CancerCompass message board discussion started by 1sandy on 4/25/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23431,0.htm Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ my husband died on march 15 of pancrease cancer.  I am trying to put my life back together but i miss him so much, ronnie was my best friend and i cant stop thinking about all i could have done, or all i didn;t do. i cry so much  me and ronnie were friends for thrity five years, then nine years ago we married and it was the best marriage anyone could have asked for.  we were really soul mates.  i am writing this becasue i do all kinds of things to get pass my sadness.  everyday i have to fake it and no one really knows the pain i am in,  i think i am so alone. my husband was gay and so no one takes his death seriously i guess believing we were not really in love , but we had the perfect marriage.  I love him so much. 1sandy Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am so sorry about the loss of your husband to pancreas cancer.  I know the grief is unbearable and there is no relief from it as my husband died February 22 of stomach cancer.  It's as though we are in a dream, isn't it?  I can't believe he is gone.  It's been two months and I still cry multiple times a day, and act like I am in a fog.  It's so lonely.  I can only advise you to keep your wonderful memories with Ronnie in your heart and know that you had a good life together.  You did what you did for him out of love and he knows that now.  You will be together again.  Keep strong.Diane  Anniedips Sat, 26 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT