CancerCompass message board discussion started by angry on 5/15/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,24073,0.htm Sun, 12 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sun, 12 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ my beautiful mum lost her battle to lung cancer 3 weeks ago,weve been on this journey for just under a year. ive researched everything,ive tried everything and by the grace of god my mum was never ill,she had chemo and no problems then radiotherapy towards the end.unfortunately she died but she didnt suffer..which i was so afraid of. she just closed her eyes.... she never lost a pound in weight,and as much as it sounds weird was healthy.i believe her attitude helped,plus her diet of all red fruits etc. im now goin to do fund raising for cancer as i have to put my energy into something,my mum was also my best friend and im so lost without her i also have a 2 year old. if anyone wants to ask me anything,or if i can be of any help just ask..... angry Thu, 15 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am so sorry for your loss. What a special person you are to ask if you can help others in what must be the hardest time in your life. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.                                         Pat Patty5 Thu, 15 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am sorry for your loss and I will be praying for you. I am happy that your Mom went with so little complications. My Mom, who is also my best friend has stage 4 lung cancer, we just found out 2 weeks ago. They are giving her Tarceva to try to extend her life a little. I hope I am as graceful and thoughtful as you when I have to face life without her. I can't imagine what you are feeling, I am already feeling broken. I wish you and your family well. God Bless. Maggie   MaggieBee Fri, 16 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am so very sorry for your loss.  What a blessing that your mum didn't have to suffer through the illness; she was lucky to have you by her side in the battle.  May you and your family find peace with time. LostWithoutHer Fri, 16 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT I am losing my sweet mother to lung cancer, and she is suffering pretty badly right now and I cannot convince her to relieve her pain by taking any sort of pain meds now.It is so hard for me because I am the only child and my father just passed from liver cancer almost two years ago now.  I have family, but they are old and not able to travel often.  I have one cousin who is helping me out 2-3 days a week.  We will also be starting hospice next week.My problem is that I lose patience with my mom when she won't take her sleeping meds and/or pain meds.  I am praying for patience and direction from God to help.  It is almost unbearable at night when I see her restlessness/pain, and I can do nothing for her.  I need sleep or I cannot care for her during the day.   I feel like I just need to make it to Monday/Tuesday and then hospice will help, but they really won't be doing anything but visiting for short visits and then I am left all alone with her again with no one to talk to or help me w/ the endless chores, rounds of medication, draining the pleurx catheter, washing the sheets, shopping, cooking, etc..Has anyone else had this resistance to pain/sleep meds from their loved one or friend that they have had to deal with as a caregiver?  If so, how did you convince the patient that it was best for them to rest?Sleepless in Houston lolamojo Fri, 16 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/15/2008 angry wrote:my beautiful mum lost her battle to lung cancer 3 weeks ago,weve been on this journey for just under a year. ive researched everything,ive tried everything and by the grace of god my mum was never ill,she had chemo and no problems then radiotherapy towards the end.unfortunately she died but she didnt suffer..which i was so afraid of. she just closed her eyes.... i am so sorry for your loss.  may god bless you and your family at this time.  mom is in a better place and she is smiling so proudly on you from above.  thank you for offering up your help and knowledge.  a friend of mine was just diag. with stg 3 lung cancer.  can you please give me some advise to pass on to her, in ways of supplements or any treatment you think would help her pass onto her doctor.   i would appreciate any of your input.  thank you so much for your time in answering me, i know this time is very emotional for you now and i hope in time you will once again find peace in your life.  take care, renee'   she never lost a pound in weight,and as much as it sounds weird was healthy.i believe her attitude helped,plus her diet of all red fruits etc. im now goin to do fund raising for cancer as i have to put my energy into something,my mum was also my best friend and im so lost without her i also have a 2 year old. if anyone wants to ask me anything,or if i can be of any help just ask.....  prettylady2 Sun, 18 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/16/2008 lolamojo wrote:I am losing my sweet mother to lung cancer, and she is suffering pretty badly right now and I cannot convince her to relieve her pain by taking any sort of pain meds now.It is so hard for me because I am the only child and my father just passed from liver cancer almost two years ago now.  I have family, but they are old and not able to travel often.  I have one cousin who is helping me out 2-3 days a week.  We will also be starting hospice next week.My problem is that I lose patience with my mom when she won't take her sleeping meds and/or pain meds.  I am praying for patience and direction from God to help.  It is almost unbearable at night when I see her restlessness/pain, and I can do nothing for her.  I need sleep or I cannot care for her during the day.   I feel like I just need to make it to Monday/Tuesday and then hospice will help, but they really won't be doing anything but visiting for short visits and then I am left all alone with her again with no one to talk to or help me w/ the endless chores, rounds of medication, draining the pleurx catheter, washing the sheets, shopping, cooking, etc..Has anyone else had this resistance to pain/sleep meds from their loved one or friend that they have had to deal with as a caregiver?  If so, how did you convince the patient that it was best for them to rest?Sleepless in Houston Hi,I really feel for you; I know some of what you are experiencing.  It is too much to do alone.  I went through it with my mother, but I was lucky to have help.  You need to sleep.You may want to investigate Hospice houses if there are any near you.  They are not like hospitals and you would be able to stay with your mother as much as you wanted.  You would have the advantage of full time staff.My mother also had problems sleeping near the end and she was not resistant to taking medications.  My brother and I took turns sleeping next to her because she would wake up many times during the night.  We also sometimes had someone who would do a night shift.  I noticed that some of the meds seemed to agitate my mother, more than they really helped.  We were able to have someone come in to do acupuncture and that often made her feel better, although everything was always very temporary.  Reiki (one of the hospice home aids would give my mother free Reiki treatments) often helped her relax as well.Please write to me if there is anything I can do or say to help.  I know how hard it is.     Roz Rosalind Mon, 19 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT hi im sorry to hear about your friend,i read a lot about supplements but i chose not to go down that road as my mum was on quite alot of tablets.what i did do is get her a blender and she ate red fruits such as red grapes,plums,blueberrys etc and shed have a smoothie every day. the fruits have so much in them to help such as antioxidents that can help tumour growth and also she was getting so much vitamins that her imune system was in tip top condition....infact from day one we did this she never even got a cold.... i also used to get her to eat nuts any kind as again these have benefits... the most important question looking back is i should have asked is...when the dr said  she needed chemo,i never asked was there a alternative,what would happen if she didnt...the same when she had radiotherapy i never asked what where the pros and cons........... looking back if the dr said jump we would it wasnt until my mum had died that i had a meeting with the dr and asked these questions,and while i wouldnt of changed her treatment path i might of questioned the radiotherapy. another thing we never asked how long....who knows how long my mum never knew that this was going to be a short journey she planned for her holidays ,and i think this is what kept her going.i kinda knew and it takes away the person in a way as everything you do its at the back of your mind. again its up to the individual but while your worrying over cancer you could get hit by a car...........thats what i used to tell my mum and there is some stories of success so who knows your friend could be one of the lucky ones......... also she has to drink lots of water,as much as she can especially if on treatments and for a hot drink shed have green tea just a cup which is a great antioxident again.. what treatment is your friend going to have..i hope ive been a little help and if you wish to email me just let me know...i will answer anything that i can.... angry Mon, 19 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT