CancerCompass message board discussion started by Kevin450 on 5/5/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23772,0.htm Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ I want to thank everyone for the love and support that i have received at this web site since my mom was diagnosed with stage IV gastric adenocarcinoma. The dementia is setting in and she is down to 95lbs. She sleeps most of the day and I can hardly get her to eat. She is currentl in hospice at home and doesn't want chemo. I have to put icy hot on her for the pain along with her pain meds. Her arms are extremley skinny and fluid is building up in her  abdomen because the cancer metastisized to liver. She is approaching 18 months of a two year prognosis. My question is what should I expect from here on in and for how much longer. I don't want to see my mother die, but I'd rather see her resting in peace than to suffer a slow death. Kevin450 Mon, 05 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thanks for sharing what you and your mom are going through with us. While I can't help you out on the longevity question, do know that you and your mom are in my thoughts today. Oaklanders Tue, 06 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am so sorry you are at the stage where you are writing questions such as these.  I do know though it must be natural as I too wondered the same things with my mother.I am not a professional by any means but, from what you describe the end is approaching to your mother's battle.  There are signs you can watch for.  Signs you may want to be aware of in order to be more prepared.  I would ask your Hospice help to suggest any literature they may have or know of.  I looked over some books while in the hospital with my mother the last few days she was alive.  They were about the last stages before death and some had more in depth looks at death too.  Like some peoples personal experiences with a loved ones dying.  I never ever imagined I would have read a book or books like that but, when my mom's time was coming to an end I needed to be informed.Please know you and your mother are in my thoughts and prayers.  Keep Smiling... Tue, 06 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT thank you. Kevin450 Wed, 07 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am so sorry you must go through this.  I lost my Mom in October after just less than a year's battle with colon cancer and now my Dad was diagnosed with cancer in February (Mom was only 63, Dad is 65!).I googled hospice and found extremely helpful information.  Stuff you never want to read and experience but is so important to know what is going on.My Mom was bedridded for almost two months before she passed.  First food stopped, then drinking.  We never forced, but always offered.  We used a soft sponge to keep her moth wet and chapstick as well for her lips.  She began to sleep more and then talking pretty much stopped.  It was extremely painful and hurtful to watch.  She had delusions of people not there as well as family members who had passed.  We had hospice in and medications helped Mom not be aware so much.  I spent as much time as possible with her, sleeping there almost every night and lying in bed with her during the day.  Her feet became cold, which is the first sign that bloodflow is not working.  Her output became very little as well.  She was cathed since she was bedridden.  I am happy she did not die alone, Dad was with her.  I happy she was free of pain and in heaven.  I miss her more each day and wish NO ONE ever had to experience this.  I still have nightmares, but I know my place was to be there for Mom.  Her brother couldn't handle it and did not come and see her... I get angry because it is certainly harder on the patient and important for them to have the love of family and friends.  Again I am sorry you must experience this.  Try to be strong and although your Mom know you are there and love, her keep telling her!  I will pray for you and your Mom and take care!   Msmittens Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT thk u 4 all your luv. Kevin450 Sun, 11 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT thk u 4 all ur luv Kevin450 Sun, 11 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT