CancerCompass message board discussion started by Corduroy on 3/1/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,21543,0.htm Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ Hi, I was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer after having a tumour and my left lobe removed.  Subsequently, my right lobe was also removed and more cancer was found.  I am employed full time, but was off on maternity leave when I got this wonderful news.  My employer has now switched me to disability benefits and beginning in May, I would be on disability from an insurance provider.  At this stage of everything, I don't what is happening with my life.  I am scheduled for orientation and consultation at my local cancer hospital in three weeks.  I will likely be scheduled for radioactive iodine following that.  I guess, at this point, I don't know or understand what I am entitled to feel.  Some people say "at least it's a good cancer".  Yeah right...easy for them to say - is any cancer really good??  I also get the distinct impression from some that there is no reason I shouldn't be working.  I don't know what I am allowed to be doing.  I can say I'm dealing with the cancer by being in a state of denial.  I have a baby girl (13 months), a sometimes emotionally demanding marriage, a pre-existing panic/anxiety disorder with OCD that was intensified post partum.  Right now I'm pissed off.  I'm mad at my body for being sick.  I don't know where my health is at.  I knew before I even went to the doctor before all of this began that I was sick in some way.  I think I can honestly say I'm in a depression, but I'm plodding along through life.  I'm stressed about this long term disability and the application process and whether I'm being a baby and just need to suck this cancer crap up.  Can anyone help me.  Please and thanks. Corduroy Sat, 01 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 3/1/2008 Corduroy wrote:Hi, I was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer after having a tumour and my left lobe removed.  Subsequently, my right lobe was also removed and more cancer was found.  I am employed full time, but was off on maternity leave when I got this wonderful news.  My employer has now switched me to disability benefits and beginning in May, I would be on disability from an insurance provider.  At this stage of everything, I don't what is happening with my life.  I am scheduled for orientation and consultation at my local cancer hospital in three weeks.  I will likely be scheduled for radioactive iodine following that.  I guess, at this point, I don't know or understand what I am entitled to feel.  Some people say "at least it's a good cancer".  Yeah right...easy for them to say - is any cancer really good??  I also get the distinct impression from some that there is no reason I shouldn't be working.  I don't know what I am allowed to be doing.  I can say I'm dealing with the cancer by being in a state of denial.  I have a baby girl (13 months), a sometimes emotionally demanding marriage, a pre-existing panic/anxiety disorder with OCD that was intensified post partum.  Right now I'm pissed off.  I'm mad at my body for being sick.  I don't know where my health is at.  I knew before I even went to the doctor before all of this began that I was sick in some way.  I think I can honestly say I'm in a depression, but I'm plodding along through life.  I'm stressed about this long term disability and the application process and whether I'm being a baby and just need to suck this cancer crap up.  Can anyone help me.  Please and thanks.Dear Corduroy, I don't want to say been there, done that--no situation is the same. I have just signed up for this site--although I was diagnosed 5 years ago on May 15 and have been through it. I understand the depression and the feeling of plodding along. In fact, I am experiencing deep depression currently because I have pain that has me frantic. You are not being a baby. I know that. You need to know that. I know you are not being a baby because sometimes I feel like I'm crazy because I'm afraid. YOU ARE NOT BEING A BABY. Honest. I can't imagine the stress you are going through--although I have my own and it is different. I understand and empathize. I was stressed enough this morning that I called my employer's support line. I felt lost and alone. I don't want you to feel that. Ever. I know that is not something you need to add to your life. You have enough to deal with, if you stress or cry or freak sometimes--that is okay. You are living this--and it is scary. You have the right to your feelings.For years, I felt guilty. Then I was sitting watching TV with my sister one day and Melissa Etheridge was on one of those news shows. I just cried.It helped me to hear someone talk about dealing with the same feelings I had and how hard it was--and to be told not to feel guilty. I am not very good at this, but I want to be able to do this for you. What can I do to help?Jessica   jessicaanne Sat, 05 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT