I am a 47 year old unassigned disabled Pastor for the Church of the Nazarene. I am also very proud to be a Veteran of the US Army and the US Air Force. I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Head Neck and Throat Cancer (SCC) on July 7, 2011 three days after burying my uncle from the same disease and my dad in 2009.
I finished radiation and chemo treatments on Feb. 1, 2012. It has been a very long, painful and lonely road to say the least but I am still fighting and will continue until I win or it kills me, whichever comes first.
Cancer has taken from me 107 pounds, 31 good teeth (for radiation), my tonsils, two other spots in my throat, and given me a baseball size knot on the side of my neck under my right ear. My PEG tube is out now and I can eat enough to survive. My cancer still remains and the docs are waiting and waiting to see what is next for me and whether more surgery, radiation and chemo is coming. I struggle now with a number of things:
1.) Pain in the neck and throat.
2.) I cannot swallow anything but soft foods like mashed taters.
3.) I struggle with sleep or the lack of getting any.
4.) I am very weak and cannot do much and the list goes on and on.
5.) I struggle with finding purpose and have no strength or will power to do anything. Cancer sucks! Just saying
I am ready for the next step whatever it is. If it is more chemo, radiation and surgery then let's do this. I am tired of waiting and watching to see what the cancer is going to do. That is not a fix or cure.