Counting time is the worse!!! Everytime I realize that they gave him 1 year to 18 months...I always count from the month I'm currently on and say to myself "one year" from now...but in actually "IF" the doctors are right October is only 6 months away...I still try to believe he will probably outlive me, if he continues to take his meds. I get so angry when he misses his doses! Not because he forgot but because he is out doing too much and loses track of time. Then he doesn't feel good the rest of the day. Grrrrrrrr.
I have made no plans and don't know what I am going to do. I only know that I will not/cannot stay in this house if the Lord sees fit to take him from me.
Seems like making plans and arrangements is like admitting defeat and I can't bring myself to do it. Everyone thinks that I am holding it together but I am not. I just keep it together enough to go to work everyday with enough pills in my system an elephant would sleep for a week! I will be a wreck if I am around when the end comes.
We just had our honeymoon in Hawaii two weeks ago. At least I'll have that memory. We took our last bit of money to do it :)! We don't care we went to the Luau, on a submarine, volcano trip, down in the shark cage!! He swam with wild dolphins (ended up getting water in his lungs though; the phnemonia arrived about the time we got home. And watched the Hawaiian Sunset...So far he still remembers....