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My mother was 89 years old and was diagnosis with stomach cancer last August, 2010. She has always eaten out of a saucer instead of a plate.  In the beginning, it was not so bad. She got up some mornings, just sitting on the side of the bed, other morning she stayed in bed all bed. The doctor that diagnosed her wanted me to tell her, but I just could not knowing that she could not get any type of treatment because of her heart. Her primary doctor, who I thought would let me know when things were changing, did not. I asked him every month did the cancer spread, he would always tell me no. My mother was getting weaker as time went on. Christmas Eve she fell on the floor in some courses of the night, I found her on the floor the next morning. Nothing appeared to be broken although she was down about 2 days. That next Monday morning she was up feeling better as ever. She had even cooked dinner. By the end of January, she was admitted into the hospital January 31st, as she could not get up nor use the potty, and she just complained saying her legs hurt. Me not knowing that the cancer as actually spread throughout her body. She stay in the hospital and was released February 12th. Before she was release, I wanted the hospital to do a bone scan to see how far do the cancer spread, they told me no. So again I asked her primary doctor did the cancer spread he once again told me no. When the ambulance brought my mom home, she hollowed 24 hours. She was in sooo much pain. I called hospice care Monday morning they admitted her Monday afternoon and she passed Wednesday evening. I was her caregiver the only one out of two of her sisters, plus my brother. The good thing I can say, is I have 55 years good memories with my mother and her Homecoming was held on her would have been 90th birthday. However, I can say you will always miss your love one. Today it will be a month and it’s seem like yesterday.

 

Be strong and let them know how much you love them.

 

Thank you for your encouragement.  My mother does not know that she was diagnosis with cancer.  Her primary doctor does not think it' a good idea to tell her. She's 89 with a bad heart, plus chemo and radiation therapy is out.  Her heart would not last doing the first treatment.  If her knew, she would worry herself to death. Do you think I am wrong for not telling her?

What Should I Do?

by sruff20000 - August 28, 2010

I need some directions because I don’t know where to turn and have no help.  My mother was diagnose with stomach cancer, but before the results came back from  her endoscopy test, the doctor told me  that there was a mass on her colon as well.  At that time the doctor asked me did I want them to send my mother through another test to see if the colon was cancerous I told them no, because my mother is 89 years old with a bad heart and it is just so much anesthesia she could go through.  But with all the symptoms I suspect it in her colon as well, but I am not a doctor.  I faxed three reports to  her primary doctor, to see what  our next steps were. He told me that the cancer is at an early stage, and  that a large, 4-5 cm diameter modular mass was not that big,  plus he said it’s on the lining of her stomach. Well how big is a stomach?  Then he has nerve to suggest if I wanted to have her stomach remove…. I couldn’t figure that statement out since he said it wasn’t  that bad,  yet wanted to have her go through surgery to remove her stomach.  Well, I plan to go to his office attempting to have all of my questions down on paper.  And as far as all of the medical terms in the reports,  I have looked  on  WebMD and found information on the symptoms and I find   it hard to believe that my mother is in her early stages.   She eats about 3 mouthful of food and says she is full. She also have a very hard time trying to release herself.   When she does release herself her stool is very dark (black) tarry looking.  In one of her medical reports it states they others areas were inspected;  and one of the words in the report said angiodysplasia  , which is in the colon, which was abnormal.  Also seem in the report findings about lung bases demonstrate platelike atelectsis, which means lung cancer.   I am not sure what her primary was looking at, when  I faxed him three different reports  it seem he was only looking at one. What I plan to do since I do have Power of Attorney over her medical to go to all of her doctors and the hospitals that her was ever admitted to obtain all of her medical history and then schedule an appointment with an oncology. Or is this something I should do?  

Any information or what to do would be greatly appreciated, I do not want my mother to hurt nor suffer without attempting to find out answers and what stage oc the cancer she is in.     

I need some directions because I don’t know where to turn and have no help.  My mother was diagnose with stomach cancer, but before the results came back from  her endoscopy test, the doctor told me  that there was a mass on her colon as well.  At that time the doctor asked me did I want them to send my mother through another test to see if the colon was cancerous I told them no, because my mother is 89 years old with a bad heart and it is just so much anesthesia she could go through.  But with all the symptoms I suspect it in her colon as well, but I am not a doctor.  I faxed three reports to  her primary doctor, to see what  our next steps were. He told me that the cancer is at an early stage, and  that a large, 4-5 cm diameter modular mass was not that big,  plus he said it’s on the lining of her stomach. Well how big is a stomach?  Then he has nerve to suggest if I wanted to have her stomach remove…. I couldn’t figure that statement out since he said it wasn’t  that bad,  yet wanted to have her go through surgery to remove her stomach.  Well, I plan to go to his office attempting to have all of my questions down on paper.  And as far as all of the medical terms in the reports,  I have looked  on  WebMD and found information on the symptoms and I find   it hard to believe that my mother is in her early stages.   She eats about 3 mouthful of food and says she is full. She also have a very hard time trying to release herself.   When she does release herself her stool is very dark (black) tarry looking.  In one of her medical reports it states they others areas were inspected;  and one of the words in the report said angiodysplasia  , which is in the colon, which was abnormal.  Also seem in the report findings about lung bases demonstrate platelike atelectsis, which means lung cancer.   I am not sure what her primary was looking at, when  I faxed him three different reports  it seem he was only looking at one. What I plan to do since I do have Power of Attorney over her medical to go to all of her doctors and the hospitals that her was ever admitted to obtain all of her medical history and then schedule an appointment with an oncology. Or is this something I should do?  

Any information or what to do would be greatly appreciated, I do not want my mother to hurt nor suffer without attempting to find out answers and what stage oc the cancer she is in.     

RE: alone and frustrated

by sruff20000 - August 25, 2010

I am sorry to hear about your mother. I rememeber when my mother was in a nusing home to get IV therapy (Medicare did not pay for the eqipment in the home)  she asked for salt.  They nurse told me that the dr did not want her to have any.  I told them that she is 89 years old and if she wanted to use a whole box on her meals, then let her. No more problems after that, but my mother was  diagnose yesterday with stomach cancer and colon.  I to am all alone, although I have a brother that is 2 years older than I am. We both work. She has two sisters but one can not get around that good. The other sister comes over sometime. So there's no one in the home while we are gone. My mom does not get up no more than to use the potty chair that is by her bedside.  I cook her breakfast and give her her med's, then I'm off to work. My brither pops his head in then he's gone.  She is at home after being released from the hospital last week after taking a endoscopy.  I had been calling the dr. office waiting on her results, then they call me back yesterday and wanted my mother to come in so that they came go over the finding of her test. Well, I refused and went there myself, since I have Power of Attorney over my my mother's medical business.  My mother has a bad heart and would not survive the treatments.  I do not even know what stage she is in, but her legs hurt to touch and her hands pains all day and night. I have called her primary doctor waiting on his directions on what to do next. The dr that gave me her result told me that her stomach will close in about 2 months, and then she will go on a feeding tube. My mom does not eat much now, about a hlad of an egg and coffee.  For her dinner I cooked some fish, she only ate half. She had loss 10 pounds in a week.  I am very much afraid. I have accepted the she has cancer and aqccepted fact that she is going to die, but I just can't accept the fact that she may suffer.

Believe me you are not alone.....

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About sruff20000

Caregiver
Stomach Cancer
Support

I am the caregiver for my mother who is 89 years old. Who does not know she has cancer. She is already fighting, and if I tell her she was probably just give up. I dont know what to expect with her illness (Stamach and Colon cancer). I know her skin is paper thin. Her body hurts, she's in pain all the time and I dont know what to do. I dont want to see my mother suffer. She was just diagnose yesterday after taking an endoscopy test, last week. Shehad a sheduled appointment with her stomach dr and she had told him that she had been throwing up and he advised her to go to the hospital where she was admitted. She have trouble moving her bowels. I suggested prume juice and it seem to work. However, it is a lot of mucous and her stool is very black and tarry. Before she was diagnose, I thought it was alzheimer. She was getting bossy and demanding, but the dr said it was the cancer. I am very much afraid and yet to know what stages she is in.

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