CancerCompass message board discussion started by Misty123 on 6/16/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,25096,0.htm Sun, 23 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sun, 23 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ Ok all, Mum was diagnosed stage 4 lung cancer on May 18th.  She has asked me to check out the donating  of the body for science..  Her wishes, I'm ok with that except they keep body for 1-3yrs then they cremate and send ashes...how do you go thru the death twice?  Any advice , help etc?  Misty123 Mon, 16 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT My mom and dad both donated their bodies.  It was difficult becaused of the wait.  You're right, they keep the bodies for 1-3 years because here in Ohio they are used for first year med students and they don't always have an up and coming class ready.  It's a very herorick thing to do as the bodies are used for teaching.  The Medical College held a beautiful and very classy memorial service for all those who donated during that year.  It was very comforting and I felt very proud.  The hard part was picking up the ashes afterwards as you state it's like re-living the death twice.  But try to think of it as one of the most unselfish things a person can do, to give even in death.  The other part I didn't like was that there was no grave to visit, nothing to put flowers on, etc.  My mom and dad are in a crypt at the cemetary and there is a plaque overhead with their names on it, date of birth/date of death and on occasion I go there.  Talk to the folks at the medical college where your mom will go and I'm sure you will find comfort.  I hope this helps. chef4u Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thank you it does help, to hear someone else with the same feelings helps a lott, I started thinking it was selfish of me to thionk that way.  I have to respect Mums wishes.  We both went to a Cancer drop in centre yeserday and discussed it with a worker there, she thought it was great that we can talk so open about it.  Thanks again. Misty123 Thu, 19 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 6/16/2008 Misty123 wrote:Ok all, Mum was diagnosed stage 4 lung cancer on May 18th.  She has asked me to check out the donating  of the body for science..  Her wishes, I'm ok with that except they keep body for 1-3yrs then they cremate and send ashes...how do you go thru the death twice?  Any advice , help etc? My mother dies in 2004 of a brain tumor.  she asked that we donate her body to science when she died.  We did.  We had a beautiful memorial service.  About one year after she died we were sent back her ashes.  There are 4 children.  Mom wanted to be sprinkled in the park or where ever we were comfortable doing it.  She did not want a grave site for us to go to and think of her as being there.  That fall after we got her ashes back, my husband and I had a trip planned to Europe.  My mother had always wanted to go, so I decided to take some of her ashes with me.  On Aug. 28 at 10 oclock EST I sprinkled her ashes in the Mediteranian Sea while in Europe.  The exact same time, my brother took her ashes to the park in the city where we are from, my younger brother had just gotten married and took them on their honeymoon cruise to the caribbean, and my sister took them to the lake where my mother loved to go to her houseboat.  We all sprinkled them at the same time.  We found this very comforting.  Everytime I go on vacation I take mom with me!  She always loved to travel.  I pull out the bottle and say "here's to you mom!" and sprinkle her ashes every new place we go.  She has been to Paris to see the Mona Lisa, Rome to see the vatican, Florence to see the statue of David, Amsterdam, Spain, Portugal, Monte Carlo, She was sprinkked off the Rock of Gilbraltar.  I have taken her all over the Caribbean.  She has been to Hawaii and sprinkled out of a helicopter, She has been to Alaska.  We travel every year with friends and they always ask if mom is coming.  We keep it light and fun as she would have wanted us too.  I never think of her as being DEAD.  She is the sweet smell of the rain.  The beautiful sunset in the evening.  The wonderful laughter of my grandchildren.  The roaring of the ocean.  The beautiful flowers in the spring.  The early morning songs of the birds.  She is Christmas morning.  She lives on in our hearts.When we went to the memorial service that the med students put on after they return the ashes, it was so wonderful.  One young student told us that they had used some of the donated bodies for denistry.  She said that there were 50 people in her class and those 50 people would have a practice of several hundred.  Just think of how many lives that touches!  Our mom was used for hip replacement study.  She would have been thrilled as she had a hip replacement at one point and it changed her life.  What a great way to give back!  I hope you can find some comfort in my writing.  please feel free to email me! Best Wishes! Kelliekjwb Fri, 20 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT