CancerCompass message board discussion started by Jilby on 5/20/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,24191,0.htm Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ Just wanted to post an update to my thread "Near the End"....Yesterday morning we had to call 911 to get a transport so we could take my Dad in. He had loss all ability to control urine and we know we had done everything we could at home. It was a rough weekend, but now I am SO happy he got the weekend in his home. Each day starting declining more and more. On Saturday afternoon he started refusing the decadron and on Sunday evening he was also refusing the seizure meds.I had printed out the timeline on Brainhospice.com a while back and when I refer to it...he went from 3-6 weeks on Friday, to 2-3 weeks on Saturday to 1-2 weeks on Sunday and yesterday I think we are at the 8-48 hours.We picked a nice Hospice facility and they reassured me that I had done my duty as a caregiver, given my dad all I could and now it was time to just be his daughter...take of care Dad that way. It's OK not to be the caregiver at the end. That really made me feel happy. My dad is so calm and peaceful. He is sleeping like a baby. He looks so comfortable and it's just amazing how fast this came on.Hospice has been wonderful, but it's also a bit creepy when your going in there. You know what the outcome will be. But it gives you a sense of peace to know that all the family that is there is going thru the exact same thing as you. This disease has been a roller coaster ride, never knowing the outcome..until Hospice. Finally no surprises....the goal is to keep your loved one comfortable and pray for a peaceful end to their pain and suffering.Thanks to all of you who have posted on the thread. I mean it when I say this was a great place to turn too. Thanks,Jill Jilby Tue, 20 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Jill,I'm sorry to hear about your fathers rapid decline and I will pray for you and your father in his last days. I pray that his passing will be as calm and peaceful as possible. May God give you strength and lift you up at this difficult time. Just remember he will soon be with the angels~God bless gr8ful4itall Tue, 20 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Jill, I am so very sorry about your Dad.  What a wonderfuldaughter you have been to him.  I pray that God will give youstrength and courage to help youre Dad with this latest journey. I will pray for all of you.God's blessings be with you.Connie  Houston Wife Tue, 20 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Jill,I'm so sorry for the downturn of your dad.  I know you have been a wonderful daughter standing by his side for the whole battle.  It sounds like he's at a good place that can take very good care of him.take careMary Inspaces Tue, 20 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Now that your Dad is being cared for, don't forget about yourself!  I hope for continued comfort & peace for your Dad in what you described as possibly his final hours.  Its good to hear Hospice is there - they are angels on Earth from what I understand.  Thank you for sharing your journey with us as well & always know you are not alone.  (((hugs)))  NikkiMom Dx 10/07 plum-size GBM Lt.parietal; 6wks rad/Temodar; 5/08 Gamma Knife; 2 rounds Temodar 2/08, 4/08; lives in my home Smilie Tue, 20 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Oh no, Jill......I can't beleive this is happening....it's just too fast.  What has happened?  I am scared and don't know what to make of this.  Please tell me what led up to this because our last conversation was good and just recent.  Our dads are so much alike, and our situations so simular. Please, if you can, talk it out to me.  I will listen....I just may be the vent that you need in some odd scheme of things.  Your family is in my prayers....I am almost finding it hard to swollow right now.  I have dreaded to the moment to come to see the people in my timeline decline.  I can not even explain how I feel right now.Jill----I am sending you the warmest, tightest hug, that only comes from a father from me to you right this minute!!!  As you read this I hope that you can feel squeeze or something, because it comes from someone that really means it!!!!  I am so sorry, I wish that I could say that everything will be ok, but who the heck knows!!!  Be brave, just as you have been.  Please keep intouch with me......I really do care!!!!~BunkyGOD GLIOBLASTOMA SUCKS!!!!! (you know.....no proof reading) Bunkydarl Tue, 20 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 5/20/2008 Jilby wrote:Just wanted to post an update to my thread "Near the End"....Yesterday morning we had to call 911 to get a transport so we could take my Dad in. He had loss all ability to control urine and we know we had done everything we could at home. It was a rough weekend, but now I am SO happy he got the weekend in his home. Each day starting declining more and more. On Saturday afternoon he started refusing the decadron and on Sunday evening he was also refusing the seizure meds.I had printed out the timeline on Brainhospice.com a while back and when I refer to it...he went from 3-6 weeks on Friday, to 2-3 weeks on Saturday to 1-2 weeks on Sunday and yesterday I think we are at the 8-48 hours.We picked a nice Hospice facility and they reassured me that I had done my duty as a caregiver, given my dad all I could and now it was time to just be his daughter...take of care Dad that way. It's OK not to be the caregiver at the end. That really made me feel happy. My dad is so calm and peaceful. He is sleeping like a baby. He looks so comfortable and it's just amazing how fast this came on.Hospice has been wonderful, but it's also a bit creepy when your going in there. You know what the outcome will be. But it gives you a sense of peace to know that all the family that is there is going thru the exact same thing as you. This disease has been a roller coaster ride, never knowing the outcome..until Hospice. Finally no surprises....the goal is to keep your loved one comfortable and pray for a peaceful end to their pain and suffering.Thanks to all of you who have posted on the thread. I mean it when I say this was a great place to turn too. Thanks,JillSorry to hear about your father.Our prayers are with you and your family. rally53 Tue, 20 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Dear Jill,I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost my brother to GBM back in October. I truely now how you feel and how hard it is to watch our loved one slip away. No that you did all you could do unfortunatly we are all helpless in this battle. I no my brother went very peacefully and Hospice was wonderful that keep them as comfortable as possible and they are wonderful support for you and your family. I almost 7 months later feel the pain of my brothers passing and wonder was there anything more we could have done to save him but I no in my heart there wasn't in was in Gods hands and he chose to take him. I talk to him every day in hopes that he can some how hear me and know how much I miss him, I don't think my life will ever be the same.  Tell your Dad how much you love him and how much he meant to you they say they can still hear you. It's hard letting go and saying good-bye but he will soon be at peace and maybe he'll meet my brother Stephen he was a great person and a true worrier of the GBM battle. They will live in our hearts forever. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.God BlessSteve's Little Sister, Susan sbent63 Wed, 21 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hey there, Jill....There's so little that words can do to comfort you at this time.  When Dad passed away in January, I found a deep sense of peace in knowing that, even as I was grieving, he had already seen Jesus face to face, something that we all look forward to in our hearts.  On my down days, I remind myself of the glories that Dad is enjoying now that he has been released from the bonds of thie earth.May God bless you, Jill, and your entire family as you continue your journey.  Remember that death from cancer does not mean that it wins.  Cancer can never win against a family that loves each other. brenda Midmogal Wed, 21 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thanks for all the messages. It helps to read them and know how people felt when they go through this. My dad is still with us. Hospice is a new thing to me. When my Mom died, she was in ICU and very sick from an infection...once we took her off the vent...she went quickly. I remember all the tubes, needles and machines she had....it was horrible.But my dad..he is peaceful. Just sleeping. He doesn't even look sick. It's amazing to me that he is leaving the earth shortly. I just want him to get better...like all the other times he was in the hospital...but I know in my heart, we are at the end. Sitting there watching him breath is probably the hardest thing about this ordeal. I keep wondering when it will stop and how I will feel. I go thru emotions in cycles...happy, sad, content, relaxed, anxiety, fear, guilt..more sadness...and then it repeats. I just keep telling myself this is part of the journey of life. Death is a part of it...even though my dad should still have some more years. I am thankful for the years that we did have...and actually the past year w/the diagnosis. I have to say I was able to get to know my dad on a different level...and a level that probably wouldn't exist today if it wasn't for the tumor. We led such busy lives before the sickness and it's amazing how once someone is diagnosed....you simply find the time to just BE w/one another. For that...we can thank cancer.The doctor told us yesterday it would be less than a week. Even though he is so peaceful and just sleeping...it's still hard to sit back and wait. He was quite aware today...so I took the opportunity to let him know his fighting is over..it's OK to go be with his wife..and then I also told him he had to make sure to say "hi" to my Mom. He smiled at me. I will cherish that moment forever.Jill Jilby Wed, 21 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT Oh Jill....your latest post brought tears to my eyes.....Every baby step is part of the process....every emotion is part of the healing....It was not so long ago that we spent the last 5 days of Dad's life right by his side dealing with all the raw emotions...I, too, came to see my Dad is a completely different light due to his cancer.  I'd always admired and respected and loved him, but to watch him so bravely fight the battle and keep a positive attitude and a genuine smile on his face, to see him realize that every day, even those filled with chemo or radiation or headaches or nausea, is a blessing from God, those are the little blessings that God provides in the midst of the battle.I do pray that your father's soul is right with God.  I know that my dad had made all his arrangements with the Lord, and I am confident that he passed away so much more peacefully because he knew something better than this world was waiting on the other side.My prayers to you and again, if there is absolutely anything I can do to help you through this hard time, you don't even hesitate to let me know.Brenda  Midmogal Thu, 22 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT