CancerCompass message board discussion started by Raine on 2/18/2007 http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,9730,0.htm Sun, 07 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT Sun, 07 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ hi, I've been reading alot of the messages the last few months. Reading them makes me feel like at least there's others that know what I'm going through.  My husban has NSLC in his upper left lobe. He we found out Nov. '05 and have went through all the radiation and chemo. even tried surgery but the cancer had attached to his chest wall.  His last rounds of chemo was in Nov '06  the cancer grew during this and made him so sick he decided that was it.  He's werst pain is in his shoulder and chest area and is on 30mlg of morphine with breakthrough the day. I've read others with the shoulder pain too, jim also has the cancer putting pressure on the vein coming out of his left arm so he's had 6 stents put in but still has a lot of swelling in his arm.  He's lost so much weight he's always been a small man and the 30 pounds he's lost has him down to 110 pounds. We have hospice coming in 3 times a week now which I can't say enough about. Our doctor really never helped me with what was to come but the nurses and support staff have been a blessing. The knowledge that I have someone to call anytime of the day and their help in understanding of whats happening to his body and not eating, which I felt like I was not doing something right. This is the scarest thing I've ever went though. It's so hard knowing I'm going to lose him, our seven years together hasn't been enough and I see him slowly slipping away from me. Most days I'm so busy with work. Which I couldn't do if it wasn't for my mom, she stays with him during the day and I'm keep busy in the evenings.  I'm scared to stop to much because when I do it hurts so bad I can't stand it.  I want to do more for him and keep hoping for some kind miracle.  It's so hard to stay strong for him.  Lorraine   Raine Sun, 18 Feb 2007 00:00:00 GMT Hi Lorraine My name is Karen I just lost my soulmate after 12 years together he was dx with RCC one year the 25th of FEB. I really feel your pain just be there and say alot of I Love you's. and holding his hand and just talking to him Hospice would tell me even if he's not responding he can still hear you. Make the last moments of his life special. If I could of got in the hospital bed with him I would have but I was afraid of hurting him. he died at home which helped us alot to say goodbye. Take care of yourself and time hopefully will heal  us both some day. but they will never be forgotten. Thinking of you Karen from Boston Yammi Fri, 23 Feb 2007 00:00:00 GMT