CancerCompass message board discussion started by Nellie05 on 8/12/2005 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,2724,0.htm Fri, 21 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT Fri, 21 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ My uncle is dying of lung cancer. They (drs.) stopped chemo and other treatments over a month ago. 3 weeks ago he went to a doctor's appointment and before he made it back home Hospice phoned. They are now in place and see him daily. He lives alone. Today I was visiting him when the PCA came to help with his bath, etc., I had stepped outside for only a few moments while she went to empty the washbowl. We left him sitting in his easy chair. We both went back into his room and he was lying on the floor, disoriented. Today he could bearly take a step. We sat him back in his chair till we could change the bedlinens which he had urinated on (also a first). I watched him sitting there and his upper body kept leaning toward the arm, like he had no control over raising his head or sitting straight. This frightened me badly. He also smokes, even though he knows he shouldn't. I am concerned because he lives alone and doesn't want anyone catering to him. He barely allows the PCA to attend him. My question is, is he heading to the end? Is this part of the last... god, I can't even write it here. Can anyone tell us what to expect towards the end? Any signs.... anything would be of help, please! Nellie05 Fri, 12 Aug 2005 00:00:00 GMT Hi Nellie.My name is Linda and this is actually my first night on this board. I am also here because my dad has lung cancer and as I was reading some of the posts I came across yours and had to respond. When you were describing what your uncle was experiencing it brought me back to 2 years ago with my mother-in -law. It sounds so much like what she went through. sadly,that was the end stages for her,and by that point she was very ready. She also fell twice in the last couple of days of her life,and was still determined to try on her own. The only comfort I can offer you is that she told us she did not want to suffer any more and we were all with her in her time of passing. This may or may not be your uncles situation,but with my mother-in-law these were her final days. I pray for you and your family to have the strength to help your uncle and yourselves through this very difficult time. Sincerely, Linda Usmcmom99 Wed, 14 Sep 2005 00:00:00 GMT My mother is at end stage NSCLC. She has always been a very independent woman and taken care of herself. We admitted her into a hospice facility in July and the past couple of weeks she has started deteriorating. She (as of today) is bed ridden (to weak to get out of bed and feed herself). As the other writer suggested, talk to the hospice folks, my advice (for what it's worth) pick up the book "Final Gifts" - it's written by 2 hospice nurses and will better help you understand the dying process and what the dying want/need from the living. It is an excellent book full of short stories telling of the dying. I know it sounds morbid, but it truly has helped calm some of my fears. Remember, just being there with your Uncle in the same room is comforting to him. Do all you can, know you've done the best, and don't forget about yourself. Bdm1115 Tue, 29 Nov 2005 00:00:00 GMT