CancerCompass message board discussion started by arrieeelll on 4/9/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,22894,0.htm Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ hi im ariel and im only 15 years old.About a month ago my dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer and it was no big deal they could just take out the kidney and he would be perfect but when they examined the kidney they realized that he was only born with one and that one had be infected with cancer. For the last month my dad has been in and out of the hospital and having many surgeries and going to dialysis evry other day and chemo every three weeks. its really hard on me seeing my dad waking up wiht abrely no hair and i dont really know who to talk to because none of my friends can realy relate to me and i hate talking to my mom about it becuase she gets depressed over it. im going through a really tough time and no one can really tell cause i constantly have a fake smile on to hide my feelings. ariel arrieeelll Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hello Ariel,I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I know how it feels to have someone you love to be diagnosed with cancer. I also know how it feels to be all alone in what you're feeling. Maybe it will help to understand a little about what your dad is going through, and why. Chemo attacks fast growing cells in the body, and in the root of our hair there are fast growing cells, these aren't cancerous, but chemo sometimes doesn't know one bad cell from a good one. Your dad may be sick from time to time, and to give you a simple explaination to why this happens is because chemo kind of throws the body off balance, and makes the body react to this foreign substance in the body. He may experience being tired, sick to the stomach, and even throwing up, but these are very common side affects to the drug. Lot's of times the patient's has to go through these side affects in order to get better. I remember when my sister had cancer and as I watched her go through her treatments, I found there were so many times I'd go to my room and cry. It hurt so much to see her sick. But I learned so much about me at this time too. God allowed me to be her care taker for a reason. I've always had a sensitive heart, but my heart developed more compassion, more empathy, and more love than I'd ever dreamed possible. It's so hard to see a love one going through this. So, what I did, is this. Each morning before starting my day, I'd ask the Lord to give me the strength to be what my sister needed for the day. If she needed more laughter, she got it, if she needed more hugs, she got it, if she needed to hear more of, I love you, she got it. I listened to my heart to what it was saying she needed for each day. There were a few times she needed to cry, and you know what she got? A sister lying beside her crying with her. We don't always know the "reasons" why people we love get sick, but we are there for them for a reason. I sometimes think maybe  God wants us to be a little unselfish, and to focus our attention on someone else. When we do this, we are giving of ourselves with a love that is so pure, and so unselfish. We are freer with our love, our words of affection, and we become a softer person. I only pray, you'll stop each morning, and even several times a day and ask the Lord, Lord what does my dad need me to do today. What does he need to see in me. I'd also go to my room, and cry, cry until there's no more tears to cry, crying releases the pain from our hearts, and then I'd ask the Lord to strengthen you, and to give you understanding and peace while you are on this journey with your dad. I also know the importance of having someone to talk too while we're going through this, if your dad is in the hospital any length of time, there is a Chaplin at the hospital. They are there for people who have a love one that is sick.Please know I know what you're going through. I have an awesome friend who I love dearly who has cancer too. He means the world to me. There are day's he is so sick, and can't really talk a lot, but you know, I feel it's the greatest honor to just sit by his side, and just wink at him, or to just sit and watch tv with him. Precious one, I know it's not easy, and there are no easy answers, but what I've written has given me the strength to be there for the people I love. I pray the Lord, will give you guidance, understanding, and peace throughout this, and know I'm praying for you, and your dad and your mom.Patricia    pooprecious Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 4/9/2008 arrieeelll wrote:hi im ariel and im only 15 years old.About a month ago my dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer and it was no big deal they could just take out the kidney and he would be perfect but when they examined the kidney they realized that he was only born with one and that one had be infected with cancer. For the last month my dad has been in and out of the hospital and having many surgeries and going to dialysis evry other day and chemo every three weeks. its really hard on me seeing my dad waking up wiht abrely no hair and i dont really know who to talk to because none of my friends can realy relate to me and i hate talking to my mom about it becuase she gets depressed over it. im going through a really tough time and no one can really tell cause i constantly have a fake smile on to hide my feelings. arielHi! Ariel,  I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I am a Dad also with a 15 yr old son. While I don't know what your going through I can imagine what my son feels. I know it's hard to see yor Dad sick but I can promise you he is very concerned about your feelings. I would suggest you express your feelings to him. If you ever want to vent your feelings anger or whatever I will give it a listen. My prayers are for your Dad &your family Take Care    john  jorolo1 Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thank you so much, that message made me cry just thinking how true it was and how much of an impact that made on me and how i see cancer. I really cant thank  you enough but i really hope you friend and your sister are doing well and i will most definatly keep them in my prayers.thanks,ariel arrieeelll Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thank you so much it really meant alot that you replied to my message. I will most definatly try and talk to my dad more about how i feel and what im going through and i will prey each and everyday for you family. thank you so muchariel arrieeelll Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT