CancerCompass message board discussion started by KatyB on 3/13/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,21943,0.htm Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ My husband died yesterday morning at home.  He fought hard until the end. Words seem so inadequate to describe how much I love him and miss him.  He was an inspiration to all who knew him.  I am sorry for those of you that are fighting this battle and hope every day doctors and researchers are working to come up with a cure or at least improve the survival rates by detecting the disease earlier.My sons were here over the past 3 days to help me care for my husband and witnessed much of his end of life struggle.  They are all in shock and doing the best they can to cope with the loss of their father and step-father.  My husband never wanted to put any of us through this. I know we were able to give him some peace in doing this and showed him with our care how much we valued his love and our life together by staying by his side and honoring his wish to die at home.I wish all of you the strength to get through this and I will continue to hope for miracles!KatyB KatyB Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 3/13/2008 KatyB wrote:My husband died yesterday morning at home.  He fought hard until the end. Words seem so inadequate to describe how much I love him and miss him.  He was an inspiration to all who knew him.  I am sorry for those of you that are fighting this battle and hope every day doctors and researchers are working to come up with a cure or at least improve the survival rates by detecting the disease earlier.My sons were here over the past 3 days to help me care for my husband and witnessed much of his end of life struggle.  They are all in shock and doing the best they can to cope with the loss of their father and step-father.  My husband never wanted to put any of us through this. I know we were able to give him some peace in doing this and showed him with our care how much we valued his love and our life together by staying by his side and honoring his wish to die at home.I wish all of you the strength to get through this and I will continue to hope for miracles!KatyB Katy I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what he means by not wanting  to put his family through such a thing. I'm sure he appreciate having his family near him in his passing. I feel he is blessed to have such a family and wife.God bless you all in your healing time, I hope God brings you some peace soon.Ditey   Peppe Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT My heart breaks for you. Ange Angedoon Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT My heart aches for you and all who loved your husband.  May you have an abundance of warm hugs and love surround you during this terrible time.You are in my prayers.Gerri Gerri Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT Katy,Please know I am thinking of you and your family .  I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I had something to say to ease your pain.Angie angree Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am so sorry....they have given my husband (56) a year with treatment, that being a trial study.  When you can, could you please give me some info on your husband's situation.  I want to know what to hopefullly not have to prepare for..eg. pain, ect.  He had surgery 7/07, chemo and at first pet had large lymph involvment and it is in his bone.  If you are unable to respond I will understand, this is a nightmare....thank you and I will pray for your family..Rhonda--Message edited by CancerCompass staff. For personal protection, email address removed. Consider private reply. Please review CancerCompass Member Guidelines at http://www.cancercompass.com/common/guidelines.html-- zoom651 Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT Dear KatyB, I am so sorry for your loss of your husband.  I know your pain as I just lost my husband to stomach cancer on February 22, 2008.  He wished to die at home, unfortunately, as I was preparing to bring  him home, he took a turn for the worse.  He died in the hospice section of the Veteran's Hospital with me and his brother at his side.  He too struggled and fought valiantly til the end.  He is my hero.  He never complained even though he lost over 80 lbs., couldn't eat and was constantly fatigued.  Believe me, I too have grown children and four grandchildren, but it's only gotten worse rather than better.  I pray for strength to get through the day.  Pray for God's strength.  I can only tell myself that Mike and I will be together again someday and he is not suffering anymore.  I miss him desperately and cry constantly.  I guess this is part of the process.  Our memories together were beautiful and we had a good life though short (26 years).  Take care and just keep reliving all the beautiful times you had.  You will see him again and be together forever and ever.   Sincerely,Diane Anniedips Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT (((((((((Katy)))))))))I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's passing.  I know that being there with him, along with your sons had to have been a great blessing for your husband.I pray that you and your sons will eventually find peace, knowing that your husband no longer has to fight this beast.  God took over, beating the beast - the beast no longer has any control over your husband.Gentle hugs,AzzieOn 3/13/2008 KatyB wrote:My husband died yesterday morning at home.  He fought hard until the end. Words seem so inadequate to describe how much I love him and miss him.  He was an inspiration to all who knew him.  I am sorry for those of you that are fighting this battle and hope every day doctors and researchers are working to come up with a cure or at least improve the survival rates by detecting the disease earlier.My sons were here over the past 3 days to help me care for my husband and witnessed much of his end of life struggle.  They are all in shock and doing the best they can to cope with the loss of their father and step-father.  My husband never wanted to put any of us through this. I know we were able to give him some peace in doing this and showed him with our care how much we valued his love and our life together by staying by his side and honoring his wish to die at home.I wish all of you the strength to get through this and I will continue to hope for miracles!KatyB  Azzie21 Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT God Bless you and your sons.  I have stage IV colon cancer and I know how your father felt.  You want to survive and fight like hell to do so, but there is always the thought you may not wine this fight and it hurts to watch those who care about you suffer from watching you go through the treatments , surgeries and side effects.  I truly believe it is much easier to be the patient than the caregiver.  You have an amazing family and I hope you will all forget about those last days (well all the bad parts of them, there are always some good parts) and remember his life when he was free of disease and all the good times you and your family shared together.  Those memories will keep him alive for you the rest of your life and your son's lives.  Take care and God bless you On 3/14/2008 Azzie21 wrote:(((((((((Katy)))))))))I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's passing.  I know that being there with him, along with your sons had to have been a great blessing for your husband.I pray that you and your sons will eventually find peace, knowing that your husband no longer has to fight this beast.  God took over, beating the beast - the beast no longer has any control over your husband.Gentle hugs,AzzieOn 3/13/2008 KatyB wrote:My husband died yesterday morning at home.  He fought hard until the end. Words seem so inadequate to describe how much I love him and miss him.  He was an inspiration to all who knew him.  I am sorry for those of you that are fighting this battle and hope every day doctors and researchers are working to come up with a cure or at least improve the survival rates by detecting the disease earlier.My sons were here over the past 3 days to help me care for my husband and witnessed much of his end of life struggle.  They are all in shock and doing the best they can to cope with the loss of their father and step-father.  My husband never wanted to put any of us through this. I know we were able to give him some peace in doing this and showed him with our care how much we valued his love and our life together by staying by his side and honoring his wish to die at home.I wish all of you the strength to get through this and I will continue to hope for miracles!KatyB   Stever1955 Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT Katy-So sorry you lost the battle. I'm glad your sons were there for both of you, and that you have each other for comfort. Being with someone who is dying is a blessed journey, but so painful to let go of those we love. You will remain in my prayers, and I wish for many blessings on all of you. May your dear hearts heal and find peace in knowing you were there. tongrenhealer Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT KatyB,I am so very sorry for your loss. I know you and your sons will cherish every moment you have spent with him. I will keep you all in my prayers  GeorgesGirl Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT Dear Katy, I have just resently joined this forum and have not written until today.  My husband just finished chemo and radiation for esophageal cancer.  He got so sick from the FU5 chemo that they had to lower the dose even though he is in a study.  He was in the hospital for almost a week dehydrated, etc.  lost from 214 to 170 lbs.  What a nasty disease this is.  But he is so optimistic and such a wonderful husband and father to our boys, their wives and the grands.  He is now talking about esophageal surgery.  Did your husband get that far in his battle?  Know I will pray for you dear.  We have great faith in a great God and what else could we lean on?  God Bless You grannie2 Sat, 15 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 3/13/2008 KatyB wrote:My husband died yesterday morning at home.  He fought hard until the end. Words seem so inadequate to describe how much I love him and miss him.  He was an inspiration to all who knew him.  I am sorry for those of you that are fighting this battle and hope every day doctors and researchers are working to come up with a cure or at least improve the survival rates by detecting the disease earlier.My sons were here over the past 3 days to help me care for my husband and witnessed much of his end of life struggle.  They are all in shock and doing the best they can to cope with the loss of their father and step-father.  My husband never wanted to put any of us through this. I know we were able to give him some peace in doing this and showed him with our care how much we valued his love and our life together by staying by his side and honoring his wish to die at home.I wish all of you the strength to get through this and I will continue to hope for miracles!KatyBMy heart goes out to you and your sons. This disease is the hardest thing to deal with, and I hope and pray your memories of the good times you enjoyed together will eventually wipe away the pain and stress of going thru this difficult time.  My husband Mike is now in hospice at home, after 2 rounds of chemo treatments. He was diagnosed in May 2006 and was given 2 years with treatment. It's almost 2 years now, and he too has fought valliantly, with little complaining.  He too has lost over 100 lbs, and is now on morphine pills and liquid amongst a host of other drugs. Our kitchen counter looks like a pharmacy. The morphine treatment is actually stabilizing his pain situation.We don't understand why this sort of thing happens, but know in our hearts that eventually the Lord will triumph over the beast!  My prayers are with you.  Was your husband an Agent Orange Vietnam Vet?  My husband was in Vietnam 1968-70, and we recently had an appeal denied again from the VA for service connection to this cancer. I plan on appealing again later -- right now I'm concentrating on our remaining time together. Love and Hugs to you and your family! LindaLloyd Sat, 29 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT