CancerCompass message board discussion started by Gloriad on 1/19/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,8947,0.htm Thu, 21 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT Thu, 21 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ i lost my husband 8/19/06 to melanoma after a 4month battle. he faught so hard. I've been lost ever since. we have a 1 year old together & he raised my older 2 chlidren. he was a great man! i just needed to talk to someone that went through the samething. i feel like no one understands how hard it is to be without him. my heart is so broken. every night i talk to him i tell him how much i miss him. then i pray to god for healing. i just really need someone to talk tolike i said i'm completly lost,& broken i never thought for a second he was going to diesorry if i depressed anyone Gloria Gloriad Fri, 19 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT Iam so sorry to her of you loss really my mom was diagnosed today and we are all shocked.I know this sounds  funny but have you gotten any books on grief they DO help just jotting down your inner feeling and thoughts help.You have beautiful kids and even if you dont want to get up think of them and fight its ok to miss him and to talk about him and to  him .But journal all this it will help your kids understand later.What happened and how hard it was ,BUT you also need to watch them and let them talk. I will be thinking of you please email me if you need to talk I am so very tired and alittle in shock  god bless tara  Jean1 Fri, 19 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT I lost my son my only child who was 27 to Melanoma, basically  he got an infection, that went to the heart, he died of congestive heart failure. After fighting Melanoma he passed away from something else.He was not married, no children, he had a finance'.  I know this was your spouse and probably appears to be a different connection than an adult child, however what I can say is to go to the message boards this helped me greatly.  I tried to convey to all I could, to watch out for infections.  Keep busy this helps greatly.  It doesn't make anything go away just keeps you from dwelling on it.I had the doctor prescribe to Ativan.  This really helped calm me and it helps with sleeping initally at night.  It does not make you stoopy.  I never thought I would take any medication for neves or grief.  I don't take this anymore.  It does help. Keeping with family & close friends with your husband can help also.    Dean in Georgia Mon, 22 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT I lost my husband a year ago to melanoma after 3 month battle.  I understand exactly how you feel.  I did not believe that my husband was going to die even after 3 doctors and nurses told me almost to the week when he was going to die.  It is still unreal.  I feel like I will wake up and this horrible nightmare will go away.  I cry so much.  I can not think of the future without him.  I go day by day. I have attended several grief theraphy classes.  The only thing I can say is they made me realize how normal I was!  That many of us are going thru the same agony.  They keep telling me that time will help.  Yes, I guess I am better than I was the first 6 months, and I am slowly getting on with life.  There is no choice.  I think your children will be a joy for you.  You have to look for it where you can.  I will pray for you. Prayerful Mon, 22 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT I am so sorry for your loss =( Being a newlywed, having just faced a melanoma scare myself, I can only imagine the pain you must be going through.  My only advice would be to keep busy and let your beautiful children occupy your time.  You will be in my prayers... G8r4evr Sat, 27 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT I'm so very sorry Gloria, and everyone else feeling the pain of losing someone you love.  It's terribly sad to read of so many kind hearted people hurting like this.My darling husband died of melanoma Oct 22nd, 2007.  He was 52.  He was diagnosed just after his 50th birthday.  It's hard not to re-live the treatment experiences in my mind and all he went through.  He was so very positive, strong, and brave.  Even on his worst days he was appreciative, kind and loving. Sometimes I have to remind myself to, literally, breathe.  I look for him everywhere, I talk to him all the time.  I ask him when he's coming home and why hasn't he called.  I cry every day, and, like someone else said, when I go to bed at night I talk to him and I pray that I'll somehow find happiness again.  I know he wouldn't want me to be spending my days in sadness and sorrow.  Our life together was full of joy and laughter.  31 years by his side and now I am completely lost.  I have always been so independent, but there's just nothing that compares to this kind of lonely.Our children and I are very close.  I don't know how I would survive without them. They are 23 and 24.  My son turned 24 on Christmas Eve....it was such a difficult holiday season.Thank you all for reading my note.  I will remember you in my prayers tonight that God will bring us peace while allowing us to hold on to every memory.  Sincerely, Mary  Sputnik Mon, 14 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT