CancerCompass message board discussion started by AlcoaFB52 on 7/23/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,26383,0.htm Thu, 04 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thu, 04 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ I am 17 years old about to be a senior in highschool and my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Im thinking it was two months ago in May. Im not sure what stage it is in because my parents are kinda keeping me out of it, but i think it is in stage four because it had already spread to his liver when they found it, which made surgery not an option. Now he has been doing chemo and he has actually started eating a little bit now but his feet have swollen up real bad for like the past week or so and Im not sure if that is related or not. My question is for someone who has lost someone to pancreatic cancer. I would like to know when you lost that person did it just happen suddenly or was there signs and if there were signs could you please explain them to me. I also realize that no matter what anyone tells me every persons case is different Im just trying to learn all I can. Thank you. AlcoaFB52 Wed, 23 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT The edema (swelling) occurred after my mother was unable to have any more chemo due to her low blood cell count and we were recommended to look into hospice.  The swelling should be treated by the doctors, we had to change doctors to get her relief so advocate for your parents.  The fact that he is still able to do the chemo is a good sign.  As for my own circumstance I thought she had a good day and was having a recovery since she got out of her hospice bed and went down the hall on her own to her room.  Unfortunately the next morning she did not talk and passed quietly several hours later.  My best recommendations is to talk about anything and everything that you and your father need to as you never can tell what will follow a good or bad day.  I am so sorry for what you are going through as I thought it was unfair to lose a parent in my 30's.   HopeIsLove Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thank you for your reply. It is kind of hard to talk to either of my parents because around me I guess they are trying to appear strong and they act like nothing is wrong but i am trying and im sorry to hear about your mom. AlcoaFB52 Fri, 25 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT HI, I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost my mother to another type of cancer when I was in college, and I really regret that my family tried to present it as curable, so that I didn't make time to talk to her more and really spend some quality time with her. Of course, parents never want you to worry, but you are old enough, and are worrying anyway, so I would encourage you to talk to them and tell them that you know that this is terminal and time is short, and want to be included. I had the same questions as you when I lost my sister ot PC last year. After we found out it had spread to her liver - the doctor told us the average survival time was around 3 months. They don't like to tell you that because they could be really wrong in either direction. My sister had 6 months - and there are always those miracles who can make it longer.I hope that your parents have a Hospice care service because they can help you and other family members with the specific questions you have, as well as helping with any pain or digestive problems that arise. I find families never ask soon enough - as soon as you are diagnosed with PC - you should qualify for hospice - although some require that you not be currently receiving chemo. There are also "Pain Management" and "Palliative Care" departments/physicians in most large hospitals that can help. I personally got a lot of needed info from hospice websites that talk about what to do when the end is near, and how to help. I knew (although the oncologist still wouldn't admit it) that she was in her final 2 months when she had major abdominal swelling- called ascites. She was uncomfortable and had difficulty eating much of the time then, even though she had it drained weekly at the hospital for short term relief. She also had a nerve block procedure done in her back to numb a lot of the pain. She was able to act really normal, although tired, until the final 2 weeks, when she lost a lot of weight, began to have some trouble breathing, and sleep/wake states seemed to run together sometimes. In her final 2 days, she did not get out of her bed, vomited if any food or liquid was offered, talked very little, and seemed to be sleeping and not really in pain. The night she died, we called the hospice nurse because she was breathing erratically and she stayed with us until she passed - it was really helpful to have her there, although she rushed us to send her to the funeral home, when it would have been easier for her friends to see her at home before being moved. There apparently doesn't need to be a rush. I'm glad you found us here, and write back if we can be of any more help to you. You may also be able to find a family cancer support group in your community or hospital. You can also find phone support from others who have been through pancreatic cancer at www.pancan.org. Our prayers are with you.   Marybc Thu, 31 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 7/23/2008 AlcoaFB52 wrote:I am 17 years old about to be a senior in highschool and my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Im thinking it was two months ago in May. Im not sure what stage it is in because my parents are kinda keeping me out of it, but i think it is in stage four because it had already spread to his liver when they found it, which made surgery not an option. Now he has been doing chemo and he has actually started eating a little bit now but his feet have swollen up real bad for like the past week or so and Im not sure if that is related or not. My question is for someone who has lost someone to pancreatic cancer. I would like to know when you lost that person did it just happen suddenly or was there signs and if there were signs could you please explain them to me. I also realize that no matter what anyone tells me every persons case is different Im just trying to learn all I can. Thank you. Hi,  I am so sorry that your Dad is ill.  i am going to share some of the things we saw my brother go thru recently before he passed away because I wish we had known some of this ahead of time.  One of our biggest questions after he was diagnosed was  ......is this the beginning or is this the end???  Unfortunately, my brother died only 2 weeks after finding out.  His ordeal began with difficulty eating and keeping food down.  Then dry heaves. Then he became very dehydrated because he couldn't keep fluid down.  His lower legs became very very swollen. He never complained of pain except being uncomfortable.  Hospitalized because of the severe dehydration.  Put on morphine patch because he could not eat or drink,  breaks my heart.  Had one chemo treatment and then got some infection and 2 days later passed away.  His legs lost all of the swelling the night before due to excessive perspiring, probably due to the high fever or organ failure. He died with normal size legs etc.  He had a few severe shaking episodes in the 2 days prior to his death and then as I sat with him he just took one deep breath and was gone.  I hope and pray for a better outcome for you and your family.  The day my brother passed away, his doctors were there and said they thought he would pass in a couple of days.  It was a couple of hours later.  Nobody knows for sure, but now I know that the last few weeks of my brother's life was going thru the dying process.  Keep me updated. I care. neverthesame Sun, 24 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT