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eastwest's Recent CancerCompass Activity

  • eastwest has replied to a post on the message board

    Phil and I grew up as teens in the same neighborhood. Plus we both were in foster home settings. So it's a combination of why he knew me so well and understood and being married 40 years. Frankly he let me get away with the quietness I go into when things aren't going well. He was quiet also and undemanding. The man I am seeing now has a different background. Very open. He says he couldn't be in a rel...

    April 15 at 8:40 PM view post
    • eastwest has replied to a post on the message board

      I remember the anticipatory grief as the phases of Phil's illness went. Losing a bit it seemed everyday but never knowing which day would be the last. It seemed sureal when people would talk about their daily lives as usual while ours revolved around the fight against the cancer. About a yr and half after he died I started to do meet and greets which were so awkward. I knew what I didn't want but who could fill my m...

      April 14 at 2:15 AM view post
      • eastwest has replied to a post on the message board

        That was a beautiful tribute to Mark for your daughter to be one of the pall bearers and walking with him. We were up in the mountains, one of Phil and my favorite places to be, although we never got to the Tenn mountains. Scott and Windy had rented a house. They stayed there until two days after the wedding. The minister came there and we had the wedding out on top of the deck. There were only 10 of us including ...

        April 14 at 1:58 AM view post
        • eastwest has created a new message board discussion

          This morning I went to our church's second annual sunrise service. Didn't make it last year's due to 2 days post op gall bladder surgery. So there I was by the stream this morning. There were 3 long time married couples who came, the minister and the reader and myself. I think from the minister's perspective I was the lone person. It struck me too. Last night I happened to leave my baritone ukulele in the car and I...

          April 06 at 2:43 AM view discussion
          • eastwest has replied to a post on the message board

            Allie   I am so sorry you lost your husband. It takes a long time to work thru grief of losing a spouse. It probably seems like forever since December to you. I remember how I just tried to get thru each day and those endlessly long nights after my husband passed. Plus there was that fog of trying to do things. I found that unless a friend had been thru it themselves they really didn't understand. I know ...

            March 24 at 3:49 PM view post
            • eastwest has replied to a post on the message board

              I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. No one will ever replace her and I am sure your father knows this. Widowhood (horrible neighborhood) is such a lonely desolate place. Unfortunately family members can only help so much as everyone is going thru their own grief. Loss of a parent is so different than loss of a child or a spouse. Also so individual.  It is normal for you to be a bit resentful about you...

              March 22 at 8:12 PM view post
              • eastwest has replied to a post on the message board

                Dear Stephen   I know how you feel. I remember saying those exact words to my best friend when I was well into the second year after Phil had died to this physical world. The ache just never seemed to leave. I would not hurt myself, but the desire to live was no longer there even though I participated in family functions and breathed in and out.  I did a lot of praying. I said "God I can go now and it'...

                March 18 at 6:59 PM view post
                • eastwest has replied to a post on the message board

                  I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. I am sure it was a reassuring blessing for him to hear you say you would take care of his sons.

                  March 18 at 6:49 PM view post
                  • eastwest has replied to a post on the message board

                    Stephen    It's so easy to take our lives and the lives of those around us for granted especially when things go well. I think most of us here no longer do that. When Phil became ill each day I made a gratitude list. No matter how bad things got I found there were precious things. There are... even in our struggling grief. Irene

                    March 05 at 12:41 AM view post
                    • eastwest has replied to a post on the message board

                      I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Jock.   After Phil passed I had both dogs who were on the senior side. His pug Misty never liked me but we sought comfort in each others company. My greyhound Dickens was a mama's boy lol. Frankly it was harder losing the pug a couple years later cause it seemed like another piece of Phil was gone.  hugs   Irene

                      February 25 at 1:53 PM view post
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                      About eastwest

                      Caregiver
                      Esophageal Cancer
                      Alternative Treatments, Cancer Diagnosis, Cancer Nutrition, Chemotherapy, Diagnostic Imaging, Diet, Emotional Support, Radiation

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