CancerCompass Message Board: my Mother Was Recently Diagnosed With Ca, Now my Father's Become Overbearing

CancerCompass Message Board: my Mother Was Recently Diagnosed With Ca, Now my Father's Become Overbearing CancerCompass message board discussion started by Cmyhope on 12/17/2005 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,3767,0.htm Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ my Mother Was Recently Diagnosed With Ca, Now my Father's Become Overbearing My mother was recently diagnosed with Waldensrom's and my father has felt that he can be her only cargiver. He prevents people from even talking to people on the phone. My sister and I are at our wits end. I understand that everyone deals with things in thier own was but it has resulted in frustration. any tips on how to deal with my father? My sister and I are both adults and we have families of our own-talking with my mother she is frustrated with my father's attempt at isolating her-especially over the christmas season. I have tried every approach with my father tht I can think of-I would love any suggestions. Cmyhope Sat, 17 Dec 2005 00:00:00 GMT Overbearing Father In some ways I am like your father. My wife had a GBM removed 14 months ago and I have been her caregiver ever since, sometimes being over protective. When my wife was first diagnosed with a brain tumor which turned out to be GBM I told my children that I would take care of the immediate needs, i.e. arrange for the operation, rehab, insurance, meds etc. and gave them the responsibility of gathering more info on GBM's, treatment programs, etc. So far that has worked out well. Perhaps you could offer to do this for your father. It would also be helpful for him to get some relief from the caregiving, if even for an afternoon. Hope this helps Peterd Fri, 03 Feb 2006 00:00:00 GMT You Are Not Alone... As hard as it is to go through, it may help to know you are not alone. My father is my mother's primary caregiver and he has sheltered her when necessary and when not so necessary. He is very protective of her, and being overprotective has always been his nature anyway, so you can only imagine. The struggle is that he won't allow much help from his daughters or from others, i.e. family and friends. Don't get me wrong, he has done an excellent job caring for my mom and probably no one could have done what he has done. But it's important for caregivers to have time away from the situation, so that they maintain a perspective that is healthy for them. Plus, others in the family need to help as well. It's part of loving someone to want to help care for them. When one person monopolizes all caregiving, then it wears that person down and others are frustrated and helpless, left to grieve alone. I am sorry for you and I hope as time has passed, your father has allowed you to help more and to have more access to your mother. Madelineruth Thu, 07 Sep 2006 00:00:00 GMT