CancerCompass message board discussion started by BeeDee on 4/22/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23310,0.htm Thu, 21 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thu, 21 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ I'm wondering how to help my spouse cope.  He is VERY caring and supportive, but sometimes gets down "thinking about living without you".  We are new at this as I've only recently been diagnosed.  There are no support groups in our area. Anyone have suggestions?Thanks - Bee Dee BeeDee Tue, 22 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi there!My husband had more trouble accepting my diagnosis than I did. Sounds like you may be in the same position. It'sa cliche, but time WILL help him. I was dx'd last August, and after amonth of avoidance by intellectualizing (studying, putting togethergraphs, researching, etc.) we finally came up for air. My wonderfulhusband simply fell apart. He signed up for early social securitypayments and we went on an extended motorhome vacation, because hecouldn't stand thinking that we'd never be able to do it together. Nowwe're coming up on a year since diagnosis, and we've both calmed down alot. He's working short contracts here and there -- a good plan sinceat one point he was spending his retirement choosing drapes for ourhouse! He scanned photos, organized his tools, and finally decided thatI wasn't going to die right away! (I'm smiling as I write this.)Sogive your husband time to grieve the dreams. And maybe, just maybe,you'll both be able to realize some of those dreams. I have a blooddraw once a month -- easy to arrange no matter where I am; just get anorder from your doc on an rx pad. (My husband still graphs my CBCs. Ithink it gives him a modicum of control -- a feeling that he's doingSOMETHING! He's a guy, after all.) FWIW, I'm 57. Husband is64. We did have some tensions as we tried to absorb our new reality,but are doing okay for now. Maybe that's becauseI I'm doing okay for now. We'll see how well we cope as the disease progresses.  Good Luck to you!Karen   Garnetta Mon, 02 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT