CancerCompass message board discussion started by chef4u on 8/7/2008 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,26907,0.htm Fri, 21 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT Fri, 21 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ I don't know if any doctors read this site or not, but I wish they did.  We just had a huge scare today.  My husband had a CAT Scan 2 days ago and we know his cancer has spread to his liver.  He is back in chemo.  We know this.  Last week I filed SS disability paperwork for him.  I got home from work early today and my husband was getting dressed.  I asked him where he was going.  He said the doctor's office just called and wants me to come in.  I couldn't understand this as we already knew the scan results and he started more chemo yesterday.  This was his family doctor, not the oncologist.  So, scared out of our wits, off to the doctor we go.  They said "Oh, we called you in to help us fill out the paperwork for your disability claim"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!  I was livid.  Why didn't they tell us that over the phone instead of causing a panic situation.  I couldn't help but sit there and just bawl like a baby.  We've had so much stress lately and then to go through this.  Why are they so uncaring and unthinking?  Would it have hurt to say we need to see you to help fill out the paperwork?  What is wrong with these so-called educated people.  Doctors, PLEASE if you read this THINK TWICE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. Thank you for letting me vent. chef4u Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/7/2008 chef4u wrote:I don't know if any doctors read this site or not, but I wish they did.  We just had a huge scare today.  My husband had a CAT Scan 2 days ago and we know his cancer has spread to his liver.  He is back in chemo.  We know this.  Last week I filed SS disability paperwork for him.  I got home from work early today and my husband was getting dressed.  I asked him where he was going.  He said the doctor's office just called and wants me to come in.  I couldn't understand this as we already knew the scan results and he started more chemo yesterday.  This was his family doctor, not the oncologist.  So, scared out of our wits, off to the doctor we go.  They said "Oh, we called you in to help us fill out the paperwork for your disability claim"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!  I was livid.  Why didn't they tell us that over the phone instead of causing a panic situation.  I couldn't help but sit there and just bawl like a baby.  We've had so much stress lately and then to go through this.  Why are they so uncaring and unthinking?  Would it have hurt to say we need to see you to help fill out the paperwork?  What is wrong with these so-called educated people.  Doctors, PLEASE if you read this THINK TWICE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. Thank you for letting me vent. Always ask and don't assume anything in the future.  It saves a lot of truama and ill feelings.  If a doctor calls me and asks me to come in I sure as hell will ask "what for?"  If I get a call on the phone on scan or test results, I don't wait until I get there worrying and fretting all the time.  I ask for the results on the phone.  I hope you got on them on this and find out why it happened. If you get an uncaring response, get another primary Doc.  I hope things work out for you.  I was stage 3a colon cancer 3 years ago and I am NED at the time.  I always say "Pray,  Fight like hell & wrap your family and friends around you."  God Bless andGood Luck Arnold Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi I can understand why you were so scared but please realize it wasn't the doctors that called.  You have young people who aren't experienced in telephone manners and also just some plain unthinking/unsensitive people who work in doctors offices.  Thank heavens they are in the minority but it sure wasn't fair to you or your husband.  I would make the doctor aware of what happened in the hope that it doesn't happen to another person.  It is just plain ridiculous that you would even have to go there in person to help them fill out the paperwork.  As if you don't have enough to worry about.  Diana Dlynn1210 Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Re: DoctorsVenting is good, you have a valid point. There is NO reason for the Dr's staff to not tell you the reason for the unscheduled visit. Perhaps it could have been handled by phone, with your signing on another day. No wonder you were on 'overload', there was just too much happening all at once.I firmly believe all medical staff should begin as patients, to see how 'the other side' works. Doctors are notoriously bad patients, they would learn a lot of 'what not-to-dos' during that time. This may not be your Dr's fault at all, but they all do need to know how their office is staffed. There should be Secret Shoppers that Doctor's hire  to reinforce patient's rights, determining how their phone is answered, what the average wait-time for an appointment ends up being, how long is the in-office wait time once there . . .(ie. do they consistently overbook people and cause long waits, showing no consideration for patient's time?), just how courteous is the staff when the Dr. is not around, etc. Or perhaps a Consumers Rating System could be started. Further training is always a good idea. As a 3x survivor, I would LOVE to have more input on some of them than I do as a 'mere' patient! I would speak to the Dr. about this and see if you 'connect' over the issue of needless worry and see if it helps you feel better about the way the office is run. If this is indicative of their usual M.O., maybe it's time to look around for another care facility. People who are ill, AND their caregivers, need to conserve their energy and this did not help. I don't know how far the drive was, but in my case it might be 30 min. to an hour each wayBe good to yourself and recharge your battery whenever you can. I head for the lake or disappear into a book, sometimes both at once~Hope this helps.Barb  BarbInTexas Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Hi BarbI have to relate my experience at the Cancer Treatment Center of America where I underwent treatment.  They have little purple cards all over the center that have a fish on the front.  It says "You have been caught".  When someone does something nice for you, you can fill out one of the cards giving the person's name.  I know there must be a reward system because when I thanked a woman cafeteria worker last week for coming over to me last fall and asking me how I was and could she get anything for me - she asked me to fill out one of the cards.  I couldn't remember if I had thanked her or not I was so sick that day.  I think the cards are a gret incentive.  Also, every time I am there they have someone asking people filling out questionaires while waiting for a doctor.  It request your input as to waiting time, satisfaction with doctors, any problems being handled, etc - in all 3 or 4 pages.  You rate them on a scale ranging from poor to excellent.  Last week for the first time I added that I would like to have had more information on how they read the blood tests while I was going through treatment.  This was Thur and I got a call yesterday from my patient care manager who said "I heard you would like an explanation of your blood tests".  WOW!  My local hospital only sent me a notice for donations after my visits - I honestly think they got enough from our insurance company and us for the remaining unpaid balance without a donation.  I agree, it would be nice if all doctors requested input from their patients.  I wonder how anyone could go about accomplishing that? Diana  Dlynn1210 Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT On 8/7/2008 Dlynn1210 wrote:Hi BarbI have to relate my experience at the Cancer Treatment Center of America where I underwent treatment.  They have little purple cards all over the center that have a fish on the front.  It says "You have been caught".  When someone does something nice for you, you can fill out one of the cards giving the person's name.  I know there must be a reward system because when I thanked a woman cafeteria worker last week for coming over to me last fall and asking me how I was and could she get anything for me - she asked me to fill out one of the cards.  I couldn't remember if I had thanked her or not I was so sick that day.  I think the cards are a gret incentive.  Also, every time I am there they have someone asking people filling out questionaires while waiting for a doctor.  It request your input as to waiting time, satisfaction with doctors, any problems being handled, etc - in all 3 or 4 pages.  You rate them on a scale ranging from poor to excellent.  Last week for the first time I added that I would like to have had more information on how they read the blood tests while I was going through treatment.  This was Thur and I got a call yesterday from my patient care manager who said "I heard you would like an explanation of your blood tests".  WOW!  My local hospital only sent me a notice for donations after my visits - I honestly think they got enough from our insurance company and us for the remaining unpaid balance without a donation.  I agree, it would be nice if all doctors requested input from their patients.  I wonder how anyone could go about accomplishing that? Diana  H Diana There is a website where one can rate their doctors and read the ratings of others as well. At this time I have two medical doctors, one a general practitioner and one in speciality medicine. The ratings range from one to five with five being the highest. In my own particular case, the many ratings on my two doctors average out to a rating of one for one of them and a five for the other. Those ratings fit exactly in with what my experience with them would predict. Here's the link if you'd be interested in checking it out. http://www.ratemds.com/social/ Shemay Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/7/2008 chef4u wrote:I don't know if any doctors read this site or not, but I wish they did.  We just had a huge scare today.  My husband had a CAT Scan 2 days ago and we know his cancer has spread to his liver.  He is back in chemo.  We know this.  Last week I filed SS disability paperwork for him.  I got home from work early today and my husband was getting dressed.  I asked him where he was going.  He said the doctor's office just called and wants me to come in.  I couldn't understand this as we already knew the scan results and he started more chemo yesterday.  This was his family doctor, not the oncologist.  So, scared out of our wits, off to the doctor we go.  They said "Oh, we called you in to help us fill out the paperwork for your disability claim"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!  I was livid.  Why didn't they tell us that over the phone instead of causing a panic situation.  I couldn't help but sit there and just bawl like a baby.  We've had so much stress lately and then to go through this.  Why are they so uncaring and unthinking?  Would it have hurt to say we need to see you to help fill out the paperwork?  What is wrong with these so-called educated people.  Doctors, PLEASE if you read this THINK TWICE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. Thank you for letting me vent. Most doctor surgery staff are not unthinking or insensitive there just trying to protect your Confidentiality when you ring up a doctor surgery they have to follow a stick code of conduct of Confidentiality doctor surgery staff will not give out any information about you even to the police unless a warrant is serve on the surgery this includes  any patient information over the phone they are trying to protect them self and you from litigation. So all they can do is tell you to come in to fill out paper work or get test results most times your protected from the reception staff from knowing test results as most time you have to see  the doctor to get your test results doctor  to patient           jcr65566 Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thanks Shemay - I think it is a great idea - glad someone thought of it.  I will definitely check it out.  Imagine - being able to check a doctor out before you go to them.  I keep saying sometimes we forget that while someone graduated at the top of the class - someone also graduated at the bottom.  I'm a little funny about it but I would rather have one that at least was somewhere in the top.  Diana Dlynn1210 Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT The little card 'reviews' are a great idea. Am also impressed with the speed with which your patient advocate returned to you for bloodwork explanation you'd requested, that IS impressive!People don't get paid enough in most cases so a pat on the back is usually most welcome. It's also nice to tell their boss in person how impressed you are, if that is the case, in either a good or bad way. Too many people only gripe, but we all need compliments for a job well-done, or service above and beyond.For years I've thought of printing out cards for restaurant service, aflip-side for bad and good service. Many applications I can think offor these. Thanks for this info. Barb  BarbInTexas Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/7/2008 jcr65566 wrote: On 8/7/2008 chef4u wrote:I don't know if any doctors read this site or not, but I wish they did.  We just had a huge scare today.  My husband had a CAT Scan 2 days ago and we know his cancer has spread to his liver.  He is back in chemo.  We know this.  Last week I filed SS disability paperwork for him.  I got home from work early today and my husband was getting dressed.  I asked him where he was going.  He said the doctor's office just called and wants me to come in.  I couldn't understand this as we already knew the scan results and he started more chemo yesterday.  This was his family doctor, not the oncologist.  So, scared out of our wits, off to the doctor we go.  They said "Oh, we called you in to help us fill out the paperwork for your disability claim"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!  I was livid.  Why didn't they tell us that over the phone instead of causing a panic situation.  I couldn't help but sit there and just bawl like a baby.  We've had so much stress lately and then to go through this.  Why are they so uncaring and unthinking?  Would it have hurt to say we need to see you to help fill out the paperwork?  What is wrong with these so-called educated people.  Doctors, PLEASE if you read this THINK TWICE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. Thank you for letting me vent. Most doctor surgery staff are not unthinking or insensitive there just trying to protect your Confidentiality when you ring up a doctor surgery they have to follow a stick code of conduct of Confidentiality doctor surgery staff will not give out any information about you even to the police unless a warrant is serve on the surgery this includes  any patient information over the phone they are trying to protect them self and you from litigation. So all they can do is tell you to come in to fill out paper work or get test results most times your protected from the reception staff from knowing test results as most time you have to see  the doctor to get your test results doctor  to patient          I understand all of that.  What I said was THEY CALLED US.  We DID NOT call them.  When they called, they could have said "TO FILL OUT PAPER WORK".  But they left us hanging.  It's not right and we are all on this board going through enough mental anguish without this happening.  I can understand it if we were the ones to call and asked questions, but again, they called us.  Excuse me for sounding like I'm yelling, but I had to get my point accross.  chef4u Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/7/2008 Arnold wrote: On 8/7/2008 chef4u wrote:I don't know if any doctors read this site or not, but I wish they did.  We just had a huge scare today.  My husband had a CAT Scan 2 days ago and we know his cancer has spread to his liver.  He is back in chemo.  We know this.  Last week I filed SS disability paperwork for him.  I got home from work early today and my husband was getting dressed.  I asked him where he was going.  He said the doctor's office just called and wants me to come in.  I couldn't understand this as we already knew the scan results and he started more chemo yesterday.  This was his family doctor, not the oncologist.  So, scared out of our wits, off to the doctor we go.  They said "Oh, we called you in to help us fill out the paperwork for your disability claim"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!  I was livid.  Why didn't they tell us that over the phone instead of causing a panic situation.  I couldn't help but sit there and just bawl like a baby.  We've had so much stress lately and then to go through this.  Why are they so uncaring and unthinking?  Would it have hurt to say we need to see you to help fill out the paperwork?  What is wrong with these so-called educated people.  Doctors, PLEASE if you read this THINK TWICE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. Thank you for letting me ventAlways ask and don't assume anything in the future.  It saves a lot of truama and ill feelings.  If a doctor calls me and asks me to come in I sure as hell will ask "what for?"  If I get a call on the phone on scan or test results, I don't wait until I get there worrying and fretting all the time.  I ask for the results on the phone.  I hope you got on them on this and find out why it happened. If you get an uncaring response, get another primary Doc.  I hope things work out for you.  I was stage 3a colon cancer 3 years ago and I am NED at the time.  I always say "Pray,  Fight like hell & wrap your family and friends around you."  God Bless andGood LuckThank you.  Had I been home when the call came, I definitely would have asked.  However, I just walked in the door when my husband said he got the call.  Right now, he's not capable of asking many questions.  You're so right about Prayer.  It does work and I do it constantly.I did give the doctor's office my cell number and told them from now on to call ME and do not call the house.  We'll see if they listen.   chef4u Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/7/2008 Dlynn1210 wrote:Hi I can understand why you were so scared but please realize it wasn't the doctors that called.  You have young people who aren't experienced in telephone manners and also just some plain unthinking/unsensitive people who work in doctors offices.  Thank heavens they are in the minority but it sure wasn't fair to you or your husband.  I would make the doctor aware of what happened in the hope that it doesn't happen to another person.  It is just plain ridiculous that you would even have to go there in person to help them fill out the paperwork.  As if you don't have enough to worry about.  DianaThank you Diana,  I found out when we got there that it was his nurse who called and she too should have known better.  You can believe they got an earful from me, but nothing was left to do other than for them to apologize in which they did.  By the time we left, I had calmed down some.  chef4u Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/7/2008 BarbInTexas wrote:Re: DoctorsVenting is good, you have a valid point. There is NO reason for the Dr's staff to not tell you the reason for the unscheduled visit. Perhaps it could have been handled by phone, with your signing on another day. No wonder you were on 'overload', there was just too much happening all at once.I firmly believe all medical staff should begin as patients, to see how 'the other side' works. Doctors are notoriously bad patients, they would learn a lot of 'what not-to-dos' during that time. This may not be your Dr's fault at all, but they all do need to know how their office is staffed. There should be Secret Shoppers that Doctor's hire  to reinforce patient's rights, determining how their phone is answered, what the average wait-time for an appointment ends up being, how long is the in-office wait time once there . . .(ie. do they consistently overbook people and cause long waits, showing no consideration for patient's time?), just how courteous is the staff when the Dr. is not around, etc. Or perhaps a Consumers Rating System could be started. Further training is always a good idea. As a 3x survivor, I would LOVE to have more input on some of them than I do as a 'mere' patient! I would speak to the Dr. about this and see if you 'connect' over the issue of needless worry and see if it helps you feel better about the way the office is run. If this is indicative of their usual M.O., maybe it's time to look around for another care facility. People who are ill, AND their caregivers, need to conserve their energy and this did not help. I don't know how far the drive was, but in my case it might be 30 min. to an hour each wayBe good to yourself and recharge your battery whenever you can. I head for the lake or disappear into a book, sometimes both at once~Hope this helps.Barb Thank you Barb.  You are so right.  Fortunately the drive was only 5 minutes away.  It's funny you mention "secret shoppers" because I work for a company of secret shoppers and there is one gynocological group that we "shop" via telephone out in Arizona.  It's a great idea. chef4u Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT OMG, never dreamed Secret Shoppers for Doctors actually existed!!! And here I thought I was being creative!!!  Might have known~So, how are things going now, did you ever get to speak to the staff or Dr. about your "Emergency" visit to the Dr.?  I hope your heart rate has returned to normal by now, that was poor planning on their part to call and not mention why you needed to come in. Especially when they were speaking with the patient so there were NO privacy issues involved. Wouldn't be breaking a bond to mention "paperwork" needed to be done, I wouldn't think.May your day be filled with peaceful moments for you both~   BarbInTexas Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/8/2008 BarbInTexas wrote:OMG, never dreamed Secret Shoppers for Doctors actually existed!!! And here I thought I was being creative!!!  Might have known~So, how are things going now, did you ever get to speak to the staff or Dr. about your "Emergency" visit to the Dr.?  I hope your heart rate has returned to normal by now, that was poor planning on their part to call and not mention why you needed to come in. Especially when they were speaking with the patient so there were NO privacy issues involved. Wouldn't be breaking a bond to mention "paperwork" needed to be done, I wouldn't think.May your day be filled with peaceful moments for you both~  Dear BarbinTexas,Thank you and you put a smile on my face. (much needed).  I've calmed down considerably and you better believe they got an ear full.  I was crying and the whole bit.  I didn't care.  They deserved everything.  I kept my cool and didn't cuss or anything like that, but they knew I was livid.  I don't think it'll happen again.  Yep, secret shoppers for doctors in Arizona and the calls are recorded to boot so they know we're not making anything up.  Although I must say in Arizona the staff is pretty nice.  They are here too for the most part except for my experience yesterday.  We'll see if anything changes.  At least I don't think they'll ever do that to us again and I hope no one else either.   chef4u Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/8/2008 chef4u wrote: On 8/7/2008 jcr65566 wrote: On 8/7/2008 chef4u wrote:I don't know if any doctors read this site or not, but I wish they did.  We just had a huge scare today.  My husband had a CAT Scan 2 days ago and we know his cancer has spread to his liver.  He is back in chemo.  We know this.  Last week I filed SS disability paperwork for him.  I got home from work early today and my husband was getting dressed.  I asked him where he was going.  He said the doctor's office just called and wants me to come in.  I couldn't understand this as we already knew the scan results and he started more chemo yesterday.  This was his family doctor, not the oncologist.  So, scared out of our wits, off to the doctor we go.  They said "Oh, we called you in to help us fill out the paperwork for your disability claim"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!  I was livid.  Why didn't they tell us that over the phone instead of causing a panic situation.  I couldn't help but sit there and just bawl like a baby.  We've had so much stress lately and then to go through this.  Why are they so uncaring and unthinking?  Would it have hurt to say we need to see you to help fill out the paperwork?  What is wrong with these so-called educated people.  Doctors, PLEASE if you read this THINK TWICE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. Thank you for letting me vent. Most doctor surgery staff are not unthinking or insensitive there just trying to protect your Confidentiality when you ring up a doctor surgery they have to follow a stick code of conduct of Confidentiality doctor surgery staff will not give out any information about you even to the police unless a warrant is serve on the surgery this includes  any patient information over the phone they are trying to protect them self and you from litigation. So all they can do is tell you to come in to fill out paper work or get test results most times your protected from the reception staff from knowing test results as most time you have to see  the doctor to get your test results doctor  to patient          I understand all of that.  What I said was THEY CALLED US.  We DID NOT call them.  When they called, they could have said "TO FILL OUT PAPER WORK".  But they left us hanging.  It's not right and we are all on this board going through enough mental anguish without this happening.  I can understand it if we were the ones to call and asked questions, but again, they called us.  Excuse me for sounding like I'm yelling, but I had to get my point accross. That’s ok your right the way they treat us is wrong I feel like all they really think we are is a set of symptoms and a disease that needs treating. And nothing more. you can vent any time you like. You know some of my wife friends who are doctors say the sugary they work in is the number one practice in there field I reckon your right there a number two Cheers Ray jcr65566 Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT I think we need to clarify the issue a bit here.  This is not about doctors in general.  It is about a specific case that was not handled properly by an individual in a doctors office. I think the caregiver has taken care of this and I am sure it will not happen again.  This did not happen because a DOCTOR did not handle a situation properly.  Some could surely brush up a bit on their bedside manner and their general demeanor.  I think we have all learned to make sure that we have open lines of communication with our medical professionals and that they know clearly what our needs are. Arnold Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Well, good for you!!  I know, we're there now, too. Some days are beyond stress . . . you feel so helpless when dealing with cancer, that you need to control everything else that you CAN or it seems that all things will go completely out-of-control in your life. This is one healthy way to vent plus straighten up the world in general. ;-)  As I tell my husband, who is dealing w/ his cancer now after being on the sidelines of mine for several years, this is one way to get rid of some stress and correct some things that 'bug' you. He's a very angry person right now. My M.O. now is "Give it back to the ones who deserve it." Yes, don't cuss but do let people know they cannot treat you that way, and perhaps it will carry over to their treatment of others and you have scored one for the team in the process. If his order is wrong 3 times at the fast food drive up window, he needs to tell them, not come home and give that anger to me. He's doing much better at dealing with the original anger now that he's adopted my methods, instead of sand-bagging it for 'later'.  Unloading on an innocent person (who also happens to be your caregiver) is certainly not wise!Hang in there, we can both fake 'rational' when we need to, but doesn't it feel good to let someone have it when they deserve it?!?!? Bet so. I'm tired of being a number and deserve to be treated like a person, no matter how busy people are, they can take a moment to THINK before they act.  BarbInTexas Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Make sure to give your husband's dr's office WRITTEN authorization and instructions to call you first.  With both you AND your husband's signatures. Don't rely on just telling them - if it's not put on the chart in writing, and if your husband's signature is not on it,  they are not legally bound to honor your verbal request.Yes, having to do this is a PITA, but better to get it documented and on the chart now, than to have to go thru this all over again sometime later down the road.Also make sure the insurance company has written authorization signed by your husband for you to have access to his records.  I hope you don't ever need it, but you should get it now, in case your husband becomes incapable of signing.  OH BOY - I really hate to say this, but while I'm at it - check into advance directives, too.  Much better to never need them, to have gone to some effort for nothing, than to realize you really need them and have it be too late to do anything about it.And keep copies of EVERYTHING, including authorizations for release of info. (sorry to be such a glum-gobber - I much prefer posts where I talk about supplements and can be more upbeat!!!   but hey, that's what those of us with experience are here for!!) good luck, and keep helping your man kick cancer in the butt!!!Sincerely, Tre trehouse60 Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/8/2008 chef4u wrote: On 8/7/2008 jcr65566 wrote: On 8/7/2008 chef4u wrote:I don't know if any doctors read this site or not, but I wish they did.  We just had a huge scare today.  My husband had a CAT Scan 2 days ago and we know his cancer has spread to his liver.  He is back in chemo.  We know this.  Last week I filed SS disability paperwork for him.  I got home from work early today and my husband was getting dressed.  I asked him where he was going.  He said the doctor's office just called and wants me to come in.  I couldn't understand this as we already knew the scan results and he started more chemo yesterday.  This was his family doctor, not the oncologist.  So, scared out of our wits, off to the doctor we go.  They said "Oh, we called you in to help us fill out the paperwork for your disability claim"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!  I was livid.  Why didn't they tell us that over the phone instead of causing a panic situation.  I couldn't help but sit there and just bawl like a baby.  We've had so much stress lately and then to go through this.  Why are they so uncaring and unthinking?  Would it have hurt to say we need to see you to help fill out the paperwork?  What is wrong with these so-called educated people.  Doctors, PLEASE if you read this THINK TWICE WHAT YOU'RE DOING. Thank you for letting me vent. Most doctor surgery staff are not unthinking or insensitive there just trying to protect your Confidentiality when you ring up a doctor surgery they have to follow a stick code of conduct of Confidentiality doctor surgery staff will not give out any information about you even to the police unless a warrant is serve on the surgery this includes  any patient information over the phone they are trying to protect them self and you from litigation. So all they can do is tell you to come in to fill out paper work or get test results most times your protected from the reception staff from knowing test results as most time you have to see  the doctor to get your test results doctor  to patient          I understand all of that.  What I said was THEY CALLED US.  We DID NOT call them.  When they called, they could have said "TO FILL OUT PAPER WORK".  But they left us hanging.  It's not right and we are all on this board going through enough mental anguish without this happening.  I can understand it if we were the ones to call and asked questions, but again, they called us.  Excuse me for sounding like I'm yelling, but I had to get my point accross. Hi chef4u sorry about the last post so Let’s just do this a gain as I’m afraid I might have raffled a few feathers with my last post not only on the cancer compass website but close to home as will I’m sorry I was tied it was late at night when I wrote that post lets start again. What I want to say is in a medical  practice the Doctor only concern with the running of his surgery they have very little to do with the running of reception in any medical practice unless some thing go’s wrong then that’s the job of the practice manager or the practice nurse to let the doctor know the problem. In a medical practice the reception stuff are usually only trained in office and reception procedures they usually have no medical training  I agree with you there is no excuse for them not telling you that all they wanted you to do was come in to sign papers. I feel they should apologize to you so write to the practice manager tell them what happened it will make you feel better. And the practice manager will address the reception staff member about his/her patient phone handling procedure . Cheers Ray        jcr65566 Sat, 09 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/8/2008 trehouse60 wrote:Make sure to give your husband's dr's office WRITTEN authorization and instructions to call you first.  With both you AND your husband's signatures. Don't rely on just telling them - if it's not put on the chart in writing, and if your husband's signature is not on it,  they are not legally bound to honor your verbal request.Yes, having to do this is a PITA, but better to get it documented and on the chart now, than to have to go thru this all over again sometime later down the road.Also make sure the insurance company has written authorization signed by your husband for you to have access to his records.  I hope you don't ever need it, but you should get it now, in case your husband becomes incapable of signing.  OH BOY - I really hate to say this, but while I'm at it - check into advance directives, too.  Much better to never need them, to have gone to some effort for nothing, than to realize you really need them and have it be too late to do anything about it.And keep copies of EVERYTHING, including authorizations for release of info. (sorry to be such a glum-gobber - I much prefer posts where I talk about supplements and can be more upbeat!!!   but hey, that's what those of us with experience are here for!!) good luck, and keep helping your man kick cancer in the butt!!!Sincerely, Tre Hi Tre:  That is excellent advise.  Thank you.  We do have me signed on everything for if the time ever comes that I have to be the ultimate decision maker.  Took care of that with our attorney last summer.  However, your suggestion about sending a written letter to each doctor personally is something I've never thought about.  Excellent and I will take care of that this week.Yes, it's great to talk about more pleasant things, but we do also have to be realistic.  Thanks again.Kathy chef4u Sat, 09 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT  On 8/8/2008 BarbInTexas wrote:Well, good for you!!  I know, we're there now, too. Some days are beyond stress . . . you feel so helpless when dealing with cancer, that you need to control everything else that you CAN or it seems that all things will go completely out-of-control in your life. This is one healthy way to vent plus straighten up the world in general. ;-)  As I tell my husband, who is dealing w/ his cancer now after being on the sidelines of mine for several years, this is one way to get rid of some stress and correct some things that 'bug' you. He's a very angry person right now. My M.O. now is "Give it back to the ones who deserve it." Yes, don't cuss but do let people know they cannot treat you that way, and perhaps it will carry over to their treatment of others and you have scored one for the team in the process. If his order is wrong 3 times at the fast food drive up window, he needs to tell them, not come home and give that anger to me. He's doing much better at dealing with the original anger now that he's adopted my methods, instead of sand-bagging it for 'later'.  Unloading on an innocent person (who also happens to be your caregiver) is certainly not wise!Hang in there, we can both fake 'rational' when we need to, but doesn't it feel good to let someone have it when they deserve it?!?!? Bet so. I'm tired of being a number and deserve to be treated like a person, no matter how busy people are, they can take a moment to THINK before they act. Hi Barb.  I know what you mean.  My husband isn't always the best of patients nor does he have much patience, but for the most part, I can deal with that.  Even tho I'm his wife, I can only imagine what must be going through his mind knowing he may be on the losing end of this battle.  It breaks my heart.  I just pray that God will grant him peace and I try very hard to keep a positive, upbeat attitude.  As someone in another program once told me:  "fake it till you make it".  Good advise.I think doctors and nurses and staff get so used to seeing this everyday that they become immune to it.  I know they'd probably go crazy if they took every case/person to heart, then they wouldn't be able to do their job effectively.  After owning my own business in the past, I'm a real stickler with good old fashioned customer service and that's all I expect from others that I am paying.  I don't think anyone would disagree with me.  Kindness and forthought only takes a moment and does not cost anything, but if not done you can have a lot to lose.Kathy chef4u Sat, 09 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Some days you just have to cry, together or separately. And I think if the person with cancer NEVER sees you cry or acting sad, they might think you don't care much. My Dad was undemonstrative, no hugs, nothing but a stiff upper lip. No different when I was sick (& dying?)  It made me feel I could not talk with him about it much. I remember seeing my Mom staying as busy as she could to KEEP from crying, and just wished she'd sit down and talk & cry with me and let us both be honest about it for a while. (later, w/ my breast cancer, we did just that.) I'd hear her cry at night or see her eyes in the morning and just give her a hug. I was an only and she was afraid she'd lose me at 42, and here I'm 63 now and they're both gone.Mom was an R.N. and would come home sometimes after losing a favorite patient and just cry. Then go back the next day and be professional again. There's a fine line they have to walk. They have to reserve a bit of themselves and not go all emotional on a daily basis, in order to remain effective and focused, but if the day ever comes that they don't care, it's time to hang it up and find another job.I hope you will fish around on this site and find some other areas where the messages will provide help, comfort and tips. Good luck in your journey, write when you can and let us know how it's going for you, okay?  And get away for awhile as often as you can so you don't let this be your entire life, we are no good when we have run out of juice, we need to keep up the energy and have some bright spots to counteract the bad times. Take care,Barb  BarbInTexas Sat, 09 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT