CancerCompass message board discussion started by Annies Daughter on 1/20/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,8964,0.htm Tue, 02 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT Tue, 02 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ my mum has pancreatic cancer and secondary in her liver.  She was doing well and then she started to get confused.  This has brought on dementia.  Went to see her in hospital today it was horrible.  She won't let them give her fluid and she doesn't ask for pain meds as she has forgotten she has cancer.  It was horrible and all she kept saying to me was get me out off here it left me feeling so bad.  Just had to get that off my chest Annies Daughter Sat, 20 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT sorry to hear that. many of us have been there and its terrible to see a loved one in that position.  she's not in her right mind, she's in the best hands and place for treatment of her condition, and you really should not feel guilty. you're doing the best possible thing for your loved one. if she were more herself, you know that she would not want you to suffer as well. Cancerhealth1 Mon, 29 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT My mother had a brain tumor and my father had alzheimer's.  Years of experience has taught me that you have to keep telling yourself that it's not them but the disease talking.  They almost become like children and like children you have to know that you are doing what's best for them whether they accept it or not.  You WANT them to understand desperatley but they can't.  If you let it make you feel bad, they may become worse in an effort to get out.  Not because they're bad...but because they're in survival mode and they're doing all they can to get out of what they think is a bad place and from people they are convinced are hurting them.  My mother sat for hours, seemingly as normal as ever, telling me how they took her out at night to do experiments on her and other crazy stuff.  They may even accuse you of things.  You just have to keep in mind that it's NOT them talking.  She may not even stay this way either.  Dementia tends to come and go, depending on what's going on medically and emotionally.Stay strong, Mandy Nola Girl Mon, 29 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT