CancerCompass message board discussion started by NewGuineaChild on 5/9/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,23877,0.htm Sun, 06 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sun, 06 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ My mom was diagnosed with MM just a few weeks ago.  I have five siblings, and each of us seems to be getting different information from doctors at her hospital in Minnesota.  We're all over the USA, so it's been difficult to coordinate the facts.  One of my brothers heard a doctor tell him that of all the cancers, MM is the most merciful because as it progresses her pain will lessen - something about the body creating a kind of self-perpetuating morphine effect.  This sounded a little weird to me, but I have no medical training myself.  I was thankful for the news.  Well, this is not what we're seeing with our mother AT ALL.  She seems to be in terrible pain ALL THE TIME.  Has anybody else out there ever heard any doctors say what my brother heard?  (about the pain lessening as the disease progresses)????  NewGuineaChild Fri, 09 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Good Evening New Guinea Child;"One of my brothers heard a doctor tell him that of all the cancers, MM is the most merciful because as it progresses her pain will lessen - something about the body creating a kind of self-perpetuating morphine effect." I can not comment on the latter stages of MM, however, when I was Dx. the bone pain was excruciating. In fact, I fractured 9 ribs during the earlier stages just sneezing.I will comment on Dr. Rectum's analysis of being "fortunate" enough to have MM rather than the other cancers. This "professional" should return to Bedside Manner 101 for some refresher because (s)he was sleeping during those lectures! How can one cancer create a morphine effect while others do not? Take care;Kevin K. C. Fri, 09 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT a morphine effect?  sounds like a line of bul@!#*$ Multiple myeloma IS a very serious disease. M/M progresses slowly in most cases. multiple myeloma can occur in different ways some classify as "protein type"and "calcium type" among others  and many other different blood protein types I have never heard of this cancer forcing the body to produce some kind of pain killer effect although this would be a good thing. Not to be insensitive but as the disease progresses ,the pain increases this is caused by lesions on the large bones making holes in them until they break "painfully" The spinal column can collapse and this is also very painful. this process continues with the bone calcium being dissolved into the blood also known as a hypercalcemic condition.at this point the kidneys.liver,heart among other organs begin to overwork thus causing "shut down" and the patient becomes disorented.confused and without treatment it could become life threatening. The protien type could be seen as "amlydiosis" this is where the organs are exposed to very high levels of protein and are unable to carry out their functions this in an advanced condition is also life threatening. It would be a good idea to seek information from many sources. learn about the specific type your dealing with and you will find all the information you need to know (or what you do not wish to know) Many people here are a wealth of information and many have learned quite a bit about multiple myeloma and in some cases maybe a little more than some doctors, good luck in your quest, best wishes  Ron zazu1234 Sat, 10 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Dear New Guinea Girl,I agree with Kevin & Ron.  If that doctor actually said that, s(he) is REALLY in the dark about MM.  There is nothing merciful about MM.  The proper treatment may help the pain, but you need to get her to a doctor who treats MM and knows what to do for her.  If we were in Minnesota, the Mayo Clinic would be our first stop.  Do whatever it takes to get her to a GOOD MM doctor.  There are many meds out there that may be able to help your Mom, but first you have to have a doctor who can figure out what is best for her individual case.   Find that doctor and get her to him/her as soon as possible.  Good luck.Jan  wevebeenthere Sat, 10 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thanks for your input, Jan.  My mom's doctors are in dialogue with doctors at the Mayo Clinic about her MM:  on their recommendation at the Mayo, her oncologist has her on VELCADE - which does seem to be helping.  I got a better answer regarding what one of them had said about MM being "merciful".  I misunderstood -- I think what was said is that once my mom goes into total renal failure, it's basically something like a 10-to-15-day-countdown-to-heaven...and at that point as her body ceases to be able to rid itself of toxins, they'll build and build and it is this process that causes her to be more or less numb to pain.  If I understood that correctly...I'm getting this third hand from another sibling... it still doesn't make any sense to me.  The other confusing point is that I've heard one doctor say she has bone cancer, but I looked MM up and it specifically says on MedNet.com that MM is NOT bone cancer... it starts in the blood cells not the bone cells... but another doctor said mom has "secondary bone cancer" because it IS now in her bones.  You know, I just want to tear my hair out.  Thanks again for taking the time to respond.  It helps me not feel so alone to know my family isn't the only one going through what we are with our mom.  -B NewGuineaChild Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thanks for your affirmation, Kevin.  That's what we're seeing with our mom, too (cracked ribs just from sneezing, etc).  The VELCADE she's on, I guess, has compromised her immune system -- flowers never made her sneeze before but they do terribly now, so we've had to throw away all the bouquets people are having delivered to her.  That's slightly off subject, but it did help to read your email where you specifically mentioned that -- I didn't understand how sneezing could do this to my mom but I do now.  As she was only diagnosed a few weeks ago, this is all very overwhelming and new to me.  Mom also now has compression fractures in her spine.  What a hideous disease.If there is no cure for it and it only gets worse and worse, the question begging to be asked - for me - is why prolong her time here?  Perhaps I am not well-enough informed at this point; it seems to me that treatment only buys MM patients more time so they can be in more pain.  I can't bear the thought of all that is ahead for my momma. NewGuineaChild Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Ron, thank you for taking the time to help me understand some more pieces to my mom's puzzle.  She has the protein kind you described.The VELCADE they have her on seems to have helped her kidneys considerably.  But, as I said in an email to someone who responded to me earlier, I really don't understand the point of treating MM... if there is no chance of cure and it only progresses with severe pain... I love my mom PROFOUNDLY so you should know my comment is not said to be cavalier.  But I am horrified to read all that is ahead for my mom - it seems like the most merciful thing is to give her pain medication to endure whatever time she has left, but not to treat the cancer at all.  Is that a stupid and cruel thing to say?  My mom is on steady morphine now.  It's hard to talk to her because, though she recognizes me, she's obviously "high" :  easier for her, but hard for me.  -b NewGuineaChild Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/12/2008 NewGuineaChild wrote:Thanks for your input, Jan.  My mom's doctors are in dialogue with doctors at the Mayo Clinic about her MM:  on their recommendation at the Mayo, her oncologist has her on VELCADE - which does seem to be helping.  I got a better answer regarding what one of them had said about MM being "merciful".  I misunderstood -- I think what was said is that once my mom goes into total renal failure, it's basically something like a 10-to-15-day-countdown-to-heaven...and at that point as her body ceases to be able to rid itself of toxins, they'll build and build and it is this process that causes her to be more or less numb to pain.  If I understood that correctly...I'm getting this third hand from another sibling... it still doesn't make any sense to me.  The other confusing point is that I've heard one doctor say she has bone cancer, but I looked MM up and it specifically says on MedNet.com that MM is NOT bone cancer... it starts in the blood cells not the bone cells... but another doctor said mom has "secondary bone cancer" because it IS now in her bones.  You know, I just want to tear my hair out.  Thanks again for taking the time to respond.  It helps me not feel so alone to know my family isn't the only one going through what we are with our mom.  -BI lost my mom.  She was in ICU and the doctor told us that we should probably remove my mom from the breathing machine.  He said that she was not in pain because the body produces a chemical that numbs the pain.  We did not remove the breathing machine.  She was scared and in lots of pain.  She was not in a coma.  Then, the doctors came in and told us that we needed to find a nursing home that could take a patient on a breathing machine.  We needed to find one by the next Monday.  On Friday, she died suddenly from a heart attack and even the nurse was shocked.  Of course there was a code blue.  Nothing.  Not even a slight jump.  They said that they tried everything and there was absolutely no response.  Even her main doctor was shocked.  It is really hard to know what the end result will be because we are the hands of one greater than we.  My main man was in the hospital expected to not live, not supposed to be in great pain, which he validated.  Somehow, he turned the corner, and is at home causing me and his family grief.  It's the good kind.  What I have found out is that machines can scare a person to death.  So it's a good idea to talk to them if you can. Keeping a patient as calm as possible actually helps the body with its healing process.   Another thing that I have learned along the was is this.  If a doctor tells you that someone is in a coma, they can probably tell everything that is going on in the room, they just can't let you know they know.  I learned that from a friend that was in a coma for 30 days.At best, these are going to be rough times, but your strength comes from a loving God.  He will see you through.Blessings charann Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Like you, I believe in God - and this one fact is making all the difference for me.  There is a book you might enjoy reading - or getting on audio tape - called HEAVEN by Randy Alcorn.  I listened to it on audio CD's in my car all the way up to Minnesota to visit my mom in the hospital (it takes 11 hours to listen to).  It has rocked my world.  I always have believed in heaven, but this book has changed my perspective on it and on how I spend my time now... and it has really helped me envision where my mom is going.  I bought the book for my mom to read, but she is in total denial about her condition.  I guess that's normal?  She had one of the nurses put the book as far away from her bed as possible.  NewGuineaChild Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Good Morning NewGeneaChild;The other confusing point is that I've heard one doctor say she has bone cancer, but I looked MM up and it specifically says on MedNet.com that MM is NOT bone cancer... it starts in the blood cells not the bone cells... but another doctor said mom has "secondary bone cancer" because it IS now in her bones.  MM is a cancer of the plasma cells. Some experts consider it a cancer of the blood and rank it behind Non-Hodgekens Lymphoma as the most prevalent. Perhaps your Mom's has progressed into her bones and this is what is confusing the Dx.Regarding your feelings about not treating her, a friend of the family was Dx. with cancer and decided to forego the chemo and radiation in keeping his quality of life and the inevitable versus the prolonged fight and the accompanying side effects. Most definately an individual choice! One that may be influenced by the patients' age and prognosis. I wish you well in your decision.Take care;Kevin K. C. Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Dear -B --Given that your mom has only recently been diagnosed I would like to give you just a couple of hints regarding what is happening because it was the same for me.  I too have compression fractures of my spine and multiple lesions on all of the bones in my body.  Its hard NOT to think that you have bone cancer when ALL of your bones are affected!  But it doesn't matter what you call it -- the fact is that the bones are affected and that results in pain.  So I too am on a very high dose of continuous morphine, but I have reached a point where I am not experiencing continual pain and I am no longer 'high'.  Its about adjusting the morphine to the level where it kills the pain and does NOT make you 'high' -- a very fine line.  The longer I have been using the morphine - 5 years - the more I have needed as I have become immune to lower doses.  I am using Fentenal Patches and have increased them in 25mg stages as the pain increased.  Each time I reached a plateau where the pain was no longer extreme and I could participate in my usual activities -- albeit on a modified schedule, until the pain started to increase once again.  Then it was time to up the dose.  What I'm trying to say is: hang in there with the morphine for your mom will get relief and will not be 'high' -- have the doctor check the dose.  Sure, MM doesn't have a 'cure' yet but that doesn't mean that one can not live quite well even with MM -- all you have to do is read the many people who are posting on this board -- they are doing everything they can to manage the MM and continue living and enjoying life.  I was told I had 2 years from diagnosis as I was Stage III -- well, here I am 5 years later and have been on Revlimid for 21 months and feeling better than I ever have since diagnosis!!  I've had all the treatments possible - with the exception of a stem cell transplant -- and each of them have worked for a while - some longer than others.  But each one has given me a bit more time, to the point that I lived to reach treatment with Thalid, Velcade and now Revlimid -- the new novel drugs.  And who knows what will be next.  I live with the thought that someone is in the process of inventing something and I just have to stay alive long enough to benefit from it!  And low and behold, of all the drugs this latest one has been the very best for me -- I know thats not the case for everyone, but for me it works beautifully.  This is such an individualistic disease that there can be no universal cure so make sure that your mom is being treated by an oncologist who really knows about MM and all the latest treatments because only someone with this knowledge will give her the best treatment possible!!  There is hope with MM -- and there are many people who have lived far beyond the prognosis of their oncologists, so don't get locked into thinking that your mom only has weeks, months, whatever to live.  Everyone of us is different and how we approach this is will impact how long we will have, so forget about all the negativity and look to all the positive times you can still have with your mom -- make the most of every minute!!  Best wishes to you all,  Cath poppy/cath Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Cath - WOW.  Your email really really really opened my eyes and helped me see how NEGATIVE I've been - and my 5 siblings, too.  I was so encouraged by your message to me that I immediately called a brother in Florida to read it to him - but I forgot in my happy panic that he is 2 hours ahead of me and already in bed - so I'm copying and pasting your text to an email instead and am going to send it to all my brothers and sisters for them to find when they get to their computers in the morning.  One of the biggest things I got out of what you said is that the attitudes we have now - which will of course affect our mom's attitude - will impact how she copes with this disease.  I do know she is a fighter and has said she is not ready to die.  We just thought she was in denial - I am ashamed to say...but now after reading your email and hearing how you've surpassed your initial prognosis, etc., well, I have tears in my eyes  -- for you, whom I've never even met, and for my momma whose time may have not yet come after all.  Thank you so much for your lengthly and informative and POSITIVE email to me.  I can hardly wait to dialogue with my siblings in the morning.  There is still so much we need to educate ourselves about.  I am encouraged by your story!  Bless you - and best wishes, -B NewGuineaChild Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/12/2008 NewGuineaChild wrote:Thanks for your input, Jan.  My mom's doctors are in dialogue with doctors at the Mayo Clinic about her MM:  on their recommendation at the Mayo, her oncologist has her on VELCADE - which does seem to be helping.  I got a better answer regarding what one of them had said about MM being "merciful".  I misunderstood -- I think what was said is that once my mom goes into total renal failure, it's basically something like a 10-to-15-day-countdown-to-heaven...and at that point as her body ceases to be able to rid itself of toxins, they'll build and build and it is this process that causes her to be more or less numb to pain.  If I understood that correctly...I'm getting this third hand from another sibling... it still doesn't make any sense to me.  The other confusing point is that I've heard one doctor say she has bone cancer, but I looked MM up and it specifically says on MedNet.com that MM is NOT bone cancer... it starts in the blood cells not the bone cells... but another doctor said mom has "secondary bone cancer" because it IS now in her bones.  You know, I just want to tear my hair out.  Thanks again for taking the time to respond.  It helps me not feel so alone to know my family isn't the only one going through what we are with our mom.  -BDear B,I fear my comments from my last post were negative, but it was a reaction to what that doctor said.  I should have gone on to explain that my husband, too, was very ill when we first found out he has MM.  I know the "tear your hair out" feeling because the disease and all the information about it comes at you so fast that your can hardly keep up with it.  You said that the Velcade appears to be helping.  That's a good sign.  My husband has been on Revlimid and Dexamethasone for 9 months and is now pretty much his old self again.  He is able to do most everything that he used to do, he just requires more rest than before.  It took about 3 or 4 months, then the meds began to work, his blood counts got better and he began feeling better.  Each case of MM is different and there are many meds out there, so if one doesn't work, another med might.  My husband had compression fractures of T 6 & 7.  He wore a specially fitted back brace for about a month which eased the pain and healed the fractures.  This brace was molded to fit his body and was not uncomfortable, after a few minor adjustments.  He now takes Zometa to harden his bones.You spoke of "total renal failure", have the doctors mentioned dialysis to help remove the toxins from her body before total renal failure sets in?  Our doctor said that my husband might have to have dialysis if he showed signs of renal failure.  It's an option you could discuss with the doctors.  When his blood creatinine went up , the doctor put him on a gout med called Allopurinol - 300 mg - and it brought his creatinine back to normal.Keep the faith and God bless you and your family.  Give the meds some time and learn as much as you can about MM.  Take care.Jan  wevebeenthere Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi!  Thank you for your thoughtful input.  Yes, my mom has had several rounds of dialysis...and now they are saying she no longer requires it.  Which is encouraging to all of us.  The hospital keeps saying they are going to release her to a nursing home for 2-3 weeks of rehab, but it never happens.  My mom and some of my siblings are in denial about what's next -- some of them (and my mom) talk as though she'll be able to go back to living in her little apartment by herself.  But my mom can't even go potty by herself, and she was incontinent even before her diagnosis...and was in excruciating pain, unable to bend over to unload her dishwasher or take out her trash, etc.  I read all these hopeful postings by people who seem to be able to live "normal" lives with MM...and I really do want that for my mom.  But she wasn't living a "normal" life even before the diagnosis because she was so overweight and was already in decline.  My mom is 76 years old.  I don't think that is very old, but she has so many other things that are unhealthy:  she is morbidly overweight, for one thing, and diabetic.  Being overweight is really going to be a problem for her now with her compromised bones.  Her inactivity contributed to congestive heart failure, also.  So we are just taking this one day at a time.  But the more postings I am reading, the more encouraged I become - that MM is not necessarily a "next week" death sentence for my mom.  What I am hoping for for my mom is a wonderful nursing home for rehab to help her get some strength and courage back, good doctors to monitor her meds and her condition, and then for her to become a resident in the nursing home (instead of going back to her apartment)...some place where they will treat her with the dignity she deserves, where we can all visit her often, where she will have lots of different kinds of stimulation, and where she can be comfortable and taken care of for at least five more years...or longer, if the quality of life is there for her.  This is a new hope for me.  Thanks again for your feedback.  Every little piece of the puzzle helps me see the bigger picture.  Blessings, -B NewGuineaChild Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/12/2008 NewGuineaChild wrote:Cath - WOW.  Your email really really really opened my eyes and helped me see how NEGATIVE I've been - and my 5 siblings, too.  I was so encouraged by your message to me that I immediately called a brother in Florida to read it to him - but I forgot in my happy panic that he is 2 hours ahead of me and already in bed - so I'm copying and pasting your text to an email instead and am going to send it to all my brothers and sisters for them to find when they get to their computers in the morning.  One of the biggest things I got out of what you said is that the attitudes we have now - which will of course affect our mom's attitude - will impact how she copes with this disease.  I do know she is a fighter and has said she is not ready to die.  We just thought she was in denial - I am ashamed to say...but now after reading your email and hearing how you've surpassed your initial prognosis, etc., well, I have tears in my eyes  -- for you, whom I've never even met, and for my momma whose time may have not yet come after all.  Thank you so much for your lengthly and informative and POSITIVE email to me.  I can hardly wait to dialogue with my siblings in the morning.  There is still so much we need to educate ourselves about.  I am encouraged by your story!  Bless you - and best wishes, -BHi New Guinea Child My is name is Poppy. I was diagnosed with stage 4 MM in September 2006. I have lesions on my pelvic bone my spine and some ribs. My pelvic bone looks a piece of swiss cheese. I am in pain sometimes but not all of the time. I am now on my fourth different chemo. My white blood cell and red blood cell counts go up and down. When they are up I can receive treatment. But the chemo drives them down along with the cancer count. When they are just too low the chemo has to stop. The last time the counts went too low and the chemo was stopped, the cancer came back worse than it did when  I was first diagnosed. I say all of this to say I'm glad everyone didn't give up on me and want to put me out of my misery back at the first set back. As long as my dr has an idea for something new to try then I'm game. When I go down I will go down swinging for the fences. I do know that as long as my body will respond to treatment there is hope, but when the organs in my body start to reject the poison being injected in me the game is over.  I am the last person in the world who wants to burden my wife and family, by extending treatment in a hopeless situation. I want my family to remember me with fond memories and not the memories of the final days of my life, if I am suffering and in a painful state. So me and my family will face that time when it comes.I see by your latest posting here that you see where you and your siblings have realized your error in just throwing in the towel at the first sign of MM. Maybe there isn't a cure but God is still in the miracle business. He is in charge of everyone of us and our fight against MM. We need our spouses and our kids to help and support us. I know my wife is my rock and I am hers. I will pray for you and your Mom. May God Bless all of you. Poppy 1952 Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT You are AWESOME, Poppy.  I admire your vim.  Yes, I totally agree with you that my siblings and I must turn a corner in our thinking and get over the shock of mom's recent diagnosis - I'm trying hard to listen and learn from many sources.  You affirm the hope I am beginning to feel for my mom!  THANK YOU.  Blessings, -B NewGuineaChild Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Congratulations -B!  I was afraid that I rambled on too much, but you got the message that I was saying and for that I am very happy!!  Your mom knows how much you love her and will be grateful for all the love and support that you can all give her.  Some of the best times of my life were in the first two years after I was diagnosed when my four kids and three grand children all went to extraordinary lengths to come and visit me and ring me and write me -- just to keep in touch more often than we had in the past --we ALL took the opportunity to 'sieze the moment', to 'smell the roses' and share our thoughts and feelings with one another.  We've always been a close family, but we've had the chance to become even closer, more honest with one another, more caring, more ready to let the 'little' things slip by and concentrate on what really matters to each and every one of us.  Not only am I closer with each of them, but they are all closer to one another!!  As I said, I didn't think that this would have been possible, but I was wrong.  Getting MM was a blessing, for I don't believe that we would ever have discovered this love if I hadn't faced my imminent death.  I run our local cancer support group in my city, and I have found that many people have found this same situation with their diagnosis.  While no one would wish a cancer diagnosis on anyone, there can be blessings -- and I'm not Pollyanna believe me!!  Just calling it like it is and being grateful for the magic I have discovered both within my own family and friends but also in the WONDERFUL people that I have met because I have MM!  We all share a common understanding that only those living with cancer can understand.  Here I go again, rambling!!  If I can be of any help at any time please feel free to contact me.  I have learned many things along the way which can help on the MM journey and am happy to share them with you and your family.  My love and best wishes to you all,  Cath poppy/cath Tue, 13 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi Jan -- I just read in your message to -B that your husband was put on the gout medication Allopurinal (sp) - Progout.  I had to take it because of the kidney stone episode I experienced last month, as the urologist thought it was would stop me from producing more stones, but instead all it did was to give me GOUT!  My GP told me that the urologist should have told me that this was a possible side effect and given me something else which would have controled the gout, but he didn't.  I'm now off the medication but I still have the gout in my left big toe.  I just thought I'd let you know what happened to me in case you had something similar occur.  I hope that this has not been your husbands case and that things continue to go well for him!  Take good care, cheers, Cath poppy/cath Tue, 13 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi, Cath.  Thank you again for another wonderful message.  We've had a new development with our mom during the night.My sister Wendy just called crying.  Mom called a nurse into her room this morning at 3:00 and said:  "I've made a decision.  I want you to write everything down and make six copies for my children."  She told the nurse:  "I'm done now."  She doesn't want any more treatments, no more medications aside from her insulin.  This means no more dialysis, no chemo.  She told the nurse:  'I want you to keep me comfortable and pain-free, that's all.  I just want to go to sleep."  Then she told the nurse:  "I want to tell my children I love them all dearly, I love my Faith Lutheran Church prayer partners dearly, and I love all my missionary friends.  But tell them I know I'll see them again on the other side."  She's been in excruciating pain - as you know so well yourself, I'm sure.  The doctor who told my brother David that of all the cancers mom could get, MM is the most merciful because the body produces a kind of analgesic affect as the disease progresses --- well, of course that turned out to be nothing but a big boat-load of manure.  [We joke that perhaps the man who stopped David in the hospital hall to tell him this wasn't a doctor at all, just some guy who stayed at a Holiday Inn Express the night before].  I know now there is nothing merciful about MM.The amazing thing is that for this discussion, the nurse told Wendy our mom was lucid and coherent -- but, you see, as recently as yesterday she has been kept on so much morphine that she's been "high" and hallucinating, only speaking gibberish and not able to maintain any meaningful thread of conversation.  So I see God's hand in what happened this morning at 3:00.  God can speak to us even through the stupor of drugs!!!!  (the application of this to my daughter, who is choosing very risky behavior in the drug culture,  has not been lost on me-- I consider this with my mom this morning to be like the blessings you emailed me about...how God used it to tell me something about my daughter, that He is still in control of all situations...not drugs nor disease can separate us from Him).Wendy in Minnesota called me in Arkansas and I called Robyn in Iowa...Robyn called David in Boston...Wendy called Dan in Florida...she's still trying to reach CJ in Nebraska.  Cath, I don't know what this means in terms of days left for my momma.  Without dialysis she will begin to have total renal failure.  The doctors told us when she was admitted that if they couldn't save her kidneys, she had soemthing like a 10-15 day count-down-to-heaven.  So...maybe 3 weeks?  I'm going to go up again as soon as I can.  If I wait, won't she be so drugged that there won't be much chance to interact?I'm a professional violinist.  The trip I just made to Minnesota to see her was very special - I played her favorite hymns for her on my violin by the hour in her hospital room.  There are a few more hymns left to play.  Without all the drugs, maybe for awhile she will be able to hear them and maybe even sing along.I am so sad, but I am also so happy she is going to the heaven I read about in Randy Alcorn's book (Heaven).  I am so glad my mom will be spared lots of suffering.  I am so glad I already got an entire week to play hymns for her every day and some special moments alone with her.  I am so glad my mom never stopped praying for me through all my rebellious years.  I am so glad my mother knows the Lord.  I am so glad I will see her again one day.  I just thought you would want to know. -Becky NewGuineaChild Tue, 13 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Dear Becky,  I feel so torn for you and your family.  It sounds as though your mom has had 'enough' and has chosen her own way to manage what will happen next.  Being there with her - even if she is not coherent - has to be a positive move, and I've heard many times that when people are in coma's they can still hear people talking to them, but they can not respond.  So, on that thought, if you are there playing for your momma she will know that you are there and that you are sharing your gift with her and I'm sure that she would be grateful.  And, perhaps, you will have times of clarity -- who knows?   For without the kidney treatment it certainly doesn't look promising, as well as the list of other problems that she faces - her body has been surviving for quite some time.  God be with you and your family as you face the next few weeks together.  My thoughts and prayers are with you all.  Cath poppy/cath Wed, 14 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT From Anna,Hi NewGuineaChild, Others have probably already answered you but your brother must have misheard cause this cancer does cause bone pain.  I have many links about MM if you'd like them let me know.  They will be helpful I think.  I don't want to overwhelm you but if you'd like them.  Just say so and I'll send them to you.  My Dad has had MM for 10 years now.  Your friend, Anna Anna9563 Thu, 29 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT