But whether that's good or bad isn't yet clear
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by Hayley5 -
Hi to All,
I am Willing's Wife. Just wanted to let you all know our story.
In June of 2005 our five year old Daughter Hayley was diagnosed with DIPG. Our world turned upside down. One day she's running across the yard and I'm thinking wow she can run fast for a five year old. And within a few weeks she can't seem to stay on her feet. And by July she can't walk. It happened that fast. Hayley underwent 6 weeks of Radiation and Chemo. We were told that was the only treatment for DIPG. We were also told by one of her doctor's "of all the kids that we know of that have this kind of tumor they all die within 2 months to 2 years of diagnoses". Since they all die after receiving Radiation and Chemo that says to me that Radiation and Chemo doesn't work and they know it doesn't work but they will put the child through it anyway!
Before I even knew that Hayley was sick God showed me Hayley wearing one of her favorite outfits laying in a casket. I saw it 2 different times both times I said why am I see this, this is crazy! Then I forgot about it. I have seen visions before that came true. In 1990 I started seeing what I thought was myself driving my car down the road and I go to make a left hand turn and I get hit in the drivers side. I saw it over and over again and shortly after that my mother inlaw got killed that way. As soon as that happened I stopped seeing the vision. A few years later I started seeing people strapped in airplane seats falling from the sky landing in the ocean I saw it over and over again. And shortly after that TWA flight 800 blew up over the ocean. When that happened I stopped seeing the vision. A few years later I started seeing an explosion and black men flying through the air. I saw it many times and shortly after that someone bombed the American Embassy in Africa. I always wondered why God showed me these things because he didn't give me enough information to stop it. I didn't realize what I was seeing until the event actually happened. Now I believe God was preparing me for Hayley. One morning while staying at the Ronald McDonald House I had a dream that we were at our church and I was walking down the aisle carrying Hayley's lifeless body in my arms and I went and laid her on the alter. Once again I believe that God was telling me that I was going to have to give her back to him. But I still didn't want to believe it. And I thought if I just have enough faith some how God will heal her. We searched for other treatments. We went to Dr. Burzynski in Houston. We believe that if we had been told about Dr. Burzynski's treatment first and had been allowed to do his treatment first that Hayley would still be alive. Since we had already done the Radiation and Chemo his treatment would not have work. The Radiation and Chemo make DIPG resistant to other treatments. The day before Hayley died the Hospice Nurse came by to check on her. She said Hayley's organs were starting to shut down. She took us in another room and said you may not think Hayley can hear you but she can and when you feel the time is right you need to tell her that it is okay for her to go because that is what she is waiting for. I said okay and she left. Then I said yeah right I'm not telling her that I don't want her to give up. But the next morning when we woke up Hayley's breathing was worse. And at 12pm Randy walked in the Room and said "Wanda she's just getting worse. And at that moment I realized that Randy was ready to let her go. And that I was just being selfish if God was going to heal her he would have already done it. So I picked her up and we sat down on the sofa with her and I said "Hayley I know it's hard and your tired of suffering so when your ready go ahead and go with Jesus and the angels". Hayley took another breathe and she was gone. She was just waiting for us to tell her it was okay to go. That night when I went to bed I said God I don't understand did I not have enough faith. When I said that God showed me the vision again of Hayley wearing her favorite outfit laying in the casket which let me know that it wasn't lack of faith and it didn't matter what treatment we did he wanted her back. That gives me peace that we did all we could do and that this was Hayley's purpose in life. I know people who have come to know God because of Hayley. At Hayley's funeral my sister Shelby and her husband James both saw Hayley wearing a beautiful white gown, smiling and holding Jesus's hand and he was also wearing a beautiful white gown. And as they turned to leave Hayley waved bye to them. One day I was crying and Hayley said Mommy don't worry about me I'm fine. I said Hayley I'm not worried about you I just miss you. Another time Randy was sitting in his recliner and he looked to the right and Hayley was standing beside the recliner wearing another one of her favorite outfits and smiling at him. Julie said Dad. And when he looked back where Hayley had been standing she was gone. We believe that God was letting him see that Hayley was okay! When ever our preacher came to see us he would put his arm around me and this calm peaceful feeling would come over me. It was God sending me his love through preacher Tony. I believe that as soon as Hayley took her last breathe that she was in the arms of Jesus and that he carried her up to Heaven. I got conformation of that. A preacher told a friend of my sister's at a church in Alabama that God kept showing him Jesus carrying a little blonde girl up to Heaven and sitting her down on the streets of Gold. And she was so happy that she started skipping and she skipped so much that he nicknamed her Little Skipper. And she had an anklet on her ankle and it said Hayley. Thank you God! Because of Hayley we are closer to God. Randy reads his bible and prays everyday. Our daughter Julie (she's 16) is on the Youth Leadership Team at our church. She also reads her bible and does a quiet time everyday. She has gone to school and invited other youth to church. I tell this story every chance I get. My friend Cindy has heard this story several times and she says she gets a new message from it each time she hears it. There is life after death. We are no longer afraid to die. Because we know that Hayley and Jesus is waiting for us. If you want to know more about Heaven there is a book called Heaven by Randy Alcorn. He tells you what he thinks Heaven will be like based on scripture from the bible. It is a good book. God has put each one of us here for a purpose. I believe my purpose is to share the spiritual side of Hayley's story. We believe that Randy's is to share the medical side. God tells Randy what to do. And Randy does it. Hayley's illness and death has been the hardest thing in our lives to go through but at the same time it has been so awesome to see how God has worked in us and through us. In the Bible it says we are to take care of our bodies so why would God want us to poison our bodies with Radiation and Chemo. We feel that God led us to Dr. Burzynski's Clinic not so that Hayley could be treated there but Randy could tell other people about Dr. Burznski's treatment. So when people on this site sensor's Randy's messages you are going against the will of God. And God will punish you for that. Everytime Randy feels like giving up God tells him something else to do. Randy will not give up until God tells him too! When a couple has a child with a serious illness and or dies. At least half the marriages end in divorce. And some people turn to Alcohol and Drugs to get through the pain. We turned to God. And God has given us everything we need to get through our Storm. One of my favorite songs is Praise you in the Storm by Casting Crowns. Lord I pray that everyone that reads this posting will get a blessing out of it. I pray Lord that your will, will be done in the hearts and lives of everyone reading this. In Christ name I pray. Thank you God for Randy , Julie and Hayley. Thank you Wanda Hinton Cross Hill SC
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