CancerCompass message board discussion started by larisa s. on 12/28/2002 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,636,0.htm Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ My mom was diagnosted with malignant melanoma stage 4. It's too late to do surgery. The melanoma spread. The only option is chemotherapy, the doctor said. My mom doesn't know how bad the disease is, and I am afraid to tell her. larisa s. Sat, 28 Dec 2002 00:00:00 GMT Hi Larisa, I found this forum looking for info and stumbled upon your post. I'm very sorry to read about your mom. I know the situation you are in...to tell or not to tell. My sister passed away in 88 of another cancer. She was 36. When they told us she had months, we all went into shock. As the shock wore off I felt she should know but no one would tell her. At first the dr's told us to wait but then it got to the point where she should be told but my mom didn't want her to know, hoped the treatments she was going through would eventually work...thought if we told her she would give up. I have always regretted not telling her because I continue to wonder if she would have gone through the extreme chemo which affected her quality of life. Yes, she still might have gone through it all, hoping for the best since she was so young but by not telling her...we took her choice away. There did come a time when she said, "No more." which devastated my mom. My only advice to you is...do what your conscience can live with. Hopefully others will add to this. Oh, I just realized the date you wrote your post now almost 2 years ago. I don't think my post will help now. However, I'll leave my post for others to read in case it helps another somehow. Millie Fri, 17 Sep 2004 00:00:00 GMT