CancerCompass message board discussion started by rose01 on 5/6/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23798,0.htm Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ I hope this isn't an insensitive or dumb question but I'd like to know how others have approached this. If and when there comes a point that the treatment is taking such a toll on quality of life that it's not worth it, how do you recognize this point??  Do you let the doctors tell you first that they've done all they can?  Do you just "instinctly" know?  I want myself and my husband to fight this cursed disease with all we have but at the same time, doesn't this have to be weighed against quality of time and living life on one's own terms?  I really don't have any answers right now.  In fact, I pray we never get to this crossroad. rose01 Tue, 06 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT My goodness, you someone to ask that question, I'm assuming you've had a long hard road at this battle.  I won't even pretend to relate on this matter because my treatment thus far has been relatively painless.  I would have to say, the fight is over when you don't want to fight anymore.  If you aren't ready to give up then don't, but I sure hope that your quality of life isn't worse then the alternative. AngieKeep your head up. angieml Tue, 06 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT I think that the ill person just has to say, I don't want to fight anymore.  The caregiver MUST leave it up to the sick one and assure them that they will fight with them as  long as they want to fight.  There was one time in 2004 when I had suffered through surgery and was in the middle of chemo and rad, I was throwing up like crazy and diahrea was hitting me every hour, I had sores in my mouth and as far down my throat as I could see and this had been going own for weeks, my daughter said Mom its okay if you want to give up and I was on my way back from the bathroom with her holding me up and I remember saying maybe tomorrow sweethart, but not today. Today I'm at work, just got back from the beach this weekend I feel wonderful, but a little apprehensive because this Friday I go back for the usual CT and blood workup.  But its been four years!!!!!  I know howyou feel about giving up,but you can't, it will get better.My prayers are with you and all of your loved ones.Gerri  Gerri Tue, 06 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/6/2008 rose01 wrote:I hope this isn't an insensitive or dumb question but I'd like to know how others have approached this. If and when there comes a point that the treatment is taking such a toll on quality of life that it's not worth it, how do you recognize this point??  Do you let the doctors tell you first that they've done all they can?  Do you just "instinctly" know?  I want myself and my husband to fight this cursed disease with all we have but at the same time, doesn't this have to be weighed against quality of time and living life on one's own terms?  I really don't have any answers right now.  In fact, I pray we never get to this crossroad.My sister had surgery, chemo and radiation for breast cancer.  She was to be on tamoxifen and effexor for five years.  She did well through the surgery and chemo/radiation treatments. After three years on tamoxifen/effexor she has decided to stop taking the medicine.  The medicine had diminished her quality of life.  She was very energetic prior to the treatments. While on the medicine (and they tried different types) she could not sleep at night, her whole body was in pain.  She used to walk five miles a day; on the medicine she had difficulty walking two blocks.  Since not being on the medicine, she feels like her old self.  She has her quality of life back.  She sometimes worries if she made the right decision, but she is so much less stressed now.  We are firm believers that stress plays a big role in cancer.  She keeps up on her mammograms, bloodwork etc and feels if she keeps a close watch, she will be able to catch the cancer if it comes back.It is a hard decision.  There have been lots of prayers.  Goof luck! stringer13 Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/8/2008 stringer13 wrote: On 5/6/2008 rose01 wrote:I hope this isn't an insensitive or dumb question but I'd like to know how others have approached this. If and when there comes a point that the treatment is taking such a toll on quality of life that it's not worth it, how do you recognize this point??  Do you let the doctors tell you first that they've done all they can?  Do you just "instinctly" know?  I want myself and my husband to fight this cursed disease with all we have but at the same time, doesn't this have to be weighed against quality of time and living life on one's own terms?  I really don't have any answers right now.  In fact, I pray we never get to this crossroad.My sister had surgery, chemo and radiation for breast cancer.  She was to be on tamoxifen and effexor for five years.  She did well through the surgery and chemo/radiation treatments. After three years on tamoxifen/effexor she has decided to stop taking the medicine.  The medicine had diminished her quality of life.  She was very energetic prior to the treatments. While on the medicine (and they tried different types) she could not sleep at night, her whole body was in pain.  She used to walk five miles a day; on the medicine she had difficulty walking two blocks.  Since not being on the medicine, she feels like her old self.  She has her quality of life back.  She sometimes worries if she made the right decision, but she is so much less stressed now.  We are firm believers that stress plays a big role in cancer.  She keeps up on her mammograms, bloodwork etc and feels if she keeps a close watch, she will be able to catch the cancer if it comes back.It is a hard decision.  There have been lots of prayers.  Goof luck!Sorry for the typo:(  Good luck!  stringer13 Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/8/2008 stringer13 wrote: On 5/6/2008 rose01 wrote:I hope this isn't an insensitive or dumb question but I'd like to know how others have approached this. If and when there comes a point that the treatment is taking such a toll on quality of life that it's not worth it, how do you recognize this point??  Do you let the doctors tell you first that they've done all they can?  Do you just "instinctly" know?  I want myself and my husband to fight this cursed disease with all we have but at the same time, doesn't this have to be weighed against quality of time and living life on one's own terms?  I really don't have any answers right now.  In fact, I pray we never get to this crossroad.My sister had surgery, chemo and radiation for breast cancer.  She was to be on tamoxifen and effexor for five years.  She did well through the surgery and chemo/radiation treatments. After three years on tamoxifen/effexor she has decided to stop taking the medicine.  The medicine had diminished her quality of life.  She was very energetic prior to the treatments. While on the medicine (and they tried different types) she could not sleep at night, her whole body was in pain.  She used to walk five miles a day; on the medicine she had difficulty walking two blocks.  Since not being on the medicine, she feels like her old self.  She has her quality of life back.  She sometimes worries if she made the right decision, but she is so much less stressed now.  We are firm believers that stress plays a big role in cancer.  She keeps up on her mammograms, bloodwork etc and feels if she keeps a close watch, she will be able to catch the cancer if it comes back.It is a hard decision.  There have been lots of prayers.  Goof luck! hi rose o1.that is the stage i just chose to go on i  went off all my cancer drugs after having surgery in 1996 in the ducts they said it was not cancer.then in dec 1999 it was i had a partial mastectomy then 3 weeks later  a full mastectomy .after chemo and radiation treatments i.went on the tamoxifin for 5 years almost to the day of previous surgery   the cancer  came back in  2005.same area left side operated again after this operation tried femara first for a year this gave me a very low bone density.went and tried arimidex after  that and this time it came back on the scar tissue of previous operation.back again for operation dec 2007 .all the times i found it .since a lot of testing he put me   feb 1st. on aromasin .this was worse for the side effects so on march 27th i chose to take control of my life again and go of my medication.feeling much better since.i think that there are too many toxins beeing created by all these test drugs and they are not tried long enough before they are out on the market.so now i chose quality over quantity i will be 66 this month .and i lost a brother 2 years ago to g.i.st.cancer he was 56.also my dad died of pancreatic cancer at 65.think positive and you are right about the sterss .live each dayto the fullest .  Tulips Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT My father is 78 years old and has had angiosarcoma (blood vessel cancer) for three years.  He received FIVE different types of chemotherapy.  The very first one really helped, but the oncologist "wasn't satisfied" with results and wanted to try other ones.  Not a good thing.  The last combination chemo nearly killed him.  He could not eat, lost several pounds, needed repeated blood transfusions (he has a pre-existent anemia), and slept all the time.  It was awful.  When the oncologist said "I really have something I think can help him out," my father along with my mother and my siblings said "No thanks."  Enough was enough.  We're talking QUALITY of life, not quantity and my father is doing as well as can be expected at this point in time.  My father also has diabetes, Parkinson's disease, and now Parkinson's dementia, along with the anemia.  I think he has enough to deal with and chemo would only make him worse off than he is right now.  He regained the 10 lbs, is eating very well, and NEVER complains.  He doesn't feel sorry for himself either.  He is a 12 year colon cancer survivor too.  He has endured more than most people do.I asked the dermatologist who diagnosed his angiosarcoma when doctors say enough is enough regarding their patients care.  She said they must do everything humanly possible before telling a patient that.  Sometimes I don't think that happens.  I think doctors have their "quotas" and protocols to deal with.  They've got grants and other money coming in to help with research and clinical trials.  I think they forget about the patients and deal with stats.  It's not fair.  My dad's oncologist was upset when he refused more chemo, then said "You've endured so much.  I can't blame you."  Personally, I think you know in your heart when you've had enough.  Bottom line is quality of life. I wish you and your family lots of luck and pray for all families dealing with cancer.  2spaniels Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT That is a question I ask myself every time they start a new regimine of treatments.   The pain, the cost, the anemia, the fevers, the anger, the depression, I often wonder if it is all worth it. Then I look at my kids and I think that if I stop trying, I will lose the time I have with them.  My wife died of colon cancer in '04 and it was a short fight (41 days) but I know how she wanted to hold on to the family-- no matter the pain.  I am trying to be that strong.   My fight has been 4 years, 4 rounds of chemo and I am in my 3rd round of radiation now.  The doctors are still finding new mets. as it spreads even in treatment, but I keep trudging on... I guess it is easier to follow their advice than have to make a hard decision all by myself.Thanks for asking this, I was afraid to ask myself much less others.  You helped me 'figure out' how I feel.Good luck Travisdean Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT My mother died of pneumonia last year after battling cancer for four years. RIght to the very last second she fought to be alive. SHe had (as many do) a terrible terrible time - she had jaw cancer and was unable to eat/drink/swallow and coughed endlessly, i could go on and on, but basically many would say her quality of life was lower than low.... BUT she wanted to live absolutely. And in my view, if the patient wants to live (bearing in mind low points where they may feel differently, but you can work through these and it is only if this is constant that it is more obvious they do not want to live, that things change), then EVERYTHING must be done to keep them alive. My so called doctors decided she had had enough, and refused her treatment. What can i say... don't EVER let them tell you this. Their stats told them a 71 year old wasn't worth saving. They mistakenly thought the cancer had gone to her brain, when infact when she died she was cancer-free and her 'hallucinations' were due to a drug she was taking for secretions. AN allergic reaction. Your instinct, and the patients feelings are everything. Doctors tell you stuff, but they can only guide to a point. They too are learning by every case. ANd making huge mistakes on the way. Many are marvellous, almost super human. But never make the mistake i made of being too scared to counter them. My very best wishes.... so many survive the dreaded disease now, for me, Diet, positive thinking (i hate that expression!), and love are it...Libby. libbyr Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi I hope this helps  The thing is if you have cancer you dont  have to die. You see  the reasion I say this is I have prostrate cancer. I was told after I had a Biopsies that I had prostate cancer with a Gleason of eight and a psa of 9.8. I  was told  to get it out fast  I had Cancer so I did what the doctors told me, over a six months period I spent over $3000.00 seeing Specialist. Flying to Sydney and then to Brisbane. Each wanted to charge me $20.000 for the Operation a Radical prostatectomy I found out my medical insurance would only have  paid out $10.000 for the operation. I it seemed some how would have to come up with the rest. The Doctors  wouldn't do the operation any way. they said I weighed to much As at the time my hight was 180cm and  my weight was 150kg. One wanted me to slim down to 120kg the other  wanted me to go down to 100kls before they do the Operation. the damage that this Radical prostatectomy Operation dos is Frightening. At this time angry and disillusion with the medical perfection I went for a walk I come across one of my neighbours , Jeff who use to live up the road from me. He told me he once had  lung cancer he said a few years ago it was poking out of the ribs in the his chest he said he herd I had cancer and he come over to see me he showed me two photos. When the fist photo was taken (years before) he was told he only had two or three weeks to live he showed me the two photos of himself the fist one showed a whole pile of bumps and lumps coming out of the frount of he's chest  the other taken months later. was normal it was amazing. he said  He's been  in remission. for a number of years now. amazed I said How? He said there are three main things that cause cancer Diet Toxins and Stress he told me he was put on meger dos of vitamins plus a strick diet of veg  he all so used a product called Liquid Zeolite for the toxins  I said Zeo-What. He said I got it of the internet it works. he told me go to my computer. Go to google and just to tipe in Zeolite so I did. This gave me hope he said when he started taking all this .Only a few days later he could feel it starting to  work as his chest felt ichy. So he knew some thing was happing. He told me he was taking a large dayly dos of Vitamin B and C plus 15 drops 4 x a day of the Zeolite a few months later after one of  the x-ray showed the tumours almost gone  he upped it to 20 drops 4 x a day. he said hes seen a lot of people use thes not one has told him it dident work. He also told me if you think your going to die you will. You have to have hope. And I do. it been over a year now  I'm now on a diet but I wont be having any operation. Im still fighting the cancer and I can feel Im wining I using two main compond now. One is Liquid Zeolite witch they say  removes toxions. I also on  other things  it a natural product called N-Tense it got a combination of Graviola with 7 other rainforest plants and Graviola the maker says it boost up the immune system. these two products in them selfs  are very powerfull cancer fighting drugs the Liquid Zeolite cost me about 33 dollors a bottle and I needed 15 bottles and N-tense. Cost me $55.00. Both target cancer cells. They cost me all to gether $555.00 it a bit cheeper then $20,000 for the operation. Talking to the right  people. I know there is no known cure for cancer. Once we get it we have it for life. All we can then do is boost up our immune system so it can fight it. And that for the next 20 so  years of my life is  what I'm going to do. only afters a month on the vitamins and the Liquid Zeolite I felt i was  geting better I can feel it  now I have more energy and at last I can go to the loo and not take forever to go. you dont have to die with Cancer. in the last 12 months I found out that  most of my doctors dont know about other treatments and they also feel they dont want to know if you want to find out for your self go down to the shop and get a bottle of 1000mg of Bio C or vitamin C start taking a 1000mg a day to start with. Beleave me you will start to feel better with in a week or two  any one wants to reply feel free.God bless you RayGod bless you Ray jcr65566 Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT My heart and prayers go out to you and your husband. My sister fought ovarian cancer for over 7 years. She was very active and a real fighter. Her biggest struggle was with the fact that she wasn't able to live the life she used to. She passed away in Dec. '07 and toward the end I know she was just fighting it for the family. You could see she was tired. She waited till they told her there was nothing more they could do. We encouraged her to fight it but I feel now that might have been selfishness on our part. She died within 3 days of them telling her that and I really feel she was in much more pain than she wanted us to see. So yes...I think that has to be the patient's decision after seeing what she went through. Jmbfeb29 Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/8/2008 Travisdean wrote:That is a question I ask myself every time they start a new regimine of treatments.   The pain, the cost, the anemia, the fevers, the anger, the depression, I often wonder if it is all worth it. Then I look at my kids and I think that if I stop trying, I will lose the time I have with them.  My wife died of colon cancer in '04 and it was a short fight (41 days) but I know how she wanted to hold on to the family-- no matter the pain.  I am trying to be that strong.   My fight has been 4 years, 4 rounds of chemo and I am in my 3rd round of radiation now.  The doctors are still finding new mets. as it spreads even in treatment, but I keep trudging on... I guess it is easier to follow their advice than have to make a hard decision all by myself.Thanks for asking this, I was afraid to ask myself much less others.  You helped me 'figure out' how I feel.Good luck i'm so sorry for this tradgedy in you life, and you do have areason to keep on going... i am a bc survivor, 2x cvc survivor, and in my 2nd fight with non-hodgkins lymphoma, i do not do chemo, nor rads due to ineligiblity, i sign up for experimental research studies thet use alternative medicines. to this very day i'm a single mom of 4 elementary school children, am active in the pta and live, really live each day for its own to the fullest i refuse to waste a day squabbling about envy or petiness, and i treat myself to every craving imagineable because i've earned it. I also eat right, don't drink sodas or caffeine and excercize daily (yes sometimes i'm tired) but thats not an excuse so i do less but don't skip it completely, if i get tired i sit down, if i need a nap i take a nap...cancer takes away our ability to sleep right and rest well, so when it gives those feelings back to you take advantage of it and follow your body...i think that is the best we can do for ourselves...live well OUTDOORZY Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Gerri on here is exactly right!! I am a two time cancer  survivor, I have been thru it all. surgery, surgery again, chemo, chemo again!! It was a nightmare. I had every side effect imaginable. I too also thought I couldnt take another day. Well here 2 years later cancer free I can look back and be thankful I didnt ever give up. There was  a point where I did think I couldnt do this anymore. I called the doctor and told him I wanted to lay off the chemo for a month. It worked. It gave me a nice break, sometimes I took two weeks off. It took longer but my quality of life was so much better. Please hang in there, both of you and if need be call the shots where the doctor is concerned. You know your body better than anyone. By the way I had colon cancer stage2 the first time and stage 4 colon cancer with mets to the stomach. I have had a total of 37 inches of colon removed and half my stomach. To look at me today you would have no idea I had been thru the hell Id been thru. Take care, we will all be praying for you. This sight is a great support group. I have met some very nice people here. Please keep us posted. take care Skittlebug Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Your question is on the mind of almost every patient receiving treatment. I was diagnosed in Dec. 1999 and began treatment January 2000. It wasn't a Happy New Year. Within 2 months I could no longer work and within 9 months I had gone from 210 lbs. to 130 lbs. and was then diagnosed with stage IV matastesized melanoma. You've heard the saying "it usually get's worse before it get's better" well I am living proof.As a then 40 year old man with a beautiful wife and 6 year old daughter the most difficult part of treatment was watching the effect it had on those I love. I could see their "quality of life" deminish and it was all due to this battle being fought in my body. After 2 1/2 years of this war I wanted it to be over but I had a family, friends and faith that would not let me give up.The "quality" is what you make of life. It doesn't matter if your battling cancer, depression or poverty. These can be "side effects" of treatment and life in general. The most important thing is to never give up. I wanted to and those who love me wouldn't except it. It's 2008 and I still have spots lighting up in my body but I feel great. Life is good because death holds no fear for me. It is no longer a curse but a promise that some day I will be a new creation. Until then, I will live the best life possible. No matter what may come.May you receive the blessing God has prepared for you.ByFaith Byfaith Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT This very dilemma has now surfaced in our family.  My brother has been fighting stage 4 kidney cancer for 9 months.  The kidney was removed last August, along with several lymph nodes and another tumor that had spread to his groin area.  He has had several bouts of both radiation and chemo because the cancer spread to his brain and lower back in February but the last bout of radiation on his back really hurt one of his legs and so to avoid a permanent wheelchair, he was sent to a rehab hospital for a week.  He came home a week ago and with the help of his daughter and son-in-law with whom he resides, he has been coping very well.  However, his doctors decided that nothing else could (or should) be done, mentioning the dreaded "hospice" word -- which "hospice" is now his home and the doctors will not do anything else, saying that another bout with chemo could either kill him or make him susceptible to dangerous infections.  I believe this news led to his stress-filled depression two days ago and yesterday he was in such pain that the nurse that stays with him during the day decided to put him on morphine and declared he is at the end -- whether it be hours, days or weeks -- that it would be very soon. We have all been planning a big family reunion (at his request back in January) for next week in his hometown 1,000 miles away from most of us, and that reunion has been keeping him so vibrant and happy.  And then, because of his doctors, he may not make it to next week.  His daughter has been constantly reminding him of the reunion and telling him he CAN fight it more with chemo (as one doctor said) after the reunion and yesterday his physical health just totally did a 180 -- he's back to feeling good and wanting to fight on.  I believe that stress and lack of hope will only begin the downward process of pain-filled death -- even on the morphine.  But hope, love and family could make whatever time is left a beautiful part of his life. Gashenka Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Ray I could not AGREE more with your suggestions. Before I found some info on Zeolite I started a High dose of Vitamin C intravenously and I had results right away. My whole body was repairing itself because I was DEPLETED from vit.C completely.I also take Helixor-mistletoe(not Iscador) as a shot 3 times a day and I have therapeutic symptoms that are welcoming thing. I feel good and I wish lots of people would switch to this method and even combine it with chemo.But one can only decide for themselve.Take care, Sunes. Sunes Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/8/2008 Sunes wrote:Ray I could not AGREE more with your suggestions. Before I found some info on Zeolite I started a High dose of Vitamin C intravenously and I had results right away. My whole body was repairing itself because I was DEPLETED from vit.C completely.I also take Helixor-mistletoe(not Iscador) as a shot 3 times a day and I have therapeutic symptoms that are welcoming thing. I feel good and I wish lots of people would switch to this method and even combine it with chemo.But one can only decide for themselve.Take care, Sunes.Sunes your your on the right track with vitamin C and Zeolite  Iv learn over the last year that that with canser the whole body sick not just a small part of it. Be carful taking Helixor-mistletoe as it  has cytostatic effect on individual cell lines. in other words it weeking the lineing of the cell wall thats how it works on cancer  I wouldent take it long term  Iv herd of people taking insulan with the chemo beause cancer absurbs insulan faster then normal cells it been a year now and I feel better then I have for a long while I dont know why but people dont beleave me when I say Im geting over canser  I can see it in there eyes. will take care  God bless Ray  jcr65566 Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/8/2008 jcr65566 wrote:Hi I hope this helps  The thing is if you have cancer you dont  have to die. You see  the reasion I say this is I have prostrate cancer. I was told after I had a Biopsies that I had prostate cancer with a Gleason of eight and a psa of 9.8. I  was told  to get it out fast  I had Cancer so I did what the doctors told me, over a six months period I spent over $3000.00 seeing Specialist. Flying to Sydney and then to Brisbane. Each wanted to charge me $20.000 for the Operation a Radical prostatectomy I found out my medical insurance would only have  paid out $10.000 for the operation. I it seemed some how would have to come up with the rest. The Doctors  wouldn't do the operation any way. they said I weighed to much As at the time my hight was 180cm and  my weight was 150kg. One wanted me to slim down to 120kg the other  wanted me to go down to 100kls before they do the Operation. the damage that this Radical prostatectomy Operation dos is Frightening. At this time angry and disillusion with the medical perfection I went for a walk I come across one of my neighbours , Jeff who use to live up the road from me. He told me he once had  lung cancer he said a few years ago it was poking out of the ribs in the his chest he said he herd I had cancer and he come over to see me he showed me two photos. When the fist photo was taken (years before) he was told he only had two or three weeks to live he showed me the two photos of himself the fist one showed a whole pile of bumps and lumps coming out of the frount of he's chest  the other taken months later. was normal it was amazing. he said  He's been  in remission. for a number of years now. amazed I said How? He said there are three main things that cause cancer Diet Toxins and Stress he told me he was put on meger dos of vitamins plus a strick diet of veg  he all so used a product called Liquid Zeolite for the toxins  I said Zeo-What. He said I got it of the internet it works. he told me go to my computer. Go to google and just to tipe in Zeolite so I did. This gave me hope he said when he started taking all this .Only a few days later he could feel it starting to  work as his chest felt ichy. So he knew some thing was happing. He told me he was taking a large dayly dos of Vitamin B and C plus 15 drops 4 x a day of the Zeolite a few months later after one of  the x-ray showed the tumours almost gone  he upped it to 20 drops 4 x a day. he said hes seen a lot of people use thes not one has told him it dident work. He also told me if you think your going to die you will. You have to have hope. And I do. it been over a year now  I'm now on a diet but I wont be having any operation. Im still fighting the cancer and I can feel Im wining I using two main compond now. One is Liquid Zeolite witch they say  removes toxions. I also on  other things  it a natural product called N-Tense it got a combination of Graviola with 7 other rainforest plants and Graviola the maker says it boost up the immune system. these two products in them selfs  are very powerfull cancer fighting drugs the Liquid Zeolite cost me about 33 dollors a bottle and I needed 15 bottles and N-tense. Cost me $55.00. Both target cancer cells. They cost me all to gether $555.00 it a bit cheeper then $20,000 for the operation. Talking to the right  people. I know there is no known cure for cancer. Once we get it we have it for life. All we can then do is boost up our immune system so it can fight it. And that for the next 20 so  years of my life is  what I'm going to do. only afters a month on the vitamins and the Liquid Zeolite I felt i was  geting better I can feel it  now I have more energy and at last I can go to the loo and not take forever to go. you dont have to die with Cancer. in the last 12 months I found out that  most of my doctors dont know about other treatments and they also feel they dont want to know if you want to find out for your self go down to the shop and get a bottle of 1000mg of Bio C or vitamin C start taking a 1000mg a day to start with. Beleave me you will start to feel better with in a week or two  any one wants to reply feel free.God bless you RayGod bless you RayRay, I am sooo pleased to hear this news about Zeolite,  I wanted my Mom to look into this (I did some research) but she was up there in age and didn't want to pursue something other than what the docs told her.  She past in Oct. 2007 and never had the TRUE will to beat this.  She however had a rare appendix cancer which spread to her the lining in her stomach (bad news).  I would have given anything to take this fight on for her and often wonder what her last few months would have been without any chemo.  She was 76, in perfect health, golfed three times a week, swam everday, walked all the time, I just don't get it.  I won't get all down and out here but just wanted to say that I'm was thrilled to hear about the Zeolite and good luck to you, you have made my day and hopefully given some hope to others out here.  Take care  Barb Barbpinky Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT I understand your question.  I wish I didn't but I do.  I think that it has to get to a point where the cure is worse than the disease.  I know that they are coming up with new cures all the time.  I don't know if the time will come to let go before the cure comes or not.  I do know that you have to take each day as it comes and enjoy the love and beauty in your life as long as you can.  Life gives us struggles.  What we do with them is what our legacy becomes.  Live as much as you can.  Find joy each day, even when you feel truly awful.  Our lives aren't measured by what we have, but the love and joy we share with others.  I hope that you have more good days than bad.  Hope that you can find the good in all things, including this one.  Mystacia Fri, 09 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/6/2008 rose01 wrote:I hope this isn't an insensitive or dumb question but I'd like to know how others have approached this. If and when there comes a point that the treatment is taking such a toll on quality of life that it's not worth it, how do you recognize this point??  Do you let the doctors tell you first that they've done all they can?  Do you just "instinctly" know?  I want myself and my husband to fight this cursed disease with all we have but at the same time, doesn't this have to be weighed against quality of time and living life on one's own terms?  I really don't have any answers right now.  In fact, I pray we never get to this crossroad. Relative to quality v. quantity. I am now considering the same thing. I have been battling NHL off and on since 1999. Right now, because of a third recurrance, I am being told that my best and maybe only option is a bone marrow transplant. I have done 3 different chemo regiments, 3 different mono clonal antibody, 1 radiation, 1 radio isotope, 2 surgeries. I am now starting to think about doing things I want to do and not letting the cancer or treatments dictate what I do in my life. Enjoy your selves. Life is precious. Good luck. Steve stephenalonzo Sat, 10 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT I know what you are going through as my husband has stage 4 esophagul cancer. Last August he was diagnosed and the prognosis was 12-14 months. After having a stent inserted and removed and undergoing some chemo regimes, we are starting to pull back because we have discussed with our children about quality and quantity. If you do not have quality of life, are you really living? We cannot be selfish and want our loved one to linger. I think you know when you feel the sideeffects and pain you are going through are not going to change your prognosis, you need to put things in perspective as to how much more you want to do for you and how much more physically and mentally you are able to handle. We are trying to live each day fully and appreciate the time we have left. We still have things to do and take care of before he passes. He is still undergoing chemo but certain ones are not working and others cause reactions. So we are not giving up but trying to be realistic. Our Dr told us from the beginning what the status looked like and even doing chemo, her diagnosis is staying the same as from the beginning. As much as it hurts, we would rather have less time but a better quality of time in our house. It does take it's toll on the whole family when one has cancer. Don't give up on life but quality comes before quantity in our house. We will keep you in our prayers for strength for all of you.         LAURAANDMIKE Sun, 11 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT I have to agree with Gerri, this should be your husband's decision.  In our case, my husband decided in 2001 that he would forego the two  immunotherapies that was offered for renal cell cancer and that has proven to be the best decision for him.  He has lived with a very good quality of life until just recently.  Many of the folks who took the immunotherapy had little quality of life, became weak and some died from other illnesses due to the weakening of their immune system.   My husband took immune boosters and rarely even got a cold.  But then on 9/11/07, we learned he had two inoperable brain tumors which were both treated with CyberKnife (Radiosurgery) in late Sept and early October.  Now he is alive but suffering from the radiation side effects since these tumors are both in the brain stem area.  But there is also a better chemo drug now available that he is considering.  So again, the choice was his and I supported it.  Prayer and reading aloud the WORD relating to healing has been the most encouraging to me.  Praying for God to lead us in his PEACE vs. being driven by fear has been critically important to us.Blessings for your journey - SusanB, Caregiver Subob Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT I know it's long, but it's really quite a good article from CNN: Stopping cancer treatment: Deciding when the time is rightFrom MayoClinic.com Special to CNN.com You've come a long way. You made it through your initial cancer diagnosis and the shock and fear that came with it. You've been through cancer treatment and the related side effects.But for all you've overcome, if your cancer treatment isn't working as you and your doctor had hoped, you may face another tough step in your journey with cancer. You may eventually need to consider ending your cancer treatment.As you and your doctor decide whether or not to stop your cancer treatment, take time to gather information and assess your goals. What you find might help you understand that stopping your cancer treatment isn't necessarily giving up. Rather, it's a way to gain more control over how you'll spend the rest of your life. Changing your cancer treatment goals When you were first diagnosed with cancer, you and your doctor probably discussed what sort of results you could hope for from your cancer treatment. You probably hoped that your cancer would be cured. But if your first line of cancer treatment didn't work as well as you had expected, you might have realized that your goal of a cure was no longer possible and that you needed to refocus your goal.In life, whether dealing with cancer or anything else, goals aren't fixed and static. Goals must remain flexible and change with the circumstances. This is true when dealing with cancer. Though your first goal, reasonably, is one of cure, sometimes treatment doesn't go as you had hoped. Cure may no longer be a realistic option. Readjusting your goals can help you focus on those things you can still reasonably control.Throughout your cancer treatment, three phases or goals of care exist. When you move from one phase to the next is up to you and your doctor.The quest for a cure. During this phase you and your doctor hope to cure your cancer. You might be willing to put up with a large number of temporary cancer treatment side effects for the very large payoff — to be cured. If your cancer goes into remission, your goal might now be to maintain your health and make sure your cancer doesn't return. Prolonging your life. If your cancer treatment doesn't proceed as expected, or if your cancer was diagnosed at a more advanced stage, the goal of being cured might not be realistic. If this is the case, a reasonable goal might be to control or shrink the cancer or prevent it from spreading. You might be willing to put up with some side effects of cancer treatment. Comfort rather than cure. A time may come when further treatment has little chance of prolonging your life or of shrinking your cancer. In this setting, trying to achieve the highest possible quality of life is a reasonable goal. Side effects must be kept to a minimum because any benefits are likely to be small. At this point, you and your doctor work to keep you feeling as symptom-free as possible. You might now focus your goal on your family and relationships, rather than your cancer. This can be a time of great comfort and even personal growth. Your treatment goals are never static, and you and your doctor should continually discuss your goals — slowly and gradually adjusting them based on your individual circumstances. The process is very gradual and evolves throughout the course of your illness. Making the decision to end treatment Making the transition to comfort and symptomatic (palliative) care can be a difficult choice. Talking about your decision with your doctor and your family might help you sort out your feelings. Some points you might want to discuss include:What's your current condition? Ask your doctor to be honest about your cancer and its progression. And be honest with yourself. Denying that your cancer is progressing, while a natural response, might prevent you from being able to make the most of your time. What's your treatment doing? Is it shrinking your tumor? Is it fighting your cancer? What benefits is it providing, if any? Think about the pros and cons of your treatment. Why are you getting treatment? Is it to shrink the cancer and live longer? What are the chances of this happening? Is it to relieve a symptom, such as pain? Is it working for that symptom? Are you getting these treatments for yourself, or is it because someone in your life wants you to? Is there pressure from your family? Is it worth it? Many people with advanced cancer want to try every possible treatment, for fear they'll let down their loved ones if they don't. But sometimes, getting ineffective treatments only takes you away from your family and loved ones for longer periods of time. What's the downside to treatment? What side effects do you experience? Are they mild or are they intolerable? To what extent does the treatment limit your ability to participate in the activities you enjoy? Consider your quality of life. Is the downside worth it? For the benefit you're receiving from your treatment, are the side effects worth it? What do you want for your future? Will continuing your treatment prevent you from taking part in those activities? In your decision to end your treatment, take into consideration your religious beliefs and other personal values. Discussions with your religious adviser can help you focus your goals. Discussing the end of your treatment with your doctor In a perfect world, the decision of whether or not to end your treatment will be thoroughly discussed between you, your doctor and your loved ones. Your doctor would be sure of the potential benefits of your treatment. And you would be open with your doctor about your fears and hopes for your future.In truth, your doctor might find your prognosis difficult to estimate, and you might be afraid to admit feelings of depression or anxiety. For this reason, it's important that you and your doctor have adequate time to ask each other questions and not be afraid to ask or answer difficult questions about your future.Many times you and your doctor will agree with each other on whether to continue treatment. But in some cases, you might disagree.When your doctor wants to end your treatment, but you don'tIf your doctor approaches you about ending your cancer treatment, you might feel betrayed. You might feel like your doctor wants to give up on you. Maybe you've been denying the fact that your cancer treatment isn't working, and you aren't ready to accept the fact that it might be time to stop.Know that your doctor has your best interests in mind, and listen to your doctor's reasoning. Ask questions. Be honest about how the thought of ending your treatment makes you feel. Just because your doctor suggests no longer treating your cancer, your doctor will always continue to treat you, to assure comfort and relieve symptoms to the best of his or her ability. Ask to see X-rays and other tests that show the progression of your cancer. This might help you better understand your doctor's opinion.You might be reluctant to stop your treatment because you're afraid to lose control over your health. You might also equate ending treatment with giving up. But you can maintain both control and hope without the cancer treatment:Maintaining control. Deciding you don't want any more cancer treatment is a form of control in and of itself. Taking away the treatment means you can have more time with friends and family without the side effects keeping you sidelined. You can control your pain so that you can have a better quality of life. And you still have control over several aspects of your own care, such as what you do and who you see. Restoring hope. If until now hope has come from your expectation of a cure, then ending your treatment might seem like giving up hope. But you can draw hope from other places. Time with friends and family and the comfort your loved ones bring can provide hope, too. Terminally ill people often say that hope comes not from treatment, but through connections with others, spirituality and uplifting memories. If, after discussing your treatment with your doctor and your family, you decide you don't want to stop your treatment, your doctor may be willing to continue treatment. However, if your doctor knows the treatment will only hurt you, he or she can refuse to treat you. If that happens, you can request a review of your case with the hospital or clinic management. Or you can get a second opinion from another doctor.When you want to end your treatment, but your doctor doesn't agreeSometimes pain and other side effects can make your cancer treatment unbearable. This may influence your decision to stop treatment — even if your treatment seems to be working. But pain and side effects can sometimes be remedied so that you're more comfortable as you go through your cancer treatment. Talk to your doctor about getting help for symptoms such as:Pain. Without proper pain control, you might feel like abandoning your treatment before you've given it time to work. A number of solutions — from drugs to complementary therapies, such as meditation — can help you control your symptoms. Your doctor can't detect the severity of your pain, so it's up to you to speak up. Anxiety. It's normal for you to be anxious about what is happening to your health. Anxiety about your future and your family's future — financial, emotional and otherwise — are completely normal. Medications might help you relieve your anxiety. But talking with your doctor or another health care professional can also help you sort out your feelings and provide relief. Depression. Depression is common in people with cancer. But those feelings of hopelessness can contribute to your physical symptoms, making you think you're worse off than you really are. Medications are available for depression, and talking about your feelings can help. Physical signs and symptoms of depression, such as weight loss and fatigue, are difficult for your doctor to diagnose since they can also be caused by your cancer. So tell your doctor if you think you might have depression. After these factors are controlled, you might be in a better frame of mind to make a decision about continuing your cancer treatment. Don't accept pain, anxiety and depression as part of your cancer — they can all be controlled to some extent most of the time.If you simply don't want to continue treatment, that's OK. It's not a sign of weakness. When to stop treatment is a highly personal decision. You can always change your mind and restart your treatment if your doctor agrees.In the end, it's your decision to make, but input from your doctor, other health care workers and your friends and family can be an important part of the decision-making process. Telling your family and friends If you decide to end your cancer treatment, be honest and open with your family and friends when telling them. Talking about your feelings can be therapeutic. It can also help your friends and family come to terms with your decision to end treatment. They'll better understand what they can do to help you and how you want them to behave toward you. You might prefer to keep your feelings to yourself, and that's OK too.It's possible that your friends and family might not understand your decision because of fears about your future or theirs. Talking about your decision to end your treatment and your change in goals might help them overcome these fears.If you have difficulty talking with your friends and family or if they have difficulty accepting your decision, talk to someone trained in counseling, such as a nurse, social worker, psychologist or a member of the clergy. That person might have ideas for you to make talking with your friends and family easier.Your friends and family may just need time to adjust to your decision. Let them know you want them close and still need their support.Talk with your family about your wishes for the future — called advance directives. Discuss whether you'd want to be kept alive if machines were breathing for you. Appoint someone to make health care decisions for you if you were to become incapacitated. What to expect after your treatment ends If you decide to end your treatment, it doesn't mean you'll stop being cared for by doctors and nurses. You and your doctor will discuss your options. You might have a loved one or friend who wants to help take care of you. Or you might decide to use a home nursing service.No matter what you choose, you'll still have regular checkups to make sure your pain is kept at bay and that you're comfortable. Your doctor might have you seen by another doctor who specializes in palliative care — a doctor whose main focus is to make you comfortable, not cure you.Stopping your treatment doesn't mean you'll die immediately. After you end treatment, you could still be active and care for yourself for many months. It's also possible your health could deteriorate rapidly. How long you'll live after ending your treatment will vary depending on the type and stage of your cancer, as well as other health problems you may have.Whether you want to stay at home is up to you and will depend on the level of care you need. You might feel more comfortable in a hospital or nursing home with doctors and nurses nearby at all times. Or you might prefer the comfort of your home with a nurse to check in on you every day. You might choose a hospice program, which is designed for people who generally aren't expected to live more than six months. More time for what matters When ending treatment makes you pain-free and more able to participate in various daily activities, you might find you have more time for friends and family. Being able to be cared for at home might mean you could keep up with hobbies or activities that make you happy.  You've come a long way. You made it through your initial cancer diagnosis and the shock and fear that came with it. You've been through cancer treatment and the related side effects.But for all you've overcome, if your cancer treatment isn't working as you and your doctor had hoped, you may face another tough step in your journey with cancer. You may eventually need to consider ending your cancer treatment.As you and your doctor decide whether or not to stop your cancer treatment, take time to gather information and assess your goals. What you find might help you understand that stopping your cancer treatment isn't necessarily giving up. Rather, it's a way to gain more control over how you'll spend the rest of your life. Changing your cancer treatment goals When you were first diagnosed with cancer, you and your doctor probably discussed what sort of results you could hope for from your cancer treatment. You probably hoped that your cancer would be cured. But if your first line of cancer treatment didn't work as well as you had expected, you might have realized that your goal of a cure was no longer possible and that you needed to refocus your goal.In life, whether dealing with cancer or anything else, goals aren't fixed and static. Goals must remain flexible and change with the circumstances. This is true when dealing with cancer. Though your first goal, reasonably, is one of cure, sometimes treatment doesn't go as you had hoped. Cure may no longer be a realistic option. Readjusting your goals can help you focus on those things you can still reasonably control.Throughout your cancer treatment, three phases or goals of care exist. When you move from one phase to the next is up to you and your doctor.The quest for a cure. During this phase you and your doctor hope to cure your cancer. You might be willing to put up with a large number of temporary cancer treatment side effects for the very large payoff — to be cured. If your cancer goes into remission, your goal might now be to maintain your health and make sure your cancer doesn't return. Prolonging your life. If your cancer treatment doesn't proceed as expected, or if your cancer was diagnosed at a more advanced stage, the goal of being cured might not be realistic. If this is the case, a reasonable goal might be to control or shrink the cancer or prevent it from spreading. You might be willing to put up with some side effects of cancer treatment. Comfort rather than cure. A time may come when further treatment has little chance of prolonging your life or of shrinking your cancer. In this setting, trying to achieve the highest possible quality of life is a reasonable goal. Side effects must be kept to a minimum because any benefits are likely to be small. At this point, you and your doctor work to keep you feeling as symptom-free as possible. You might now focus your goal on your family and relationships, rather than your cancer. This can be a time of great comfort and even personal growth. Your treatment goals are never static, and you and your doctor should continually discuss your goals — slowly and gradually adjusting them based on your individual circumstances. The process is very gradual and evolves throughout the course of your illness. Making the decision to end treatment Making the transition to comfort and symptomatic (palliative) care can be a difficult choice. Talking about your decision with your doctor and your family might help you sort out your feelings. Some points you might want to discuss include:What's your current condition? Ask your doctor to be honest about your cancer and its progression. And be honest with yourself. Denying that your cancer is progressing, while a natural response, might prevent you from being able to make the most of your time. What's your treatment doing? Is it shrinking your tumor? Is it fighting your cancer? What benefits is it providing, if any? Think about the pros and cons of your treatment. Why are you getting treatment? Is it to shrink the cancer and live longer? What are the chances of this happening? Is it to relieve a symptom, such as pain? Is it working for that symptom? Are you getting these treatments for yourself, or is it because someone in your life wants you to? Is there pressure from your family? Is it worth it? Many people with advanced cancer want to try every possible treatment, for fear they'll let down their loved ones if they don't. But sometimes, getting ineffective treatments only takes you away from your family and loved ones for longer periods of time. What's the downside to treatment? What side effects do you experience? Are they mild or are they intolerable? To what extent does the treatment limit your ability to participate in the activities you enjoy? Consider your quality of life. Is the downside worth it? For the benefit you're receiving from your treatment, are the side effects worth it? What do you want for your future? Will continuing your treatment prevent you from taking part in those activities? In your decision to end your treatment, take into consideration your religious beliefs and other personal values. Discussions with your religious adviser can help you focus your goals. Discussing the end of your treatment with your doctor In a perfect world, the decision of whether or not to end your treatment will be thoroughly discussed between you, your doctor and your loved ones. Your doctor would be sure of the potential benefits of your treatment. And you would be open with your doctor about your fears and hopes for your future.In truth, your doctor might find your prognosis difficult to estimate, and you might be afraid to admit feelings of depression or anxiety. For this reason, it's important that you and your doctor have adequate time to ask each other questions and not be afraid to ask or answer difficult questions about your future.Many times you and your doctor will agree with each other on whether to continue treatment. But in some cases, you might disagree.When your doctor wants to end your treatment, but you don'tIf your doctor approaches you about ending your cancer treatment, you might feel betrayed. You might feel like your doctor wants to give up on you. Maybe you've been denying the fact that your cancer treatment isn't working, and you aren't ready to accept the fact that it might be time to stop.Know that your doctor has your best interests in mind, and listen to your doctor's reasoning. Ask questions. Be honest about how the thought of ending your treatment makes you feel. Just because your doctor suggests no longer treating your cancer, your doctor will always continue to treat you, to assure comfort and relieve symptoms to the best of his or her ability. Ask to see X-rays and other tests that show the progression of your cancer. This might help you better understand your doctor's opinion.You might be reluctant to stop your treatment because you're afraid to lose control over your health. You might also equate ending treatment with giving up. But you can maintain both control and hope without the cancer treatment:Maintaining control. Deciding you don't want any more cancer treatment is a form of control in and of itself. Taking away the treatment means you can have more time with friends and family without the side effects keeping you sidelined. You can control your pain so that you can have a better quality of life. And you still have control over several aspects of your own care, such as what you do and who you see. Restoring hope. If until now hope has come from your expectation of a cure, then ending your treatment might seem like giving up hope. But you can draw hope from other places. Time with friends and family and the comfort your loved ones bring can provide hope, too. Terminally ill people often say that hope comes not from treatment, but through connections with others, spirituality and uplifting memories. If, after discussing your treatment with your doctor and your family, you decide you don't want to stop your treatment, your doctor may be willing to continue treatment. However, if your doctor knows the treatment will only hurt you, he or she can refuse to treat you. If that happens, you can request a review of your case with the hospital or clinic management. Or you can get a second opinion from another doctor.When you want to end your treatment, but your doctor doesn't agreeSometimes pain and other side effects can make your cancer treatment unbearable. This may influence your decision to stop treatment — even if your treatment seems to be working. But pain and side effects can sometimes be remedied so that you're more comfortable as you go through your cancer treatment. Talk to your doctor about getting help for symptoms such as:Pain. Without proper pain control, you might feel like abandoning your treatment before you've given it time to work. A number of solutions — from drugs to complementary therapies, such as meditation — can help you control your symptoms. Your doctor can't detect the severity of your pain, so it's up to you to speak up. Anxiety. It's normal for you to be anxious about what is happening to your health. Anxiety about your future and your family's future — financial, emotional and otherwise — are completely normal. Medications might help you relieve your anxiety. But talking with your doctor or another health care professional can also help you sort out your feelings and provide relief. Depression. Depression is common in people with cancer. But those feelings of hopelessness can contribute to your physical symptoms, making you think you're worse off than you really are. Medications are available for depression, and talking about your feelings can help. Physical signs and symptoms of depression, such as weight loss and fatigue, are difficult for your doctor to diagnose since they can also be caused by your cancer. So tell your doctor if you think you might have depression. After these factors are controlled, you might be in a better frame of mind to make a decision about continuing your cancer treatment. Don't accept pain, anxiety and depression as part of your cancer — they can all be controlled to some extent most of the time.If you simply don't want to continue treatment, that's OK. It's not a sign of weakness. When to stop treatment is a highly personal decision. You can always change your mind and restart your treatment if your doctor agrees.In the end, it's your decision to make, but input from your doctor, other health care workers and your friends and family can be an important part of the decision-making process. Telling your family and friends If you decide to end your cancer treatment, be honest and open with your family and friends when telling them. Talking about your feelings can be therapeutic. It can also help your friends and family come to terms with your decision to end treatment. They'll better understand what they can do to help you and how you want them to behave toward you. You might prefer to keep your feelings to yourself, and that's OK too.It's possible that your friends and family might not understand your decision because of fears about your future or theirs. Talking about your decision to end your treatment and your change in goals might help them overcome these fears.If you have difficulty talking with your friends and family or if they have difficulty accepting your decision, talk to someone trained in counseling, such as a nurse, social worker, psychologist or a member of the clergy. That person might have ideas for you to make talking with your friends and family easier.Your friends and family may just need time to adjust to your decision. Let them know you want them close and still need their support.Talk with your family about your wishes for the future — called advance directives. Discuss whether you'd want to be kept alive if machines were breathing for you. Appoint someone to make health care decisions for you if you were to become incapacitated. What to expect after your treatment ends If you decide to end your treatment, it doesn't mean you'll stop being cared for by doctors and nurses. You and your doctor will discuss your options. You might have a loved one or friend who wants to help take care of you. Or you might decide to use a home nursing service.No matter what you choose, you'll still have regular checkups to make sure your pain is kept at bay and that you're comfortable. Your doctor might have you seen by another doctor who specializes in palliative care — a doctor whose main focus is to make you comfortable, not cure you.Stopping your treatment doesn't mean you'll die immediately. After you end treatment, you could still be active and care for yourself for many months. It's also possible your health could deteriorate rapidly. How long you'll live after ending your treatment will vary depending on the type and stage of your cancer, as well as other health problems you may have.Whether you want to stay at home is up to you and will depend on the level of care you need. You might feel more comfortable in a hospital or nursing home with doctors and nurses nearby at all times. Or you might prefer the comfort of your home with a nurse to check in on you every day. You might choose a hospice program, which is designed for people who generally aren't expected to live more than six months. More time for what matters When ending treatment makes you pain-free and more able to participate in various daily activities, you might find you have more time for friends and family. Being able to be cared for at home might mean you could keep up with hobbies or activities that make you happy. When you were first diagnosed with cancer, you and your doctor probably discussed what sort of results you could hope for from your cancer treatment. You probably hoped that your cancer would be cured. But if your first line of cancer treatment didn't work as well as you had expected, you might have realized that your goal of a cure was no longer possible and that you needed to refocus your goal.In life, whether dealing with cancer or anything else, goals aren't fixed and static. Goals must remain flexible and change with the circumstances. This is true when dealing with cancer. Though your first goal, reasonably, is one of cure, sometimes treatment doesn't go as you had hoped. Cure may no longer be a realistic option. Readjusting your goals can help you focus on those things you can still reasonably control.Throughout your cancer treatment, three phases or goals of care exist. When you move from one phase to the next is up to you and your doctor.The quest for a cure. During this phase you and your doctor hope to cure your cancer. You might be willing to put up with a large number of temporary cancer treatment side effects for the very large payoff — to be cured. If your cancer goes into remission, your goal might now be to maintain your health and make sure your cancer doesn't return. Prolonging your life. If your cancer treatment doesn't proceed as expected, or if your cancer was diagnosed at a more advanced stage, the goal of being cured might not be realistic. If this is the case, a reasonable goal might be to control or shrink the cancer or prevent it from spreading. You might be willing to put up with some side effects of cancer treatment. Comfort rather than cure. A time may come when further treatment has little chance of prolonging your life or of shrinking your cancer. In this setting, trying to achieve the highest possible quality of life is a reasonable goal. Side effects must be kept to a minimum because any benefits are likely to be small. At this point, you and your doctor work to keep you feeling as symptom-free as possible. You might now focus your goal on your family and relationships, rather than your cancer. This can be a time of great comfort and even personal growth. Your treatment goals are never static, and you and your doctor should continually discuss your goals — slowly and gradually adjusting them based on your individual circumstances. The process is very gradual and evolves throughout the course of your illness. Making the decision to end treatment Making the transition to comfort and symptomatic (palliative) care can be a difficult choice. Talking about your decision with your doctor and your family might help you sort out your feelings. Some points you might want to discuss include:What's your current condition? Ask your doctor to be honest about your cancer and its progression. And be honest with yourself. Denying that your cancer is progressing, while a natural response, might prevent you from being able to make the most of your time. What's your treatment doing? Is it shrinking your tumor? Is it fighting your cancer? What benefits is it providing, if any? Think about the pros and cons of your treatment. Why are you getting treatment? Is it to shrink the cancer and live longer? What are the chances of this happening? Is it to relieve a symptom, such as pain? Is it working for that symptom? Are you getting these treatments for yourself, or is it because someone in your life wants you to? Is there pressure from your family? Is it worth it? Many people with advanced cancer want to try every possible treatment, for fear they'll let down their loved ones if they don't. But sometimes, getting ineffective treatments only takes you away from your family and loved ones for longer periods of time. What's the downside to treatment? What side effects do you experience? Are they mild or are they intolerable? To what extent does the treatment limit your ability to participate in the activities you enjoy? Consider your quality of life. Is the downside worth it? For the benefit you're receiving from your treatment, are the side effects worth it? What do you want for your future? Will continuing your treatment prevent you from taking part in those activities? In your decision to end your treatment, take into consideration your religious beliefs and other personal values. Discussions with your religious adviser can help you focus your goals. Discussing the end of your treatment with your doctor In a perfect world, the decision of whether or not to end your treatment will be thoroughly discussed between you, your doctor and your loved ones. Your doctor would be sure of the potential benefits of your treatment. And you would be open with your doctor about your fears and hopes for your future.In truth, your doctor might find your prognosis difficult to estimate, and you might be afraid to admit feelings of depression or anxiety. For this reason, it's important that you and your doctor have adequate time to ask each other questions and not be afraid to ask or answer difficult questions about your future.Many times you and your doctor will agree with each other on whether to continue treatment. But in some cases, you might disagree.When your doctor wants to end your treatment, but you don'tIf your doctor approaches you about ending your cancer treatment, you might feel betrayed. You might feel like your doctor wants to give up on you. Maybe you've been denying the fact that your cancer treatment isn't working, and you aren't ready to accept the fact that it might be time to stop.Know that your doctor has your best interests in mind, and listen to your doctor's reasoning. Ask questions. Be honest about how the thought of ending your treatment makes you feel. Just because your doctor suggests no longer treating your cancer, your doctor will always continue to treat you, to assure comfort and relieve symptoms to the best of his or her ability. Ask to see X-rays and other tests that show the progression of your cancer. This might help you better understand your doctor's opinion.You might be reluctant to stop your treatment because you're afraid to lose control over your health. You might also equate ending treatment with giving up. But you can maintain both control and hope without the cancer treatment:Maintaining control. Deciding you don't want any more cancer treatment is a form of control in and of itself. Taking away the treatment means you can have more time with friends and family without the side effects keeping you sidelined. You can control your pain so that you can have a better quality of life. And you still have control over several aspects of your own care, such as what you do and who you see. Restoring hope. If until now hope has come from your expectation of a cure, then ending your treatment might seem like giving up hope. But you can draw hope from other places. Time with friends and family and the comfort your loved ones bring can provide hope, too. Terminally ill people often say that hope comes not from treatment, but through connections with others, spirituality and uplifting memories. If, after discussing your treatment with your doctor and your family, you decide you don't want to stop your treatment, your doctor may be willing to continue treatment. However, if your doctor knows the treatment will only hurt you, he or she can refuse to treat you. If that happens, you can request a review of your case with the hospital or clinic management. Or you can get a second opinion from another doctor.When you want to end your treatment, but your doctor doesn't agreeSometimes pain and other side effects can make your cancer treatment unbearable. This may influence your decision to stop treatment — even if your treatment seems to be working. But pain and side effects can sometimes be remedied so that you're more comfortable as you go through your cancer treatment. Talk to your doctor about getting help for symptoms such as:Pain. Without proper pain control, you might feel like abandoning your treatment before you've given it time to work. A number of solutions — from drugs to complementary therapies, such as meditation — can help you control your symptoms. Your doctor can't detect the severity of your pain, so it's up to you to speak up. Anxiety. It's normal for you to be anxious about what is happening to your health. Anxiety about your future and your family's future — financial, emotional and otherwise — are completely normal. Medications might help you relieve your anxiety. But talking with your doctor or another health care professional can also help you sort out your feelings and provide relief. Depression. Depression is common in people with cancer. But those feelings of hopelessness can contribute to your physical symptoms, making you think you're worse off than you really are. Medications are available for depression, and talking about your feelings can help. Physical signs and symptoms of depression, such as weight loss and fatigue, are difficult for your doctor to diagnose since they can also be caused by your cancer. So tell your doctor if you think you might have depression. After these factors are controlled, you might be in a better frame of mind to make a decision about continuing your cancer treatment. Don't accept pain, anxiety and depression as part of your cancer — they can all be controlled to some extent most of the time.If you simply don't want to continue treatment, that's OK. It's not a sign of weakness. When to stop treatment is a highly personal decision. You can always change your mind and restart your treatment if your doctor agrees.In the end, it's your decision to make, but input from your doctor, other health care workers and your friends and family can be an important part of the decision-making process. Telling your family and friends If you decide to end your cancer treatment, be honest and open with your family and friends when telling them. Talking about your feelings can be therapeutic. It can also help your friends and family come to terms with your decision to end treatment. They'll better understand what they can do to help you and how you want them to behave toward you. You might prefer to keep your feelings to yourself, and that's OK too.It's possible that your friends and family might not understand your decision because of fears about your future or theirs. Talking about your decision to end your treatment and your change in goals might help them overcome these fears.If you have difficulty talking with your friends and family or if they have difficulty accepting your decision, talk to someone trained in counseling, such as a nurse, social worker, psychologist or a member of the clergy. That person might have ideas for you to make talking with your friends and family easier.Your friends and family may just need time to adjust to your decision. Let them know you want them close and still need their support.Talk with your family about your wishes for the future — called advance directives. Discuss whether you'd want to be kept alive if machines were breathing for you. Appoint someone to make health care decisions for you if you were to become incapacitated. What to expect after your treatment ends If you decide to end your treatment, it doesn't mean you'll stop being cared for by doctors and nurses. You and your doctor will discuss your options. You might have a loved one or friend who wants to help take care of you. Or you might decide to use a home nursing service.No matter what you choose, you'll still have regular checkups to make sure your pain is kept at bay and that you're comfortable. Your doctor might have you seen by another doctor who specializes in palliative care — a doctor whose main focus is to make you comfortable, not cure you.Stopping your treatment doesn't mean you'll die immediately. After you end treatment, you could still be active and care for yourself for many months. It's also possible your health could deteriorate rapidly. How long you'll live after ending your treatment will vary depending on the type and stage of your cancer, as well as other health problems you may have.Whether you want to stay at home is up to you and will depend on the level of care you need. You might feel more comfortable in a hospital or nursing home with doctors and nurses nearby at all times. Or you might prefer the comfort of your home with a nurse to check in on you every day. You might choose a hospice program, which is designed for people who generally aren't expected to live more than six months. More time for what matters When ending treatment makes you pain-free and more able to participate in various daily activities, you might find you have more time for friends and family. Being able to be cared for at home might mean you could keep up with hobbies or activities that make you happy. Making the transition to comfort and symptomatic (palliative) care can be a difficult choice. Talking about your decision with your doctor and your family might help you sort out your feelings. Some points you might want to discuss include:What's your current condition? Ask your doctor to be honest about your cancer and its progression. And be honest with yourself. Denying that your cancer is progressing, while a natural response, might prevent you from being able to make the most of your time. What's your treatment doing? Is it shrinking your tumor? Is it fighting your cancer? What benefits is it providing, if any? Think about the pros and cons of your treatment. Why are you getting treatment? Is it to shrink the cancer and live longer? What are the chances of this happening? Is it to relieve a symptom, such as pain? Is it working for that symptom? Are you getting these treatments for yourself, or is it because someone in your life wants you to? Is there pressure from your family? Is it worth it? Many people with advanced cancer want to try every possible treatment, for fear they'll let down their loved ones if they don't. But sometimes, getting ineffective treatments only takes you away from your family and loved ones for longer periods of time. What's the downside to treatment? What side effects do you experience? Are they mild or are they intolerable? To what extent does the treatment limit your ability to participate in the activities you enjoy? Consider your quality of life. Is the downside worth it? For the benefit you're receiving from your treatment, are the side effects worth it? What do you want for your future? Will continuing your treatment prevent you from taking part in those activities? In your decision to end your treatment, take into consideration your religious beliefs and other personal values. Discussions with your religious adviser can help you focus your goals. Discussing the end of your treatment with your doctor In a perfect world, the decision of whether or not to end your treatment will be thoroughly discussed between you, your doctor and your loved ones. Your doctor would be sure of the potential benefits of your treatment. And you would be open with your doctor about your fears and hopes for your future.In truth, your doctor might find your prognosis difficult to estimate, and you might be afraid to admit feelings of depression or anxiety. For this reason, it's important that you and your doctor have adequate time to ask each other questions and not be afraid to ask or answer difficult questions about your future.Many times you and your doctor will agree with each other on whether to continue treatment. But in some cases, you might disagree.When your doctor wants to end your treatment, but you don'tIf your doctor approaches you about ending your cancer treatment, you might feel betrayed. You might feel like your doctor wants to give up on you. Maybe you've been denying the fact that your cancer treatment isn't working, and you aren't ready to accept the fact that it might be time to stop.Know that your doctor has your best interests in mind, and listen to your doctor's reasoning. Ask questions. Be honest about how the thought of ending your treatment makes you feel. Just because your doctor suggests no longer treating your cancer, your doctor will always continue to treat you, to assure comfort and relieve symptoms to the best of his or her ability. Ask to see X-rays and other tests that show the progression of your cancer. This might help you better understand your doctor's opinion.You might be reluctant to stop your treatment because you're afraid to lose control over your health. You might also equate ending treatment with giving up. But you can maintain both control and hope without the cancer treatment:Maintaining control. Deciding you don't want any more cancer treatment is a form of control in and of itself. Taking away the treatment means you can have more time with friends and family without the side effects keeping you sidelined. You can control your pain so that you can have a better quality of life. And you still have control over several aspects of your own care, such as what you do and who you see. Restoring hope. If until now hope has come from your expectation of a cure, then ending your treatment might seem like giving up hope. But you can draw hope from other places. Time with friends and family and the comfort your loved ones bring can provide hope, too. Terminally ill people often say that hope comes not from treatment, but through connections with others, spirituality and uplifting memories. If, after discussing your treatment with your doctor and your family, you decide you don't want to stop your treatment, your doctor may be willing to continue treatment. However, if your doctor knows the treatment will only hurt you, he or she can refuse to treat you. If that happens, you can request a review of your case with the hospital or clinic management. Or you can get a second opinion from another doctor.When you want to end your treatment, but your doctor doesn't agreeSometimes pain and other side effects can make your cancer treatment unbearable. This may influence your decision to stop treatment — even if your treatment seems to be working. But pain and side effects can sometimes be remedied so that you're more comfortable as you go through your cancer treatment. Talk to your doctor about getting help for symptoms such as:Pain. Without proper pain control, you might feel like abandoning your treatment before you've given it time to work. A number of solutions — from drugs to complementary therapies, such as meditation — can help you control your symptoms. Your doctor can't detect the severity of your pain, so it's up to you to speak up. Anxiety. It's normal for you to be anxious about what is happening to your health. Anxiety about your future and your family's future — financial, emotional and otherwise — are completely normal. Medications might help you relieve your anxiety. But talking with your doctor or another health care professional can also help you sort out your feelings and provide relief. Depression. Depression is common in people with cancer. But those feelings of hopelessness can contribute to your physical symptoms, making you think you're worse off than you really are. Medications are available for depression, and talking about your feelings can help. Physical signs and symptoms of depression, such as weight loss and fatigue, are difficult for your doctor to diagnose since they can also be caused by your cancer. So tell your doctor if you think you might have depression. After these factors are controlled, you might be in a better frame of mind to make a decision about continuing your cancer treatment. Don't accept pain, anxiety and depression as part of your cancer — they can all be controlled to some extent most of the time.If you simply don't want to continue treatment, that's OK. It's not a sign of weakness. When to stop treatment is a highly personal decision. You can always change your mind and restart your treatment if your doctor agrees.In the end, it's your decision to make, but input from your doctor, other health care workers and your friends and family can be an important part of the decision-making process. Telling your family and friends If you decide to end your cancer treatment, be honest and open with your family and friends when telling them. Talking about your feelings can be therapeutic. It can also help your friends and family come to terms with your decision to end treatment. They'll better understand what they can do to help you and how you want them to behave toward you. You might prefer to keep your feelings to yourself, and that's OK too.It's possible that your friends and family might not understand your decision because of fears about your future or theirs. Talking about your decision to end your treatment and your change in goals might help them overcome these fears.If you have difficulty talking with your friends and family or if they have difficulty accepting your decision, talk to someone trained in counseling, such as a nurse, social worker, psychologist or a member of the clergy. That person might have ideas for you to make talking with your friends and family easier.Your friends and family may just need time to adjust to your decision. Let them know you want them close and still need their support.Talk with your family about your wishes for the future — called advance directives. Discuss whether you'd want to be kept alive if machines were breathing for you. Appoint someone to make health care decisions for you if you were to become incapacitated. What to expect after your treatment ends If you decide to end your treatment, it doesn't mean you'll stop being cared for by doctors and nurses. You and your doctor will discuss your options. You might have a loved one or friend who wants to help take care of you. Or you might decide to use a home nursing service.No matter what you choose, you'll still have regular checkups to make sure your pain is kept at bay and that you're comfortable. Your doctor might have you seen by another doctor who specializes in palliative care — a doctor whose main focus is to make you comfortable, not cure you.Stopping your treatment doesn't mean you'll die immediately. After you end treatment, you could still be active and care for yourself for many months. It's also possible your health could deteriorate rapidly. How long you'll live after ending your treatment will vary depending on the type and stage of your cancer, as well as other health problems you may have.Whether you want to stay at home is up to you and will depend on the level of care you need. You might feel more comfortable in a hospital or nursing home with doctors and nurses nearby at all times. Or you might prefer the comfort of your home with a nurse to check in on you every day. You might choose a hospice program, which is designed for people who generally aren't expected to live more than six months. More time for what matters When ending treatment makes you pain-free and more able to participate in various daily activities, you might find you have more time for friends and family. Being able to be cared for at home might mean you could keep up with hobbies or activities that make you happy. In a perfect world, the decision of whether or not to end your treatment will be thoroughly discussed between you, your doctor and your loved ones. Your doctor would be sure of the potential benefits of your treatment. And you would be open with your doctor about your fears and hopes for your future.In truth, your doctor might find your prognosis difficult to estimate, and you might be afraid to admit feelings of depression or anxiety. For this reason, it's important that you and your doctor have adequate time to ask each other questions and not be afraid to ask or answer difficult questions about your future.Many times you and your doctor will agree with each other on whether to continue treatment. But in some cases, you might disagree.When your doctor wants to end your treatment, but you don'tIf your doctor approaches you about ending your cancer treatment, you might feel betrayed. You might feel like your doctor wants to give up on you. Maybe you've been denying the fact that your cancer treatment isn't working, and you aren't ready to accept the fact that it might be time to stop.Know that your doctor has your best interests in mind, and listen to your doctor's reasoning. Ask questions. Be honest about how the thought of ending your treatment makes you feel. Just because your doctor suggests no longer treating your cancer, your doctor will always continue to treat you, to assure comfort and relieve symptoms to the best of his or her ability. Ask to see X-rays and other tests that show the progression of your cancer. This might help you better understand your doctor's opinion.You might be reluctant to stop your treatment because you're afraid to lose control over your health. You might also equate ending treatment with giving up. But you can maintain both control and hope without the cancer treatment:Maintaining control. Deciding you don't want any more cancer treatment is a form of control in and of itself. Taking away the treatment means you can have more time with friends and family without the side effects keeping you sidelined. You can control your pain so that you can have a better quality of life. And you still have control over several aspects of your own care, such as what you do and who you see. Restoring hope. If until now hope has come from your expectation of a cure, then ending your treatment might seem like giving up hope. But you can draw hope from other places. Time with friends and family and the comfort your loved ones bring can provide hope, too. Terminally ill people often say that hope comes not from treatment, but through connections with others, spirituality and uplifting memories. If, after discussing your treatment with your doctor and your family, you decide you don't want to stop your treatment, your doctor may be willing to continue treatment. However, if your doctor knows the treatment will only hurt you, he or she can refuse to treat you. If that happens, you can request a review of your case with the hospital or clinic management. Or you can get a second opinion from another doctor.When you want to end your treatment, but your doctor doesn't agreeSometimes pain and other side effects can make your cancer treatment unbearable. This may influence your decision to stop treatment — even if your treatment seems to be working. But pain and side effects can sometimes be remedied so that you're more comfortable as you go through your cancer treatment. Talk to your doctor about getting help for symptoms such as:Pain. Without proper pain control, you might feel like abandoning your treatment before you've given it time to work. A number of solutions — from drugs to complementary therapies, such as meditation — can help you control your symptoms. Your doctor can't detect the severity of your pain, so it's up to you to speak up. Anxiety. It's normal for you to be anxious about what is happening to your health. Anxiety about your future and your family's future — financial, emotional and otherwise — are completely normal. Medications might help you relieve your anxiety. But talking with your doctor or another health care professional can also help you sort out your feelings and provide relief. Depression. Depression is common in people with cancer. But those feelings of hopelessness can contribute to your physical symptoms, making you think you're worse off than you really are. Medications are available for depression, and talking about your feelings can help. Physical signs and symptoms of depression, such as weight loss and fatigue, are difficult for your doctor to diagnose since they can also be caused by your cancer. So tell your doctor if you think you might have depression. After these factors are controlled, you might be in a better frame of mind to make a decision about continuing your cancer treatment. Don't accept pain, anxiety and depression as part of your cancer — they can all be controlled to some extent most of the time.If you simply don't want to continue treatment, that's OK. It's not a sign of weakness. When to stop treatment is a highly personal decision. You can always change your mind and restart your treatment if your doctor agrees.In the end, it's your decision to make, but input from your doctor, other health care workers and your friends and family can be an important part of the decision-making process. Telling your family and friends If you decide to end your cancer treatment, be honest and open with your family and friends when telling them. Talking about your feelings can be therapeutic. It can also help your friends and family come to terms with your decision to end treatment. They'll better understand what they can do to help you and how you want them to behave toward you. You might prefer to keep your feelings to yourself, and that's OK too.It's possible that your friends and family might not understand your decision because of fears about your future or theirs. Talking about your decision to end your treatment and your change in goals might help them overcome these fears.If you have difficulty talking with your friends and family or if they have difficulty accepting your decision, talk to someone trained in counseling, such as a nurse, social worker, psychologist or a member of the clergy. That person might have ideas for you to make talking with your friends and family easier.Your friends and family may just need time to adjust to your decision. Let them know you want them close and still need their support.Talk with your family about your wishes for the future — called advance directives. Discuss whether you'd want to be kept alive if machines were breathing for you. Appoint someone to make health care decisions for you if you were to become incapacitated. What to expect after your treatment ends If you decide to end your treatment, it doesn't mean you'll stop being cared for by doctors and nurses. You and your doctor will discuss your options. You might have a loved one or friend who wants to help take care of you. Or you might decide to use a home nursing service.No matter what you choose, you'll still have regular checkups to make sure your pain is kept at bay and that you're comfortable. Your doctor might have you seen by another doctor who specializes in palliative care — a doctor whose main focus is to make you comfortable, not cure you.Stopping your treatment doesn't mean you'll die immediately. After you end treatment, you could still be active and care for yourself for many months. It's also possible your health could deteriorate rapidly. How long you'll live after ending your treatment will vary depending on the type and stage of your cancer, as well as other health problems you may have.Whether you want to stay at home is up to you and will depend on the level of care you need. You might feel more comfortable in a hospital or nursing home with doctors and nurses nearby at all times. Or you might prefer the comfort of your home with a nurse to check in on you every day. You might choose a hospice program, which is designed for people who generally aren't expected to live more than six months. More time for what matters When ending treatment makes you pain-free and more able to participate in various daily activities, you might find you have more time for friends and family. Being able to be cared for at home might mean you could keep up with hobbies or activities that make you happy. If you decide to end your cancer treatment, be honest and open with your family and friends when telling them. Talking about your feelings can be therapeutic. It can also help your friends and family come to terms with your decision to end treatment. They'll better understand what they can do to help you and how you want them to behave toward you. You might prefer to keep your feelings to yourself, and that's OK too.It's possible that your friends and family might not understand your decision because of fears about your future or theirs. Talking about your decision to end your treatment and your change in goals might help them overcome these fears.If you have difficulty talking with your friends and family or if they have difficulty accepting your decision, talk to someone trained in counseling, such as a nurse, social worker, psychologist or a member of the clergy. That person might have ideas for you to make talking with your friends and family easier.Your friends and family may just need time to adjust to your decision. Let them know you want them close and still need their support.Talk with your family about your wishes for the future — called advance directives. Discuss whether you'd want to be kept alive if machines were breathing for you. Appoint someone to make health care decisions for you if you were to become incapacitated. What to expect after your treatment ends If you decide to end your treatment, it doesn't mean you'll stop being cared for by doctors and nurses. You and your doctor will discuss your options. You might have a loved one or friend who wants to help take care of you. Or you might decide to use a home nursing service.No matter what you choose, you'll still have regular checkups to make sure your pain is kept at bay and that you're comfortable. Your doctor might have you seen by another doctor who specializes in palliative care — a doctor whose main focus is to make you comfortable, not cure you.Stopping your treatment doesn't mean you'll die immediately. After you end treatment, you could still be active and care for yourself for many months. It's also possible your health could deteriorate rapidly. How long you'll live after ending your treatment will vary depending on the type and stage of your cancer, as well as other health problems you may have.Whether you want to stay at home is up to you and will depend on the level of care you need. You might feel more comfortable in a hospital or nursing home with doctors and nurses nearby at all times. Or you might prefer the comfort of your home with a nurse to check in on you every day. You might choose a hospice program, which is designed for people who generally aren't expected to live more than six months. More time for what matters When ending treatment makes you pain-free and more able to participate in various daily activities, you might find you have more time for friends and family. Being able to be cared for at home might mean you could keep up with hobbies or activities that make you happy. If you decide to end your treatment, it doesn't mean you'll stop being cared for by doctors and nurses. You and your doctor will discuss your options. You might have a loved one or friend who wants to help take care of you. Or you might decide to use a home nursing service.No matter what you choose, you'll still have regular checkups to make sure your pain is kept at bay and that you're comfortable. Your doctor might have you seen by another doctor who specializes in palliative care — a doctor whose main focus is to make you comfortable, not cure you.Stopping your treatment doesn't mean you'll die immediately. After you end treatment, you could still be active and care for yourself for many months. It's also possible your health could deteriorate rapidly. How long you'll live after ending your treatment will vary depending on the type and stage of your cancer, as well as other health problems you may have.Whether you want to stay at home is up to you and will depend on the level of care you need. You might feel more comfortable in a hospital or nursing home with doctors and nurses nearby at all times. Or you might prefer the comfort of your home with a nurse to check in on you every day. You might choose a hospice program, which is designed for people who generally aren't expected to live more than six months. More time for what matters When ending treatment makes you pain-free and more able to participate in various daily activities, you might find you have more time for friends and family. Being able to be cared for at home might mean you could keep up with hobbies or activities that make you happy. When ending treatment makes you pain-free and more able to participate in various daily activities, you might find you have more time for friends and family. Being able to be cared for at home might mean you could keep up with hobbies or activities that make you happy.   Chi-girl Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/6/2008 rose01 wrote:I hope this isn't an insensitive or dumb question but I'd like to know how others have approached this. If and when there comes a point that the treatment is taking such a toll on quality of life that it's not worth it, how do you recognize this point??  Do you let the doctors tell you first that they've done all they can?  Do you just "instinctly" know?  I want myself and my husband to fight this cursed disease with all we have but at the same time, doesn't this have to be weighed against quality of time and living life on one's own terms?  I really don't have any answers right now.  In fact, I pray we never get to this crossroad.  ewings Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi,I know that making this type of decision is diffucult. My son who is just eight has been recently diagnosed for the third time in his life and we have been faced with this very decision. For us with all of the medical treatment he has recieved the answer came reletively easy. We decided along with the doctors that his quality of life is of importance. Yes we would like to fight this however we know that because of his history cure is not something that is likely. Though we havent given up we have stopped all radical treatment and have placed him on oral medications to help stop the tumors from growing. We have also called in Hospice to take charge of his daily treatment, blood draws, physicals, meds ect., that we can do at home so that we don't have to be at the hospital nearly as much. ewings Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/6/2008 rose01 wrote:I hope this isn't an insensitive or dumb question but I'd like to know how others have approached this. If and when there comes a point that the treatment is taking such a toll on quality of life that it's not worth it, how do you recognize this point??  Do you let the doctors tell you first that they've done all they can?  Do you just "instinctly" know?  I want myself and my husband to fight this cursed disease with all we have but at the same time, doesn't this have to be weighed against quality of time and living life on one's own terms?  I really don't have any answers right now.  In fact, I pray we never get to this crossroad. This is what we are going through right now with my Dad.  He is just finishing up his 6th cycle of xeloda and his quality of life is not good.  Nothing tastes good to him so he doesn't eat and has lost weight, he gets loose stools, he has so much fluid build up from his abdomen down to his toes and he is very weak.  I told him that he has got to be done with chemo and start taking natural supplements to get his strength back and get rid of all these side effects!  This cancer stuff is for the birds!!  In fact, I wouldn't even wish it on them!!  Take Care and Best Wishes!! lovemydad2 Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/8/2008 jcr65566 wrote:Hi I hope this helps  The thing is if you have cancer you dont  have to die. You see  the reasion I say this is I have prostrate cancer. I was told after I had a Biopsies that I had prostate cancer with a Gleason of eight and a psa of 9.8. I  was told  to get it out fast  I had Cancer so I did what the doctors told me, over a six months period I spent over $3000.00 seeing Specialist. Flying to Sydney and then to Brisbane. Each wanted to charge me $20.000 for the Operation a Radical prostatectomy I found out my medical insurance would only have  paid out $10.000 for the operation. I it seemed some how would have to come up with the rest. The Doctors  wouldn't do the operation any way. they said I weighed to much As at the time my hight was 180cm and  my weight was 150kg. One wanted me to slim down to 120kg the other  wanted me to go down to 100kls before they do the Operation. the damage that this Radical prostatectomy Operation dos is Frightening. At this time angry and disillusion with the medical perfection I went for a walk I come across one of my neighbours , Jeff who use to live up the road from me. He told me he once had  lung cancer he said a few years ago it was poking out of the ribs in the his chest he said he herd I had cancer and he come over to see me he showed me two photos. When the fist photo was taken (years before) he was told he only had two or three weeks to live he showed me the two photos of himself the fist one showed a whole pile of bumps and lumps coming out of the frount of he's chest  the other taken months later. was normal it was amazing. he said  He's been  in remission. for a number of years now. amazed I said How? He said there are three main things that cause cancer Diet Toxins and Stress he told me he was put on meger dos of vitamins plus a strick diet of veg  he all so used a product called Liquid Zeolite for the toxins  I said Zeo-What. He said I got it of the internet it works. he told me go to my computer. Go to google and just to tipe in Zeolite so I did. This gave me hope he said when he started taking all this .Only a few days later he could feel it starting to  work as his chest felt ichy. So he knew some thing was happing. He told me he was taking a large dayly dos of Vitamin B and C plus 15 drops 4 x a day of the Zeolite a few months later after one of  the x-ray showed the tumours almost gone  he upped it to 20 drops 4 x a day. he said hes seen a lot of people use thes not one has told him it dident work. He also told me if you think your going to die you will. You have to have hope. And I do. it been over a year now  I'm now on a diet but I wont be having any operation. Im still fighting the cancer and I can feel Im wining I using two main compond now. One is Liquid Zeolite witch they say  removes toxions. I also on  other things  it a natural product called N-Tense it got a combination of Graviola with 7 other rainforest plants and Graviola the maker says it boost up the immune system. these two products in them selfs  are very powerfull cancer fighting drugs the Liquid Zeolite cost me about 33 dollors a bottle and I needed 15 bottles and N-tense. Cost me $55.00. Both target cancer cells. They cost me all to gether $555.00 it a bit cheeper then $20,000 for the operation. Talking to the right  people. I know there is no known cure for cancer. Once we get it we have it for life. All we can then do is boost up our immune system so it can fight it. And that for the next 20 so  years of my life is  what I'm going to do. only afters a month on the vitamins and the Liquid Zeolite I felt i was  geting better I can feel it  now I have more energy and at last I can go to the loo and not take forever to go. you dont have to die with Cancer. in the last 12 months I found out that  most of my doctors dont know about other treatments and they also feel they dont want to know if you want to find out for your self go down to the shop and get a bottle of 1000mg of Bio C or vitamin C start taking a 1000mg a day to start with. Beleave me you will start to feel better with in a week or two  any one wants to reply feel free.God bless you RayGod bless you RayRay I am so happy to hear of someone suggesting alternative therapies!!  I can't believe how many of these messages I read that talk about all the drugs they are taking and how many side effects they are having and their quality of life is nothing!!  My Dad has taken the zeolite also before he had chemo.  He was taking mega doses of antioxidants and vitamins and this zeolite and he never felt better.  He felt so good, he didn't want to do the chemo, but for some reason these doctors have a hold on patients where we are supposed to trust them and think that they know what is best for us and sometimes that is just not true!  He started xeloda and will be finishing up his 6th cycle and his quality of life is not there anymore.  I just told him today that he has got to be done with this poison and needs to get back on what he was doing before chemo to get his quality of life back and get the poison out of his body!  I hope and pray that some day (I won't see it in my time) everyone will be using the alternative therapies first and if they need help they will add the poison!  You are absolutely right that you need to boost your immune system with vitamins and natural supplements so it is so strong nothing can overtake it!!  Good Luck and Best Wishes!! lovemydad2 Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT