rasvp

yeah, I saw the news today. 

I read the WHO release

http://www.iarc.fr/en/media-centre/pr/2011/pdfs/pr208_E.pdf

I totally agree with you.

It breaks my heart when people try to "downgrade" our ill or terminal brain cancer patients, saying that they should have followed a diet or should have drank XYZ juice or ABC food. I remember that I thought about taking away meat from my father's diet because I read somewhere that meat increases the speed of cancer, when there is no scientific study about this.  His fight was just 4 months long, and I am glad we never had a "special" unproven diet for him. He continued having the same stuff, and nobody is going to convince me his normal food intake was the cause of his disease or his death. He enjoyed his food until the last moment.

Brain cancer sucks and if somebody is in remission, my simple explanation would be that the genetic makeup of the tumor was not so aggressive as others, in other words, luck. Occam's razor is the best explanation for many things. 

But maybe the worst and sickest explanation is to assume somebody died because of their lack of faith in a higher being. That just strikes me in a very bad way. 

Science will come up for a cure for this crappy disease. I have read some patients in here will or already donated their bodies for scientific research into this disease. Every time I read that kind of stuff, faith in humanity increases exponentially and a smile runs through my face. That is true altruism and I thank all those people, as their altruism might end up creating a better world for all our grandchildren.

I hope the MRI is clear and your mother can continue living as long as she wants. Nobody should be suffering this beast.

My best wishes.

Its sad, life sucks at moments.

I spent the afternoon today thinking of my dad's last days telling me "now we are going to build your house, that will keep me going" or "if I have to suffer this to see you guys one more year, I will gladly suffer it" but? gone in 4 months since diagnosis...It's been 2 months exactly since his death and I can't get over this feeling, I know it's too soon, but it sucks. One of the escapes I have is to curse at the world, but I won't do that here as I might be warned, but trust me I just start saying the ugliest words when I am alone.

crap/ I just wish life would be so different at times.

I guess weekends are sometimes not so good as we have too much free time on our hands.

Just a short message.

I am also haunted by memories of the beast. It's one of the things that bothers me the most. ahh...

I just hope someday I can make peace with these awful memories.

Having a nephew of the same age (which I love more than life itself) and losing my father to GBM, I can't even imagine my own nephew having this monster. 

I just hope that your son keeps cancer-free forever and he goes on to live to his 90s or even further! I just hate to read when this crap attacks young innocent children. now I am angry :(

just please know I wish ALL the best for your son and family.

Hi,

I've been away from this board since my father died. He passed away Feb 4, 2011. This is a rollercoaster. I have good days and bad ones. Good moments and bad moments. I can tell you I have not felt "really" happy or have a "real" smile in all this time. It is good to know that this is a normal process, though.

My father just lasted 4 months after his surgery. Just 2 weeks after his surgery he was talking about all the things he was going to do when he recovered, like helping me build my house, taking us all to a chinese restaurant he knew, etc.  Just about 2 months from that he just went downhill, losing all his abilities, being bedridden about 3 weeks. The last days he just was not in this world, and basically the last 2 days his developed the death rattle or whatever is called.

Anyway, it's been a shitty time for me. I keep on going with life, I put a "fake" smile on my face, but the pain is there and I think about him many times per day.

Just please know you are not alone. I am not switching off either, I will not switch off for a long time. I am ready to live with this pain as long as it takes, because this pain is  because I loved my father til death and I love him thereafter. I can't avoid it, and you should not avoid it either. Just let pain invade you and deal with it now. It will subside in the future.

And yes, it was hard writing this post. Some tears came out.

You are very welcome. Be easy on yourself during these days, weeks. Don't rush. Take it at your pace.

"just wondering if dr's had seen him a couple of weeks sooner things might be different"

No, it won't have been different. Don't be hard on yourself. Nobody told this beast to visit our homes, nobody is to blame. What matters now is how we loved our people. How we celebrated life with them. Love defeats cancer, whatever the end result is. 

Go ahead with your farewell duties, family and friends will be your support now. Just let them carry you through this waves of sorrow. At the end, you will appreciate all despite the grief.

Hi, this is my first message in about a month, since my father passed away.

I wanted to reply because he went through something similar. My wound is still very fresh and it's hard to remember all the stuff, but gladly will share it with you to offer my support during this trying times.

His surgery was on the 2nd of november, 95% resection. 2 weeks at home after that, doing good, everybody was happy, all of a sudden some clots on the lungs. Went to the hospital for another week. Then came back home and we started making plans for our future life together. My father was 63, so really young. Anyway, 2 months passed and we were doing improvements, walking each day small steps. All of a sudden he starts losing all, his left side went away, could not stand up by himself. We went to to a Scan and the dr did not mention anything about a recurrence or whatsoever. We just went home baffled. 

Anyway, it hurts as hell  to remember this crap, but after that scan, he went downhill extremely fast and died 1 month later, feb4 2011. 

All his dreams, all my dreams with him, all my mother's dreams with him, all my nephews dreams with him, were destroyed by this awful beast. I am just glad cancer is not longer in the family but it took away a piece of my heart forever. Just taking it a minute at a time trying to heal and enjoy life again. For crazy as it may sound, having a short battle with GBM is sometimes a blessing. I could not have tolerated seeing my father in that state for another month.

hugs to you,

rasvp

Hi friends,

my dad passed away Friday 4th, at 10:05AM. In his short three month journey, he was always surrounded by love and attention, as he deserved.

Now we begin our healing journey that will hopefully lead us to more happy days. I am really hoping to smile again.

I will not be posting in a while as I want myself to grieve properly without reading about cancer for a while. I promise I will come back when I feel better to support other people going through this awful journey, brain cancer. I am on my knees right now, I want to stand up again for my mother and the rest of the family that is left behind. Everything is surreal at the moment.

(if anyone needs any urgent reply from me, just PM me and I will get the alert on my email box and will reply)

Hugs to all!,