. Hopefully it helps to know you are not alone. Greif is a process and everyone tells me it wont be as sharp after a while but the first year is the worst. This is the most horrible disease and we have to continue to do everything to fight it. Again my heart goes out to you. God will help you get through it. Cherylynne cherylynne Fri, 22 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am sorry for your loss.  I lost my mom 69 days ago from pancreatic cancer.  She sufferred terribly.  We were glad that her suffering ended and did not realize how our suffering was beginning.  Our lives are so empty w/out her.  I constantly think of her.  I do not cry everyday anymore.  Its a very difficult journey to watch your loved one suffer from this disease and then they are gone.  We are fortunate we have our memories, our photos and lots of video tapes of her --which my kids watch.  At first my brother would call me and he actually laughed--i was so mad at him.  I said how can you even smile, let alone laugh, he told me mom is not suffering anymore and that makes me happy.  His words really helped me.  And i hope they help you.  My mom was only 63 yrs old.  Some days I am actually jealous of my friends because they dont realize how lucky they are to have their mom.  No one knows how you feel, unless you go through this.  My therapy was keeping extremely busy and at night --it was hard and i would cry and cry.  Its no easy, but life does go on.  Some days/weeks i feel like i am just existing.  Surround yourself with your loved ones and celebrate your husband life and memories.     Kellypicco Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT my deepest sympathy to you both. kelly, i lost my mom 10 years ago, like you, it was devastating for me, she was 73. i cried long and hard for my mom, and went to her grave weekly for the first couple years, mother's day was awful for me. so i know the pain you are feeling. the crying and grieving for me was a necessary part to be able to live with out her. so grieve as long as you have to, my dear, its ok to do that. it honors her memory, and what she meant to you! it does get better, but they is always in our hearts, and we cherish the memories we had. every one grieves different. its personal, and done out of love. you will be ok, its very raw for you and oh so early, so  be kind to yourself, and remember tears are healing in their own way, love, and prayers, marlene marlene61 Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT May a peace that passes understanding be with you and your loved ones.Catherine  hayes Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am so sorry. It seems true that only those having experienced this can really come even close, within a light year of miles, to understanding what you are experiencing now.  My wife passed on 1/26/08 fro PC.  It was a 13 month battle for every inch of ground.  I thank God for giving us to one another and thank Him that He  placed her in my hands to care for her.  Wedding vows were kept .. for better and for worse...and nothing remained unsaid or undone.  She's now well, but we survivors of PC suffer from the sudden loneliness. Just befor my passed on someone told me that "they keep making tomorrows".  I saw her sick for so long that my memories are of her being sick... healthy seems so long ago.  It's now about 5 weeks and my mind is beginning to briefly recall our healthy past and life together.  Embrace your sorrow... sounds strange, but it'll keep your mind healthy.  We just need to be as determined to live tomorrow as we were in helping our spouses.  That may be, in the end, the best way of honoring their memories. ilikepurple Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT I have not been on the site in a few weeks.  I just saw your post.  I am so, so sorry to hear of your husband's passing.  I can not imagine how deep your pain is.  This damn cancer is a horrible thing and it hurts everyone it touches.  I pray that he was not in too much pain at the end.  I am sure he felt your love. With my mom livng with stage 4 lung cancer, I know the pain I am in and I want to fight tooth and nail to not endure the pain you are feeling now. Damn cancer!  Serenitymine Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 2/28/2008 Kellypicco wrote:I am sorry for your loss.  I lost my mom 69 days ago from pancreatic cancer.  She sufferred terribly.  We were glad that her suffering ended and did not realize how our suffering was beginning.  Our lives are so empty w/out her.  I constantly think of her.  I do not cry everyday anymore.  Its a very difficult journey to watch your loved one suffer from this disease and then they are gone.  We are fortunate we have our memories, our photos and lots of video tapes of her --which my kids watch.  At first my brother would call me and he actually laughed--i was so mad at him.  I said how can you even smile, let alone laugh, he told me mom is not suffering anymore and that makes me happy.  His words really helped me.  And i hope they help you.  My mom was only 63 yrs old.  Some days I am actually jealous of my friends because they dont realize how lucky they are to have their mom.  No one knows how you feel, unless you go through this.  My therapy was keeping extremely busy and at night --it was hard and i would cry and cry.  Its no easy, but life does go on.  Some days/weeks i feel like i am just existing.  Surround yourself with your loved ones and celebrate your husband life and memories.    Hi, my father has been fighting his pancreas cancer for 2 years now.... and he is in the last stage of his life the doctor said.  My father is 61 years old.  He has been suffering for the last 2 years.  In the last weeks I have been wishing him to die in peace and to go towards a better place, a place with no pain, no humilation, no confusion,.... and now that his end seems to be coming fast... I don't know what to think.  I am so sad to think he is going to leave us, but at the same time I'm thinking about my mother who is all alone to take care of him and for her own sake, I think this needs to end.  I feel lost.  My father still thinks he will make it.... but we all know he won't.... it is horrible to see him being so diminish....  I wish I hadn't had to see him like that.  It will be difficult to remember the good times, after seeing him in so much pain, physically and mentally.Slinky Slinky Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT I know exactly how you feel.  My mom was diagnosed 4/24/07 and died 12/21/07.  She had an unsuccessful whipple with many complications.  She went from 150 lbs to 65 lbs.  She did not eat anything for 21 days before dying.  We all prayed for her to go as it was horrible to see her like that.  She suffered terribly as hospice had a hard time controlling her pain. This is a wicked disease and unfortunately there is no hope.  I am sorry to hear about your dad.  As he is young like my mom.  My mom had fought for awhile and at the end of november she had had enough--she told me and my brother and she just gave up.  It broke our hearts, but how can you be mad at someone for giving up when there is no hope.  I pray that your dad goes quickly and peacefully. I was right there with my mom when she died.  I sat with her for 45 minutes after.  She looked so peaceful for the first time in a 8 months.  The funeral was the easy part, i know that sound terrible.  But you have your friends and family there.  Then you have to come home back to your life and get back into your normal routine, which i could not remember what it was--as my mom was very ill and spent 55 days in the hospital and lived with me about 5 months from june to december.  I am fortunate to have a good husband and some great friends and other family.  That call me constantly and lend a shoulder.  Some days i would not say a word others i would.  I will keep you and your mom and especially your dad in my prayers.  If you want to talk please respond back.  After my mom passed i used this board as my therapy.  Kellypicco Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:00:00 GMT