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Hi Mary-Ellen,
Smitten by GOD, and afflicted.
But HE was wounded for OUR transgressions,
HE was bruised for OUR iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon HIM,
And by HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED. ISAIAH 53;4-5
In life and in death HIS MERCIES ENDURE FOREVER....
It's so great to be reminded of such a wonderful prophecy and description of Jesus, our Saviour! I'm also reminded of what a great blessing the gift of faith is.
For nearly 18 years I bitterly rejected God along with the faith I was taught as a child. Through my years of wandering and living life as a near-atheist, hating all talk of God and religion, He patiently watched and waited for His prodigal daughter to return.
I would not have returned, or even thought seriously of Him except for uncontrollable bulimia, which "coincidentally" plagued me 16 of those 18 years, leading to self-hatred, shame and misery and finally bringing me to my knees with a plea to my father, who had just died: "If there is such a thing as heaven and you're there Daddy, please help me!" Graciously God heard my plea and immediately gave me the strength to stop purging.
It took several years of on & off weight gain due to continued use of food as my god, before I was ready and willing to enter a 12 Step Program based on the premise of a Higher Power of my own understanding. Through OA I began to develop an ever increasing ability to lean on and follow HP whom I knew little about except that HP loved me, was highly personal, and was changing my life for the better. My HP was somewhat like electricity: I understood little about it, and really didn't need to know more, but when I plugged my HP in, things changed ~ the lights came on, appliances worked, my problems were eventually solved.
I actually became a more loving person: instead of the screaming shrew I once was, I was patient with my husband and children... words came out of my mouth that were loving and encouraging... instead of the harsh criticism I'd spoken before....despair turned to hope...hatred to love.
I had received the gift of FAITH, though I didn't yet have a clear understanding of what that meant. That's a story for another time!
For now I do believe that Jesus is all you've described:
In life and in death HIS MERCIES ENDURE FOREVER......
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On Mar 05, 2010 1:16 PM grantsnanny wrote: Diane: We say "YEAH GOD" with every breath! We are 13 months of survival. Thankfully, no side effects from radiation or temodar. 3 brain surgeries, brain infection, kidney failure, blood clots, gallbladder surgery, ER visits too many to count, being told early Nov that he only had 2 weeks left, hospice care, unbelievable night terrors, fighting, screaming, thinking I was someone else, I was trying to poison him, calling our sons at 2 in the morning to help control him...on and on and on. Today, he is almost himself again. Walking with a cane, no wheelchair, able to bathe and feed himself, vision is awful, left side weak...but able to teach his Sunday School class with a little help from me with his reading, attending church on a regular basis...YEAH GOD. We still feel blessed. HOW? Faith...that is all that we have today. Hang in there..the best is yet to be. We speak the words you have here daily...Praise God from whom all blessings flow! God is good>>>>all the time
Dear Grant's nanny ~ I take it Grant is your 5 year old grandson. We have 8 grandchildren and each one is a precious "YEAH GOD!"
I just finished reading your description of all you and your family have been through... I've only read one other so powerful testimony to the grace and power of God, and that came from the man who wrote the book Tortured for Christ, Richard Wormbrand (sp?)
My situation pales by comparison, but I join in the chorus of "YEAH GODs."
Love,
diane
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Today is my husband, Bart's last radiation treatment!! Haven't figured out how we're going to do it yet, but we're gonna CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, come on!!!! All the prayers that have gone up on his behalf, as well as Bart's will and determination have resulted in his amazing resilience. At this time in the "treatment phase", the vast majority of patients with cancers of his type have had very serious, often life-threatening side effects (extreme nausea and vomiting, emergency room visits, serious neck, throat or mouth issues requiring 24hour narcotic patches, etc.) I'm not saying he's had no side effects ~ a 35# weight loss, 95% inability to eat by mouth due to mouth sores and greatly impaired swallowing ability and pain, etc. are nothing to gloss over ~ but it could be SO, SO much worse!
The skeptic who knows Bart & myself, (the "see the glass half empty" and anticipate the worst type) might chalk it up to Bart's personality and determination to prove me wrong. But that's where another "Yeah, God" comes in. For the most part, I've been able to go to Jesus (and a few close friends who help me pray) with my fears and anticipation of the worst, and ask Him to replace them with His peace that transcends understanding. Thus Bart is rarely aware of both my fears and potential side effects ~ and wants to keep it that way ~ and I've been able to hold my tongue and say nothing. For those of you who know me, you know that's a miracle in itself!
For those who don't believe in a personal God who, out of unfathomable love for His creatures, felt excruciating, unimaginable pain and bears the wounds of nail-scarred hands and feet to prove it.... I don't know how you get through this! Facing cancer is truly a faith-building or breaking experience.
There's a saying: "When you get to the point where God is all you have, you realize that God is all you need!" I'm there; He is Faithful! I can and do attest to that! His mercies are truly new every morning. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Celebrating the goodness and faithfulness of Jesus, my Saviour and LORD,
diane
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Tony, you ought to be ashamed!! just because cats are independent and you can't control them!!
That's a great picture though...
diane
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Thanks for all your wonderful replies Steve, my corner man Dave, Double P, Tony, Chris, and Jim. You can see why my fantastic husband has kept me in stitches for 43+ years. After confessing that I'd shared his analogy, I copied all your replies and showed them to him. They made him laugh and feel really good ~ thanks!
He's also beginning to deal with the fact that we can never go back to that "before cancer" state. But, as Jim just said, "we got the f****ing mouse!"
And that's something to CHEER about!!!!
With much love and gratitude to all of you,
diane
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On Feb 27, 2010 7:49 AM Super01Mom wrote: We live in Poway California. Chelsie is a senior at Poway High, along with my daughter, and she is a long distance runner on the track team , she has for years. She would run after school every day, for hours at a time, at our local park, the park is usually filled with joggers, Mothers with strollers, children playing, really safe area, we live in a really nice area, no gang activity, nicer middle class to high end homes. The school is considered one of the better in the nation. We have the best test scores and 90% of our kids are involved in some kind of school sport. Chelsie is a good kid, she has never been in trouble, this is a shock to the whole community. Her parents are besides themselves, I don't know what I would do if it was my daughter. We have passed out flyers, combed the area, parks, woods, lakes, the helicopters, dogs, volunteers, have been out with several search parties. This is all so scary. We lost one of my daughters friends right before Christmas in an automobile accident, and that was so sudden and horrible, but at least you knew what happen, this you don't know..if she is okay , hurt, alive, been taken somewhere, it is all so scary you just can't imagine. I will suggest the Nancy Grace show to the family. Please continue praying and I will keep everyone posted.
Thank You,
Sheryl
You've got tons of prayers coming your's and Chelsie's ways. I'm adding one of my favorites: ".... the Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7
I thank you Lord that you are near and hear all our prayers. I humbly ask that you intervene and make it possible for Chelsie to return home safely and unharmed. Give the police and the searchers uncanny wisdom and direction. If she's been abducted, soften the heart of her abductor so she may return home, if not unharmed, at least able to be healed. Be with Chelsie! and all who love her and are terribly frightened for her. Be with her family, calm them, strengthen them, remove their fear and replace it with Your peace that transcends all understanding. Amen
I will keep praying till we hear that she's been returned!
diane
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On Feb 09, 2010 2:48 PM millyppl wrote: Steve, As her sibling be there hold her let her cry if she needs it or rant if she needs it. They have made great improvements in treating cancer lately. She needs an advocate, someone to go to doctor appointments, tests to. If the doc is giving you bad news you get overwhelmed and dont always hear everything. When she goes a notebook to write all information, you can go back over it at later date. Get copies of her diagnosis, medical records and test results. Keep test results updated, take the latest of each with you to doctor visits. If you have a question the only stupid on is the one you didn't ask!
Steve help your nephew he is going to see mom go through some tough stuff and it will change his life, be his buddy let him know you are there, it sounds like he is going to need a hand to hold.
good luck and prayers to you all Milly
Steve,
Milly has some wonderful advice, I'll just add a little more:
You've found this site ~ it's been a lifesaver for me. If she or your brother-in-law are interested, definitely tell them to get involved. You'll find people who've had your sis's exact kind of cancer and/or treatment, other's who've experienced mis-diagnoses or doc/hospital screw ups, caregivers and patients, even some nurses and docs.
They're all eager to share their experiences, strength, and hope; cheer you on when you're low, celebrate the good news, cry with you for the bad. Always encouraging, sometimes funny, a place to vent along with encouragement to buck up.
Pray, pray, pray!
diane
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Welcome, Joanne,
This site has been a life-saver for me. I've found people who truly understand because they've been there. They readily share their own experiences, what worked and what didn't ... joys, sorrows, celebrations, tragic news........
My prayers and thoughts are with you as you begin your journey.
diane
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Thought I'd share my husband's analogy of his Radiation Oncologist:
Say you have a mouse in your house. Hubby says, "I got it; I'll get that little bugger" and goes into the garage and gets out his chain saw. He revs it up, waiting.... There it goes under the couch...BUZZZZZ! off goes the legs, then one side. Now frightened mouse runs behind the TV....BUZZZZZ! through the new HD TV and it's costly stand, there go the speakers.... "Got it's tail!!" Poor tailless mouse runs into the kitchen...back of the cabinets.....BUZZZZZ! cabinets in pieces....... mouse skitters under the table....BUZZZZZ! chairs in ruins... "Think I got his leg, maybe 2. Oops, guess I got a few table legs, too, sorry!" Eventually hubby does get the mouse......but the place is in shambles.
Can anybody relate? Is it worth it? Will things ever return to "normal?"
diane
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On Feb 26, 2010 9:20 AM skynet wrote: Incidentally we may not want to know but oral sex,particularly in your youth is a major risk factor in HPV throat cancer(both sexes).
Skynet,
You have just revealed the elephant in the room that nobody wants to name. Rebecca (reblee3) seems to confirm that, though I believe the number for the HPV causing cervical cancer is different from HN ~ am I right, Rebecca?
That's why even (maybe especially) the researchers know their jobs are secure. They will never run out of questions and theories to research.
I love discussions like this, but all the questions and statistics, like Jeff, Dave, and others said early on, lead to more questions, more statistics ad nauseum (To a disgusting or ridiculous degree; to the point of nausea.) ...but since the nausea is so disgusting to cancer warriors, especially those who've had chemo, it drives them and their caregivers to drink! :-) You can make Bart's a Boost Plus and mine a rum and diet cola..... I know, I know, gotta give up the hard stuff and the diet cola....and the double cheeseburgers (sorry dave)....and on and on......
Completely giving up alcohol absolutely stresses me out.... Of course, we can't worry about things like that ~ worry produces stress which researchers say may set off those cancer buggers! AGHHHH!
That's why the researchers know their jobs are secure. They will never run out of questions and theories to research.
diane
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