Kyria

My mother-in-law has had dibilitating pain in her feet after Taxol. She is on a "break" after 12 months of chemo due to her inability to tolerate the side effects. Her doctor gave her Neurontin (100mg 3xday) for neuropathy in her feet, and it has helped significantly. Today I noticed white, scaley patches on her scalp; does anyone know what this is?  Thank you...

Eleni

I want to find more information to help me care for my dear mother-in-law, age 86, diagnosed Nov. 1, 2011 Stage III-C, and to support others who have this cancer. She has had chemotherapy with Carboplatin and Taxotere, just Carboplatin, and then Taxol. She is now on a break from chemo due to side effects. After two infusions of Carboplatin/Taxotere she was admitted to the hospital with acute neutropenia, diarrhea, fever, and dibilatating fatigue. No response from the staff to her sudden shortness of breath and difficulty led to A-Fib, resulting in congestive  heart failure, and we almost lost her in ICU. She has been unable to tolerate Carboplatin or Taxol. I noticed white, scaly patches on her scalp today, and have no idea what they are. She has become very confused, is unsteady and must use a walker all of the time, sleeps often, is tired, does not want to eat, and a chest x-ray last week to check the status of a <5cm tumor in her lung showed a "peripherally marginated left perihilar mass with central lucency" - which I assume is cancer in the lung? I want to know if her cancer is spreading, and why her lung tumor is not being treated. Perhaps someone can help me.....

Dear Jane,

I hope you find some initial comfort in knowing that most of us who are caring for someone have felt as worn out as you do, for similar reasons. I have been caring for my mother-in-law for over a year, in my home. I find that I sometimes just have to ignore her demands, and respond that I am doing the best that I can do for her. She is such a sweet lady, and her disease and treatments have changed her. I remind myself of that - and that none of this is her fault. I have only recently realized that I need to give myself a break sometimes and have dinner with a friend, do some shopping, or treat myself to something nice for ME. These things make us better for THEM, as we come back a little refreshed. I, too, have no help. Jane, dont lose your friends-you need them. If they don't call - call them. Tell them you appreciate and need their friendship. People just don't know what to do for us, or even what to say.

We can only do the best that we can, and we just have to remember always that we do it with love. This is the only gift we have for them.  Stay in touch...

Eleni