CancerCompass message board discussion started by tashfish on 5/7/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23834,0.htm Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ On May 18th 2008 it will be my Daddy's birthday, and 6 months and one day from the day he passed after a short 6 month battle with stomach cancer. He was only 55.  Each day presents one of two scenarios, sometimes good and sometimes bad, in dealing with the passing of my father.  Some days, I can feel the weight of depression on my soul the minute I wake up.  Nothing goes quite the way I want, my spirit is heavy, and then something reminds me of Daddy and I'm in the bathroom bawling.  Other days I think about him and all of the wonderful moments he's taken part of and created in my life, and it feels as if he's right there smiling with me. I'm not crying, I'm just thankful, for being in that moment, and being able to remember and enjoy that I experienced that.  I don't expect to ever get over this in my time here. I don't think anyone does when you lose someone you love.  But in the words of my loving Mother, I am changed forever.  We all are.  I know Earth is not where we are meant to stay.  But this is all we know here and now, and no matter how spiritual you may be, sometimes, it is hard to comprehend life without those that have impacted us so much.  I find myself fighting harder, trying to live harder, and love harder.  I still have a long way to go....  I believe in Flinstones vitamins for my son, and walks in the evening, and taking care of flowers, and appreciating every minute of it.  For all of you in my situation, trying to live life without them; the ones we love; and for those still in the battle, I send you love, and the message to love, and to love life.  It's not over when we pass on, but when we leave here, this Earth, we have only had one shot at making it good.  Make it great!! Love and hugs!!!-Tash  tashfish Wed, 07 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Oh Tash, I hear you loud and clear!!  First, my condolences on the loss of your obviously so loved father.  I lost my wonderful husband to stomach cancer also on February 22, 2008; he was 61 and fought stage IV for 3 years.  This tells you the fighter he was.  (He was also a Viet Nam vet.) I am still awaiting to awaken from this nightmare.  The loss is palpable, isn't it?  I have 2 children and 4 beautiful grandchildren but there is such a void in my life.  We did everything together, even worked together before his illness.  Then I was his caregiver.  I cry over him every day and sometimes don't' even want to face the day.  But then I think that this man fought so hard to live and I have the precious gift of life; I will go on and keep his memory alive.  I truly believe that we will be rejoined eternally and that's also what keeps me going.  I know our pain will lessen and we will see more of life's beauty day by day.  Until we can all be reunited again, we have to keep our wonderful memories in our hearts.  I wish you peace in your heart.God bless you and your family,Diane, Mike's wife Anniedips Thu, 08 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT